I’ve enjoyed to do several vlogs today, and I’ve basically been enjoying myself the entire day. And I’ve been quite silent, I’ve had some patterns come up, but I mean, if I compare towards before. This is heaven. Heaven on earth that is me, not having any mind patterns going around.
What I wrote yesterday about my pattern of starting things, jumping of things cleared up a lot of things for me. When I woke up today I experienced myself very stable, and like I could really feel my body. And instead of my day looking at my dauntingly, I quite enjoyed the prospect of getting up and expressing myself.
It’s like the starting point of my life, I have begun to change the starting point of my life. From seriousness, from wanting reach, from wanting to get, and from wanting to achieve, to instead a exploration, a adventure, and something that I can enjoy. Everything must not be perfect, everything must not be better than what others do it, nobody needs to have any opinion about what I do what-so-ever. I do it because I see that it needs to be done. And within that, that I see what need’s to be done, I try whatever I try. And I enjoy that, because it’s a point of creativity. Of conveying my realizations, my insights, my perspectives in writing, or in music, or in vlogs, it’s just fun to be a part of this movement. Because I see that this is what must be done. Get humanity out of this sleep that have lasted for so long through expressing, and moving, and expressing, and moving. And it doesn’t matter how it looks, or how it’s perceived, or what others think of it. What matters is the principle that is conveyed, the message, not the messenger. So, that’s why I have enjoyed myself so much. Because I begun to remove the seriousness from myself, and instead I am walking this process more, because it’s fun, and I take opportunities to express myself, take opportunities to explore our current system, and move myself within the current system and I allow myself to play around, and fool around.
Freedom of expression, that is what I haven’t allowed myself to live in this process yet. That was what Jorn got to hear from resonances. And I start to understand what freedom of expression means, and what it means to be innocent.
For example, if I make music. Before, I would concentrate on the final product, how good this can become, what will others think of it, how will this be received. Now when I do music, I simply do the music, and I enjoy myself when I am doing it. I am not thinking anything. And when I write the lyrics, I have fun writing the lyrics. I explore words, I explore expressions, and I just do it. Without any thoughts behind it. And that’s what innocence is. To not have any want within what your doing.
Another example is, if I am doing a movie, then I would focus on the quality of the movie, the quality of how it looked, and I would desire it to be perfect. I wouldn’t give a damn about me, and my self-expression, myself and how I experience myself in that moment. But that is what I am doing now, or, I am working on this point. I am working on establishing this point of self-enjoyment within everything that I am doing. So that I am not doing everything to get it as good as possible, but I am doing it because I enjoy it, I am doing it until I am satisfied, I am doing it as a point of just letting go and having fun and not worrying. So that’s the point.
I noticed that this point is getting through in my vlogs also, because I have much easier to speak, and express myself. And it’s because I have seen this point, of seriousness, and of, basically, having to be so up-tight at all times. Feeling like I must achieve, and place something of value, something that will catch the attention of others. Instead of just doing it because I enjoy it, enjoying myself in the moment. Not having any expectations upon myself, not wanting myself to come out in any particular way, not comparing myself to anybody else. But I am just doing it for myself.
And, when I write that, I am doing it for myself, I am thinking that it’s egoistical. But isn’t everything we do, done for self. Because I am always here with myself. I can’t actually not do something, not for myself. Everything that I say, everything that I choose to participate in, it’s done for myself.
What I feel like this collides with is the point of what is best for all. And that if I do what I enjoy, if I do things for myself. Than I will exclude others, and then I won’t consider others. But that doesn’t have to be true, I can do things for myself, and still have others participate. I mean, I am doing vlogs, for myself, but I am doing it because I want others to see them and also realize what I’ve realized. But I am doing it for myself, within my own self-honesty, of what I’ve realized that I must do, and not for anyone else.
So doing things for myself, doesn’t need to be anything that is bad. And just because I do for myself doesn’t have to mean that I am not doing what is best for all. If I am acting as what is best for all, for myself, that is the point. Where my standing is not done for others, I am not expressing myself because anyone say that I should express myself. I am doing it for myself, because I’ve realized that this is what I must do. This is what I want to do. This is somebody must do. And that is why I do it. And I don’t do it because someone tells me to do it.
I wanted to get that clear. Because it’s a point I am uncertain of, and have been uncertain of. That, how can I do something for myself, if I am doing what is best for all. But it makes sense, if I see and realize that who I am, who I actually am is everyone. Thus when I do something for myself, I am actually doing something for everyone. Because I am not separate from anyone. I am everyone.
Thus, actual self-movement, actual self-expression, is when everyone is considered. Because then you are considering yourself. Because you are actually everyone.
I am moving myself for myself. And I am moving myself to establish myself within, no I am moving myself to establish equality. And I am enjoying that immensely. I enjoy establishing equality within me, as I let go of patterns, definitions, ideas. And I enjoy establishing equality as this world, as I write and as I do vlogs and blogs. It’s just, very fun.