When I started process about 3 years ago I was a wreck of fear. I seldomly spoke a word that was unconditional and not tainted with anxiety and worry. I thought about money all the time, how much money did I have? How little money did I have? Always in a constant and continuous worry and fear. Did I have enough friends? Do I have enough sexual experience? I mean, basically all the bullshit you can think off – that existed in my head and shaped the experience of me!
So, quiet fucked up. But then I found desteni and my process of purification began. Slowly I started to bring myself back to the physical and as fear or anxiety arose I breathed through it. Each time fear of money came, each time fear of the future came – I applied self-forgiveness. Or I mean, not each time – this application has actually grown with me as I’ve expanded in my process. But anyway, I’ve been quite consistent with my application of self-forgiveness and then the practical application of breathing through the shit and not re-creating it again.
And look! Look where I am at today! I mean, you can’t see it or experience it as I do, but I mean if you could – I just say wow. The experience of me, the character of me, the words that I speak, how I take decisions, how I consider implications of my participation in my world; in comparison to the old me, I am now a life rocket scientist. Meaning, my application of living is now at the level of a rocket scientist, if (apparent) intelligence was to be compared with the ability to live, and before I was a 3-year-old worm. LOL! That’s how much I’ve ‘grown’ since I began this process. Not that a rocket scientist necessarily knows anything about living, it was just an example to show my growth – from a worm to a rocket scientist.
And I mean, the experience of myself compared to before is simply astonishing. I remember that Bernard told me once on the farm, “It feels like you are dead inside”. I also experienced myself that way before. I slept 12 hours each day. I mean, I don’t feel dead anymore and I don’t sleep 12 hours each day. I don’t dread to get up in the morning anymore, I can see something new at my horizon, something that I’ve never experienced before except as a very young child. Life!
This would never have been possible without the assistance of Desteni or the courses that Desteni “I” process offer. I mean, I am the example that what Desteni say is the truth. I am the example that self-forgiveness, self-honesty and common sense are indeed the key to heaven on earth. And unfortunately I can’t invite you inside of me to see and experience the change – I would if I could!
Though, I can invite you to walk the same process that I’ve walked and as such have the opportunity to give yourself the gift that I’ve given to me. Then you don’t require looking inside of me, because you will look inside of yourself and there will be this silence and comfortableness within you, in which you simply feel at home. That is life – real satisfaction with no fear or desire and this is possible for each and everyone to experience. Our system of money, greed and fear is not the only way to live – there is another way! It’s a way to experience heaven on earth – which is you in full application of yourself as self-trust.
So, don’t wait – don’t hesitate – join desteni “I” process and discover that the meaning of life is here – as yourself – as breath – as the physical.