I had just finished the gymnasium and I was searching for something, I wanted there to be something in life more exciting than money – something meaningful – something that I could dedicate my life towards, and find true enjoyment doing; so far I hadn’t found anything that I could completely immerse myself in, I hadn’t found anything that fulfilled me – so I felt empty.
It was in this state of emptiness that I decided to travel the world too see if I could find what I was looking for outside the borders of my birth-country – I went to Asia – I found nothing – what was I looking for? What was it that was missing in my life? How come that nothing of what I did felt valuable, substantial, of any worth? How come I felt empty at all times? What was it that was missing?
I tried following my dream – to become an artist – I thought that maybe me becoming an artist would fulfill me? I managed to find a gig, I managed to play in-front of a crowd – I managed to get a couple of people to tell me that I was good at singing, and good at playing guitar – yet still – what is it that is missing? Why can’t I be satisfied with myself? Why does it feel as if there always something left be done, no matter how much do?
I wanted an answer – I wanted to be able to enjoy myself – I remembered my childhood clearly – I knew that when I was young I had experienced myself differently – I had been able to enjoy myself, and find the most simple things to be so utterly fascinating, and exciting – playing football with my friends – bathing in the lake – having a pet lizard, feeding it and looking at how it ate small worms – building villages out of sand, and then playing with the small sand houses – I remembered this time well, and I knew that as I had grown older – this ability of mine that I had possessed as a child, to be able to immerse myself in the movement of the moment, had gone missing.
Something had to be done – an answer had to be found – a solution had to be created – I couldn’t continue to live and experience myself as I did – I wanted to return to my childhood experience of myself – but how? Where was the answer? And why was I the only one that felt as I did? Didn’t anyone else feel that, as they came to grow and become older, they slowly but surely ran stale, like water once running freely and abundantly in a lake, but year by year slowly and almost unnoticeably drying out, until one day no more water remains – that was how I felt – like a fountain of water that didn’t anymore have access to it’s water supply – there was something missing.
I found spirituality – I found meditation – I found the belief in ascension – this made somewhat sense I thought and I tried to empty my mind, too breath and somehow change the experience of myself, and find some type of peace, or comfortableness – this didn’t work – I wanted it to work – I deceived myself into believing that it worked, but in essence I remained the same – still this same restlessness – this same unease – this experience of wanting to go somewhere, yet no matter how many times I got there – there was still another there to go to.
Then I found Desteni – due to my experience of myself, as having realized that I was empty, that there was something missing in my life, and that there was something fundamentally flawed and wrong with how I experienced, expressed, lived myself – I knew that that this was in-fact the answer I had been looking for – I was ready to hear – more than ready to hear – I understood that I had somehow, without me realizing, or seeing it died during my years of coming to age, and I knew that Desteni offered and shared the practical way of bringing myself back to life – self-forgiveness – self-corrective application – self-honesty – common sense and breath.
I was looking for my youth – for the ability a child owns of being able to enjoy themselves without any addiction needed to be fulfilled – no love – no sex – no weed – no alcohol – no dreams – no money – no success – no power – no ascension – simply living self-enjoyment here – no more and no less – this was what Desteni showed me – how this can be done – how the expression of living as the innocence of a child can be re-created and re-stored – this was what I had been looking for all along.
None of my friends understood or saw what Desteni presented – the reason – they were all to satisfied with holding on to their perceived experienced of satisfaction, created through the usage of various drugs – whether it be sex – whether it be alcohol – whether it be drugs – they simply didn’t want to face that inner experience of emptiness and pointlessness that I came to see and experience within me – this experience that I had for quite some time been suppressing with the usage of drugs and additives; but no more – I wanted to exist without additives – without a constant need of placing myself into an experience of fabricated bliss – that really was only me not being aware of myself anymore – but existing completely secluded from reality and how I in-fact felt.
Desteni presents the most important message ever shared with mankind – Desteni presents the way back to innocence – the way back to self-expression – the way back to self-trust – the way back to self-enjoyment – the way back to ourselves – we’ve all been children – we all know how it is to laugh because we so much enjoy expressing ourselves in the most simple and rudimentary ways – Desteni offers all that apply the tools presented the way back to the ability to laugh – too enjoy moments seemingly boring and uneventful – Desteni offers substance to fill the experience of emptiness we all carry inside ourselves – filling ourselves with ourselves – making ourselves to become substantial, practical, and physical beings.
Thus – I am the example that our childhood can’t be lost – it can only be forgotten – though it’s our responsibility to bring ourselves back to life – to end the existence of ourselves as lost in a mind – lost in thinking – lost in feeling – lost in perceiving – lost in believing – and first and foremost – lost in FEAR – though all of these mental delusions can be deleted – and what can be placed in it’s stead is actual self-experience, and actual self-expression – this is something that mustn’t be missed out on – though it’s up each and everyone – we all have free choice – we either birth ourselves yet again, or we remain stagnant until we finally run dry and die.
Life is waiting for you to take it upon yourself to bring yourself back from the dead – what are you waiting for?
Featured Art Work by Andrew Gable
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Artist Blog – http://andrewgableartist.wordpress.com/
Ann Van Den Broek
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