In the beginning as I started to walk process I couldn’t fathom or understand the statement “the world reflects you back to yourself” – or “the world is a mirror of yourself” – because from my perspective what I saw in this world was in no way me; I didn’t have any shit in me! If I was seeing someone that looked grumpy, and depressed – or fearful and nervous – I would be completely certain that what I was seeing was the other person, and not myself. And the same with actions that others took, if I would see someone that forgot to clean their dishes after themselves after they finished eating, I would become angry and think, “but how irresponsible and inconsiderate they are!” – never would I start to consider that what I was seeing was actually myself.
It was the same with how situations played in my world with other human beings – one situation might’ve played in such a way that the person I was participating with became angry and frustrated, started to scream and rant – I would in such a moment naturally think that this had nothing to do with me, this they were doing towards me! How I participated in that moment, within and without, that was in no way related to how this person was behaving now… obviously!
I am now glad to announce that the understanding of the above mentioned statements – “bring it back to self” – have dawned upon me, as I’ve through walking the agreement course been assisted to apply the practice of “bring it back to self”. So, let me explain how this functions and what this tool of “bring it back to self” entails.
In the agreement course, the first “truth” so to speak that’s underlined and learned, is that the functionality of all self’s agreements has it’s origin in the agreement self has with self – thus if self has a functioning, effective, and caring agreement with self – this is how self’s agreements with external points in this world will form – if self has stopped all conflicts within self – this is how self will participate, interact and experience others in his world – one and equal. Now – within this “truth” is implied that any bullshit self experience in his world is – all about self – it’s not about what’s out there, it’s not about fixing or changing anything else – but self – as all of self’s external reality is shaped, experienced and formed by how self interacts and stands in relation to reality, and this interaction is one and equal as how self interacts and stands in relation to self’s internal reality – as self = the self-agreement.
Following these principles is then in the course introduced and taught the importance of the practice of “bringing it back to self” – as this practice allows one to stop projecting, and looking outside of self for the problem, the issue, or the solution – too instead see and realize that what self is seeing to be existing out there, is in-fact existing within self.
As an example I will use how I’ve walked through points of being attracted to my partner due certain character traits my partner has – now what I realized that I was attracted to within my partner is her ability so share herself with her world confidently, and to interact with people that she haven’t met before, with no fear or anxiety – and so I was attracted to this point because I thought and believed that I couldn’t give this to myself, and that I required in order for me to experience this point, and have it my world, I needed to create it in my external reality – as then spending time together with my partner.
Though, through the application of “bring it back to self” – I realized and saw that this point of attraction that I experienced towards my partner wasn’t in-fact about my partner at all, it had nothing to do with how my partner expressed and experienced herself with other people – no – the attraction that I experienced was in-fact me showing to myself that – “hey! Here is a point that you’d like to live as yourself, that you aren’t yet allowing yourself to live! Saddle your horse and integrate that point as yourself! You know you want to!” – and so as I brought it all back to myself, this allowed for me to re-view my application and experience together with people, and within this I saw how I often feel shy, nervous, and uncomfortable to speak with people that I don’t yet know, or that doesn’t look like they would like to have anything to do with me – and from within me seeing that I wasn’t living as I’d like to live (being all shy and fearful) and experience myself with people, I was then able to apply and direct myself to become and manifest myself as that which I saw in my partner as what she was giving to herself and allowing herself to live – as accepting and allowing herself to be confident, and comfortable with herself speaking and being together with people she haven’t met before.
So – the point of bringing it back to self has really been an eye-opener, that have allowed me to effectively self-reflect and introspect – and apart from me applying this technique with what I’ve been attracted to within my partner, I’ve also applied it to what I’ve become angry and frustrated with in relation to what my partner is doing – as for example not emptying the bin – but instead “leaving it all up to me” – and within this I’ve seen that I am not in-fact frustrated with my partner, the frustration is really me being pissed of at myself – because as I’ve brought the point back to myself, I’ve been able to see that I’ve been living exactly the same behavior of sloppiness and carelessness that I saw in my partner, but in other parts of my world and in different ways. Thus I through bringing it back to myself effectively exposed to myself what I’ve in-fact been doing towards myself – this through having my partner function as a mirror to myself, and within this I opened up the opportunity for me to direct, learn and change myself, something that I obviously wouldn’t have ever done if I’d gone with my initial reaction as feeling that – “my partner is so sloppy! I got to tell her to stop this sloppiness, because obviously this not about me, I always empty the bin!”
Really – since I began to seriously apply this method of looking at my reality, the reactions, experiences, and thoughts that I have about others in my world have become my greatest source of information, and my greatest teacher, in terms of showing to myself how I am really living and existing – and how I could exist instead, if I’d allow myself to change. I could instead of being sloppy – take responsibility for myself and my world every time and every day – I could instead of being unconfident and afraid of other people – be confident and comfortable in my application with others – I could instead of isolating myself, and waiting for others to make contact with me – direct myself to interact with, and communicate with others, and within that accept and allow myself to have some fun – be daring – and explore the reality that is here; thus me bringing everything of my experiences of this reality back to myself has opened up a big treasure chest, filled with opportunities of self-change, and self-realization – that I am really grateful for finding!
So, for anyone else there that is struggling with his or her reality, feeling that “nothing is working out” – and “nobody is doing anything right” – my one and only suggestion is – bring it back to self! Hell – bring everything, each and every point back to yourself, and allow yourself to realize how little you really know about living, and first and foremost, about yourself!