Hiding – Part 2

Before reading this – read part 1 first.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the character/experience/possession of not wanting to be seen – existing within and as the physical behavior of avoiding eye contact with others – avoiding to be seen through pretending that I don’t see and notice others when they are in my presence – hoping that by doing so they won’t notice and see me; instead of accepting and allowing myself to come out from this shell I’ve created – understanding that this shell is completely unnecessary and doesn’t even protect me from anything – because even if I continue to hold unto this shell – it won’t stop me from being hit by a bus, or stabbed by someone – it’s simply a imaginary shell that serves no other purpose but to limit me and have me miss opportunities of getting to know/participating with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist/live within and as the character of not wanting to be seen – thinking that if I would be seen by somebody – that this would the expose me to their evil scrutiny – wherein they would take me apart inside their minds and find all my weak-spots and plot to use their powers to destroy me; instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that this is in-fact what I am doing towards myself – wherein I am looking at myself from a perspective of judging my apparent weak spots – giving all my focus at being angry/frustrated at myself for having these weak spots – spending all my effort/time to hide these weak spots – instead of accepting and allowing to simply let go of this fear – and see/realize/understand that even if I have a weak spot and someone mention this – or poke my weak spot – that this can’t affect and influence me unless I accept and allow it to do so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as petrification and fear of being seen by others – within the fear that if somebody sees me – they might see something wrong/incorrect with me and point this out to me; as such existing within complete fear and petrification towards being criticized by others and seen as wrong/incorrect by others; instead of seeing/realizing/understanding how ludicrous this fear is – and how stupid it is to fear being criticized by others – as I see/realize/understand that I might even benefit from the perspective/criticism that others have towards me and my behavior – and as such become even more effective and detailed within and as my physical living expression of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as fear/nervousness to be seen by others – fearing that there will be some weakness/fault within me that others will see and notice and mention – talk to me about – or ridicule me for having – instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that it’s not big deal to have a weakness and to be wrong – and it’s no big deal that other mentions or points this out – when I do have made something wrong, or I possess a certain weakness – but I’ve made it within myself to be this hugely important and all-encompassing point – that I must at all times present myself and show myself to be right; instead of accepting and allowing myself to chill out – to relax – and simply live here in this moment and if I fuck up – to deal with that fuck-up here physically through looking at what practical solutions I can walk to correct the point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand to the extent that I limit myself when I exist in the fear of being noticed; as I basically remove myself from participation – remove myself from reality and isolate myself as far away from everyone that I can get – as such living a life of seclusion wherein I never get to know anyone, and I never get to know myself with others – because I am all the time alone – all the time protecting myself from being seen by others; and within this I will/push myself to get out from this stupid character, and instead participate with others – get to know others – communicate and in-fact accept and allow myself to be seen – and to not worry about being seen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be seen by others – be heard by others – be noticed by others; and walk these points being completely comfortable with myself – knowing that there is nothing harmful in being seen/noticed/heard by others – and that there is nothing in-fact to fear – and that the fear only exists in my mind as a idea and belief – as such I will/push myself to become physical – within seeing/realizing/understand that there is absolutely no possibility that I will be able to be harmed physically through being seen/noticed/heard by others – it’s only an idea

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seclude and isolate myself from participation in reality – and to shut myself off from getting to know others, and from expanding in my reality through networking and opening up new points of relationships with others; because I exist/live in fear of being noticed/seen – thinking that I am worthless and if I am seen by others – that they will see/notice/judge this worthlessness within me – and openly criticize me for being worthless; instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that what I fear others doing to me – is what I am doing to myself – as accepting and allowing myself to be hard and brutal with myself – and to criticize myself for my weak-spots – and to in essence be an asshole towards myself when I notice that there are points in my application that aren’t effective – and that aren’t working as they should be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself out from this character – to see/realize/understand how much of life that I’ve missed through existing as this character – how many opportunities of participating/speaking/communicating with others that I’ve wasted through giving into the fear of being noticed/seen; as such I will/push myself to step out of this character and dare to be seen – dare to be heard – dare to be recognized – and dare to be different – and not anymore limit myself in living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to let go of this hiding personality – as not wanting to be seen; thinking that this personality is protecting me from harming, and protecting me from ending up in a “bad situation” – instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that I am not at all protected by this character/personality – I am instead limited, and held back – and in-fact regressing within myself due to missing points of participating/communication with others where I could’ve expanded and learned – and got to know more about myself and the functioning of this existence – as such I push/will myself to not anymore exist live as this fear of being seen – but instead express myself in moments where I see that I am holding myself back in the fear of being seen – and to share myself in moments when I see that I doubt sharing myself – because I fear to be seen

I commit myself to not anymore exist/live as the character of not wanting to be seen/noticed – but to instead push/will myself to be noticed/to be seen/to be heard – as I push/will myself to participate/interact/communicate – when the opportunity to do so opens up in my life

I commit myself to not pretend to not see others in my presence – in fear of being seen/noticed – but instead recognize the fact that others are in my presence – and to walk comfortably here with others – accepting and allowing myself to be seen/noticed/heard

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that this fear of being noticed does not protect me – and that it’s not a real shell – but only a mental shell as an idea and as such completely useless in all and everyway

I commit myself to not scrutinize myself in my minds eye – and look for faults within myself, and points of “badness” – and within this I commit myself to not project this point unto others; but to instead take self-responsibility for this point through stopping this character of scrutinizing myself when I see/notice that I am living this point as myself

I commit myself to not fear being criticized and/or seen as wrong/incorrect by others – but to instead view such moments as a opportunity for me to learn – because maybe another has a valid point as to how I’ve been doing wrong/incorrect; and within this I commit myself to not take myself so seriously, and to not be so hard upon myself when I fail/make mistakes/and fuck up – but to instead support myself to become more effective within not fucking-up – but instead living effectively here – as breath one and equal

I commit myself to when I am around others to – chill out and relax – and not take myself so seriously – but to simply be here with myself and express myself naturally – not worrying whether I might be wrong

I commit myself to not seclude myself, and hide myself away in the far-reaches of the universe where no-one can ever see or find me – but to instead accept and allow myself to push through my fears/anxieties and get out there in reality with other people – get out there and communicate/participate/interact – and be apart of the life’s of others

I commit myself to be seen/noticed/heard by others – and to not seclude/isolate myself in order to avoid being seen/heard/noticed

I commit myself to get out there in reality – and get to know others/participate with others/move myself in the system – in the matrix – and to forever stop this character of standing in the back – hoping that no-one will ever see me; because maybe then I will become criticized – I see/realize/understand how stupid this fear is – and as such I commit myself to forever ban it from my life

I commit myself to see/realize/understand how much I’ve missed of my life through existing as this character of not wanting to be seen – as I’ve deliberately avoided to create any close/intimate relationships with others – to communicate/interact/get to know others – simply because I’ve been afraid of being seen/noticed/heard – I stop this fear and seclusion – and I as such stop missing out on my life/opportunity to get to know others here

I commit myself to dare to be heard/seen/noticed/recognized

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that the fear of being seen doesn’t in anyway protect me – but only limits me and have me regress into a existence/life of seclusion/hiding; as such I stop myself from honoring and entertaining this fear within me and I instead develop self-trust – to be able to effectively analyze and distinguish situations that are in-fact dangerous without having to keep/entertain a fear of being seen/heard/noticed – and within this I see/realize/understand that a fear can’t assist/support me to understand the totality of a situation – and as such can’t protect me from harm in-fact – but only serves to keep me stuck in energies/experiences that aren’t even aligned to this physical reality

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3 thoughts on “Hiding – Part 2

  1. Pingback: Everybody Loves Me: DAY 79

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