Today I’ve faced some decisions in regards to buying new stuff – and this have been accompanied by some interesting reactions, which I took the time to investigate as I walked home from school – through applying self-forgiveness, and self-commitments out loud.
So – the point I’ve faced is to buy a new computer – I knew that my computer had to have certain system characteristics and that it would be quite expensive to buy – and this was due to what I was going to use the computer for. Within looking at the various models of computers that there were for me to choose between – I noticed that I had a tendency towards being attracted to the most expensive computer – because I thought that “this computer would be the best!”.
At the same time as I had this desire within me towards the most expensive computer – I also experienced a fear towards buying the most expensive computer because it would mean that I would “loose the most money” – and so in that conflicted experience – my attention began to wander to a less expensive computer. Yet – within looking at and considering buying the less expensive computer – another fear arose within me; “what if this computer isn’t good enough?” – and as such I was completely stuck in this back and forth game in my mind where particular fears, and desires was interlocked into a battle with each-other.
On top of this I experienced some guilt for considering to buy a new and expensive computer, and also some excitement towards the prospect of owning a brand new computer – so all in all – the event with buying a new computer can be summarized with the word: Mess!
As I walked home from my school I began looking at this point more intently – and I came to some realizations: the first point I saw was that I did trust these particular experiences to guide me through the process of buying a new computer – and I listened to, and considered these various experiences as they came up within me – believing that they somehow “knew what I needed” – the reality of the situation is that – these experiences that came up have nothing to do with making a effective purchase – as these experiences do not consist of empirical evidence and factual information – it’s only experiences coming up within me that do not have any relationship with reality in-fact.
Within this I saw that to make a effective decision in relation to buying a new computer – I’d to let go of my desire – and I’d to let go of my fears – because both of these points were literately non-sense – meaning that they had not contact, or relationship with actual physical reality.
I also saw the interesting point that – I’d not really and clearly defined what I was going to use my computer for – and thus exactly what the requirements for my computer had to be – so I was more buying the computer because I felt that I need it – not because I knew that – I will need my computer for these points specifically.
Thus – I applied self-forgiveness on these points – and made a commitment to myself to not react to these event of buying the computer – but instead consider cold and hard facts – that which is not debatable – that which is not a matter of opinion – but that which is the real situation that I am facing.
This assisted me a lot – and as I arrived home – I sat down by my computer and bought the new computers – I didn’t take the most expensive, or the cheapest – instead I took one that I was certain was going to suit my needs – and that wasn’t “too good” – and that wasn’t “too bad” – but simply in alignment with what I require to utilize my computer for.
The point I learned in this was that – even though the experiences that come up in my mind might feel real – and as if they do seem to be an important aspect to take into consideration in terms of making a decision – really – they are not – they are NOT physical – they are NOT practical – and obviously – I’ve not designed them – or created them – I got no clue where they come from – and thus it would be utter stupidity to blindly trust these points to create my reality for me.
Herein – what I am able to learn from this and take with me – is that when I experience any form of reaction in relation to making a decision – it’s supportive to first clear, and remove any reactions through utilizing self-forgiveness, and self-commitment statements – and then – correcting myself – and making a decision that is practical – and based upon cold and hard facts.