Day 56: Being Effective With Money

I’ve decided to take on a career opportunity in my world that is within the arena of sales, and within doing this I’ve noticed many fears come up I relation to money.

the-creation-of-money-prev1210277226g40efFI can see that I’ve been fearful around money during most of my life, and that this fear originates in essence in a belief I have of myself that I am simply not capable, or strong enough to walk in this world, and be able to handle myself. So, when I look at money, and the process of making money I experience a sense of helplessness and disbelief – like: “I will never be able to do this!” – “How could I possibly believe I am capable of this?” – so I want to give up before I’ve even tried – which obviously will have the consequence that I do not make any money, and that I do not make my career-path a success – I mean – without physical action, and physical movement there will be no rewards – because this very existence is based upon the accumulation of physical events.

So, it’s fascinating that I’ve simply aligned myself with this disbelief, and helplessness without ever having diligently walked the point of making money in my own business – I mean – it’s fascinating because how am I even able to know that I “can’t make it” when I do not have any reference – because I’ve never actually walked the point?

This shows me one thing – that this experience of disbelief, and helplessness is really only a self-manipulation tactic to cover up the real story – and what is then the real story? Well – as I see it – apparently being unable to move myself with money is the perfect excuse to simply not take any risks, not place myself out there, and not in-fact walk the opportunities that presents themselves here – thus it’s a way I use to not have to face reality, and to instead have myself live a comfortable life without any challenges, without any difficulties, without anything that I don’t understand, without having to learn anything new – I mean simply let myself live in this comfortable state of stagnation.

So, it’s like I’ve become addicted to stagnation, and a comfort-zone of having my life, my money, my employment, and just being satisfied with that – because then I know that I am apparently safe, and I won’t be at risk of getting into a position in this world of poverty, or having no money.

This is also interesting – that I fear poverty, and being without money, because it implies that I’ve in-fact separated myself from power, and self-movement, thinking that what drives my world is money – and when I have money everything will be okay – instead of realizing that it’s not that simple; I mean I can have all the money in the world yet this won’t mean that I am in-fact effective in my life, or that I walk in self-direction, and without fear – it just means that I have money, and that I am able to buy stuff with this money to make my life comfortable – yet it doesn’t say anything about my day-to-day living because that is obviously something I must within and as self-motivation, and self-will actually create for and as myself – and this will be so regardless of whether I have money or not.

Thus – I can see that I’ve defined money as my power, and my authority – and thus separated myself from these wordsthinking that as long as I have money “everything is okay” – instead of realizing that this is not the case – proven by the fact that there are lot’s of people that live in financial excess yet they have not done anything worthwhile with their life’s – proven by the fact that earth is still only a hellhole that most human beings would rather not have to experience at all.

Thus – time to take back my power, and authority – stop blaming, and shoving my responsibility towards myself, and this world unto money – and instead see that the point that is relevant to develop, and perfect is my relationship with myself.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money my god, and sort of expect that money is to come to me, and that money is to give me life, and that money is to give me power, and authority – and that within this I don’t have any power at all and what I can do is apparently only to stand by and watch as money gives me the ability to live, direct myself, and walk my life effectively within a principle that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate the expressions, and livings words of authority, and power through defining these words in relation to money – thinking and believing that I need money to stand within and as myself in a position of authority, and power – and that without money I am helpless – thinking that having no money for me is like giving superman some kryptonite so he looses all of his powers – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am able to develop myself into a state of effectiveness, and self-independence so that I am able to stand as authority, and as power – regardless of what points I face in my reality – regardless of whether I face poverty, or having no money – I still stand as the point of living here in each moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that money is my morphine, my heroine, my point of super-power-giver – thinking and believing that as long as I have money everything is okay – as long as I have money my life is perfect – as long as I have money I can simply relax and let the day’s pass, and let myself go into a comfortable numbness of not doing anything at all with my life – because apparently it’s all okay because I have money; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money more than what money is – and inflate money to be some sort of super-power that I am able to charge myself with to become a super-human-being – instead of realizing, and understanding that money is simply a physical manifestation in this world that allows me to survive – and that it doesn’t have anything to do with my acceptances, and allowances, and who I will myself to be as a living and breathing being here in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself to not have to in-fact do anything with my relationship towards money, and this world system, through thinking that I am helpless in relation to money, and experiencing within me a sense of disbelief – as thinking that – “I am not able to deal with money, and a career, and be successful anyway” – and as such I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that these experiences, and statements is merely a way for me to manipulate myself to not stand up in my relation to money – to stand one and equal to money – and direct money as myself – thus not feel or see myself as inferior to money – but instead learning, and educating myself how to effectively make money – and be stable, and proficient within making money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money, and to believe that money is in someway this unpredictable force that I don’t have any control over – and that in any moment is able to simply push me down into the abyss of poverty, and lack – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the nature of money is really quite simple – and that it’s based upon physical accumulation of events – and that I’ve in essence made money to be more than what it is so that I won’t have to deal with money, look at money, and learn to work with money effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that in order to be able to be successful in this world – I can’t in anyway let myself feel, or think myself to be inferior to money – and think that money is in someway this “market-force” that magically moves to me – but I must stand within the realization that money is a consequence of my daily-living application – and as such I am able to learn to direct money, and do so effectively in order to sustain myself in my world – and to be able to support myself in pushing myself to become more effective and stable in my movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I’ve a desire to stagnate, and to simply be satisfied with having a employment, a mediocre salary, a mediocre lifestyle – where I don’t have money – because I’ve defined money, and the point of making money to be superior to me – and as being something that I can’t understand, that I can’t get my head around – that is simply above me – and thus it’s best to simply accept myself to a stagnating position because that is safer; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not challenge myself to expand, and direct my relationship with money – and to understand that in order to in-fact accumulate a considerable amount of money in this world I require to stand equal to money – and understand the patterns of money – and to align myself within directing money effectively – and within this there can’t be any fear because then I will simply not see clearly the patterns that money move within and as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view, and define money as being something that gives me power, and authority – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any money in my life, in fearing that I will then “loose myself” – and I won’t be able to anymore be directive, authoritative, and assertive in my world – because I will have no power – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place money on a pedestal – and to believe that money is more than me – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am the point of direction in relation to money – and that it’s my decision whether I am to have money in my world or not, because I am able to educate, and learn the process of how money moves – and learn to direct this point effectively – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand one and equal with and as the manifestation of money – and stop fearing money – but to instead understand, and learn to direct, and move money within oneness and equality as breath here

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I look at money and view at as something more than me, that moves without my will, without my direction, and that it’s something that I simply can’t understand – then I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is me trying to manipulate myself into a state of inferiority – so that I won’t have to in-fact learn to direct money, understand money, and become proficient within the use, and accumulation of money in my world – as such I commit myself to stop fearing money, and instead educate myself as to the pattern of money, and learn how to accumulate, and direct money in such a way that is effective for me

When and as I see that I look at money and think that money is what gives me power, and authority – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that money is not what gives me authority, and power – because I am the point that gives me these words – and that thinking that money does this is simply a excuse to not develop, and create myself as these words – and to live as these words regardless of circumstances – as such I commit myself to stand up, and practice living power, and authority – and do so regardless of what circumstance I live within

I commit myself to live power as me practicing to be the directive principle within me, and within my world – not accepting and allowing myself to be moved by consequences but instead me moving me within oneness and equality as breath

I commit myself to practice living the point of authority – as me being the author of me – thus me deciding who I am – what I live – why I am – how I am – and not accepting and allowing money to be what decides this for me

When and as I see that I don’t want to develop a effective relationship with money because I feel that it’s comfortable to stagnate, and simply accept myself as being mediocre in relation to money – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that money is in a way one of the most important points for me to learn to direct effectively because it determines so much of how effective I am able to be in this life in terms of supporting myself, and having influence, and a impact in this world – as such I commit myself to get to learn, and understand how I am able to accumulate, direct, and move money within oneness and equality here – and thus stop being a slave to my fear and instead understand the manifestation of money as it currently exists within and as this world

When and as I see that I go into a experience of disbelief, and helplessness in relation to money – thinking that “I am not able to do this” – “I am not good with money anyway” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I mean obviously I am not effective with money because I’ve never given this point any attention in my life – all of my life has been about searching for positive energy and not in-fact developing myself to be able stand in this world effectively; as such I commit myself to push through this resistance and in-fact develop skills, and effectiveness with money – so that I am able to direct money and not be directed be events and feel lucky that I am able to have money in my world

When and as I see that I look at, and perceive money to be this godly, and unpredictable force that I simply can’t understand – because it’s apparently “so powerful” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is simply me trying to manipulate myself to not have to establish a effective, grounded, and stable relationship with money – where I direct money and not the other way around; as such I commit myself to push through my fears, resistances, and excuses – and to in-fact develop a effective relationship with money wherein I direct – and I am not directed by external events – because I move myself

When and as I see that I want to simply run away from money, and go into a secure life where I don’t have to challenge myself in relation to money, where I don’t have to feel exposed, and uncertain that I won’t have any money – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this type of living, and application is in-fact simply self-sabotage wherein I do not allow myself to expand myself because of fear – as such I commit myself to not let fear make decisions for me – but that I instead look at what is best for me – where I am able to expand myself – and then I move myself into that direction

When and as I see that I want to go into the desire, and manifest the desire of accepting my life to be mediocre, in that I accept that I have a small salary, and that I have my safe employment, and that nothing in my world is really a challenge, but only a point that I accept because I fear doing anything about it – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is me – simply sabotaging myself because I don’t allow me to see that I am capable of creating myself in such a way that I can effectively earn money, and create, and substantiate my life with a effective income – and that what stands in my way is in essence only myself – I mean – I am my worst enemy – as such I commit myself to stop thinking about how apparently hard, and difficult it is to learn to become effective with money – and instead simply do it – realizing that a thousand mile journey always begins with a single step

When and as I see that I feel that I don’t want to have anything to do with money, but instead focus on what makes me happy, and what makes me feel good – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that in order to be effective in this world I must focus on money – because money is such a all-influencing point that influence all human beings in all aspects of their life, and living – as such I commit myself to develop this relationship and realize that this is the key to freedom – and that happiness is only a form of isolation, and satisfaction in being jailed, and imprisoned in one’s own limitation – as such I commit myself to equalize myself with money – to push through my resistance and become effective with money

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