Day 69: Leave Me Alone!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, irritated, and frustrated when and as I feel that I am being disturbed, and that I am not anymore able to focus my attention on what it is that I am doing; within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others as disturbing, and look at others as being the cause of my experience – and to not look within me at what thoughts I am accepting and allowing, and how it is that I am participating in this moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated, annoyed, and frustrated when and as I spend much time together with other human beings, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disturbed, to feel that others are intruding, to feel that I can’t get my peace of mind, to feel that I am being compromised in my presence because others simply do not move, and express themselves as I want and desire them to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire that others are to express, move, and direct themselves in my environment so that I don’t hear them, so that I don’t see them, thinking that this is a solution so that I won’t anymore experience myself as angry, and frustrated; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is not a solution because I am not dealing with, and walking with the core point, and the core issue; which is that I am not being self-honest, and I am not pushing myself to walk through my mind and integrate, and align myself here fully and completely with and as the physical; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to walk through my irritations, and frustrations; too look specifically at what it is that triggers these points and then remove, and correct these through self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become annoyed, irritated and frustrated, when I am emerged in a particular activity, and then someone comes and calls for my attention; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am being disturbed and that I then have the right to become pissed off, and angry; because apparently this other person disturbed me, and this other person made it more difficult for me to focus, concentrate, and remain here with and as breath, and with and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think perceive, and believe that when I become angry because I feel disturbed, that this because of the point that I feel disturbed me, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s not about the point that I feel disturbed me, but that it’s about me and my relationship towards focus, and concentration, and towards immersing myself in particular activities; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I immerse myself into points in my world, to do so without remaining aware and present here – but instead loose myself walk the point energetically instead of remaining here as breath – relaxed, comfortable, and present

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed, irritated, and frustrated when and as I wake up in the morning, and hold unto the belief that this is because I don’t like to be disturbed in the morning, I like to have it be peaceful around me, and to feel like I am able to relax, and that there is no point in my environment that calls for me attention; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated, and annoyed when and as there is a point arising in my world that requires direction, instead of realizing that I am able to move, and direct myself in this world – yet still remain stable, present, and relaxed; and that it’s not about what I do – but who I am within and as what I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be left alone when and as I wake up, and to remain in my isolation, and not have to face anyone, or deal with anyone, and to think that “this is just the way I am” – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding, that this is a particular mind-system that is obviously completely limiting me; because in holding unto this point I am making each morning out to be this difficult, hard, and strenuous point, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am creating the point to be strenuous – I am making my morning difficult, I am making it though, and hard to be in my body; and as such I am able to assist and support myself to change my experience of myself in the morning so that I am not dependent upon energy to move and decide who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a different person in the morning than what I am during the rest of the day, and to feel that in the morning I must be left alone, and I must get my space, and I must able to do what I want to do, because apparently I need that to function properly, and to be able to make decisions, and move myself within and as this world; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise, and suppress myself as my natural expression – thinking, perceiving, and believing, that I need someone, or something else, to tell me who I am; such as energy – believing that I need energy to decide who I am in the morning; instead of accepting and allowing myself to stand up within and as myself – and decide to walk my mornings here in stability, as breath, and to not have to have a particular ritual in the morning for me to be stable and not become annoyed, irritated, and frustrated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remain the same person through-out my day; and thus when I wake up in the morning remain here within and as stability of breath, and walk with and as stability of breath – and to not make the morning a uncomfortable, and difficult experience that I must fight myself through; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to insist upon trying, and wanting to make the morning a hard experience, something difficult – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am able to decide that the morning is not to be hard, and difficult, and thus change my living expression of myself – and support myself to remain stable, effective, and here as I wake up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as anger, and frustration in the morning when I am facing other people, and feel that I am being pushed, and invaded, and that I am loosing my sense of self, and my privacy; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the character, and personality of being a loner, as thinking and believing that I can’t retain myself, and keep my stability, unless I am completely alone and isolated in my world, unless I don’t have any other relationship in my world but the one with myself; and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – that it’s not about what I do, or where I am; but who I am

When and as I see that I am going into anger, and frustration in the morning as I wake up, because I feel I have no privacy, and that I am not left alone as much as I desire and want; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here; and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t require and need to be isolated, and to be left alone, and to be alone in order to be stable, and effective, here, as I wake up in the morning – I just need ME and to make a decision as to WHO I AM; as such I commit myself to make the decision that I AM HERE as I wake up in the morning – and to simply apply myself within the same stability, and comfortableness that I walk throughout the rest of my day

When and as I see that I become angry, and frustrated because I feel that I am being disturbed, and uprooted from a particular project, or task that I’ve immersed myself into; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this point is obviously not supporting me – because in this reality I can’t expect to always be left alone, and thus becoming angry each time a event occurs that must be directed here, which means that I can’t remain immersed in a point, it’s not a very practical application to hold unto; as such I commit myself to breath – and to direct the situation that is here without becoming angry or frustrated – and within this allowing myself to immerse and get back out – within and as breath – effortlessly – here

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3 thoughts on “Day 69: Leave Me Alone!

  1. Pingback: Dag 284: Ont Om Tid | Viktor Persson

  2. Pingback: Day 71: Future Hopes and Fantasies | Viktor Persson

  3. Pingback: Day 73: The Most Angry Person Wins... | Viktor Persson

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