Day 71: Future Hopes and Fantasies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to imaginations, and to become addicted to future projections, and ideas, hopes, and desires about what I will do in the future, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loose my grounding, to loose my stability, and certainty here within and as breath, and instead become a mind-robot only following what comes up within me instead of directing myself in every moment back here to the physical, back to breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a fantasy liver, meaning that I believe that fantasizing about events, and thinking about what I want to happen is living, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that being caught in my mind, in pictures, and energies, that is not living, that is in-fact being a slave to the mind, wherein I don’t accept and allow myself to be effective, and self-motivated, and self-directed here in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted, and lost within and as the point of thinking about my future, instead of accepting and allowing myself to not think, but to remain and live here; and within this I see, realize, and understand that the consequence of thinking about my future is that I don’t accept and allow myself to live HERE – to live in the physical – to see what is here as various opportunities, as various points to discover, walk, and explore, and perfect; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remain and walk HERE and to stop myself from participating in my mind as fantasizing about the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lost within and as the mind as thinking about the future, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the images, and the movies, and the experiences that comes up in my mind, that they are real, that they are relevant, and that they are more important than my day-to-day physical living here; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the primary point of importance is HERE – because HERE is the only place in existence wherein I have directive power, wherein I have directive strength to in-fact be able to change my world and reality, and myself; and as such I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that by participating in fantasies I am giving power away to the mind, as my power to direct myself and be effective in every moment of breath HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as a state of possession as being obsessed with my future, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create imbalances in my life, wherein my future becomes everything and my present, here, becomes just something annoying that I have to walk through, but that I don’t really want to walk through, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to remain here within and as breath, and walk within and as the physical, and to realize that HERE is not annoying, because here is my only access point into reality, and thus it’s of primary importance that I master this HERE point – and that I will myself to be HERE because only in this moment – in this breath – am I able to make a directive decision as to who I am, and how I will walk, and experience myself in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the future is the accumulated outflow of who I am in every moment of breath, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take every moment of breath for granted, and to believe that my future will turn out as I think; not realizing that thinking is limited, and that the only way I am able to walk into, and create a trustworthy future is through being effective, and disciplined in every moment of breath – and to walk HERE; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and to accept and allow myself to walk within and as self-discipline, and self-motivation to be here in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that unless I apply myself every day, and unless I walk disciplined, and motivated every and each day to stop the mind, to bring myself back here, and to in-fact change – nothing will happen; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not discipline myself to make sure that there is no day that I just “let go” and allow process to rest – and instead I push myself to make each day a full and complete day wherein I contribute, and walk to my fullest, and wherein I do not accept and allow myself to make and create any day to be a waiting day – but instead make each day a living and practical movement day – wherein I do not postpone – but I instead push myself to act, to move myself, to direct myself, and to walk process here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that each day I accept and allow myself to wait, is a day that I simply throw away, and is a day that I spend in hope that everything will sort itself out by itself; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of all hope, and to see, realize, and understand that there is no hope and that I am only able to rely upon my own effectiveness, upon my own discipline, upon my own directiveness, upon my own motivation, and discipline – and that hope is this disease – thinking that everything will be okay if I just sit and wait, and sit and look at things as they happen instead of realizing that nothing will happen unless I move and direct myself to make things happen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself with the point of making things happen, and realizing that I will have to stand as this point in my world of making things happen – and that nothing is going to happen by itself but that I will have to in-fact push, and direct myself, to walk the points into creation that I want to see manifest, and that within this I will experience resistance, and discomfort, but that I will have to push through, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself, and embrace resistance, and discomfort, and walk with these points as points of reference, realizing that when I am pushing through my pre-programmed limitations I will experience resistance, and discomfort

When and as I see that I am going into my mind, and becoming stuck, and stagnant in fantasies, and imaginations, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I realize that these pictures, energies, and experiences in my mind aren’t real – they aren’t life – they aren’t living – and that what is life, what is living, what is in-fact of worth – is me standing and walking HERE in breath and directing myself in every moment and not accepting and allowing myself to be a slave to my mind; as such I commit myself to state when these fantasies, and imaginations come up within me that: I AM HERE – I live to my fullest here, and I live completely here, thus I don’t require a fantasy, or imagination to feel whole, because I am wholly here – and I breathe here

When and as I see that I go into and as a state of waiting, and hoping that things in my world will miraculously change without any directive principle, any directive movement, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is not the case; and that things will not just happen – but I must push, direct, and will myself to make things happen – and that hope within this is useless; and that if I want to have a change – I must stand and walk this change completely, fully, and not fluctuate, or hesitate – but to make each day to be a change-day; thus I commit myself to not take any day for granted – but to make it count – and to make my life something of excellency, and greatness – through living each day, each moment, each breath fully and completely – through allowing myself to be fully present here – and be a active participant in my reality as a catalyst of movement from within and as the principle of what is best for all

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3 thoughts on “Day 71: Future Hopes and Fantasies

  1. Pingback: Day 74: The Dangerous Future | Viktor Persson

  2. Pingback: Understanding Our Obsession with Being Beautiful and Attractive: DAY 243 | Anna's Journey to Life

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