Day 73: The Most Angry Person Wins…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally, and react in feeling hurt, and becoming angry, when and as I perceive that someone else is angry at me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as a state of competition, wherein I am trying to compete with another, to show them that I will not loose in a “anger-fight” but that I will step back up and show how discontent and frustrated I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another when perceive a situation as me unfairly having been attacked, and judged for doing something that I didn’t really do, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what others say, do, and express personally, and to think and believe that it’s a personal attack towards me, and that because of that I am defined by this personal attack, and thus I must move myself to defend and protect myself; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how in-fact nothing is personal, and that what I experience as personal is in-fact my own creations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that when another becomes frustrated at me, raises their voice, or looks in someway threatening, that this then means that I am loosing; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that I require to get on top again, and that I must get on top again through becoming angry back at them, thinking and believing that unless I apply this approach I am going to loose myself, and become inferior to this other person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in constant state of input and output in relation to my environment, wherein I express myself according to the input my environment gives me, instead of me standing self-directed, and self-motivated here, and not accepting and allowing myself to become a robot that reacts, but that I instead move and participate from within and as principles, and that my movement in reality is not limited, or contained to what I believe, and think that others experience in relation to me, but that my movement, and application is self-directed, and self-motivated, and that I am not limited in anyway – because I decide who I am – I decide how I experience myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another when I feel and experience myself as having been hurt, and having been unfairly treated, and within that go into anger to in a way “get back at them” – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate the origin point of my reaction, as that experience of feeling hurt, to look at what it really is that happens within me, and why it is that I go into a state of hurt; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand, that in blaming others, and thinking that others are at fault for my experience of myself, I am in-fact limiting myself, and making it impossible for myself to change myself, because I am waiting on others to change, before I change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to be self-directed and self-motivated in my change, and in my direction of and as myself as change, wherein I don’t wait for others to be different, and I don’t wait for others to become and be “nice” towards me – but that I instead move, and apply myself here as breath, and walk myself into and as self-correction, and self-change – regardless of whether other changes or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect to the sound, as a voice slightly shaken with the energy of anger, a belief, that when I hear this voice I am attacked personally, and that I must experience myself as being hurt, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here to the physical – and to understand that a voice, slightly shaken with anger, is just a voice and have no factual implication for me as to how I must experience myself, but it’s in actuality only sound; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, and to not take this sound, and this voice personally, but instead remain here with and as my human physical body, with and as breath, here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by anger when I feel that I’ve been wronged, and that another have not considered me through being nice and pleasant, and easy-going – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take others personally, and to believe that my experience is connected to another, instead of realizing that my anger experience is something that I generate through backchat, is something that I generate through thought, and is in-fact something that wouldn’t exist, unless I’d actively participated within and as the point, and created the point through my own movement within my mind; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not STOP – take a breath – and bring myself back here to the physical and to see, realize, and understand – that only the physical is needed and that the mind is not required for me to live and express here – I only require my breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that in living completely physically here – there is no anger, and there is no fear – because there is no mind – there is simply situations, and moments opening up here that I require to direct, and that I require to walk through and bring to a point of conclusion – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice this point of living breath, of simply not in anyway paying attention to the mind, and allowing myself to live by thoughts, and reactions coming up within my mind, but instead breathing, bringing myself back here, and living with and as the physical, with and as my human physical body here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another, and hold unto blame, as anger, when I feel that I’ve been unjustly attacked, and that another have not considered me as I’d like to be considered, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that there is nothing at fault with the other person, but that the fault is within and as me, and how I’ve interpreted the situation through the mind, through energy, wherein I’ve taken another’s words, and behavior personally, defined myself according to another’s words and behavior – instead of living and moving myself practically in every moment of breath – here – in oneness and equality

When and as I see that I take another’s words or behavior personally, and I start to blame, and become angry, because I feel that I’ve been unjustly treated – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that what I experience is not about the other, it’s about who I am, and what I accept and allow within and as me as thoughts, and backchat, and that stability, and silence is a possibility for me to achieve here, but that I require to in-fact walk it into physical equality and oneness and in-fact make it real on a physical level – which will require discipline and complete dedication here in every moment of breath; I commit myself to bring everything back to myself and to walk in complete dedication, and discipline with and as the point of remaining here as breath

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2 thoughts on “Day 73: The Most Angry Person Wins…

  1. Pingback: Day 76: Determine Me Please | Viktor Persson

  2. Pingback: Day 85: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall | Viktor Persson

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