Day 78: You Know I Am Right, Right?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to be right, and wanting to seem like I am right, and wanting to present myself as if I am right, in order to feel good about myself, and in order to be able to define, and see myself as special; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as a desire to stand out and to be remarkable in comparison with others, so that I am able to think about myself in my mind that I am remarkable, and that I am more than others

keep-calm-you-know-i-am-rightI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow myself to participate in discussions, and communication with others from within and as a starting point of wanting to win, and wanting to prove myself as being remarkable, and being more than others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I am walking, and participating from within and as a starting point of wanting to become more than, I am in-fact accepting and allowing myself to by implication say that I am less than others, and that I require and need another to affirm me that I am good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as a desire, and a need to get approval from others, and to be noticed by others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, take myself back here, and realize that this search for approval is completely non-sensical – it’s completely stupid – because I am accepting and allowing myself to squander my moments of breath, and my moments of participation here, in being caught in this experience of wanting to become, instead of simply being, and living here, and realizing that I don’t have prove to anyone that I am here – because I am already here within and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as the desire of wanting to be a star, and be noticed as a intelligent, and insightful, and as having the perfect perspective, the perfect knowledge, the perfect understanding – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine, and to think about, and fantasize about what others might think about me, and how others might see me, and how others might consider and define me; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself, and not accept and allow myself to be naturally comfortable with myself – and to be authentic within and as my expression, and direction because I want and desire to get something out of life that is more than me being here and living, and participating here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to become a super-achiever, and to be noticed by others as being a great achiever, as being more than, completely unbeatable, completely unstoppable, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live for the cause of evolving myself, and becoming more than, and improving myself, so that I can feel superior, and better than others, instead of accepting and allowing myself to live HERE within and as breath, and to participate not from a starting point of evolving myself as energy, but instead develop my ability to interact, and live, and participate here without being possessed and controlled by and through thoughts, and feelings, and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to gain recognition as being insightful, knowledgeable, and intelligent; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise, and suppress myself as my natural movement, and my natural communication, and my natural discussion here, through wanting and desiring to be something to others – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, and bring myself back here – and within this see, realize, and understand that I do not require, and need to be approved, and to gain recognition – I mean: why do I even believe that I would gain some type of satisfaction with actually reaching a state of recognition? There is nothing saying that I would – as such I commit myself to instead find recognition in me learning to recognize what is real and what isn’t – what is physical practical actuality and what is simply irrelevant

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest with myself in establishing when and as I am participating in a discussion from within and as a energy of competition as wanting to prove myself, wherein I want and desire to make an impact in order to feel a particular way about myself, and in order to define myself as being more than others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this particular way of being is something that I’ve created because I in-fact feel insecure, and afraid of being rejected, and disposed by others; as I commit myself to stop relying upon others to stabilize myself – but that instead stand up and walk stability unconditionally here within and as breath – through not accepting and allowing myself to give into emotions, and feelings, but that I instead walk here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I have discussions with another, wherein I am not clear, and I do not specifically know what I am doing, and why I am doing it, then this suggests that I am participating from within and as ego, as wanting to create an experience for myself – because common sense dictates that if I am not creating a practical solution, what is it then that I am looking to create? energy possibly? As such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here, and deliberately stop myself from communicating when I see that my starting point is energy and not working towards a solution that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become stuck in competition, in believing that my sense of worth is based upon whether others agree with me, or not, and that my self-direction, and self-application is based upon whether others agree with me, or not – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my time searching for others to recognize me, and agree with me, thinking, and believing that this will stabilize me, and that this will develop a certainty within me, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding it’s a completely illusory idea that I will be able to gain something from another; it’s just energy that I experience and it holds not actual substantial worth, and value, because energy will simply go away after a while and then I am here as I was before

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is so, because it feels so, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow feelings to be my guide in life – and to believe that when it feels right, then it must be right; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that obviously it doesn’t have to be that way – that when it feels right, then it must be right – simply because feelings are not aligned with practical physical reality – feelings just come up in a moment – how can I then trust them to actually guide me through life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice walking as my own guide, and practice utilizing common sense when I make decisions, and practice utilizing mathematical assessments when I make decisions, and not just make decisions upon the basis that “I feel like it” – I mean – how can I trust such a point that “I feel like it” – it makes absolutely no sense at all; I mean this is how murderers, and pedophiles think – that apparently because I feel like it – it’s okay, and it’s the right thing to do – not seeing the obvious common sense that a feeling, or a emotion does not show me what is real – what is actual practical reality – it’s just a feeling, and it’s just emotion – and I give value and meaning to these points

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and let go of competition, and wanting to be someone for another, and realize that in me letting go of this point, I will be able to interact with others in a much more free, and effortless manner, because I will not hold unto a point of self-interest that I am defending and wanting to bring through – I will instead be here, with and as my physical, and I am in the situation, but there is no desire, nothing I need to protect, but that I am instead able to speak, and communicate and direct the points towards a solution – and not being possessed with wanting things to go my way, and wanting my opinion to win, and wanting my idea to be recognized

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that being empty when communicating, and having no sides to protect, that is the only starting point from within which I’ll be able to be effective, and take into account what is here – and direct what is here towards a solution that is best for all; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice letting go of all desires to achieve as I communicate, and practice communicating HERE with no secret, and hidden agenda, but that I merely speak here – and share myself here – with nothing to hide, and nothing to defend

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, and resist letting go of my secret agendas, in the belief that I will loose value, and be able to be “toyed with” when I let go of my secret world that I want to promote and get recognized with others – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that my secret world is simply not relevant – because it’s not even real – because it’s only a mental experience and have no physical practical relevance – as such I commit myself to take a breath and work with what is real and what has real positive impact – which is the point of practical solutions

When and as I see that I go into ego, wanting to be recognized, acknowledged, and seen as I speak, and communicate – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am in this moment accepting and allowing myself to squander a moment of full living through being possessed within and as a one dimensional perspective as a energy of wanting to be recognized, instead of participating here without a desire – without a agenda – simply interacting, moving, and directing myself HERE and not wanting to achieve any form of particular outcome; as such I commit myself to interact, communicate, and be with others unconditionally here – and not have a secret agenda to further my interests when and as I am speaking, and sharing myself with others

When and as I see that I am going into and as a state of feeling that I must convince another to take on my perspective, and think like me, and that I need my opinion to win – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am in this moment suppressing, and limiting myself – placing myself in a one dimensional energy domain in my mind wherein I want to be something unto others instead of me living and participating HERE within and as breath – being effective – specific and disciplined here – and not having a mind experience that I feel I must shove unto others; as such I commit myself to bring myself back here and to walk and participate unconditionally – without a agenda – and to instead share myself here within and as breath as life as oneness and equality here

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One thought on “Day 78: You Know I Am Right, Right?

  1. Pingback: Understanding Our Obsession with Being Beautiful and Attractive: DAY 243 | Anna's Journey to Life

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