Day 85: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Lately I’ve been having some very specific reactions of anger in relation to certain peoples in my world. Thus, here in this blog I am going to investigate this reaction, to see how it is that I’ve created this reaction within me, and to also let it go through applying self-forgiveness, and committing myself to not anymore re-create this particular point.

Let’s get into it: the context of this reaction is that a particular person in my world, and here understand that it’s irrelevant who this person is, because it’s not about that other person, the reaction is a outflow consequence of my relationship with myself – thus the focus is me and not the other person – let’s continue: this particular person in my world acts in a way that I perceive as being disrespectful, inconsiderate, and laconic – I perceive that this person is getting a free ride on work that I am doing, when he/she is well enough capable of putting down his weight behind the carriage as well.

The primary point of the reaction is that I feel I am doing more, I am giving it my all, I am pushing the point, but this other person doesn’t.

Then comes the question, why does this make me angry, and frustrated? Is it possibly as such that I am doing exactly the same as what I perceive this person to be doing? Is it possibly as such that I am doing the least possible amount of work in certain areas of my life, just the same as what I perceive this other person to be doing?

In relation to my writings I’d like to, before I continue, interject a small notification here in relation to how I am writing out this point, observe how I am utilizing the word “perceive” when I describe what I feel in relation to this other person. This is a very specific choice of words, because within this I am in-fact making the statement that I actually don’t know what the other person is doing, and that it’s really not relevant, because what is relevant is my relationship with myself, and the reaction that is coming up within me, thus I use the word “perceive” the assist and support myself to bring back the point to myself, and make sure there is no room for blame that can rob me of my moment of transcendence.

Thus, continuing – now the cool part about life, living, and how I experience myself within that, is that EVERYTHING is a mirror reflection of myself; thus when I experience any form of reaction towards any point in this world, this ALWAYS says something about my relationship with myself. In regards to anger, the specific point that such a reaction usually tends to mirror, is that I am doing something that I don’t want to admit that I am doing, and then I am pushing this unto another so that I won’t have to deal with it.

The pertinent question is thus, am I laconic somewhere in my world? Do I give the least amount of effort somewhere in my world? Do I enjoy a free ride on others somewhere in my world? Here I am able to see that, yes, I’ve accepted and allowed myself to do this in regards to certain work-responsibilities, wherein I’ve known that I require to give more effort, time, and participate more with my work to get the results I want, but I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to do so, because I’ve rather valued entertainment, and my hobbies as being more important.

The solution is thus to correct this particular point within me, to learn to prioritize, and to make room for my hobbies, and some entertainment each day, yet not accept and allow this point to be walked at the expense of my commitments, and my responsibilities, that obviously must come first, because they are important, have a real factual impact not only in my life, but in the life’s of others, and thus it’s important that I walk such points to the fullest of my abilities, and not accept and allow myself to compromise such points, because I am not prioritizing my time effectively.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply the simple point of walking my commitments and responsibilities first, and then when I am done with these, accepting and allowing myself to enjoy entertainment, and my hobbies, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest, and self-disciplined in terms of prioritizing my time, wherein I’ve accepted and allowed myself to compromise my responsibilities, and my commitments in order to get to walk my interests, and my hobbies, and to feel, and become entertained, and within that missing the important point, that my responsibilities, and commitments obviously come before me feeling entertained, and me being able to dive into my hobbies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest in prioritizing my time during my day according to my commitments, and responsibilities, to as such make sure that I am not creating any form of consequence in my world, through not pushing myself to remain self-honest, and walk with, and work with that which is in-fact important; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand, that the slight guilt, and discomfort that I’ve experienced, as I’ve allowed myself to immerse myself into and as my hobbies, and interest, that this experience is specific, and is in-fact a signal to myself that I am not effectively prioritizing my time, but instead giving into my desires, and wants, instead of looking what is required to be done and acting accordingly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am really very aware within myself of when I am compromising my responsibilities, and commitments, but that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to recognize, and understand the fact that I am aware, and that this awareness of what I am doing takes form in a experience of discomfort, and guilt; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to stand, and walk in and as self-honesty in regards to my commitments, and my responsibilities in life, and as such make sure that I am first tending to points that must be walked, that must be finished, to must be taken into and as a practical solution, and then when I am doing with such points, I walk what I desire, what I want, such as my hobbies and interests; and within this I see, realize, and understand that this is the only way to walk my life that will not produce aversive consequences for myself, or anyone else in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I can’t run away from myself, and that there is in-fact such a thing as integrity, and that I know when I do not stand equal to integrity within myself, and I know when I do not act, and I do not live, and I do not make decisions in consideration of what is best for all, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here – and push myself to align myself with and as integrity in every moment of breath, wherein a part of this would be that I prioritize my time according to what must be done, and is required to be done, and not according to what I feel like doing, what I desire to do, and what I experience would be the most fulfilling to do – but that I instead look at my world, and my reality practically, and accordingly make a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that there is no such thing as being able to go against what I know is best for all without consequence, I mean the consequence is always accumulating and the proof of this is that I become angry and frustrated when and as I do not act, and walk within and as what I know is best for all, and what I know is support, and assisting, for not only myself, but my world as a whole; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself within and as the principle of life, as giving as I’d like to receive, and walking this through amongst other things, prioritizing my time – and making sure that I first get to walk my commitments, and my responsibilities, and when I am done with these, that I then accept and allow myself to get into that which I find enjoyable as my hobbies, and interests

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that all it takes for me to change this point, is that I change my perspective on living, and that I instead of just looking at my feelings as I make decisions, look at the practical outflows of the decisions; and within this it’s obvious common sense that the practical outflow of not accepting and allowing myself to stick with, and walk with my commitments, and my responsibilities, is that I am going to compromise my commitments, and responsibilities, and that I won’t be able to get the results that I want to have, and that I see is best for me, as well as best for my world as a whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contaminate my decision making skills, and abilities, through accepting and allowing myself to look at decisions, to look at my commitments, and my responsibilities, and the time I’ve through-out my day, through and as energy, as experience, instead of looking at what is practical, what is required to be done, what must be done, and how I am able to walk this particular point in a way that will be assisting, and supporting for all, and that will bring through this point of growth in my world, not only for me, but for all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the simplicity of changing this point, and that it’s all about making a decision, that I will simply not do that which I desire, want, and like to do first, but that I will do that which is required to be done, which is needed to be done, which is a practical responsibility that can’t be pushed away, first – and then when I am doing with that – I will accept and allow myself to give myself some time to do what I enjoy as my interests and hobbies; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice structuring my time, structuring my day, and making sure that I walk my day physically, practically, here, and not through experience

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into a desire, of wanting to do what I enjoy, like, and find pleasure in doing, even though I have responsibilities, and commitments are still required to be walked, and sorted out; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am compromising myself, and my relationship with myself, when I don’t stick to walking, and push my commitments, and responsibilities, as the points that must be walked, before I allow myself to take time to immerse myself into interests, and hobbies; as such I commit myself to make the simple decision to not follow this desire, and this energy – but instead first do what I require to do, what must be done – as my commitments, and my responsibilities, and when I am doing with that – to then do that which I like to do, and that which I have as a hobby; thus first – responsibility – then play and games

When and as I see that I am becoming angry, and frustrated at others for feeling that they are not taking care, and handling their responsibilities effectively, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is me reflecting me back to myself, and that I am really seeing myself, and that thus I require to look into my world, and see how it is that I am doing the same, compromising my responsibilities, and commitments, in favor of experience; as such I commit myself to bring myself back here – and to change myself, and walk my responsibilities, and commitments first – to get these done – and then walk what I’d like to do

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Day 85: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

  1. Pingback: Dag 297: Fulländad och Glad | Viktor Persson

  2. Pingback: Why We Judge and Despise People as being Ugly: DAY 246 | Anna's Journey to Life

  3. Pingback: Consequences of a Negative Relationship to the Word 'Discipline': DAY 448 | Anna's Journey to Life

  4. Pingback: Day 115: No More Excuses | Viktor Persson

  5. Pingback: Day 123: Seeking a Career – What Are The Effects? | Viktor Persson

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s