Day 92: Security and Safety

There is a belief existent within me that apparently there is some form of security and safety to reach and get to, somewhere out there, in the unforeseeable and vast future. I’ve seen that this safety and security is very closely in relationship to money – so I’ve in essence equated safety and security as equal to having money, having a employment, and having this type of steady life; having a car, having a house, having the daily routine – this is what I’ve defined to be safety and security.

It’s interesting when I look a bit closer at this idea, because is it really security and safety that this idea represents? I mean, is there even such a thing in this world that can be called security and safety? I would say that my belief of safety and security is in relationship to predictability, and I’ve then defined having a predictable and repetitive life as being safe and secure, because apparently I am in control, apparently I know what’s going to happen and what is not going to happen, because I am in this life that repeats the same patterns endlessly – but am I really in control?

No – control is really a illusion in this world, as well as predictability, and accordingly also safety and security – because really I can’t know what is going to happen in the next breath, I can’t know what is going to happen a year from now, I can’t know really – anything – I am able to predict what will happen but this doesn’t mean that in fact will happen.

This proves how limited the belief of safety and security is, how it’s really nothing but a filter that I place before my eyes to feel better about myself and my life, and that it has nothing to do with actual living and actual decision making – it’s just a nice feeling that I attempt to create.

The solution to this point is to give up safety and security and instead trust myself, and use such practical points as common sense, and mathematics, to equate my reality and to move myself on a breath per breath basis – to make plans for the future that are practical in order to make sure that I can sustain myself in this world, as well as walk points into creation – but not to attain this illusory experience of safety and security – it’s simply not real in anyway what-so-ever.

It’s obvious, that even though people attain the most magnificent material life’s, they really have no control at all over their future or their life’s – in this world such control is impossible and the solution is thus to learn to live in every moment, in every breath, and make decisions according to what is HERE – because that I do know – that I am able to see – that I do in a way have control over because I can directly impact on my life and reality HERE in this breath.

The solution is thus to give up what I think and feel about my life, and get down to what in-fact is my life – which is my physical breath here in every moment.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as safety and security to attain somewhere in the future, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed, and loose myself in a state of fear, as believing that I’ve not yet attained this security and safety, and thus I can’t yet relax, and I can’t yet let go, and I can’t yet accept and allow myself to live my life; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here into and as my human physical body – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not participate and live HERE and give up the idea of control, the idea of security and the idea of safety, and realize that only thing I am able to trust in-fact is this very moment here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for a distant future wherein I feel safe and secure, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I just need to acquire sufficient amount of money, and sufficient amount of material possessions in order to get to that future state of feeling safe, and secure – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here, and to see, realize, and understand that this idea of safety, and this idea of security that I’ve projected into the future – it’s not in-fact real – because the fact that I have money – the fact that I have material possessions – doesn’t in-fact make me secure and safe in this world; and really – one could ask whether it’s possible for safety and security to at all exist in this world at the moment considering the dire state that the world is in as a whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that safety and security, that feeling comfortable and feeling positively charged and protected – that this is a illusionary experience based upon how one utilize an idea of money in order to create a feeling experience of positivity, and within this I see, realize, and understand that whether or whether not I feel positive about something doesn’t in-fact make any difference as to my physical real reality here – and thus me feeling safe, and feeling protected, and feeling secure will not in-fact make me safe, protected and secure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mix up my feelings about something, with the actual real reality of something – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for, and desire to experience security and safety – believing that if I attain this experience within myself then my life will be sorted out, and then I will have everything in my life open up for me – everything will be cool – everything will be directed – everything will be secured – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is now how this world works – that in this world really, there exist no safety and security anymore – and that what I must do is to let go of any hope or desire to be able to be safe and secure in this world – as that will only come to fruition in creating a new world economic system that is based on actual care and gives actual protection as support to all it’s citizens

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that there is such a thing as safety, security, and fulfillment and that this can be found in money, in success, and in career – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this world can’t provide for me that which I seek – and that accordingly I must create myself as those words I seek to achieve, and take part of, and become equal to in my external life, as an expression of and as myself in each and every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live fulfillment, security, and safety as myself – as being stable, as being here fully and completely – wherein I in each and every moment allow myself through breathing and bringing myself back here into and as my human physical body – to stabilize myself in this physical moment here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the dreams I have in my mind in relation to my future – in relation to becoming something or someone, and being something or someone in the system, as being important, being recognized, and being special – that these points aren’t in-fact real – but part of a illusion that I’ve created for myself in believing that money and status can bring me any form of fulfillment and stability; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about myself here – to not realize, see and understand that actual stability, actual fulfillment, and actual security is something that I must develop and create as myself and is not something that I will be able to find out there somewhere

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my life towards searching for and trying to acquire and reach something out there instead of accepting and allowing myself to develop and get to know myself here – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fool myself into believing that my life will only begin when the dreams and fantasies that come up in my mind have been fulfilled; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my life trying to fulfill my mind instead of me focusing on me living fulfillment here as myself – me living security and stability here as myself – me creating myself as living words to stand real and substantial in every moment and not anymore be a slave to experiences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that in this system, in this world, I do not have to achieve anything in order to accept myself, in order to be stable and sound – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to torture myself, and abandon myself in order to attempt to become someone for something out there, instead of me creating myself here – and asking myself in each and every moment – who am I here? What is that I would in-fact want to do with myself here? What is it that I am able to do with myself here? And as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind drive me in my life instead of me driving and motivating myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I’ve created a idea in my mind of how to live fulfillment, and how to live stability and security, and I’ve defined these points as being in relationship to possessions and material things – instead of seeing, realizing, and understand that real living is not about what I own, or what type of position I have in the system – but it’s about WHO I AM – and HOW I LIVE in each and every moment of breath – and who I accept and allow myself to be

Self-commitment

I commit myself to walk in this system but not be of this system, and within this I commit myself to live fulfillment, stability, and security as myself as living words in every moment of breath and stop attempting and trying to achieve and get to these points through reaching some type of ideal fantasy and dream state in some far away future – and thus I commit myself to live here – to create my life here in every moment of breath

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