Day 101: One Day Before Exams

Tomorrow I have my exams. I’ve prepared myself with discipline and diligence and I do see that I am well prepared to take the exam – still there is nervousness and anxiety within me. Thus, I will in this blog clear out any such compromising experience so that I am able to walk and take my exams tomorrow within stability and self-presence here as breath – realizing that the results on my test does not define who I am, because I decide and define who I am practically in every moment of breath through what I will accept and allow and what I will not accept and allow.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts that are of that nature “what if” wherein I look at my future, I look at my exam, I look at future potentials from a starting of fear, as “what if” I don’t make it, “what if” I fail, “what if” I will not get the best mark, “what if” – what will happen? As such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body and give myself a break – realizing that it doesn’t in anyway assist and support me to worry, and go into nervousness – the mind and it’s energies has no practical function but to take me into and as a experience and separate myself from this physical practical moment here – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according fear instead of in every moment standing stable here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that going into the mind, and becoming possessed with fear in the mind has no practical function or meaning, it will not change anything, if anything it will only make me less effective at recalling and regurgitating information, because I am to worried about the results, thus not effectively accepting and allowing myself to walk HERE – thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, realize that the mind isn’t support me in terms of the fear and nervousness I experience – that these experiences are in no way practical – they are only experiences – and thus won’t assist me to walk through the practical challenge than an exam in-fact represents

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I mean, looking at the situation from a physical and practical perspective, there is absolutely nothing I have to fear or be nervous about, because I have prepared myself, I have done and put in the necessary effort and work, and thus all I have to do now is simply to walk the point, to walk the exam, to walk into the unknown and trust myself that I will be able to walk it through effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overly concerned and possessed with “the results” – with “the outflow” wherein I start thinking more about what might, or might not happen, instead of me in every moment breath being HERE and walking this moment HERE – making decisions HERE upon the basis of what is here not existing in my mind trying to prevent my fears from taking place through fearing what I fear – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is a completely detrimental and irrational way of dealing with things – wherein I am going into experience, thinking that this will assist me in walking my real life, not realizing that experience have nothing to do with walking my life practically, physically and effective here – because such a point is a physical point – and thus something that I can walk without experience as I do in-fact only need myself here, my body and practically in common sense seeing what must be done and then doing it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to be here with my physical body regardless of what challenges I am walking through, realizing and understanding that no matter what, I am here – regardless of what I face, regardless of challenges, regardless of contingencies I will still be here, and thus this is what I must develop, my ability to act, direct and move points effectively that appear and occur here – because here I have my power to direct – my power to influence – my power to move – my power to take responsibility – it’s not existent in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that for each and every time I go into my mind, and instead of participating, living and moving myself here, instead being busy and moving in my mind, I am obviously not moving myself effectively – I mean this is simply common sense – because when I am not here – obviously I can’t move and direct myself here as there must be a driver in the driver seat else the consequence will be that I create my life without awareness – without a driver in the driver seat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how when I accept and allow nervousness and fear to be the driver of my life, I create a life equal and one to fear and nervousness, due to the simple fact that I am not here in every moment – aware – stable – able – and in real-time directing my life and myself to be what I want it to be – and thus the consequence will be that my life comes to zilch – null; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here – and motivate myself in every moment to remain here – to push myself to let go of emotions and feelings – and be stable – and directive here without the mind because I don’t need the mind – I don’t require experience – I don’t require emotion – I simply require myself – HERE – in and as stability of breath – within and as the certainty that I am here – and I direct what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that even though nervousness and fear appears to be such convincing experiences, apparently indicating that there is some type of real danger, and real “what if” that I must fear – the truth is that nervousness and fear aren’t based upon facts, they are based upon construing reality – trying to make sense of it – while not look at the actual physical movement and direction of reality; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push and motivate myself to look at reality directly here – to for instance in this case see that the practical reality is that I have prepared myself – I have effectively integrated the knowledge – the point is done and complete – and as such there is no point to worry about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto this dream, which is in-fact a point of competition, that I am going to get the best marks, and within that enable myself to at a later stage become lawyer or work at the courts or something in that manner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this is a problem, because I’ve defined myself according to a dream and a plan, thinking that this plan and dream is me – instead of me being the creator and directive principle of my plans and dreams, wherein these are points that I direct and create according to what I see is practical, common sense, valid and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of the dream and hope to become a top-shot lawyer, or work in a court, and a have so-called “top position” and realize that when I accept and allow plans to control me, when I become emotionally affected and change who I am upon the basis of what I set out to do, then this is a problem, as it shows me that I am not the directive principle, I am not standing clear but I am instead allowing myself to be defined, to believe that the plan or dream “makes me” – instead of me accepting and allowing myself to create myself, for me to make a decision that “this is who I am” – and that I stand by my decision of who I am regardless of how my external reality moves – and that I stand equal and one with my external reality – realizing that moving myself in the system is nothing more but a piece of chess – that it’s about positions, it’s about planning, it’s about strategizing – which I am able to do without connecting any form of experience, dream or mental hope in relation to my direction and movement in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can obviously only be effective and live my full potential when I in-fact do accept and allow myself to have my full potential here as me in every moment breath, which implies that I don’t define or limit myself according to a plan, or a dream – believing that “I must reach this” – “or else everything fails” – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and unconditionally let my plans go from a starting point of not defining myself in relation to them – realizing that they are plans – they are mathematical equation that I’ve created and that they have a purpose that is practical – and that plans moved within a starting point of emotions are really worthless – because they are not in relation to what is real – what is practical – what is actual and what is physical – they’re simply experiences and thus obviously not in alignment with and as physical reality HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s common sense – that plans must not define who I am – because if they do – they’re no longer plans – they are my enslaver – they are my point of addiction that I follow to get a high of emotions – and not something that I move and walk towards because it makes sense – because it’s effective – because it will have an outflow that I can stand by – that I see is practical – that is relevant – that I see is cool and that I’d want for myself and others in my world; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally let go my plans as a point of me wanting to get there to experience myself a certain way, and I instead commit myself to walk HERE – practically – physically – in and as stability – as breath – walking my plans because they make sense – and if they don’t work out – I merely change the plans according to what I see is effective – practical and relevant – according what I see will work and will have a outflow which I am satisfied with it effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that nervousness and fear exist within me because I am resisting the unknown, I am resisting the realization that there is no certainty, that I can’t be assured that my plans are going to work out, that I can’t be certain that my life is going to turn out as I’ve thought, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace this unknown, to see, realize and understand that I am able to stand within this point of the unknown, that I am able to stand stable, HERE – and direct myself in every moment of breath – realizing that it’s a condition of this existence – the unknown – and it’s fruitless to fight it – fruitless to resist it – and the key is thus to understand it and learn to direct myself within it and trust myself that I will direct myself towards and as a solution that is best for all regardless of what external situations I am facing in my world and reality

Self-commitments

I commit myself to not longer hold unto my plans as a emotional experience, but to instead make me the directive principle of my plans, thus allowing me to without any emotion or feeling change my plans when I see the need for it arise – because I am here and I direct myself according to what is here

I commit myself to stop defining myself according to my plans, to realize that this world does not define who I am, I define who I am, I decide who I am – and thus the results of my exams will merely be the results on the exam and nothing more and nothing less – thus I commit myself to not make me walking in this system in anyway personal or “about me” but to realize that I am really playing chess and that it’s a game of positions, strategizing, and making moves – which is nothing personal it’s just what it is

I commit myself to stop competing, to stop trying to win, to stop wanting to prove myself to be the best and instead focus upon what I am here to do, which is to create a world, a reality an existence that is best for all – where life can be lived in the full measure – where life is honored and respected – where life is cared for – where life is treated with compassion and consideration – and thus I commit myself to realize that in the big picture my nervousness and fear is irrelevant – and that I can use this time far more effectively – than existing in and being possessed with nervousness and fear

I commit myself to realize that I decide who I am – and that I decide how I will experience myself walking in this world – I decide and not a result on my exams – thus I walk here – I stabilize myself here – I stop this point of fear and nervousness and bring myself back to what is real here

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6 thoughts on “Day 101: One Day Before Exams

  1. Pingback: Day 103: Real Value and Real Success | Viktor Persson

  2. Pingback: Day 105: What is Real Value? | Viktor Persson

  3. Pingback: Day 106: Making Survival Practical | Viktor Persson

  4. Pingback: Day 107: Plan or Live in the Moment? | Viktor Persson

  5. Pingback: Day 108: The System Is Not Personal | Viktor Persson

  6. Pingback: Day 112: Follow The Positive? | Viktor Persson

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