Day 114: Routine

routineOne point that I have realized is that this world consists out of patterns – and these patterns loop over and over. As such I’ve seen that my life exists as such a pattern, a routine, a circle that goes around the same day out and day in.

When I was younger it was one of my greatest fears to end up in a life that would seem perpetually the same – everyday being the same and just like the day before. I didn’t want to live a so called “boring” life – be a “boring” person – I instead wanted to live my life to the fullest and make sure that as I was about to die, I could look back at my life and with great content see that I’d taken part in loads of exotic, strange and enjoyable adventures.

Some days ago I noticed I was beginning to react to my life due to this point of feeling as if everything is the same day out and day in – and this took shape in judgmental thoughts and a energetic experience of feeling low and gloomy. The backchat that came up was for example: “This homework is so boring! I’ve done this type of homework for several years now! It’s always the same!”

Yesterday I thus took some time to write out this point and apply self-forgiveness on it. After I was done I experienced myself silent and stable – and in that I could see how unnecessary it was to react towards the fact that my life is the same day out and day in – because it undoubtedly is the same day out and day in. The fact is that my life will not change just because I react towards my life, and the other fact is that it’s really nothing bad that my life is filled with routine and sameness; really it can be an advantage – because when everything in my life is routine – I can instead focus my attention on other things – such as walking my process in every moment and being aware of my breath.

Routine in itself, doing the same thing day out and day in is such nothing to fear, resist or fight – routine is simply routine – nothing more and nothing less. Thus I will embrace the routine in my life and simply do what it is that I normally do – care for my responsibilities and commitments – and walk them day out and day in without any experience – experiences are not at all necessary to live an effective life.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to routine and doing the same thing day out and day in – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional experience towards the point of routine – instead of realizing the simplicity of the fact that a routine is merely a routine – and nothing more or less

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally – and through participating in backchat as judgments – towards the point of me having to do my homework – read and study day out and day in – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how reading and studying day out and day in isn’t in itself something bad – or wrong – it’s just what it is – a routine and something that I require to do in order to survive and make it through in this world; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally and without reacting – accept and allow myself to walk through this life of routine and realize that it’s nothing to resist – or fight

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create perceptions of routine in my mind when I was young – wherein I imagined and defined routine as being something boring – something to resist – and something that implies one have a unfulfilling and detrimental life – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this assessment and definition of routine is false – that in actuality a routine is simply a routine – and living a life that is the same day out and day in is simply living a life that is the same day out and day in – nothing more and nothing less

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when I was young create and participate in these dreams, that apparently my life must be this constant and continuous change and movement – wherein I explore, I go on adventures, and I live this unpredictable, speedy, and fast paced life style that brings me lot’s of memories; and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this idea of what a fulfilling life apparently is – isn’t a correct understanding of what fulfillment and life entails – because the fact is that regardless of what happens in my life – the point remains that everything is physical – and that I am here in a physical body – and that thus in it’s very foundations life is the same all the time – and it’s really just the pictures around me that are changing giving the illusion of movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give up this idea of what it is to live a fulfilling life – so that I within this can relax and let go – and embrace the routine of my current lifestyle – embrace that there needn’t to be more to life but life in itself – that I don’t require and need to manifest my life into this greatness that others can applaud and look at with wonder and desire – it’s really cool to simply live life – and actually that is the only real point that exists – living and participating in life here and not accepting and allowing myself to live in an idea and belief of what life is and what life should be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can give myself the gift of being relaxed and comfortable in my own skin – in my own life – and that I don’t need to have more but myself here – and live – and walk through my life breath by breath – moment by moment – simply walking through it without creating towards it an experience – but instead remaining stable – steadfast – and walking – simply doing it

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into and as a reaction towards routine, and towards doing the same thing day out and day in – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that routine in itself is nothing bad – it’s nothing wrong – routine is simply routine; as such I commit myself to let go of my judgments towards routine – and embrace the routine of my life – walk the routine of my life without any experience – instead simply walking here and getting it done

When and as I see that I am going into desire, and feeling that my life should be more, that there should be more happening in my life, more going on, more adventures, and happiness – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I don’t require this apparent happy life as lot’s of things happening at all times – I simply and only require myself here – walking my life without any experience – without reacting – just doing it and being content and fulfilled within doing that; as such I commit myself to stop looking for something more in my life – and I instead commit myself to live HERE and embrace HERE – walk HERE and stop myself from trying to have something more or better

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s