Day 125: Communication, or the Lack Thereof

Today a situation occurred which was a outflow of primarily two points: ineffective communication and an ineffective definition and living of the word responsibility.

miscommunicationTo give the general outline of the situation, it was as follows: I have taken on a particular responsibility wherein I have pledged to assist and support with a particular point. Walking this point I have come to see that there isn’t that much to do, meaning, there was no need for what I had pledged to assist and support with. I discussed this with the beings involved, and we came to some sorts of agreement to spend less time on the point, because there wasn’t much if anything at all to be done. Thus, here I see the first issue – there was no clear cut agreement made as to how to direct this particular point – there was a vague agreement but no clear understanding between all participants; such a opaqueness is bound to create conflicts.

In deciding to spend less time on this particular point, there was a couple of points I didn’t take into consideration, one of these points was that as a part of the commitment, I had to be located at a particular place, at a particular time, in order to answer a phone – because the phone had not been ringing I simply disregarded and within that didn’t look at how we particular commitment I had walked into involved answering and taking responsibility for the phone-activity. Thus, here I see that I compromised in regards to responsibility – as I didn’t take full responsibility of my decisions, to see all potential outflows and effects of my decisions, and instead disregarded the phone point and opted to stick with my decision to spend less time on the point.

I am able to see that the reason there was no clear cut communication to begin with, was partly because of how I approached the point – I didn’t see myself as fully responsible – and instead I projected the responsibility of the point unto another participant in the group, and sort of made him “the responsible one” – this as well is a fascinating outflow of ineffective communication – who is really taking responsibility for this point? Regardless, it all comes down to responsibility, because if I had been taking self-responsibility, I would have clarified who is responsible for what, and what is my specific role in this point? What am I expected to do and not do? I mean, I didn’t take the communication to that final point – and I in that I didn’t clarify for myself my starting point in regards to taking on the commitment – and in that clarifying – Who I am in regards to this particular point.

What I have realized thus, is the importance of clear communication, the importance of being aware of the context, and the importance of clarifying any vagueness and obscure situation – so that I know who I am – what I am to do – what others are to do and not to do – that is the solution to end conflict and make participation between human beings effective and rewarding.

I see that I am able to practice this, through when I walk points in my world, make commitments, and collaborate with others, that I ask myself, what is my point here? What is it that I am walking? What is my responsibility? And is there something not clear to me? And in this make sure that when I make a decision for myself as well as with others – that it is CLEAR – unambiguous – leaving no room for interpretation – it is done.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unclear and not specific in my communication and direction in life, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions without really deciding, to communicate without really communicating, to participate without really participating – because I am not HERE – presentaware and specific in what I am doing – realizing that I am responsible for the outflow of this particular situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences in my life through not being specific with communication and making clear agreements with others in my life where I know where I stand – and I know where the other person stands – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that things are “just going to work” – and that things will “sort themselves out” – instead of seeing, realizing and understand that unless I make something work – unless I decide to be specific – diligent – and put effort into every moment of participation – then I am going to face consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be specific in my communication with myself – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions without being clear – to move myself without being directive and understand what I am doing and why I am doing it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from within and as the assumption that things will just work out – instead of realizing that nothing just works out because I will have to make it work – I must direct the point into and as specificity – and into and as being effective – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take that responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility within myself – and make sure that every in my life – is a moment that I dedicate towards making the best of my life – and live this principle through being clear in my communication and aware and present – and direct points when something is not clear – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that others are to direct points that are not clear – that others are to become more effective in their communication and that it is not a problem for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this entire situation developed through me not having a clear definition and understand of “who I am” in relation to the point – and this was a consequence of me not effectively clarifying my position and agreement with others through communication – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand – that the key to being “in control” of my life – is to be an effective communicator – and within this understand where I am going, understand what requires to be said, and understand that unless a point is directed through effective communication – it will not be directed at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that others are to direct situations for me – and that others are to clarify and make decisions for me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my life – for all aspects and dimensions of my life – and within this see, realize and understand that – there is no one else that is going to do it for me – and unless I make this decision and decide to take responsibility for all points – and direct all points in my life – then I am going to face consequences – which is obviously completely and totally unnecessary – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the solution is to stand up and make the decision to take responsibility – and do so regardless of whether others walk the point or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not being effective at communicating and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not being clear in their communication and thus apparently causing conflicts for me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is not to blame others – but for me to stand up in my own life and take responsibility and ensure that my communication is effective – to ensure that there are clear and effective agreements so that no assumptions can grow – and no interpretations can be made – because there is a clear understanding – a clear and effective way forward as a structure that uphold the particular relationship that is being walked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for others to become more specific and clear in their communication and use this as an excuse for why I am not pushing myself to become more effective and clear with my communication – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am limiting myself through waiting on others – and that I can wait forever – and that nothing will change – which doesn’t make sense because my life becomes filled with consequence when I wait with changing instead of changing immediately – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to be more aware of my communication, to be more aware of who I am, where I am, and what my points are in regards to what I am walking in my life – so that I am as such specific and exact in all the points that I have taken on – and that I walk my life certain of myself – because I am clear in my communication with myself as will as with my communication with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the obvious common sense in all of this is that I will benefit from becoming more effective in communication – and others in my world will benefit from me becoming more effective in communication – and thus there is absolutely no reason for me to wait, and blame others – it just doesn’t make sense – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not assist and support myself – and push my communication skills to be the best that they can possibly be

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am not communicating effectively, and that I am involved in a point where I don’t have clarity and there is no clear agreement, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that without clarity there can’t be effective collaboration, and without clear agreement there will be conflict – and as such I commit myself to in that direct myself to create and establish clear agreements – so that I know my place in the structure – and I am clear on what I am doing and how I am doing it – because I have defined for myself in clear unambiguous words – my starting point – my who I am

When and as I see that I want to make a decision, but I am not clear, not stable, and not certain in regards to this decision, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that it’s pointless to make decisions when I am not stable and clear, because the decision will not be a decision but only a form of suppression resulting in an eventual conflict, and then later on I will have to deal with the point yet again, and as such I commit myself to walk the necessary effort and that extra mile – in order to ensure that when I make a decision – I am clear – I have dealt with the reactions and the experiences – I have my structure before in the form of words – I know what I am doing – and how I am going to do it – and then I walk; thus – words first as the structure – then the decision as walking the structure

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2 thoughts on “Day 125: Communication, or the Lack Thereof

  1. Pingback: Decisions and the Diving bell of Suppression: DAY 280 | Anna's Journey to LifeAnna's Journey to Life

  2. Pingback: Changing a Non-Commitment Clause to an Absolute Commitment: DAY 281 | Anna's Journey to LifeAnna's Journey to Life

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