Day 130: Planning for Failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan ahead, and make decisions for my future from a starting point of disbelief, lack and fear – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan in such a way as to avoid failure, and avoid realizing my fears, not realizing that when I plan, and make decisions from this starting point I am in-fact sabotaging myself, as I am not accepting and allowing myself to make the BEST decision, and to make the BEST plan – but I am rather making a plan that will hopefully not place me in the particular situation that I fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the starting point of my future plans and decisions to make the BEST future for myself, to make the MOST of my life, and to walk, and do that which I see that I want to do, and that which I see would contribute, and bring forth what is best for all – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in an experience of lack, fear and disbelief, wherein I do not push myself to make my plans, and decisions a expression of self-movement, and self-expansion, but rather an attempt to try and avoid that which I don’t want to happen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as, and create an idea of myself that I am not good enough, and that I lack, and as such believe that my decisions, and my movement of myself, must be based upon the notion of me attempting to avoid failure, and avoid the worst case scenario, and avoid my life becoming worthless – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not rather move myself in the direction that would challenge me the most, that would contribute to my life, and the life’s of others the most, that would make a difference in my life, as well as in the life’s of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in regards to my future impulsively, and to become addicted to making various decisions, and change my decisions in regards to the future, because I fear making a decision that is effective for me, and then sticking to it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impulsive in my movement in my life – instead of being determined, and patient – instead of accepting and allowing myself to make a decision and then stick with it – and realize that the fears and doubts coming up within are but fears and doubts – and do not mean that my initial decision is invalid – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work with these fears and doubts as they arise within me – to immediately take them on – and not accept and allow them to fester within me – to take hold of me – and to influence my decision making and my plans for my future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I make a decision, to immediately as information come into my world that is not aligned with my initial idea of the decision I made – to go into fears and anxiety, and doubt, and impulsively, without accepting and allowing myself to carefully consider to information, to be patient, to be steadfast, and stable in considering new information, and to as such not immediately leave my initial decision – but to accept and allow myself to cross-reference – and to accept and allow myself to make decision slowly in such a pace that is effective for me – for me to be certain that I know what I deciding and that I know where I am coming from – and I know what it is that I am creating and how I am going to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impulsive in regards to decision making – and make decisions without reflecting, pondering, and looking at the point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust myself when I make decisions impulsively – and be impulsively – meaning that I make a decision in a reaction, and in a experience – immediately changing my initial direction and movement – because I do not experience that as being correct and right anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and allow myself to move more slowly in regards to decisions – to realize that only because something is not as I initially imagined it to be – and as I initially saw it to be – this doesn’t mean that I have to throw away my old decisions and plans – that I immediately on the spot have to change everything that I have walked up to this point – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient with myself – and to not accept and allow myself to cross-reference my decisions – to cross-reference my considerations – to as such make sure that when I make decisions – and when I make plans – that it’s specific – it’s effective – and that it’s aligned with what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as fears when I make decisions, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions from a starting point of fear of survival, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my decisions are not more effective because I make them in fears – they are not more specific – more directive – and more to the point only because there is a fear involved – rather – it’s the opposite – and that when I make decisions in fear – the decision is not based upon what is a physical fact – what is real – and what I am able to verify for myself and cross-reference with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not when I have doubts, and fears come up within me, and I feel the urge to make a decision, to then stop myself, take a breath, and bring myself back here – and discipline myself to not make a decision upon the basis of this experience – but to rather breathe through it and let it go – and within that accept and allow myself to stabilize and stand here with and as my human physical body – and let the fear and the doubt go unconditionally – and then make sure then when I make decisions and plan – that I am clear within myself – that there is no movement – that there is no fear – but that I am stable

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into fear, doubt, and anxiety, and that I want to make decisions, and plans, in order for me to avoid, and escape these fears, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that a decision based upon these experiences will not be effective – it will not be specific – it will not be aligned with and as reality and that which I am able to prove to myself is physical – stable – here; and as such I commit myself to breathe through these emotions – to stabilize myself here – and when I look at a plan or decision – to make sure that there is no movement within me and that I am stable – and to not make a decision until I am clear within myself

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8 thoughts on “Day 130: Planning for Failure

  1. almost

    You know I respect a person who writes about this. I can relate somewhat. But it makes me angry to see things like this with Desteni. I have dealt with something similar, yet more pronounced. As I was abused as a child, I would go through years where ’emotional reactions’ or triggers would come up, when in the middle of working, or speaking infront of a group, or just talking with someone – deep emotional reactions would come up, where I would think ‘ I have to get out of here’ and a strong sense of panic to the point that I would feel sick. This would cause me to not make a decision on something, or make a decision to avoid people or certain situations in the future, because I didnt think I could handle it, and was afraid I would ‘panic and freak out’ – I still deal with this. Add to that, where someone has physical problems visibly, and other people react to that, that creates a monumental fear of making sure you dont end up in situations where you have to deal with a lot of people, or be around things, or a ‘worse case scenario’ – I meant theres nothing forgiveness can do for that or physically help you.

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    1. Viktor Persson Post author

      Forgiveness will assist and support you to re-structure your inner reality – the only proof that this works exists in the authors of the Journey to Life blogs – in all events – the only way you can make sure that there is a positive effect coming from self-forgiveness is to apply it yourself.

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  2. Dan Malara

    Viktor, Awesome post! I knew when I read the title that I needed to read this out loud. Very glad I did so. Very supportive. Thank you.

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