Day 159: Up For Review

Today I am going work with a reaction I had in relation to the following situation: I had turned in an assignment for review with my boss and was hopeful as well as anxious about the results – when I got it back I became disappointed because there were some mistakes that I felt was unnecessary – and I also felt that I’d failed my boss and that I should’ve done better – along with this also came up some fears in relation to employment and becoming seen as less valuable on the job market and therefore not being able to sustain myself with money in this world.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I turn something in to my boss, or turn an assignment in at my school, or interact in some way with the system wherein I do something that will at a later stage be evaluated and given a mark, to in that hope, and desire that my product will be accepted by the person receiving it, and that I will receive praise, and approval

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with others about getting the most approval for something that I’ve turned in, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self-value, and self-worth in relation to whether or whether not I am approved, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become sad, and feel disappointed, and miserable when and as I don’t receive the approval that I hoped that I would

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define whether I am satisfied with my application in regards to a point, or not, on the basis of whether I am approved or not approved, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent upon another saying to me that what I am doing is good, for me to trust myself to walk that point, and apply myself, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for approval and positive stimuli before I move myself and act – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait with trusting myself and relying upon myself before someone says to me that I am approved and that what I’ve done is good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire that my efforts at my work and in my school are to be recognized and that I am to be deemed a resource and not a liability – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define for myself whether I am satisfied with me and my efforts on the basis of whether I receive approval for what I’ve done or not – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my efforts and my work, and studies to be about getting approval, instead of me producing a point that I am satisfied with and that I know is an expression of myself – that I’ve put the necessary attention and detail into for it to be a cool product

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to will myself to make a product perfect in fear that I won’t be approved, instead of pushing myself to make a product perfect because it’s something that I want to do for myself, that I want to make sure because I enjoy to push points in my world to perfection and not accept and allow myself to produce points that are less than what I am a capable of – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not will myself, and push myself to at my work, and with my studies, participate from a starting point of – I am doing this for and as me – as an expression of me – and not to receive approval or praise from another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt, and worthless when and as I receive feedback on a product that I produced and it’s revealed that I’ve made some mistakes, and that the product isn’t as effective as was expected, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my stability, and groundedness in relation to work, upon whether I am approved or not, and whether the work I do receives praise or not, instead of founding my stability and groundedness within and as each and every breath I take here – wherein I am not influenced or affected by whether another likes, or dislikes what I’ve produced – I simply take it as feedback and push myself to be more specific and detailed in my work – as an expression of myself – wherein I won’t accept and allow anything that is less than my full potential

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into a state of stress and hastiness at work, or in relation to my school work, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to breathe and practice moving myself naturally with and as my human physical body in the pace of the physical – and focus on producing the most effective work that I am capable of – not because I want to be recognized – but because it’s an expression of an as myself – and the work that I produce is thus myself

I commit myself to stop defining myself according to the feedback I receive from others in relation to my work, and my school work, and instead push myself to become the best I can be in relation to the work I produce as an expression of myself – wherein I do it as a commitment that I make to myself to be the best that I can be in this life and live to my fullest potential

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One thought on “Day 159: Up For Review

  1. Pingback: Day 162: I Am Not Appreciated | Viktor Persson

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