Day 184: OUT-of-time or IN-time?

Today I listened to an interview called: “How do you see time?” – which covered ‘time’ – and I will not delve deeper into the specifics of the interview but rather share what I realized – and what I could see that I require to specify and work with further.

So – time – most of us – me included – tend to never be in-time because we’re mostly out-of-time – meaning: We’re not HERE in breath with time (IN-time) but somewhere else, struggling to create the future we want, or worrying that we’ll experience a future that we don’t want to have. This is because we tend to define the future, our fantasies, and wants within a positive energy charge – and our past within a negative energy charge – and because of that we strive towards the future and try to avoid the past.

Thus – what I will practice from here on is applying myself HERE – and pushing myself to remain IN-time – instead of OUT-of-time – to remain IN-breath – instead of being OUT-of-breath – and this is as I see it something that I simply have to practice and will myself to live until it becomes an automated state of being – and here I must will and discipline myself to really just be HERE and function with what is HERE – and remain clear within my principles and why it is that I am HERE in this life – why it is that I’ve decided to walk – live and apply myself in my life – and that I am doing it for LIFE and what is BEST for all – and in that principle – in my goals there can’t be any room for fear or desire – instead I must push myself to utilize each moment that arise HERE and make the most of my LIFE – and I am only able to make the most of my life if I live my life – and I can only live my life in this breath HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life exists in my mind and in my future – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame time – and project my experience of myself as not being grounded and stable in the physical on time – in believing that it’s time that causes me to go into and as a state of being unstable – and wearisome in this moment here – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it’s not about time – and that it’s not about my life – it’s about who I am in relationship to and as my human physical body – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not pursue and practice me grounding myself in every moment in my physical body – and deliberately bringing myself back here when I see that I’ve gone into some projection in my mind – and realize that in order to live to my fullest potential I require to be HERE – live HERE – and apply myself HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the solution for my life exists in my mind – and in reaching for and fantasizing about the dreams I have in my mind – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the solution is here – with me – with who I am in relationship to my life and my mind in every moment of breath – and thus I push and will myself – and discipline myself to remain here – to stop going into projections in the mind and to live with and as every moment here

I realize that it’s not effective living as a dreamer – and trying to prevent a future that doesn’t exist – and I instead realize that it’s effective to live every moment to it’s fullest – to direct myself in every moment and make sure that I make the most of each and every breath

I commit myself to discipline myself to remain with and as breath – and immediately stop projections as they come up within me – to breathe through fear of the future – and immediately bring myself back here – and I commit myself to make this a automated behavior and something that I apply effortlessly

I commit myself to develop courage to walk through the fear of the future – and make the decisions that I resist – walk the decisions that I resist – and face the unknown – and walk into the unknown – and not accept and allow myself to cower and diminish myself – but instead straighten out my back – pull my cheek up and walk into the future – and face it

I commit myself to develop self-discipline – and stop fear and stress as it arise within me – and instead walk my decision fully and completely – walk not for myself but for humanity and for a life that is best for all – to remove self-interest and make me and my life an instrument of life

I commit myself to remove self-interest from my decision making and instead look at what is best for all – to remove the concept of ‘my life’ and instead make my life a WE – and instrument of the WE to come to it’s fullest and most optimal expression

I stand – I apply – and I will myself to change this point and not stop until it’s done and I live courage and stability and I walk and make the most of my life in each and every moment HERE

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