Day 208: You Can Be Productive Without Stress

There are certain aspects of my world that will function as a trigger point to go into stress – one of these is my morning ritual – which will start at about 6 in the morning and then end at about 9 in the morning. Usually what will trigger the stress response in me is preparing my breakfast – this is a even that takes time and it takes time from what I perceive to be a more important activity – and where I should be at that time – which is at the library writing my thesis.

Though what is fascinating is that even though I get to the library a little later than usual, I will still have amply of time to write my thesis, and at the end of the day I will have been able to cover a lot of ground, and do pretty much what I set out to do – even though I was a little late. This proves one thing – that stress isn’t a real consideration – it’s not a real experience – it’s not an actual understanding that there is a lack of time – it’s instead a emotional response to a certain situation and nothing more.

Because usually I tend to believe that stress relates to what is going on in my physical realitymeaning that my stress has some form of justification – because I am running late and this will mean that certain consequences are going to flow – though stress doesn’t have those qualities of a real measurable insight into the functions of physical existence – it’s just an energy.

So, in looking deeper at what it is that triggers this stress, it’s the idea that in not getting to the library early enough, I am going to miss out and not be able to produce a sufficiently effective thesis as I’d hoped to do – so getting to the library becomes a matter of survival – becomes a matter of struggle where I fight against the time and try to avoid time from taking over my life.

In order to stop this stress I must stop the polarity of good and bad that rests in the depths of this experience – the idea that my life and future can either have the perfect outflow– where everything goes smoothly and in accordance to plan – or the most horrible outflow – where things turn to shit – I don’t get to spend a single hour at the library – and from there everything becomes crap. Instead it’s to understand that yes – I might be half an hour late – though there is no particular consequence to that – if I really require to I can just stay half an hour more at the library – or I can put in some more time during the weekend if I see that my thesis is moving to slowly – meaning: There are REAL solutions – there are REAL ways to deal with this point – and stress is not one of them and thus it shouldn’t be my automatic point of rendezvous whenever something doesn’t work out as I’ve hoped it would – instead the point that I go to should be a solution.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this perpetual experience of stress within me towards living in and moving myself in the world system – towards following schedules, times and tables, and towards making a living for myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate waking up in the morning – starting my day – making my breakfast – and looking at my day as to what I must move and get done – through the eyes of survival – through the eyes of stress and anxiety – instead of looking at my life, my responsibilities and commitments within and as practical common sense

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate my schoolwork – and my responsibilities in relation to money and survival with fear and stress – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize stress at a motor and motivation within me to drive me forwards – and to believe that the sole way of making headway in this world – of making it in this reality is through stress and fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to initiate stress in the morning – and then to hold unto this stress throughout my day – believing that this is what must be done for me to get anything done whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto a self-distrust – wherein I believe that unless I have energy as a motivator – that unless I have energy as something that drives me forward and creates me life for me – that I won’t do anything whatsoever – that I won’t move myself whatsoever and that I will get nothing done – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of stress – and resist fully and completely letting go of stress – and moving myself in equality with and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice slowing down when moving myself in my physical world – and dealing with my responsibilities and commitments – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto stress and anxiety as a valid motor for me to get forward and to do what I need to do in my life – and believe that a life without stress is a life that won’t move forward – and to believe that a life without thinking about what must be done next – and pushing myself to as fast as possible be done with these small responsibilities in my world to get to the next – that this is what counts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself in my world within and as the pace of breath – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself slow and with patience – moving through all the points in my world with awareness and presence – getting to know all the points in my world because I move with them slowly and specifically and I don’t haste through them to get somewhere else – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that one of the key aspects in learning – and in expanding – is actually slowing down – because in slowing down I will be able to see more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate being productive and effective to stress – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order to be productive and effective – in order to get headway and move things along – I require to go into stress – I even must go into stress because apparently without that I can’t be productive and effective – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I can push and will myself to be productive and effective here within and as breath – realizing that productive is me moving myself with my physical to produce – which is a physical act – and being effective is me doing that physical act with awareness, presence and specificity – and thus is also a physical act – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that stress doesn’t support me or enhance me as being productive and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that believing that being effective and productive requires fear and stress is in-fact a misconception – and that the proof of such a point is nature – as well as the physical forces that operate – as these are always producing – always effective in their movement – yet they move solely with their physicals – and there is no mind – no stress – thus proving that what matters is physical movement – and not stress as an emotional experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that what matters is matter – and me moving and directing myself as a physical being in matter – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that to create myself in the physical and to create my world – I require to be herepresent and aware – and stress will not help me in that regard – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I will be able to create my life fully without stress – that it’s a question of what I physically do – not what type of experience that I have and hold unto

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into stress – and to associate the decision of studying or working with going into stress – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately as I approach something that is related to money – to the system – to work – or a similar point – to go into stress – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the system of money intrinsically must create this stress in me – and that it’s something unavoidable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is I creating the stress that I experience – and that I’m doing through association – and thus I commit myself to change my association – to change my self-definition in the things that I do – to change my relationship to the things I walk in my life – to change studies from being something that I do to get through the system and survive – something that I do as a point of self-expansion and self-movement – and change work into me moving myself physically go give another as I’d like to receive – to produce in this world on a physical basis here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not deliberately change my way of waking up and initiating my morning – and make it something grounding – supportive and stabilizing – to find ways that I am able to ground myself and stop stress as it arise within me – and thus not accept and allow stress to become the defining experience of myself as I walk throughout my day

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a state of stress as I wake up and start my morning, or begin my studies, or take on my work, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this stress comes up within me as a habit – as automated response to a particular dimension in my life that I am moving myself into – and that it’s completely unnecessary – and thus I commit myself to give myself a moment to breath – to slow down – to smell the air and feel my surroundings – to calm myself down and move myself back into my physical body and feel my breath

When and as I see that I am going into a state of stress, as I look in my mind and see the various responsibilities and commitments that I require to engage myself within throughout the day – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that it doesn’t support me to go into this state of stress – that I don’t get more done – that I can be productive and effective without stress – and thus I commit myself to slow down – to give myself a moment to breathe and ground myself in my human physical body – and then I will myself to walk and do one thing at a time – to follow my to-do list and walk the various practical aspects of my day in the physical – seeing realizing and understanding that the physical is in-fact all I require to move myself through my day and get done what is required to be done

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