Day 215: Waking Up With Stress

Waking up with stress has become a habit for me – and here are some interesting points that I’ve come to see.

I only wake up with stress on weekdays – meaning the days where I know that I’ve got several responsibilities to attend to that are in relation to money and survival.

And – the stress arises in the morning and then subsides as the evening breaks. Thus the stress follows my routine quite effectively and it’s constantly triggered by work, studies and responsibilities in relation to the money system.

Another interesting point is that the stress experience in itself is quite constant – meaning that it doesn’t matter how much I’ve planned for the coming day. If I got tons of stuff planned – I will experience this slight elevation of the heart rate and the buzzing of the stress energy – and the same will happen on those days when I don’t have that many things to do. Interestingly enough – the energy is actually slightly less on those days where I’ve to be active and move myself to deal with my responsibilities – because during those days there is no time for reacting or thinking.

Then the most interesting point of them all – stress makes me sloppy – stress makes me skip steps and jump ahead and in that I miss important things – and this creates consequences. Stress thus gives the impression of being a boost that one can use to motivate oneself with throughout the day – though taking into account all the consequences that are created – if summed up – it’s obviously more effective to not stress and get the things done properly and effectively the first time around.

So – stress is this strange experience that I’ve accepted on premise that it apparently means I care about myself, my life, and my future – and that it helps me to move ahead – though this isn’t true. The real truth is that stress is only an experience – a energy – that I’ve associated to certain times, events, and sections of my day – that have NO corollary with my physical environment – stress is thus a form of disease – a mental disease that shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the physical body.

I will continue here with applying self-forgiveness on this point and in this assist and support myself to move through and transcend the stress-experience.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate responsibilities and commitments in relation to my survival and in relation to the money system with and as stress – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as I wake up on a weekday – approach and direct my day from within and as the premise of and as stress

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct and move myself throughout within and as stress – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and take as true the premise that stress apparently helps me in my life – that it assists and supports me to grow and expand and become more effective within and as my direction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to stress as it arise within me when I wake up in the morning – believing that the stress is actually real – that there is in-fact such a thing existent in the very air of my day that I must be stressed to get through this all – that I must exist in this constant state of preparation and trepidation in order to get through and survive my day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order to get through and survive my day – and be able to deal with my responsibilities in the system – I must go into stress and anxiety I must use these energies to compete with my competition that are those others existent in this system that fight for money and resources to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make stress my guide and my source of inspiration – and the reason as to why I take initiative – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait taking initiative – wait with moving and directing myself – wait with creating myself – believing that my movement requires this stress energy that takes me over and then does things for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the stress energy gives an impression of being an assistance in this world of survival – though within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself – and in this see the actual physical outflows of stress – and in that realize that stress only serve to tense me up and put me into a state of survival – and not actually be able to move and direct myself throughout my day effectively and specifically

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I obviously do not need to stress to function effectively and specifically in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I’ve already developed an effective movement of myself – an effective direction and creation of myself on a day by day basis – and that thus this stress energy is simply a nuisance – something that is in my way of actually and even more firmly and directively building and creating my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate waking up – and seeing before that I require to work with my thesis and my other courses – with stress – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate this stress experience through imagining how my time get’s eaten up – and how I am by each second losing time that I could’ve invested in my studies – and in building my career and my future survival in this world – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed and obsessed with and as this point of time – and relate time to and as stress

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require to be stressed in order to use my time effectively – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into stress in the belief that this will have me utilize my day to it’s optimum potential – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’m limiting myself by thinking that my time-usage is limited to – defined within – and subject to how stressed I am – and that I can only be effective in using my time when and as I am stressed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how stress energy sucks the life out of me – that in participating in – and accepting and allowing stress-energy to take over my life – I’m in-fact on a long-term basis creating a burnout – which implies that I’m slowly less and less inclined to motivate and move myself in this system – and get things done – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must establish a solid, sustainable, and long-term solution to movement – and here stress is not a option – rather the only point that will work on a long-term basis is me directing myself within and as breath – within and as physical self-movement here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that things doesn’t get done due to stress – things get done because I move and direct myself to complete the points – to walk the points – to participate within and direct the points – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring myself back here to the physical and stabilize myself within and as this physical world – and change stress to instead being self-motivated self-movement within and as the natural and gentle momentum of the physical – thus not forcing movement – yet still pushing and directing myself to move

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not decide to wake up and begin each new day in this world not in stress – but rather in this motivation and discipline – that I am going to use my day to it’s fullest to support me in my process of self-creation – support others – and also to create my future and my life in this world – and thus put first the actual physical creation of my life – and change stress thus from energy – to me physically directing and moving myself here in my world – and attending what must be done and directed

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into stress as I wake up, begin my day, and take on my studies, and work responsibilities, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body, and I see, realize and understand that in order to take my day to it’s fullest and utmost potential – stress is but a nuisance that stands in my way – that blocks me from moving into my awareness and expressing myself – directing myself – and building my life and the life of others – and thus I commit myself to change this stress to self-motivated self-movement in the pace and speed of the physical – meaning that I move myself with my physical body HERE – and that stress takes no part in my life what-so-ever

When and as I see that I am going into stress, habitually because it’s a weekday, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that only because I’ve before me certain responsibilities in regards to labor, work, and money – that this doesn’t have to define my emotional experience myself – and thus I see, realize and understand that in order to effectively deal with and move myself throughout my day – all I require is in-fact myself – and my human physical body – and me sectionalizing my day – looking at what is required to be done – and starting to one by one move and direct myself to handle these points

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