Day 455: Warmth

We are approaching the Christmas festivities and for me, the introductory events have already begun. The way Christmas is celebrated in my country of Sweden, is usually by eating a lot of food and drinking alcoholic beverages of different kinds, and then by giving gifts.

I do see Christmas at the moment as an event of gluttony and misplaced joy. However, I also see that there is a potential for Christmas, and these Holidays to become something supportive and worthwhile. The two holidays approaching at the moment is Christmas and New Years eve – and thus – I find this a good opportunity for me to redefine and look at how I am able to utilize these holidays to support myself and others to become the best we can be.

Lets look at Christmas first. For me the thought of Christmas brings up warmth and a sense of belonging and appreciation. The warmth has to do with family, and how everyone gets to together to share each-others company. This is from where the experience of belonging also comes from. I usually feel like I belong in relation to my family – something that is strengthened with the gifts that are given. Appreciation, that is something I relate to the gifts. We show we appreciate the presence by presents.

Hence, warmth, belonging and appreciation. At the moment, these are words that come up within me as feelings, and mostly during public holidays such as Christmas. However, this begs the question, why have I not pushed myself to live these words practically in my day-to-day life – thus creating each-day to become a Christmas in itself. I will begin with looking at warmth.

How I have lived the word warmth thus far

I do not consider myself to be a warm person, at least if by being warm is meant being heartfelt, open and embracing. Those are words I have difficulty expressing. My tendency to be cold, however, is also one of my greatest strengths. I am calculating and precise – though it at times robs me of my ability to create deep, intimate and meaningful relationships with others. In-fact, it is something that I have been afraid of doing – due to the fear of being rejected. As such, within me, there is a constant cynicism – a experience of mistrust – a apprehension and expectation of soon being stabbed in my back. This makes it difficult for me to be warm – because I fear – that by being warm – I am going to open myself up to attacks.

Dictionary definition

1 a : having or giving out heat to a moderate or adequate degree

warm weather

a warm fire

b : serving to maintain or preserve heat especially to a satisfactory degree

a warm sweater

c : feeling or causing sensations of heat brought about by strenuous exertion
2 : comfortably established : secure
3 a : marked by strong feeling : ardent

b : marked by excitement, disagreement, or anger

the argument grew warm

4 : marked by or readily showing affection, gratitude, cordiality, or sympathy

a warm welcome

warm regards

5 : emphasizing or exploiting sexual imagery or incidents
6 : accompanied or marked by extreme danger or duress

7 : newly made : fresh

a warm scent

8 : having the color or tone of something that imparts heat; specifically : of a hue in the range yellow through orange to red

9 : near to a goal, object, or solution sought

not there yet but getting warm

Sounding the word

War-me
Warn
Ware-me
Wear-Me
With-Me
Aware-of-Me

Creative writing

Warmth, it is something that I can push myself to live in my daily life – by practicing empathy and genuine care for others. To when someone shares themselves, to listen to their words, and for that moment, stand in their shoes – to really hear what they are saying – so that I am able to respond with warmth. I have experienced, especially people that work as nurses, to have this ability to be genuinely warm with their patients. What I have experienced inside of me when meetings people with this ability is that when they touch and speak, they really mean it, they are HERE and not in a hurry to get somewhere else. And when they touch, I have felt embraced, seen and cared for. It is like they are able to see they value in me, recognize it, and support it. And that is how I see that I would like to live warmth as well.

Being warm is to be inviting and embracing. Like a warm bath. I love those, I jump into it, and I feel relaxed, I can take a deep breathe and relax – be myself completely – with not worry in the world. And that physical experience of warmth is something that I can use when I live this word for myself. Especially when it comes to myself, I can practice living warmth by relaxing, taking a deep breath, and allowing myself to completely disengage and flow, be invite myself in just as I am, without any conditions.

The sound that I connect with the most is ‘Wear-Me’ or ‘Aware-of-Me’. This signifies that being warm is a recognition of someone of myself.

New definition

Embracing and unconditionally opening myself up to and receiving myself or another without fears

 


 

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