Day 362: Organic Expansion

This past week I have been trying out some applications at work to assist and support myself to achieve more of a balance between my mental/intellectual participation and my physical movement. The reason for this is because of how I feel when I get home from work. I usually experience the time at work as blurred, as if I have existed in only one form of expression – a tense, focused and driven movement – a bit like a strained guitar string playing a one note song. And I admit that at my work, that expression is required at times. I have to be focused, fully and intensely HERE. However, if I do not give myself moments of letting go – that one sided and strained movement starts to tear at me – causing me to feel much more exhausted when I get home than what I would be if I had more balance.

Thus – to support myself with this point I have committed myself to a daily walk after I have eaten my lunch. It is only for a short time, some 15 minutes. However that break gives me the opportunity to BREATH fresh air, to MOVE physically, and to do something DIFFERENT – and that supports me to stabilize myself – and it is something I will continue to do.

And this also brings me into the topic I want to open up in this blog, which is Organic Expansion. Now, for a long time I held the idea that in order to become successful in this world, I have to hold unto and strive to achieve mastery in one or a few well selected areas. I would pursue specialization – and at the same time build a fear within me of losing time in other areas of my life that I did not consider to be relevant to my chosen area of expertise. This caused me to not spend time on for example, taking care of my home, taking care of close relationships – and also – it made me resistant when it came to trying out new hobbies, interests, or simply going for opportunities that opened up in my life, unless obviously, they suited my initial goal/plan/direction that I had decided for myself. I have realized that this way of aiming for specialization quells EXPANSION.

Expansion I have found can be found in the most unlikely of places. Self-expansion cannot be planned – it is a decision that is made in a moment while participating/interacting in this world – and it can be lived/applied in any context/area of our life. And EVERY TIME – when I have expanded myself in one area of my life – it have assisted and supported me to grow and expand in other areas of my life as well. I have realized that it is faulty to view my life as compartmentalized, between for example, my professional life and my leisure time. They are one and the same, in the sense that, what I developed within and as myself in my professional life, will equal and one come through in my leisure time, and the other way around. And because of this, it is really no ‘waste of time’ to spend time and effort developing myself in areas of interests that are outside of my initial goal of what I want to become good at and specialize in.

Because self-expansion cannot be planned – it unfolds organically. And what I mean with self-expansion cannot be planned, is that I cannot decide that for example, I will study two hours about subject B, and then expect that I will be able to expand, only by committing to those two hours of study. I can sit down and study for 8 hours, or drive myself ferociously to achieve a goal, though if I am not PRESENT and HERE – I will not be able to see and participate within the moments of expansion that unfolds organically as I move myself through life. This also implies, that SELF-EXPANSION and GROWTH, is not the same as material success in this world. The fact is that we can become very wealthy, without having grown one inch as an individual. And self-expansion is about personal growth and empowerment.

Thus, the key to self-expansion is to be PRESENT and HERE in the movement of the moment. A moment of expansion could for example open up as I go out to wash my car. I feel bored because of the repetitive movements and the simplicity of the chore and go into thoughts – thus not being HERE and PRESENT. If I would however go out and wash my car, and push myself to be AWARE – I would start to notice the small things. Where the dirt is located on the car, the consistency of the dirt and how the dirt effects the condition of the car. I would start to see the small issues and scratches on the varnish, spot the initial stages of rust. Further, I would be able to experience the movement of my body, and practice ergonomics and body awareness.

As my example shows, the key to self-expansion is not setting up and moving towards goals, and while that practice is cool when it comes to supporting movement and direction, it is the most important ingredient when it comes to self-expansion. And that is because self-expansion is a organic process that is actually accessible in each and every moment – it is all about WHO WE ARE and whether we remain perceptive and receptive to the small points of expansion that are in our lives every day.

Hence, what I have decided to do, is to do things that might seem irrelevant and unnecessary at first glance. To spend time on projects and interests that I resist and to not judge anything that comes into my world as a waste of time – because I know it is not what I do that determines the outcome – it is WHO I AM.

 


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