Day 385: How I Make Decisions

Due to computer issues I have been away from active writing for a while. My computer is now fully functional yet again and hence my writing will resume.

In my life there has opened up a career opportunity. Looking at it objectively, it is a very good opportunity. It is a choice of career that is lucrative and does not demand too much in time and effort. The point that I have been unsure about, and that I have spent time looking at, is whether the opportunity suits me or not.

When I look at making decisions and future prospects, my aim is to firstly, remove all the feeling and emotional connotations to the point. In this instance, the opportunity triggered a sense of importance and feeling special, and also desire to have money. What also became triggered was a fear of missing out, and a fear of not moving into the direction that I initially foresaw/imagined. These experiences are not relevant, and would I keep them as dimensions to consider in the decision making process, the result will not be trustworthy. Emotions and feelings are ephemeral and mercurial. Basing decisions on such loosely defined energies will result in unwanted outcomes. This is because at some point, the feelings might suddenly disappear or shift into a different direction, and then the decision made has no validity.

The second step is to list/define all the pros and cons in relation to the decision. This is a fascinating process, because sitting down and deeply considering a decision, and its implications, will open up a range of new dimensions. The decision can have outflows and impact indirectly in other parts of my life and in ways that I did not see until I defined the pros and cons  and placed them on a paper in-front of me. It also helps slowing down and creating an overview.

Something else that can be seen is that some pros will feel more important within, and then when placed without on a piece of paper, they will seem insignificant. This is because certain pros and cons will be charged with either feelings or emotions – and those charged aspects will appear to be more important when looked at in the mind. However in physical reality, a different point, that is not charged with an energy, can be the most important. An example would be the following. A fear that is coming up within me, and a point that I have defined as a con, is that I will not pursue the type of law that I initially foresaw/envisioned myself doing. I will instead learn/apply a more bureaucratic and unpopular kind of law. This also triggers the fear that I will be unhappy in my chosen career. This point felt big and important. However when I looked at my pros and cons list – it was practically speaking not that big of a deal. What stood out to me was instead that the career decision offered me a possibility to work flexible hours and from various locations. I would not be bogged down in one office space. And I realized that for the future I want to create for myself, this is very important to me.

When the pros and cons have been listed – the next step is to weigh the pros and cons to reach a final conclusion. The result of measuring the pros and cons against each other is dependent on what principle/value system you use to determine the importance of each point. I use the principle of what is best for all. This means that the decision is not only about me. I must take into account how my decision will impact others. And with regards to some decisions, it will impact a few people negatively, while it will impact myself and a few others positively. At times it is not obvious which decision is the best. In such instances it can be of support to ask someone else for perspective or do a test-run. For example, if the decision is about moving, to then see whether it is possible to move for a short time only to experience the difference.

With regards to decision I am faced with, my family is an important dimension to look at. How does my decision and direction effect my daughter or my wife? Because even though a particular venue and career path can be my passion and hearts desire, it is not necessarily the path that will lead to the greatest and best outflows for everyone involved. Thus, I do not agree with the current popular idea that we should at all times ‘follow our hearts and dreams’ – reality and the outflows of our decision must be considered and take primacy. And even though we ourselves might feel good about the outflows of a decision – the potential physical and mental consequences we could or will inflict on others will most certainly outweigh that positive state we ourselves could reach.

When I have walked through the above mentioned steps, I am ready to make a decision. I pick the option that I see is best for all. And then comes the challenge of sticking to and living by the decision, however that topic deserves a blog post of its own.


 

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