Day 386: Some Points On Structure

A cross-reference that I use to see when I am opening up new words/expressions is urges to buy things. When such desires arise within me, nearly each time, it is because I am living/creating a new word/expression within me, and because I have not myself recognized and taken charge over the process – the mind steps in and channels the expression that is opening up into the mind – which translates into wanting to buy things.

This time a desire has come up to buy camping equipment, such as rain-clothes, backpack and walking shoes. Initially I was confused as to why I suddenly desired these things. However, slowly, I realized that these things represented preparation, scheduling and structure to me. Because when you go for a camping trip in nature – you have to be prepared – all things must be considered and packed – when you are out in the woods it is too late. Thus you have to make sure that you think about everything beforehand.

I have worked a lot with these words, preparation, scheduling and structure – and with taking care of my daughter and learning to practice law – they have become more significant. For example with my daughter. If we are to go for a trip somewhere – I have to make sure to bring all the things that I need to change diapers, to prepare a quick meal and supply shelter if it becomes to cold. I also have to make sure that I initiate/start at the right time, at the scheduled time, because otherwise it will interfere with my daughters sleeping routines and mess things up. It is pretty intricate, and it surely helps me in my process of learning to apply/live these words in my day to day living.

When I was younger I looked at preparation, scheduling and structure as words that limits and contains me. I understood freedom to be the opposite and I thought that in order to be free, I had to be completely flexible, completely open to anything that might happen, ready to change myself and my mind at any moment. This also suited my, at that time, absent minded personality. It was not difficult at all to only have to consider my needs for the moment. It took no effort and it felt good. Obviously, from what I understand now, freedom is not the absence of structure – and that in order to live in this world effectively – I have to take notice of what is in my reality and prepare/plan/structure my living – otherwise I will walk into unnecessary consequences.

Thus, instead of buying these things that represent my expansion when it comes to structure/planning/preparation/scheduling – I am going to define these words for myself more specifically. Firstly – what I am able to see is that expressing myself as these words requires time – I need to slow down and carefully look at the situation at is ahead of me. I need to study and ponder the various choices I have. Secondly, I see that even though it is not necessary, it is supportive for me to write down my structure/plan/preparation/schedule. If I keep it in my mind, it becomes easily lost or distorted. When I put it in writing – I can remember the details and also discover flaws/issues in my planning.

I also see that structure/planning/preparation/scheduling is a form of meta-application. It cannot be bound to any one form of expression – rather these are supportive or necessary skills to have in almost any type of venture. Furthermore – I enjoy the process of planning/preparing. One example is using an hour or two each week to sit down and prepare for what to eat during the week ahead. In order to do it effectively I have to check what kind of food is available, the duration of each recipe, whether my daughter or wife will be able to eat the food, what kind of tools/utensils that I might need – it is challenging. And the reward comes through later – while doing the actual work – because with a plan/structure – everything becomes so much easier.

I will continue to push structure/planning/preparation/scheduling in my life and see how I can expand my expression/standing with regards to these words.


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