Day 388: Lack of Time – Hell or Gift?

This week has been pretty hectic. A lot to do at work and many things to tend to at home. Time for my own projects and interests is a rarity and action is required when there is an opportunity – else – there is simply not enough time. In a way – it is supportive – time scarcity helps me to act – live – move – and not use my time unnecessarily – for example by indulging in entertainment. It also assists and supports me to push my self-agreement – because now I must find my primary source pleasure and enjoyment in things/activities such as work/responsibilities/chores etc, aka things that I would rather not be doing.

It is challenging, but it can be made enjoyable to live with pressure with regards to time. What makes the difference is how I approach it. The same goes for most type of problems. It can either be an issue – or it can be a gift – it all depends on what I decide to do – how I decide to be in relation to the challenge that is ahead of me. A responsibility can either be a tedious must-do – or an opportunity for me to expand and learn a new skill.

One example that is relevant for me at the moment is housekeeping work. It is very important that this responsibility is tended to. Housekeeping keeps the members of the family fed, clothed, healthy – supplied with a clean and organized environment. Without the basic needs of food, clothing, a hygienic environment – it becomes impossible to live a fulfilling life. Even so – housekeeping tends to be given a backseat. We look at it as a unfortunate necessity – something that we have to do – but that we rather would not like to be doing. It is strange – considering the importance of it. We do not attach the value to housekeeping that it deserves – I usually see cleaning and tending to my house as a nuisance – and a blockage I have to get around in order to move towards the things I really would like to get involved within.

For me – this value dissonance is something that I have created through connecting feelings and emotions to the activity instead of seeing the activity for what it is – and seeing the outflow of and opportunities/gifts existent within the activity. The value of the activity is measured by looking at its outflow – what type of support is created and how many lives are touched. It is impractical to use emotions and feelings to evaluate whether something is important or not – whether something should be done or not. Emotions and feelings are energy – and lacks a clear relationship to this physical reality – they just appear – either positive or negative – and for different reasons – many of us, me being one of them, associate cleaning/housekeeping to a negative emotion.

My problem with housekeeping has to do with my childhood and the relationship my parents had to chores and responsibilities – that I imprinted. My parents associated cleaning with stress, boredom, irritation and forcefulness – when it was time to clean – my mother used to become hard and authoritative – and I used to be ordered harshly to participate in some way. I never experienced housekeeping as fun or valuable – it was instead pictured as a necessary evil – a thing that we had to do – but that we did not really want to do. I also came to associate cleaning with conflicts, anger and irritation. This was because my mother would become irritated at my father because he did not clean as much as she did. It was a mess.

Instead of seeing cleaning as a unwelcome burden it can be experienced/seen as an opportunity to be grateful for and connect with all the various things in my home that supports me in my life. It can also be seen as an opportunity to practice self-movement – physical awareness of my body – where I train myself to move with full awareness of all the details of my physical body. It is also an opportunity to practice specificity and precision. How exact am I able to become in how I structure, define, nurture and care for my environment? How exact am I able to become in my relationship with the things that I own? Do all of the things I own have a clear and specific purpose in my life and do I care for them effectively?

What I have found in my process thus far is that the most support is many times found in that which I resist. Housekeeping is one of those points. It can easily be glanced over. However when I look at the opportunities and gifts that can be lived in this simple and rudimentary task – I see that I have not pursued cleaning/housekeeping the way I could have. There is still a lot to be explored and developed in this area of my life. And that is great – because given my current time constraints – I need to be able to develop enjoyment/expansion in ALL parts of my life – and not only the parts that I naturally enjoy.



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