Day 415: Doom and Gloom

Today I am going to open up a point of fear/anxiety that has been lingering within me for some time. It is the feeling of impending doom – and that I need to have a small does of anxiety/fear constantly in my body in order to be ready to face that eventual chaos that will enter my life.

It is not only the fear/anxiety that is problematic – it is also the outlook that something will fall apart in my life – and that it is just a matter of time until it happens. What happens when I go into such a character is that I become very defensive – in my minds eye it becomes far more rational to build up protections towards all the things that might go wrong – instead of actively looking for solutions – and ways to expand, improve and move forward. There is in particular one aspect of my life where this character comes through the strongest, and it is in relation to money. Somehow money activates this fear and outlook on life with much more intensity than other parts of my life. This outlook on life also contributes to a insecurity and a tendency to hold back when opportunities arises in my life. Instead of going for it, moving forward, and grasping the opportunity, I remain thinking about it, considering, wondering, and then when I have decided, it might be too late.

Thus, I see, realize and understand, that this personality/character is something that must be removed from my life. There is a quote from Lao Tzu that describes the problem and the solution effectively.

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”

Lao Tzu

The mind will have rationales and logical conclusions as to why worry and fear is needed – as to why we have to spice our lives with a bit of negative/destructive thinking in order to see the real picture. Usually we justify our addiction to fear and worry by saying that it is us being realistic. However – reality is what we make of it – reality will shape according to how we interact with it, according to the decisions we make, according to how we approach it, according to how we feel about it. Thus – looking at reality as some inflexible truth that must be understood within a sense of worry and fear – that is not seeing that which is HERE – that is us seeing and confirming our own limitations and beliefs.

And this is a very interesting point in general – the understanding that the observer influence/create the observation or that which is being observed – and that is how we create our reality – not only with our actions – but also through our relationship to the point. An example is the tendency that exists in people in general to feel helpless and pessimistic about creating a change in this world. When solutions or visions are proposed that are strong and revolutionary, this will often be met with the comment that it will not work – because ‘people are the way they are’ or ‘the world is the way it is and nothing can be done about it’. What is not understood is that we are creating such a status quo with our own approach. Simply by stating and feeling that it is not possible – we make it impossible. And we do the same in our personal lives – we give up and give in before we have tried – and we create doom and gloom by regurgitating it within ourselves over and over again.

Thus – this is a point I want to change for myself – and practice approaching the future with creativity. When I see obstacles, instead of going into fear/anxiety and doom/gloom, I instead look at what I can do to, what I can create, and how I can move forward. Because the fact is that there is really no problem that cannot be solved – the solutions might be more or less effective – however there will be a way forward. It is when we resign to our fears, and our doom and gloom, that we will stop and kill our creativity. Most certainly that is why children are so effective when it comes to finding a way forward – they have no doom and gloom – they just look at what is possible to be done and then they do it.

Realism is not the solution to problems – being creative and open-minded on the other hand is. Thus – as part of my process in living the word creative in my life – I will walk the process of being creative in the face of problems, issues, and points that seems difficult to solve. Instead of giving in to fear, doom and gloom, I will find a way forward.


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