Day 433: Stopping Groundhog Day

Groundhog day was a movie made somewhere in the nineties about a person trapped in a day that was repeating into infinity. He fell asleep only to wake up to the exact same scenario. Even though I am not trapped in such a reality – it does sometimes feel like life is similar to groundhog day – and that can be frustrating.

When I sit down to look at this point however, I can see that there is one pattern in particular that keeps me trapped in Groundhog day mode – and that is my tendency to remain in my comfort zones – that – and not pushing myself more to change limiting behavioral patterns. Because even though my reality is pretty much on repeat, wake up, work, go home, sleep, wake up, work, go home, sleep – that does not mean that I have to be on repeat. And there are a couple of things about myself that I accept and allow to be on repeat – that creates this experience of groundhog day.

The two most important aspects of myself that I require to change to get myself out of this rut is my relationship to money, that I still accept and allow to be defined by fear and my movement outwards socially – which is something I tend to compromise due to thinking that it is not important or relevant. However – social interaction and creating new and deepening already existing relationships is one of those things that creates a deep sense of value within me that goes beyond the normal everyday rut. The effect is similar to when I sit down and write like this. My relationship to myself is strengthened and I am able see more and with greater clarity. Thus – those two aspects of my life is something that I want to push and expand. And even though this reality is pretty much locked and defined into limited contexts, there are always room to bond and create new connections – especially since the introduction of social media.

The third aspect that I see is important to bring myself out of groundhog day-mode is to actively work with what comes up within me. Because many times this illusion of ‘same, same, same’ is created by having the same experiences, not necessarily because going through the same kind of situation. In-fact, the situation can be entirely new, however because we interpret it based on our memories, and activate old, repeated experiences connected to those memories, we completely miss the essence of the moment – and we can even believe that the moment is about something different. This is how we live out our memories – again, again, and again – and why time seems to move faster with age. We are full with information – we are all the time engaging and experiencing old memories and never really interact for real with reality – thus we just experience the past repeating. When we were children, we still had room within us to store information, and room/presence to experience reality without relating it to a memory, which made life so much more real.

I can for example remember summer breaks as a child. The time moved slowly. And even though I was not necessarily doing new things every day, there was a appreciation, love and contentedness present that made me see something new in every moment. That is an ability that I have lost as an adult and that I am now working at re-creating – and understanding how I was able to live in such a way as a child and how come I lost it. And my assessment at the moment is that one of the primary reasons is that as a child I did not have memories – I did not associate one moment to another – they were all new and fresh moments that I walked into with fresh and open eyes. And obviously, that was a far superior way of living compared to how us adults live.

Though the problem with children is that they are simply given the ability to live in this way – hence they do not understand how it is created – and that is where I am at the moment – in the process of understanding how to live in every moment without defining it according to my past. And in many ways I have already learnt how to do it – I understand how presence is created and maintained – though – there are still points that I need to push to get back to a sensible state of being.


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