There is a quote from Lao Tzu that I have found very supportive and insightful when things in my reality seems to become shaky:
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
What this quote shows to me is the benefits of letting go of control and expectations. Why struggle to create something that simply does not want to come through effectively? And how many of us do this. We are stuck in life situations that we desperately try to keep moving – and all the while – there is this struggle that underlines every push. What would happen if we let go of our visions and start working with what is real? What would happen if we dare to kill our darlings and look at things with fresh eyes. Sentimentality is a completely unnecessary luggage.
I have seen this clearly when it came to the career I decided upon. The interesting thing was that I initially tried to become a musician. And even though I loved it – there was a struggle, a fight, and conflict existent. It was seldom smooth and effortless and I never got the results I wanted. It was as if there was something off – I could not get through the way I wanted. And then I decided to change direction – and I pursued a profession that I did not particularly enjoy – however – I was really good at it. And when I aligned my vision/future according to my real self and my actual strengths – and even though it was not easy – it was not the same struggle anymore. There was a light in the tunnel. And the results I achieved were very cool and convinced me that I was on the right track. I stopped resisting what was naturally here with me and instead went with it/nurtured and strengthened it.
Animals do this as well. They are most of the times extremely specifically designed to fulfill a particular role in their environment. And no animal tries to actively alter their physical design to fulfill a different purpose in their environment – because for example – they have a dream or vision about it. Animals embrace their physical strengths completely and use them – they do not resist their nature. And that is something many of us humans miss. We think we have to become something different – we compare ourselves – and we use ideas of what is good and what is bad to make decisions. None of that is based on REALITY – on WHO we really are.
Change is part of reality – resisting change is the same as resisting reality. And what happens when we do resist reality is that we create conflict – both within and without. However – this does not mean that we should become followers. Rather – we should become practical and learn to work with what is here to achieve our goals – and to align our goals to reality – and be open to change our direction when something does not work. This is something that I am practicing. And it is balancing act – because being too practical, and too accepting of what is my reality at moment, can also lead to complacency and the creation of comfort-zones. Going with the flow can easily become detrimental if there is no direction – no vision of what we want to create/manifest – and in such a state we can accept less than what we are capable of becoming/doing.
Hence – while I do not want to resist reality – I also do not want to accept reality when it is less than what it can become. And struggles do not necessarily need to indicate that our approach is misaligned – it can be a point we are trying to create that is a big challenge – yet still possible to be created. What it comes down to is self-honesty. We need to listen to ourselves, our hearts, and our self-honesty and also let some doubt in now and again, so that we can question where we are at and what we are doing and if that is what is best.
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