This week I had a big and important meeting scheduled. It was supposed to last for several days and I had prepared myself for many days and hours. However, in a way I did not expect, the meeting was cancelled, and suddenly, all the plans I had created were changed. I noticed within me that I had built up a lot of pressure and energy in relation to the meeting – and when it was called off – I felt this burden lift from my shoulders. My body reacted with tiredness – and the following days I slept several hours more than what I am used to.
Hence – what did I learn from this event? That pressure is something that builds up incrementally and that it has a deep effect on the physical body – and that stress is also built up over time in such a way that I cannot see the heightened level of stress I am in because I have become accustomed to it – the stress have become normalized. It is thus really important to allow time, every day, for self-introspection, writing, self-forgiveness, and other activities that assist and support in letting go of built up energy. One of the best methods is focusing on breath and stopping the thoughts from wandering into the future – instead – one breath at a time – one step at a time.
I have also realized that stress comes up within me when I feel that much is at stake – and that is usually the case when I have a vested interest of some sort; primarily that tends to be money or career related – thus connected to survival. What helps me is to state that whatever the outcome – I will direct the point. Whether I lose my stakes or win the prize – I will find a way forward. I do not need to rely on a positive outcome to move forward – I will move forward regardless of the outcome. I disconnect myself from the stakes and make myself independent of the situation and able to deal with whatever might come. And probably – my fears all arise because I have placed my trust in money instead of in myself.
Thus I have to catch the moments of building stress to stop it from reaching a crescendo where I lose my ability to think clearly, sleep and function effectively. And in order for me to keep me in that stability – I have to check in with myself daily and be on the lookout for the type of thoughts that initiate this build-up. Usually for me these thoughts are about some form of failure or mistake – I will do something that is going to cause everything to fall together – or they are thoughts concerning the ‘What if?’ – what if everything goes badly? What if I do not know what I am going to do? What if? What if?
When it comes to failure – I have came to understand that I must allow myself to fail. It is a natural part of learning and expanding. The worst thing that I can do with failure is to not learn from it. And it is stupid to fear failure – because that is going to make me fearful and careful about venturing out into new opportunities and possibilities. I must embrace failure as a part of my life – because then I will not be afraid of trying new things and doing what I want to do.
And when it come to ‘What if’s?’ I understand that I can explore those endlessly. What does help is to establish the worst case scenario, mentally place myself in that situation and explore who I would be and how I would deal with it. Where would I go? What actions would I take? What kind of emotions and feelings would the situation initiate within me? And then clear all reactions utilizing self-forgiveness – so that if the situation does occur – I am stable within it and I can direct myself.
Pressure build-ups are not necessary if I effectively deal with and release the pressure by consistent and steadfast application. Then I can remain stable and the same regardless of the challenges that comes into my reality.
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