Author Archives: viktorpersson1

About viktorpersson1

I have a passion for life and a burning desire to create a functional world system that will support everyone to make the most out of their lives on this earth. I have attained a Masters of Laws through studies at Uppsala university, Sweden, and I am on my way of completing a bachelor in economics. Though my interest lies with Human Rights law and how this can be applied to shape our future for the better.

Day 455: Warmth

We are approaching the Christmas festivities and for me, the introductory events have already begun. The way Christmas is celebrated in my country of Sweden, is usually by eating a lot of food and drinking alcoholic beverages of different kinds, and then by giving gifts.

I do see Christmas at the moment as an event of gluttony and misplaced joy. However, I also see that there is a potential for Christmas, and these Holidays to become something supportive and worthwhile. The two holidays approaching at the moment is Christmas and New Years eve – and thus – I find this a good opportunity for me to redefine and look at how I am able to utilize these holidays to support myself and others to become the best we can be.

Lets look at Christmas first. For me the thought of Christmas brings up warmth and a sense of belonging and appreciation. The warmth has to do with family, and how everyone gets to together to share each-others company. This is from where the experience of belonging also comes from. I usually feel like I belong in relation to my family – something that is strengthened with the gifts that are given. Appreciation, that is something I relate to the gifts. We show we appreciate the presence by presents.

Hence, warmth, belonging and appreciation. At the moment, these are words that come up within me as feelings, and mostly during public holidays such as Christmas. However, this begs the question, why have I not pushed myself to live these words practically in my day-to-day life – thus creating each-day to become a Christmas in itself. I will begin with looking at warmth.

How I have lived the word warmth thus far

I do not consider myself to be a warm person, at least if by being warm is meant being heartfelt, open and embracing. Those are words I have difficulty expressing. My tendency to be cold, however, is also one of my greatest strengths. I am calculating and precise – though it at times robs me of my ability to create deep, intimate and meaningful relationships with others. In-fact, it is something that I have been afraid of doing – due to the fear of being rejected. As such, within me, there is a constant cynicism – a experience of mistrust – a apprehension and expectation of soon being stabbed in my back. This makes it difficult for me to be warm – because I fear – that by being warm – I am going to open myself up to attacks.

Dictionary definition

1 a : having or giving out heat to a moderate or adequate degree

warm weather

a warm fire

b : serving to maintain or preserve heat especially to a satisfactory degree

a warm sweater

c : feeling or causing sensations of heat brought about by strenuous exertion
2 : comfortably established : secure
3 a : marked by strong feeling : ardent

b : marked by excitement, disagreement, or anger

the argument grew warm

4 : marked by or readily showing affection, gratitude, cordiality, or sympathy

a warm welcome

warm regards

5 : emphasizing or exploiting sexual imagery or incidents
6 : accompanied or marked by extreme danger or duress

7 : newly made : fresh

a warm scent

8 : having the color or tone of something that imparts heat; specifically : of a hue in the range yellow through orange to red

9 : near to a goal, object, or solution sought

not there yet but getting warm

Sounding the word

War-me
Warn
Ware-me
Wear-Me
With-Me
Aware-of-Me

Creative writing

Warmth, it is something that I can push myself to live in my daily life – by practicing empathy and genuine care for others. To when someone shares themselves, to listen to their words, and for that moment, stand in their shoes – to really hear what they are saying – so that I am able to respond with warmth. I have experienced, especially people that work as nurses, to have this ability to be genuinely warm with their patients. What I have experienced inside of me when meetings people with this ability is that when they touch and speak, they really mean it, they are HERE and not in a hurry to get somewhere else. And when they touch, I have felt embraced, seen and cared for. It is like they are able to see they value in me, recognize it, and support it. And that is how I see that I would like to live warmth as well.

Being warm is to be inviting and embracing. Like a warm bath. I love those, I jump into it, and I feel relaxed, I can take a deep breathe and relax – be myself completely – with not worry in the world. And that physical experience of warmth is something that I can use when I live this word for myself. Especially when it comes to myself, I can practice living warmth by relaxing, taking a deep breath, and allowing myself to completely disengage and flow, be invite myself in just as I am, without any conditions.

The sound that I connect with the most is ‘Wear-Me’ or ‘Aware-of-Me’. This signifies that being warm is a recognition of someone of myself.

New definition

Embracing and unconditionally opening myself up to and receiving myself or another without fears

 


 

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Day 454: Making a Bargain

Recently I was discussing with a friend which building contractors he considers to be good and worthy to hire. I shared with him that I had hired contractor ‘X’ to build my house, upon which my friend said that he had some very bad experiences with this contractor. Upon him saying that, I experienced a chill and a fear raising within me. The fear had this content: ‘What if my house is now somehow compromised, and I have paid more money for it than I should have had?’.

The fear that came up within me was thus not so much about my personal relationship with my house, but about how much money my house represented, and whether or whether not that value had been diminished. I found this interesting, because when discussing this point with my partner, it turned out that she too had experienced emotions towards our contractor and the house. Though her experience had to do with how she personally disliked certain parts of the house, and how she felt that if we would have hired a different contractor, she would have had a better experience of herself in the house.

After looking deeper at the experience, and after receiving perspective from a friend, I realized that my fear had to do with missing out on a bargain, or rather, fear of being seen as missing out on a bargain. The thing often forgotten with bargains is that someone is always on the receiving side of the bargain. Hence, for me to get something really, really cheap, someone else must really, really, not get well paid for their work. Most of us are for some reason oblivious to this fact. In our economy it is accepted that you ‘buy one and get one for free’ – though there is not such a thing called free. If we expand our worlds for a moment, we can see that all goods require physical energy/matter – and they require labor to be refined into a final product. If something is given away for free to the end-costumer, this is going to impact the people in the production line and their salaries.

The desire to make a bargain originates from within and as a fear of survival – it is part of this idea/belief that life must be a struggle, where we must fight and make sure that we come out on top. In that context, making a bargain is a win in the race for survival. The problem thus is this innate idea that we must compete, that life is about competition, that life is and must be struggle, that there is no way around it. And when we are able to buy stuff cheaply, we apparently get ahead in this competition.

What is not considered within this is how everyone is connected, and how there cannot be a winner without a loser. Further, what is not considered, is that the idea that life is a competition and that it must be a struggle, is also an idea, imprinted into us since a young age – where we start to believe – deeply and with devotion – that fighting is the only way to get through. However, when we remove the veils of fear, what is left is this physical reality – a physical world that we all inhabit together. And it makes sense if we want to have a world that is hospitable and supportive for everyone, then the first that must go is this idea/belief that we constantly have to fight against each other.

Instead of fighting, instead of trying to make a bargain, the principle with money should be to structure it in such a way that everyone is brought along and is given the necessary resources to survive and live a comfortable and supportive life. And when it comes to hiring a contractor, obviously attention given to and research should be done as to the quality/effectiveness of the contractor. Though the deal that is made, it should monetary wise honor both contracting parties.


Day 453: Dealing With Money

Money, it is a fascinating thing. Not only because it controls so many aspects of our lives, but also because it is a great reflection of ourselves. I have recently faced a couple of situations where I have come face to face with how I value myself, and how this comes through in my relationship with money.

There has been two contexts within which I have faced this point. The first context has to do with daring to ask for money for work that I have done, and the second has to do with daring to ask for a certain quality to be delivered, when I purchase a service or goods.

In the instances when I have been the ‘giver’ – I have been fearful of asking for money. I have also had a tendency to want to devalue myself and the services I offer. I have found that I feel better about myself when I charge less, compared to when I charge a lot. To me, on a deeper level, that reflects a lack of self-confidence and a lack of self-value – where I literally cannot see my own value and thus I do not want to claim more money than I perceive myself to be worth.

Recently I experienced this when I negotiated my salary, or rather, did not negotiate my salary. Instead I accepted my salary. I was satisfied with it, however, it was calculated according to a index that I did not entirely understand. Thus, when it came to actually receiving the salary, I was fearful and anxious about opening up and discussing this point with my boss. Though why would I be? I am not working for free, that is obvious for everyone involved. Still, I want to project a fake image of me not ‘caring’ about the money. Such a way of handling money is most definitely self-compromising – and leads to difficulties. The correction I see here is to dare to be honest and open about the point, discuss it, walk through the conflict and find a solution.

Then the second context, when I am the receiver, it has to do with me fearing to speak up and voice myself when I notice that I receive less value than what I have bargained for. An example of this from my life as of recent is the house I built together with my partner. Parts of the house, I am dissatisfied with, however, when it was built, I feared sharing this with the carpenter – because I did not want to cause a fight. I was fearful about making it all about the money, and being perceived as greedy.

Though, a fact of this reality is that, most things are about the money. Everything has a price. And either, we stand as directive in relation to money, or we just accept and allow shit to happen. Caring for money is not the same as being greedy, rather, it makes sense. In a reality, in a world, where everything is about money, learning to deal with money will make life a lot easier. And if I had stood up and directed my dissatisfaction and opened up a line of discussion with the carpenter, many parts of the house would have been more effective. Thus, I spared myself from the momentary discomfort of having a conflict, though I caused myself a long-term hassle, because now I live in a house, day-out and day-in – which I am not entirely satisfied with.

Money, it is funny – why do we make it such a big deal? Where I live, it is seen as dirty to have a lot of money. We do not talk about money, and many live simple lives, even though they might be really rich. However, only because we try to portray ourselves as humble and simple when it comes to money, I would say, that in the core, we are just as greedy and hungry for more, as everyone else. However, we are able to suppress it. Unfortunately, that causes us to be inefficient in dealing with money, because we push away conflicts and disagreements – and hope that everything will sort itself out for the best without our involvement. That SELDOM happens.

And that is something I have come to see recently – that being passive and hoping for things to pan out nicely – it does not work. If I see a direction that is best, it is my responsibility to push through and make that direction a reality. In the past, and especially when it has come to money, I have held myself back from doing that, and later on, I have had to live with the consequences. It might be, that because I am quite easy to satisfy, I have been able to live with the consequences. Though now, I do see how much better things could have been if I had learned and pushed through to direct the conflicts when they emerged. Especially when it comes to money.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dealing with money, and to perceive money as something dirty that I want to disassociate myself from, thinking that money is bad and wrong – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that I also desire/want/feel that I need money in my life – and hence I am creating a conflict within me, where I on the one hand fear money, and on the other hand I desire money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dealing with and working with money – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define money as a evil that I do not want to really concern myself with – within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that with this approach, I am suppressing and shutting out a point in my life, money, which is a really important part of life, hence actually compromising myself – because I am disabling myself from directing/dealing with a important point/part in life – money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize my desire for money, and thus instead of suppressing and trying to deal with this desire by using morality, that I instead focus on understanding my desire, focus on where this desire comes from, and how I can enable myself to change this desire into a common sense relationship with money where it is not about desire or fear – but where it is about using money in a common sense way that is best for everyone involved

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become crazed with desire/want when I receive more money than what I normally have, and want/desire to buy everything that I can put my hands on – and within this use morality/fear to suppress this desire and return to status quo – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not instead understand my desires, to understand my fears, to learn where they are coming from, so that I can learn to direct myself and stand stable, and use my money with common sense, instead of using my money within and as fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear talking about money, to fear asking for money for services that I provide and to fear demanding quality for services and goods that I buy – to fear having money as a topic that I bring up and discuss with others as a important part in my decision making process when it comes to making decisions and directing myself in life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from the topic of money through pretending that everything is fine and okay – and through being ashamed and fearful when it comes to discussing and talking about money – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for example haggling when I purchase things – to fear demanding a higher price when selling something – to fear being completely open and at ease with dealing with and discussing money with others and as such empowering myself in this part of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about money, and desire money at the same time, and thus put myself in a limbo, where I am in a constant thought-process/movement in relation to money – instead of effectively dealing with/using the money I have, or learning to do so, in stability and with common sense – where I do not worry not having money, and neither do I desire having money, but where my relationship with money is instead clear, specific and stable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need and require fear to be effective with money, and that it is supportive to be shy and nervous around money, because apparently, it protects me from poverty, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that pretending as if money does not exist is not a solution and it will not mean that all my money problems suddenly, from one day to the other, will disappear – rather – a more effective solution would be to learn to use and direct money effectively without emotions clouding my vision and ability to act and deal money effectively

Self-commitment statements

When and as I notice myself going into fear with regards to dealing with, being direct with money, and I want to hide away, and suppress myself, I immediately take a breath, I stop myself and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that becoming shy and fearful about speaking about money does not support me to effectively direct my money situation, rather it makes me less effective, where I hide and hope that things will go away by themselves, instead of taking the bull by its horns and speaking it as it is – and thus I commit myself to practice being direct and open when it comes to money – to discuss the issues and do it here and not try to project and show off a facade that is not even real to begin with


 

Day 452: Changing Another Does Not Work

What if we would never compare ourselves to another? What if, instead of spending our time thinking, wondering, dreaming, considering what others are doing, thinking or feeling, we invested our time into our own life? What if we made it our purpose to use each day fully to CREATE ourselves, so that we can be, the best that we can be. I imagine that life on earth would be wholly different if we did.

Currently, so much of our time is vested into thinking about the lives of others. We compare, want things to feel fair, desire others to be to us in a certain way, and because of that, we forget about our own participation. The focus is so much out there, where we perceive everyone else as the point to blame, as the reason for our lives not being the way we want it to be. However, I would argue, that this is all a strategy we use to not have to face ourselves. Because our own shit, that is tough, and that requires guts. It is easy to think that someone else is at fault, it is a lot harder to recognize how we as well are responsible for how things turned out.

Blame and anger. These are emotions that eats away at us. We might believe that we are standing up for ourselves when we decide to hold unto our anger against another. We might believe that we are doing the right thing when we catch another, and release our bent up irritations unto them. Though, at the end of the day, such inner conflicts and such outer conflicts, spurred by emotions, they never lead to anything constructive – instead there is more conflict, more emotion, more anger, resentment and hate.

What is forgotten is that the world is our mirror, and that what we feel about the world, that shows us something about ourselves. If we become pissed off at someone, because we feel that they are taking something from us, that only shows that we have an issue about that as well. Attacking the mirror does not help alleviating the conflict within, instead we have to turn inwards, and look at the source of everything.

While it might feel supportive to spend our time trying to change another, it is never realistic. I have never been able to change anyone. A few times I have supported another to change themselves, though, those few times, I have been completely stable and there has been no hidden agenda. The times I have had a hidden agenda, its not been possible to come through at all. We all know when we are being duped, and we do not want anyone to get into our heads – hence we will push them out. Thus, instead of trying to change my reactions by changing others, I know go directly to the source. And when I am stable, many times I have realized that it has not even been about the other, it has been all about me.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change another because I am reacting, instead of pushing and willing myself to change the reactions I have towards them – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how wanting to change another is a form of escapism, a way of trying to forget about myself and my process, make things easier for myself, to not have to see in what way I am responsible and how I am creating what is going on within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is always easier to take back responsibility to and as myself, to commit myself to look at how I am creating the point within me, and then to utilize the tools to support myself to get out of my rut – because I see that I can never move myself by trying to change another – by attempting to impose my idea of what would best for another to do – because I have to change myself – that is the only way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I am a individual – that even in a relationship/agreement – I am still a individual and I am not a pair – and thus any form of change/movement is my responsibility – and it is never something that I can put unto another – I have to live it/do it/walk it for and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my process of self-change/movement/direction – by placing my focus and attention on what my partner is doing and what my partner should change and what my partner should do differently – instead of me placing focus and attention on myself and my process and what I must do/live/create in order to make my life and the lives of others the best that it can be – and thus I see that placing focus unto me is self-empowering – because it is with myself that I have direct effect – here I can push for solutions/push for a way forward – and where I do not have to rely on another to be the way I want them to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do the changes that I see I have to do – and thus not focus on whether I perceive another is changing or not – as that only slows me down – that puts my focus unto stuff that I really cannot do anything with anyway –  and thus I commit myself to place my focus where it will make a difference – which is on myself – when I am focused on MYSELF and MY LIFE – MY WEAKNESSES – MY STRENGTHS – then I empowered and ready to make the changes that I need to progress and move forward

Self-commitment statements

When and as I am trying to change another, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that when I am trying to change another, I am missing myself, missing the point where I have power to actually do something, because with others, I do not have that power, in-fact, I cannot change another, and thus my effort and focus is wasted – the real place where I should put it – where it will be of value/support – is on myself – and thus I commit myself to focus on myself – to live that practically through applying self-forgiveness when a reaction arise, consistently writing and redefining words, and walking my process practically – and to when I have a problem – first of all – bring it back to myself to see whether I am able to find a solution


Day 451: Why I Persist

One thing that I have found in my process is that they key to self-change is found in the basics. And with the basics, I am referring to the basic tools of self-change presented by Desteni: Writing, self-forgiveness, self-commitments, breath and corrective application. These are the five most potent tools that exist for self-change. They might seem too simple, however, that is what makes them effective. These tools can be applied almost everywhere and at any time – and with them the depths of self can be explored in detail. This is the reason why I have continued to use these tools now for soon a decade. With them I can change and become what I see is BEST for all – and consequently best for ME.

Unfortunately, many who join Desteni and begin to use the tools, have a expectation to achieve noticeable results faster than what is possible. The Desteni process and the offered tools however is a long term process. It will not move fast due to the simple reason that real and substantial self-change takes a lot of time. It also takes much discipline and effort. And regrettably, process is mostly not what I would call fun – it is not entertaining – it is instead challenging. Thus to stick with process and use the tools for the time required to see lasting results, for me, that has required a clear goal. I have derived the contents of my goal from a remembrance of my years as a young child. During those years I experienced myself fulfilled and free – and since I became older – I have desired to go back to that state of innocence and self-confidence. I realized early on that by using the Desteni tools I would be able to remove the emotional/feeling clutter hindering me from yet again returning to that state. Thus one of my goals, and what has pushed me to continue and return to the basics, has been that I have wanted to return to innocence – and live a free and fulfilled life.

Another goal/vision that I have held within me and that have motivated me to stick with the tools has been my desire to have a world that is best for me, best for all, and my desire to be part of creating that new life. This desire to achieve a significant change is something that I have returned to when things have gotten tough. I do not want to settle for what works. I want what is best – and giving myself to the purpose of creating what is best brings me real satisfaction. Living a life where only I, alone, reap the benefits is for me empty and without substance. To only care about what success I am able to achieve, it does not mean anything to me. I prosper when I am able to feel that what I am doing is contributing to upgrading life, and that I do when I sit down to write, when I apply self-forgiveness, and when I implement my forgiveness through correcting myself in a real time moment. That is having DIRECT effect.

The big difference, when comparing the Desteni process to other tools/theories/processes for self-change available, is that the Desteni tools are practical and concrete. In spirituality, issues are many times given a abstract solution. For example, lets say that a person suffers from social anxiety. In spirituality, a solution given could be: ‘You need to open yourself up more to the love in others and not fear meeting the unknown’. Though here it becomes problematic when applying this solution in physical reality – because how do you practically live ‘opening yourself up’ – how do you practically ‘not fear meeting the unknown’?

Here the Desteni tools, when used properly, instead give a practically applicable solution. To deal with social anxiety the following solutions could be applied: Write about the fear, investigate how it was created and apply self-forgiveness on the memories/energies associated with interacting with others. Then, to change the fear practically, start looking into the eyes of others, walk with a straight back, push your chest outwards and your shoulders slightly back, and breathe deeply and practice relaxing your muscles when fears comes up in social situations and start talking/interacting with the people there. There is a clear difference between spiritual/soft solutions and the direct concrete solutions that can be realized by utilizing the Desteni tools. And I have experienced marked sense of self-empowerment each time that I have been able to solve my issues, not only mentally, but also change my practical reality by changing how I interact with it.

And these are some of the reasons as to why I have kept on using the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements, and self-corrective application, why I have persisted and stuck with the Desteni process, throughout the years. It has been a way for me to make the best of my life – and I am convinced that these tools would be able to benefit everyone and assist and support in expanding LIFE and in realizing our full potential.


Day 450: Changing The Cultures At Work

Recently I quit my job and moved unto a new employer, with new office, new colleagues, new routines, and a new culture. It has been very interesting, primarily, because I have been able to observe the difference in culture.

At my first job, there was a pressure and stress to the atmosphere. There was a lot of animosity under the surface, irritation because of changes in the organization, or just general dissatisfaction with the amount of work that was pressuring the employers. There was also this interesting tendency to reward/look positively at putting in long hours at the office. It was seen as good to work more, and I found myself, on a couple of occasions, competing with my colleagues about who was working the most. When I look back at it now, I find it fascinating, because there is absolutely no value in merely working – the focus – should be on the RESULT. If the result is dependent upon working more hours, then it might make sense – however if the result is instead dependent on the QUALITY of work put in – and not the quantity – then it does not make sense to put in more hours than what is needed.

Another point that was quite noticeable at my old work was the hierarchical structure and the competition existent between some of the co-workers. And mostly, the competition had to do about achieving a higher standing in the eyes of those higher up in the hierarchy. Many times this created a tense atmosphere, which led to mistakes being suppressed and withheld, rather than being opened up and discussed. Consequently, information sometimes got lost, and the organization as a whole lost strength.

Though, the most compromising point existent at my old office must have been gossip. It is a very destructive habit. It creates separation between individuals, it separate groups, creates many misunderstandings, and assumptions. Gossip, while it might sound as if a problem is being discussed and opened up, it is only a way of immersing oneself in emotions while attempting to destroy another and get backing from others to feel justified about it. Gossiping is cowardly and should not be allowed in any office. For a organization, gossip is like a illness. I would imagine, that the same organization, free from gossip, would be able to perform with 100 % more efficiency. However it is very difficult to do, because gossip easily becomes like an addiction. Then we become addicted to our problems as well, because they offer us opportunity to bring up our gossip and have others join in.

Hence, the big differences thus far that I have noticed, is not so much in the description of the work, but more in the culture existing at the office – and it is fascinating the impact that this culture can have on how the work is experienced. And culture is not something that is easily changed. In-fact, there are organizational experts and motivational speakers specialized in only changing the culture/the general approach of the employees of a workplace – and in most of the cases without much success. The reason for that, as I see it, is simple. It has not yet been effectively understood how the culture, the accepted and allowed set of behavior in a office, is created – and that employers must put in A LOT more resources into working with/directing the underlying problems that the employers have that come through as for example gossip.

One practical correction that I have applied at work in order to support myself to be more effective has been to push myself to be professional – to keep my relationships and myself directed and targeted at and towards fulfilling the goals/responsibilities of the organization. To do that, I have pushed myself to keep in my mind a overview – to see not only my own personal life – but to as well see how my position, and the actions I take in my position, influence and effect others. Doing that, I have also come to see the value in what I am doing. And due to this personal relationships has become less important, in favor of prioritizing fulfilling the responsibilities I have.

On a final note, I want to add that, when it comes to office politics and work environments, even though it might feel like we cannot change them, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of us taking back the initiative and ACTING. We cannot wait for others to change – if we want a different atmosphere – we have to create it – and that always begins with ourselves. If we want less gossip, first we must make sure that WE do not gossip. If we want less stress and more structure – then we must first make sure that WE live and create that for ourselves – that we stand as an example. And I have experienced this at my past work place – things do change when I change. As such, blame is NEVER valid – we always have the power and capacity to do something about our situation.

 


 

Day 449: Taking My Surroundings For Granted

I talked with a neighbor not so long ago. He shared some of his history to the place where we are living. He said that he felt so privileged to be able to wake up each day and interact with this environment. As I listened to him I could see what he was saying and also that I have been taking my house, my environment, the basics of each day, for granted in may ways. Thus, my neighbor inspired me to look into this tendency of mine, to take things for granted.

I have realized that my tendency is to take the basic things in life for granted. Such as the environment where I live. I live far out on the country-side – our house is surrounded by fields and trees, and not so far away is a fresh water lake. It is marvelous and it has been very supportive for me to live here. It has assisted and supported me to slow down, to ground myself, to become more stable. And, it has offered me many opportunities to expand on my interest in nature and in handcrafting. However, even though it is pretty amazing, I still take it for granted from time to time.

The primary reason that I have found as to why I take it for granted is because I become too involved in the thoughts in my mind, the useless, daily conversations taking place inside of my head, that lead nowhere. Instead of smelling the fresh air, and allowing my eyes to seep in the colors, and my ears, the sound, of this rural environment, I start to think about shit, that is of no relevance. An example would be, how I start to think about my job; am I doing it good enough? Or that I start to think about my future; am I at the right place in life? Should I be doing something different? Am I doing enough? Am I missing something?

There is really SO MUCH shit that we can spend our time thinking about. And it is quite fascinating that we do not see how insignificant and pointless these processes of thinking are. Where do they lead? Seldom anywhere, because just after we have started up one line of thinking, a new oe will appear, taking us into a different direction. There is really no coherence, consistency or common sense in how the thoughts in the mind move – it is a constant chatter – that have no practical value when it comes to living and participating in reality.

Thus, I want to push myself to not accept and allow this mind chatter, to not accept and allow this mind chatter to get in the way of me enjoying and participating in the beautiful place where I live. Because it is not possible to make the most of where I am at, if my attention is elsewhere, if I am instead in my mind, trying to figure out the next step, or the ‘right’ step. Fact is that, in my life at the moment, everything is set up for me to be able to slow down, and start enjoying/living/being part of this world. Thus, it is fascinating to see how small things become enlarged in the mind, how perspective is lost, and that what matters, and what is important becomes forgotten or diminished.

And then, what can be asked, is where I do the same in relation to other responsibilities/aspects/parts of my life? Where do I accept and allow irrelevant issues to cloud my clarity, my direction, my experience and living/taking part of my life fully. Small shit takes too much time, too much energy, too much life – it takes us too much away from life HERE – and it is HERE where our attention should be. Life is HERE – and it will not emerge suddenly, one day, when we have been able to find solutions to all of that clutter. Life is HERE and it will emerge when we make the decision, and decide to walk the process to make it happen.

 


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