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Day 455: My Compass When It Comes To Money

What is my compass? My direction? My meaning in life? Why am I here?

I was asked this question and it was difficult for me to answer it. For a long time my purpose has been to walk my process of self-change – to learn to express and share myself to my fullest. And this is still true. If it is one thing I know, it is that I really want to walk my process and do that properly. Yet still, my mind is pulling me in many other directions, and one of the more alluring paths is the path of money and consumerism.

It is easy to fall into the money trap – when you have money you fall because you want more and when you have none you fall because you cannot think of anything else. And then we become blinded to what is here before us – and blinded to what matters – because all we can think of and care about is money.

For me, this drive and urge to be successful with money stems from comparison and from looking at what others do and how others live their lives. It was easier when I was younger to see and know my path because I was not as involved in the money system – I had made a decision to be an outsider and enjoy life without caring too much about it. Now I have stepped into the system and I am part of it everyday – and when I see the life of others, it influences me – or rather – I allow it to influence me.

I want to reach a point within me where I am in this world but not of it – where I can walk into the money system and earn the money I need to survive without becoming engrossed with it and compromised in my integrity. That is hard to do – and to support me I need a purpose/clarity/direction in relation to who I am and what I am really doing in the system – that can function as my compass – my map when things get blurred.

What is my compass in relation to money and the world system? The way I see it – I participate with money in order to support myself to walk my process – I need a stable environment – I need a stable world – that allows for me to focus on myself and utilize the tools of self-creation – that gives me time to write, time to introspect, time to read, and time to share my process of self-creation with others. Money supports my process.

I also participate in the world system to share myself and my expression and to give of my skills and talents to others – to share myself with the world. This is some of the most rewarding and enjoyable aspects of working – when I see I can make a difference in the lives of others.

I also participate in the money system to be able to give those closest to me a supportive, stable and enjoyable life. And to give money to organizations and groups that I believe will make a difference in this world that is best for all. Such groups need donations to flourish – and if everyone would have given some of their money to those that are in need – we would have a very, very different world.

That is my reason and compass at the moment that I will use and look back at when things get hectic and I forget what is real and what is not – and my mind starts shifting into consuming, buying and forging a lifestyle out of comparison and jealousy.

Why Not Try a GUARANTEED INCOME ECONOMY – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 839

An Artists Journey To Life

GeoAI: A prescription for COVID-19 prediction -- GCN

I have received one installment of ‘CERB’, one of the many government programs rolled out to support individuals affected by Covid-19. It is to be determined whether or not I will qualify for any more, or any other program, and at this stage I am taking things, day by day, week by week, month by month just like so many others out there.

I am a full-time professional artist and it will be interesting to see how this industry will be affected by the pandemic.

Actually I bet a lot of people are thinking the same thing about their own jobs/industries.

What is interesting is that there is no way of knowing for sure and everyone is kind of just walking in the moment and figuring things out on the fly.

Over 10 years ago now I was introduced to the concept of an ‘Equal Money System’. It was the…

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Day 450: The Death of the Consumer Culture

I have lately been moving myself away from the constant news coverage around the Corona virus and instead I have been focusing on practical work. Today I repaired my washing machine and my shoe shelf – and I planted seeds for the coming vegetable season. Practical work is extremely supportive when it comes to grounding the mind. When you work with the earth, you cannot move faster than what your body is moving. You have to do one thing at a time and you have to be HERE while doing it. And even though there is such a mess in the world right now, nature, earth, and the environment is still here, it is still supporting, still providing oxygen. And how easy is it not to take that for granted? Yet without natures support, we would not be here at all.

Tending to the environment, to things, to plants, it replenishes me and makes me proud. And that care for my environment is something that carries on to my relationship with myself. I wonder how much of the things we have created throughout time, the machines, the tools, clothes, that we could still use if we would have cared for them properly. However, the current way of using things is to wear them out and throw them away. And many times that makes more sense money wise because it takes more money to repair and tend to old things than to buy new things. And the economy is built around consumption – literally consuming things – instead of using them with care and respect.

The economy has not always been based on consumption. It is a pretty new behavior that was programmed into human beings after the Second World War. Before the age of consumption we bought less, the things were of better quality, and we tended to repair them and use them until they had been used up. Compared to today, we use things for a while, until there is a new model, and then we buy that, not because we really need the new things, but because want to own a new thing, because we have allowed ourselves to be manipulated by marketing and PR that promotes the idea that we need to consume, buy, own more, to be satisfied.

And reflecting this state of useless consumption is the level of personal debt, that has sky rocketed. Today personal debt is common place and accepted as normal. However, should we really be indebted? We have pushed the industrial revolution so far, we can manufacture products with only small portion of human involvement and on gigantic levels, yet still most of us are indebted. And maybe this is because we have created a debt to earth – we have consumed too much without care and respect for the resources that went into creating that particular thing. It reflects our reckless use of what has been given to us freely.

Thus, with the Corona virus, demand has been plummeting. That is not a bad thing. Most of our demand is manufactured and does not spring from a real need. Thus – let us embrace this new economy where demand equals what is needed and not what is created through manipulation of the human mind to desire all kinds of unnecessary shit.

Day 445: Stand Still and Time for Reflection

Lately part of my life has been circling around the Corona virus and in particular the effects it has had on society and on myself on a personal level. For me this virus shows us people just how vulnerable and connected with the rest of the world we are. We cannot pretend that we are all powerful creatures and that we can do whatever we want believing there will not be any consequences. It is clear that earth is changing, nature is changing, there are now clear effects that flows from our actions and inactions.

The virus pandemic is in part caused due to our destructive behavior towards nature, where we constantly grab more land to be inserted into our economy, leaving none for the wild animals and plants that are needed in this world to keep stability and equilibrium. It is specific that the virus jumped from a wild animal to a human. It was a way for the virus to survive when its own natural habitat became threatened. And now, it has all the habitat it needs, as it has free access and roam to the entire human population.

We really need to stop this notion that things just happen, that virus infections just starts to spread. Everything is specific and this virus tells us that we need to have a look at ourselves. As human beings we have a role as custodians to fulfill on this earth, we could step into the responsibility and commitment to take care of earth and the animal kingdom, yet, we simply have not been able to consider anything else but our own survival and expansion. Thus, that is what we will experience, that will be our consequence. Now we get to experience how it is when a virus, set on its own survival, will duplicate and spread itself, and kill, in order to remain alive. How does that feel? That is what nature and the animal kingdom has to go through every day because of our desire to expand and have more, and more.

Our system has stopped for a moment, markets have crashed, and people look at it as an enormous tragedy. However, is it really that? Have we actually lost something of value? This entire system is not good for anybody. It does not serve life, it does not serve what is best, and there has never been any real passion and drive to create a better world for everyone. Thus, as I see it, we have lost nothing of value. In-fact, this virus has inspired people to become self-sacrificing and benevolent. Politicians are rushing to take economic actions that will save the ecosystem of their countries. People are trying their best to support one another to make it through the crisis and nature is replenishing herself because the meat grind of capitalism has finally halted. Those are good things. Finally some changes are being forced unto humanity.

If we want a stable world for our children, we need to change ourselves, and we need to change our system. Pandemics like the Corona virus will continue to spread and become increasingly hostile unless we do something. The solution is that we take responsibility and step into our creative potential – and decide to make this world BEST FOR ALL instead of just a pleasurable place for a few lucky individuals that happen to have all the money. We need equal money for all, we need a basic income, we need economic changes that put an end to this holocaust, where people and nature becomes the prey of greed.

Day 433: Stopping Groundhog Day

Groundhog day was a movie made somewhere in the nineties about a person trapped in a day that was repeating into infinity. He fell asleep only to wake up to the exact same scenario. Even though I am not trapped in such a reality – it does sometimes feel like life is similar to groundhog day – and that can be frustrating.

When I sit down to look at this point however, I can see that there is one pattern in particular that keeps me trapped in Groundhog day mode – and that is my tendency to remain in my comfort zones – that – and not pushing myself more to change limiting behavioral patterns. Because even though my reality is pretty much on repeat, wake up, work, go home, sleep, wake up, work, go home, sleep – that does not mean that I have to be on repeat. And there are a couple of things about myself that I accept and allow to be on repeat – that creates this experience of groundhog day.

The two most important aspects of myself that I require to change to get myself out of this rut is my relationship to money, that I still accept and allow to be defined by fear and my movement outwards socially – which is something I tend to compromise due to thinking that it is not important or relevant. However – social interaction and creating new and deepening already existing relationships is one of those things that creates a deep sense of value within me that goes beyond the normal everyday rut. The effect is similar to when I sit down and write like this. My relationship to myself is strengthened and I am able see more and with greater clarity. Thus – those two aspects of my life is something that I want to push and expand. And even though this reality is pretty much locked and defined into limited contexts, there are always room to bond and create new connections – especially since the introduction of social media.

The third aspect that I see is important to bring myself out of groundhog day-mode is to actively work with what comes up within me. Because many times this illusion of ‘same, same, same’ is created by having the same experiences, not necessarily because going through the same kind of situation. In-fact, the situation can be entirely new, however because we interpret it based on our memories, and activate old, repeated experiences connected to those memories, we completely miss the essence of the moment – and we can even believe that the moment is about something different. This is how we live out our memories – again, again, and again – and why time seems to move faster with age. We are full with information – we are all the time engaging and experiencing old memories and never really interact for real with reality – thus we just experience the past repeating. When we were children, we still had room within us to store information, and room/presence to experience reality without relating it to a memory, which made life so much more real.

I can for example remember summer breaks as a child. The time moved slowly. And even though I was not necessarily doing new things every day, there was a appreciation, love and contentedness present that made me see something new in every moment. That is an ability that I have lost as an adult and that I am now working at re-creating – and understanding how I was able to live in such a way as a child and how come I lost it. And my assessment at the moment is that one of the primary reasons is that as a child I did not have memories – I did not associate one moment to another – they were all new and fresh moments that I walked into with fresh and open eyes. And obviously, that was a far superior way of living compared to how us adults live.

Though the problem with children is that they are simply given the ability to live in this way – hence they do not understand how it is created – and that is where I am at the moment – in the process of understanding how to live in every moment without defining it according to my past. And in many ways I have already learnt how to do it – I understand how presence is created and maintained – though – there are still points that I need to push to get back to a sensible state of being.

Day 422: Directing Me Regardless of Environment

Today I was with my partner and my daughter at a big furniture ware house. We decided to eat at the restaurant in the store, which was very crowded, and filled with young children and their parents. The noise level was many times above average, and the general atmosphere was chaotic, with people and children moving about in all directions, with their trollies filled with furniture and various paraphernalia.

I noticed within myself that I became frustrated and irritated with my environment. Compared to my home, on the country side, which is most of the time serene and calm, the store felt like a war zone. I felt as if I was being sapped of my energy, and backchat emerged, where I blamed the people around me for going to this furniture store, for not being more quiet, and for being so intent upon buying more furniture.

Thus, my problem in this moment, was that I reacted towards the environment, resented it, judged it, and wanted it to change, and be different – my approach was that of having an expactation on the environment and how I wanted it to be – and when it did not fit the bill – I manifested inner conflict. Because, if I would have embraced my environment, flowed with, and allowed myself to be like water, in the sense of not fighting what is here, but rather understanding it, learning about it, and working with it, my experience would have been completely different.

What I did was that I fought and resisted my environment, a correction would be to ENGAGE with my environment, to throw myself into it and PARTICIPATE – through TAKING PART in what is going on instead of wanting my life and reality to be in a particular way before I throw myself into it. In this I would allow myself to see the people in this chaos, to see the children, to observe and get to know what was happening around me, instead of being stuck in a state of judgment.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, resent and fight my environment, instead of embracing it, understanding it, taking part in it, ENGAGING with it, and PARTICIPATING in it – not accepting and allowing myself to half-ass myself through life where I only indirectly interact with what is here through judging and creating ideas about life – however not really LIVING life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace what is around me, and to participate, and push through my initial experiences and reactions, and get to know what is here for real – and thus PUSHING through my routine way of interacting with life – and the way I have related to my reality in the past – to push through and will myself to create a NEW way of relating to and interacting with reality and life – and thus expand myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push through the experience of irritation and frustration, to push through the experience within me that everything is chaotic and beyond my control, to push through and establish myself HERE in reality, and thus relate, express, DIRECTLY, with what is here, instead of merely indirectly through an energy, an emotion of irritation and frustration – and hence I see, realize and understand that there is really LIFE in all parts of this world and existence – and that it is not merely on the countryside – however – to see it – I have to unconditionally push myself through it – will myself to get through and to see it for what it is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is my environment that is to blame for my self-experience – that it is my environment and the life around me that should change and that unless it changes – I cannot change – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself – will myself – to create my life for myself regardless of my environment – to push myself to make the best out of my days – my moments – and not take anything for granted – and not wait for my environment to change – but rather will myself to change in every moment of every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself within me when and as I notice that I am affected by my environment – and make a decision to change myself and direct myself and do so regardless of what is happening around me – and thus not wait for my environment to change – but rather push and will myself to change

Self-commitment statements

When and as I notice that I am being affected by my environment, in the sense of feeling that there are too many loud noises, too much movement, to much happening, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I must be the one that decides who I am, and push myself to live what I see is the best version of myself, and this is not something that I can limit to what my environment is doing or existing as – as then I will always be in waiting mode – and never in action mode – where I move myself forward to effectively deal with my life; and hence I commit myself to CHANGE and live WORDS and do so regardless of the state of my environment – to thus – in the instance of this situation – live the word EMBRACE and CALM – and instead observe and participate with my environment – instead of going into a reaction towards it

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Day 326 – Desteni meeting in Europe

Reading this blog – the realization that I had is that eve though it feels tough/hard/arduous to walk the process of self-creation – even though it feels like I am not really getting anywhere in the daily struggles of life – IT IS NOT TRUE – when I am actively walking process through writing/self-forgiveness/self-commitment statements/self-corrective application – I will eventually see change – it is simply a matter of sticking to my guns and walking until it is done. And the same is true about the world system – even though it feels like it will always remain the same – and there is no end in sight – this is not true – if I stick to my guns and push myself to walk and bring a solution into existence – this is what will eventually come about – PERSEVERANCE.

Thanks for a great blog!

The Unification Of Man

IMG_1833Some weeks ago I was in Brussels, where I met with a lot of people, who are, just like me, walking the process of Self-honesty and 7 years Journey to Life blogs. Most, if not all of these people are also walking the awesome online courses of Desteni I Process.

We were more than two dozens and many other Europeans still could not come, but it was already extraordinary to see and even hug so many people, who are behind these blogs I read and to just enjoy being with them, together.

Well, I knew some of them from previous meetups, but most of them I only knew from what they are sharing online through their blogs and vlogs, articles and videos on their social network profiles – just like me.

By the nature of these writings and videos, which is of self-realization, self-honesty, self-correction and self-forgiveness, the deeper understanding…

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Day 390: Not Enough Time For Process?

What I have been looking at recently is how to make sure that I am walking and moving myself in my process even though there is not as much time for writing and self-introspection as there used to be. I have found that writing is a superb technique for giving myself a moment to stop, to look, and to establish a direction for myself. However, it is not possible to do this the same way anymore, and hence revolution is required, a new paradigm must be shaped.

One way in which I have been able to incorporate process in my daily living is through applying self-forgiveness out loud every time I am driving by myself. Another way in which I have been able to do it is through applying self-forgiveness within myself each time I have a reaction. The next step as I see it, to support myself to make process even more so, a natural part of my life, by practicing the IMMEDIATE CORRECTION after I have applied self-forgiveness.

Thus far I have experimented with LIVING WORDS as a correction after I have applied self-forgiveness, which is challenging and expansive. After I have had a reaction and applied self-forgiveness, I look within myself to see whether there is a word I am able to embody that would assist and support me to change and align my inner experience. Today when I woke up, within me there was a undefined angst, I forgave the experience and looked within, and here I could see the word COMPLETION. Hence – I immediately went into application living the correction – COMPLETION – which I lived through being completely in my body – each part – being complete in myself – hence allowing myself to see, realize and understand that there is nothing more I need and require to chase and achieve – I am complete in my MYSELF here – and this chase and hunt to achieve something more – it is not real.

Hence – even though my life has changed – even though things are different – and there is less time – it does not have to mean that there is less process. Rather – this is an opportunity for myself to push and will myself to really make process part of my entire life – and not accept and allow myself to walk and apply process in but parts of my life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am able to apply and make process part of all my life – that only because I do not have time to write, or apply self-forgiveness out loud, it does not have to mean that I must hold back in my process of self-creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to establish ways, methods, means of walking process HERE even though there is a time constraint – to see, realize and understand that this is a new challenge – where I will have to establish myself even though I cannot walk process the way I used to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that using the excuse that I cannot walk process because there is not enough time is not valid – because the only that is needed to walk process is me – and I am here in every breath – and thus I can push and will myself to make and have process be part of my everyday life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that process is WHO I AM – that it is thus something that I can walk regardless of circumstances – and hence I push and commit myself to walk process in every moment – to walk process in every breath – to make it part of my every step – and to practice living words as an immediate correction in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need things to complete me – that I need certain things to happen in the future to complete me – that I need a certain life to complete me – that I need a certain security to complete – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider and also to not live the word COMPLETION for and as myself – as something that I do to assist and support myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself waiting for process, or defining process as writing, or as applying self-forgiveness out loud, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that process is HERE – that process is my decision to walk and transcend my mind and change myself as who I am and birth myself as a trustworthy and life-supportive individual – that process is something that I can put into and have in my daily living as a constant point of consideration – where I push myself in every breath to apply and live words; hence I commit myself to each time I have a reaction – to take a moment to apply self-forgiveness – and then find a corrective word that I can live – and then live it

When and as I see that I am waiting to be completed by something outside of me, by a thing, or a person, or a activity, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I will never be able to find and achieve that completion by taking someone or something outside of me into my life – rather completion is a decision – it is WHO I AM – and it is lived in every moment – as a decision to stand COMPLETE – to stand FINISHED – to not be separated into thoughts and experiences – but stand as one in the moment and be fully here; and thus I commit myself to practice the word COMPLETE – through bringing everything here – bringing it all back to myself into the moment – into and as my human physical body – and grounding my presence and awareness HERE

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Day 375: Avoiding False Aspirations

There are a lot of highly motivated people in our world, that move themselves with determination and drive, that are entirely focused on achieving some form of goal for themselves. However, there are very few people that have actually considered and picked their goal carefully, or that have formulated their vision within the context of what is best for all. The characteristics drive, determination and focus are thus usually utilized acquire some form of self-interested success that does not hold any value to anybody else but to the one desiring it. Obviously, in some parts of our lives, our aspirations must be, to a certain extent be self-interested due to the set-up of this world system. For example, it is not possible, or at least it is very difficult, to survive, if your aspirations in terms of career are solely to benefit others. Then you will end up volunteering and it will be difficult to acquire the necessary funds to survive.

However, in this blog I am going to discuss this tendency we humans have, that I have found in myself as well, to want to move on and manifest our desires, without ever having questioned the nature of our desires, without having looked into the value of manifesting that desire. Instead it is something that we want to do, because we feel good when we think about it, and that will be enough to propel us forward. Though, what I have seen, is that a goal should also have a value for others. It is not enough to just create things for ourselves and our own pleasure, not in a world where we are interconnected and dependent on one another.

Thus lately when I have had desires come up within me, especially desires connected to wanting to drive and move certain projects, I have asked myself: ‘Okay, cool, though what is the value that will flow from this? Why is it that I am want to do this?’ – and fascinatingly enough – many times I have not been able to pinpoint an actual value – rather it has just been a feeling/experience coming up within me connected to a dream/projection/image that I then feel inclined and motivated to move on. Before, I would have immediately moved myself into action, now on the other hand, I have been able to stop myself, look at the experience, and see the underlying energy – and through that understand that it was not even about the dream/projection/image – it was all about the energy.

Movement in the physical, decisions to create/manifest/build, I have seen that they are best made in stability. It is so easy to become fooled by an experience, and then suddenly believe that this experience is accurately depicting reality. One example of this from my own life has been how I at times have felt an urge/desire to buy books. I have been browsing the web, and checking out various titles, and then imagining how I would read the book, and how that would improve my intellect and my knowledge-bank – hence – the desire/energy/movement that has come up within has been the experience of wanting to expand/grow/move/develop. However, I have bought quite a lot of books in this state of energy, and interestingly enough, I have only but read a few of them. Why? Because reading the book was NOT AT ALL similar to the experience/energy attached to picturing myself reading the book.

What does this showcase? That the physical plays by different rules, and that what we FEEL towards something, does not indicate or reveal that ACTUALITY of that very thing – which is why I found it to be SO, SO important to clarify my decisions using COMMON SENSE. Asking myself the question ‘is this practical to do?’ goes a long way – because through assessing the point of practicality we have already weeded out the most unrealistic hopes/desires/wants – and also – removed the dreams/desires where we think we are creating a value – while in reality we are only fulfilling and following our own self-interested path of development and evolution.

Planning, deciding on goals and what to manifest/create in the future is not supposed to conjure any form of experience – it is supposed to be a physical act of looking at what is here and seeing what can be done and created with what is here in the future – and preferably – what can be created that is best for all. That way, we are not anymore as susceptible to become swept away by the grandiose experiences of hope, excitement and desire in relation to manifesting future goals for ourselves – rather it becomes practical and realistic.

Learn more about this way of living:

Day 370: Equal Regardless of Position

I have recently begun walking through a pattern of fear/inferiority/anxiety in relation to superiors at work. It is an interesting point to look deeper into, because it reveals many parts of how I have set up my mind to function in relation to money, status and position. I have come to realize that it is not really about my superiors at all, it is not about the work at all, the entire pattern is showing me something about myself, and how I have dis-empowered myself, and placed the power to live/express in relation to money, the system, career, into some very narrow and specific physical manifestations.

On a superficial level, the pattern tends to play out as follows: My superior will come around, I will experience anxiety and fear, and become held back and less expressive – and I will over-analyze most things my superior say and many times come to the conclusion that what he or she has said has been some form of insult or hidden critique towards me. That will add fuel to the fire so to speak and increase my experience of paranoia.

Where is this fear coming from? What I have been able to see is that I have placed a lot of value and power into my superiors – I believe that they have the power and initiative to give or withhold my access to money, my ability to create my life and my ability to survive – basically that I need them to stand beside me – and to be there for me for my life to work. I have as such projected my own power and authority to make decisions and move myself in my life unto my superiors – which is a serious limitation.

It is not only a limitation, it is also irrational. Because fact is that I do not need my superiors to like me, to stand beside me, to want me as part of their organization, for me to be effective in this world system – for me to be effective with money – for me to be effective within establishing a career for myself. Sure, if I have an effective relationship with my superior it might make things easier, however it will not determine anything, because the determining factor is ALWAYS myself.

I made it through my university education primarily because of myself, the decisions I made and followed through upon, my determination, my consistency, that was what allowed me to pass my exams and get my current job – and thus – I created my own opportunities. It was not my superiors, and the same goes with my current job – I am the one making sure that I continue to develop, expand and move within the settings of my current job – I am the one pushing myself to go further – nobody else. And thus, I see, realize and understand, that the point I must embrace is that I am responsible for my own life and there really is no other authority but myself. I am the author of my life and nobody else.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project power, authority, control and direction unto my superior – and thus believe that I need my superiors liking in order to make something out of myself, to remain stable in my life, to remain consistent in my life and be able to create an effective relationship with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own power and authority unto the money system, unto my superior, unto my education, unto my teachers, unto my grades and marks, and believe that it is they/them that control my future and how my life will play out – and that I thus must make sure to please and satisfy all of these various characters – thinking that if I do not do that – it will have severe repercussions – and I will not be able to do anything what-so-ever with my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and recognize my own value, power and authority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself as value, power and authority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for someone else to give me a sense of value, and to stand as my point of power and authority – instead me taking on and standing as these points myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life and everything in it will work out when I am accepted by my superior, when things are going smoothly at my job, when I am seemingly accepted by the current system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when I approach life from within and as that assumptive starting point – I am creating consequences for myself – because I am not actively living, directing and moving my life in the direction within which I see that it would best if it moves into – and thus I see, realize and understand that the solution is that I take charge and responsibility for all parts of my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear authority and feel inferior to authority and want to serve authorities so that I can save myself from a bad outcome

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing as an authority and to believe that I am not capable of doing that – and that I need someone else to stand that point for me – that I need someone stronger and more apt to be my authority – thinking, perceiving and believing that I am not able to do it for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not valuable enough to stand as an authority in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not strong enough to stand as an authority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable enough to stand as an authority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have the right to be an authority – that I need someones permission to take up and stand in the role of being an authority in my own life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing as an authority in my own life – in fear that I am going to be attacked, harmed, and excommunicated – that I am going to be forced to leave this world and life behind – because other authorities sees me as infringing on their power

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel safe and secure when I am able to have someone else be an authority in my life – because then I can have them make decisions for me – them take responsibility for me – them be the person that I blame if things do not go as I would like them to go – and hence I see, realize and understand, that this is a limitation – and not in the image and likeness of my full potential

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into fear and inferiority towards my superiors, I stop myself, take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this fear that comes up within me it is limiting me from interacting with my superior one and equal, in a comfortable and easy-going manner – and that in turn limits me from expanding my relationships – and here I see, realize and understand, that the real problem I have is not about my superiors, it is about me and my relationship with myself, where I have come to define myself and my value according to position, stature and money, instead of me trusting myself HERE within and as my human physical body to live grounded and simple – equal with all others physical expressions – thus I commit myself to remind myself that I am the directive principle of my life with regards to career, money and work – and that these are points that I take full responsibility for and do not push over unto my superior – and I commit myself to breathe and ground myself back into my body – into my point of equality – and then practice interacting with my superior as I would with anyone else – as an equal

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