Tag Archives: achievement

Day 382: Achievement and Significance

The way I have decided upon a purpose and direction for myself in life has generally speaking been decided/moved by a feeling of pressure/stress/lack. Today I looked at one of the decisions I have made recently in my life, and I could see that this stress/pressure was part of my starting point – because of this I questioned the decision and decided to look deeper in the motivating factors.

What I could see was the following: My primary motivation was a emotion that ‘I am not doing enough’ – in short a emotion of inferiority, insignificance and insecurity – thus the decision was a way to balance out this inner experience and strive towards a positive polarity. Thus – what I have concluded is that in order to be able to make a decision – I have to first and foremost make sure that I am not driven and motivated by a irrational attempt to make an emotional (negative experience) into a positive experience – because through doing this – I will always be stuck in a loop – walking back and forth between a positive and a negative.

As I reflected on this point today I was able to see that this way of making decisions has in my past resulted in my creating unnecessary conflict and consequences in my life. I have forced myself to pursue and live in ways that have not been in alignment to how my life was in those moments. And I have given up on or compromised responsibilities and projects I had already decided to take on and be a part of because this other thing/decision I decided to walk.

Thus – what I can see is that the solution is to STOP trying to achieve a sense of significance through an experience/energy/feeling – significance – and what is of significance – must be a living and stable word in my life – something that I take with me and live/create every day – not by attempting to invoke feelings – but rather by living it practically and taking action in my daily life with what is already here and with the points/commitments I am already walking.

Further – the negative experience of insignificance and inferiority – these are mostly created by self-judgment and comparison – where I will judge where I am at and then try to become and make something more out of myself to ‘feel better’ – instead of – STOPPING the judgment and comparison – and focusing on making my life significant HERE through actually living it WHOLLY, FULLY and COMPLETELY – not a house divided – but ONE me HERE living and interacting fully.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not doing enough, to judge my life as not significant enough, to judge who I am, where I am, and what I am, and think that I have to become more – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at and define myself from within and as a starting point of comparison – instead of looking at myself and my life from within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move my life from a starting point of comparison – instead of developing self-assurance and self-confidence – and knowing what I want to create and do with myself and my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when my focus is out there, when my focus is trying to achieve a feeling of significance through being meaningful and special in eyes of others, that is when I loose touch with what is real, with real significance, real responsibility, real meaning, and instead, my life becomes focused on experiences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feel special and significant, instead of standing as/living those words practically – and here I see that special – and significance – it is practical words – practical words that can be applied and lived practically in my life through for example – making sure and pushing myself to live and apply words in my life in such a way that I each day find a word – and strive/push/will myself to live and implement it in my daily reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my emotional experience of feeling ‘not good enough’ and try to ‘fix it’ through creating a polarity opposite of ‘being good enough’ – not seeing, realizing and understanding that what I should be looking at is my relationship with and as myself – because I see that this is the relationship that I am projecting unto my world – and that it is not actually becoming significant and special out there – it is about me pushing myself to walk my personal process – pushing myself to change and live in expansive and new ways that are outside of my current zone of comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to ‘be someone’ in order to feel better about myself, feel more important, special, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my value, my significance, my role in this life, according to how much I feel that I am worth to others, according to how much I feel that I impress others, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and live naturally, organically, see, realize and understand that significance is not something that is achieved through convincing others that I am good – significance is something that I live in each moment of breath by actually making the decision to change and move myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hunt for achievements and significance out there instead of looking within and looking at my relationship with myself to see how I am able to live these words within me – to hence understand– that I am projecting these words ‘out there’ because I have not effectively lived and stood as them within me – thus it is still something that I desire and want to happen to me – not something that I have created and lived for and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself looking for achievement and significance ‘out there’ – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I will never find what I am looking for out there in the world, I will never be able to satisfy and please my urges of achieving some form of notoriety, because it is not based on a real, practical, physical life experience – it is me wanting and desiring to fill a hole in my own relationship with myself with some form of experience – thus I commit myself to practically create significance and achievement in my life through living these words practically – significance – by pushing myself to change my personalities and patterns – the who I am – markedly – moving myself to a point of definitive change – where I push myself to life my full potential and be the best that I can be – and achievement – by pushing myself beyond my comfort zones – especially when it comes to changing my relationship with myself and what I will accept and allow – to thus push what I believe myself to be capable of – and walk it through to a conclusion – thus achieving


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Believe In Yourself = A Lie

There are those that say that if you only believe in yourself no obstacle is too great. If you only want it enough, then you’d be able to get it. They say this with such ease, smiling, and it sounds as if it’s actually so, but let’s look at the mathematics of this reality to see whether such a statement is in-fact true.

If you don’t have any money, and you’re not born with any, you have no education, experience, or worth to the economy at all – then you’re fucked. It doesn’t matter how much you believe in yourself, because what the economic system believe in is money, and that you lack. As such you won’t be able to do anything at all – you’re stuck, trapped, and have no chance of getting out of such a position.

Further, if you’re in a desert, and you have no water, no matter how you believe in yourself, you will not be able to manifest water from thin air. Water is acquired through a physical process of time, wherein you have to collect it in some manner in order to drink it – believing in yourself has got nothing to do with it.

What is more sometimes mentioned in this type of statement, as the “believe in yourself statement”, is that there is something inside you – some great force – that if you only give this all of your trust, magic things will happen. Your wish and desire will become true!

This statement, as the belief that there is something bigger, and more powerful than you out there, but also inside you, that will make everything you’ve dreamed of come true, if you only hope and desire for it enough, is also complete self-delusion – and as easily disproven with simple mathematics.

Because let’s take a look at how things work in the economic system of this world; herein you walk out to face other people in a competition for money – what will determine your destiny here isn’t a feeling inside of you, or your belief in yourself, but it’s your luck – as what people you happen to meet, as what education your parents gave you, what survival skills you we’re taught – this is what will determine your success in the system.

And this is easily provable – simply place a baby in the system, a blank arch, and imagine this baby believing in himself, and in the force inside of himself, to make something great out of his life – what would happen to him? Would he get a good job? Would he become rich? Who would he be?

The answer is that he would be at the hands of the system, with no ability to create anything out of himself, or his life, as he didn’t have any survival skills, or resources at all – and so he’s fucked.

This proves that the belief in yourself, and the apparent inner feeling of greatness are lies, and not in anyway responsible for your existence, your life, and how you come to experience yourself in life, it’s all about money – what family you were born in – and consequently what skills, and resources you were equipped with to handle the competition of the economic system.

Thus – delete the belief in the invisible god and realize that the real god is money