Tag Archives: birth

Day 347: Babies

Yesterday I looked at the documentary ‘Babies’ that follows four humans through their first year after birth. Two of the babies featured in the film are from rural areas: Ponijao from Namibia, and Bayar from Mongolia. The two other are from urban areas: Mari from Tokyo, Japan, and Hattie from San Francisco, U.S.

I found the film interesting because it showed the difference between how people relate to babies and parenthood in first world countries, compared to third world countries. And one point that came through clearly was how the first world parents were more anxious, and worried about their babies, and approached the point of upbringing using intellect. For example, in the first world, the parents took their babies to ‘baby-classes’ – which is a couple of parents coming together with their babies, and with the help of a circle leader – the parents then explore a topic together with their babies. In the movie the first world babies sang songs with the parents about ‘mother earth’ for example.

In contrast, the third world babies grew up very close to the ground, and in case of the Namibian baby Ponijao, she literally grew up in the dirt, as neither the hut where she lived, or her environment provided anything else but dirt as a floor. And it was fascinating to see the difference, how Ponijaos mother was very relaxed and did not try to be or do anything more than usual. When Ponijao was born, her mother simply continued the normal day-to-day activities, yet now, taking Ponijao with her at all times. She did not try to educate or teach Ponijao anything from that stressed and anxious starting point that can be seen in first world parents, such as reading stories to make sure that the child gets the necessary vocabulary as fast as possible, so that it will do good in school later on. Instead Ponijaos mother remained stable, and when Ponijao indicated that she was ready to learn something or expand, her mother would naturally and smoothly move herself to show that particular aspect of reality. The development of Ponijao was on her premises, in her pace, not forced, not stressed, not controlled.

From what I can see, us in the first world, we have lost touch with our physical nature to such an extent that we do not anymore trust ourselves to birth and rear children, as a natural expression of ourselves. One of the reasons for this is because our lives has become removed from any deep connection with and understanding of earth. We do not grow our food anymore, or slaughter the animals we eat, we just go to the supermarket and buy what we need. And in the city, we see some trees here and there, however, we seldom get to experience and be part of a wild and expansive nature stretching a far as we can see. We are very protected from the sensations of reality, and thus, we do not create an effective relationship with the physical, and when the body births a baby, which is a natural expression of the physical body, we simply do not know how to deal with it. And try to read books, and figure out how we should be as parents, and make up plans for, and create magnificent illusions of how our future will be, without any real understanding of the physical expression of the body. And what happens when the baby is born? Oftentimes, chaos ensues, as we are brutally awakened by the reality of what it means and implies to have a baby.

If there is something I took with me from this film it is the importance of not approaching childbirth and raising a child from within and as fear and anxiety – not make it anything more than it is – not try to come up with theorems, educational tactics and other intellectual designs. Instead, to approach having a children as something that is natural – trusting the human physical body to do its thing – and then as the baby is here – trusting myself to direct each and every moment according to what is best for all. Understanding that a good education is not necessarily to learn to play a instrument, and three languages fluently, but it might instead be, to simply be with and discover reality, in a comfortable and slow pace. If the baby does not have an inclination towards reading, then why force it? The urge to control always arise from some type of irrational fear, and as a parent, it is very important to not let those fears take a hold, and begin to mold and design, and essentially limit, our child’s life from within and as those fears.

Childbirth and taking care of children are all natural parts of the physical – and us making such a big deal out of it only goes to show that we have separated ourselves from the physical – instead of standing one and equal with the physical – and walking the process of birth and parenting HERE – within self-trust.

 


Check out the following interview on parenting
https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-1

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Day 331: Why We Should Reinvent Our Childhood

“Compared with adults, children do not yet have the ability to see a self that extends temporally into the future. This, however, is not a liability, but rather an asset that allows them to view their future without gloom and fully enjoy the present feelings of happiness. That is why the children of the world can look happy so long as they are happy in the present.”

― Yoichi Sakakihara, M.D., Professor of Ochanomizu University

Childhood, I remember that as a time in my life that was thoroughly enjoyable. Obviously, that is not so for everyone, as childhood can also be a terrible experience. However, as children, undoubtedly we do have an ability to live in the moment that surpasses that of any adult. I remember when I used to visit new places as a child, for example a forest, being sensitive, attuned, and completely in the present moment, it was an adventure without comparison. All my senses were active in experiencing and interacting with this new environment – and that ability to be FULLY here in the moment was what contributed to creating that almost magical feeling of adventure and astonishment at the small moments, that by adults were perceived as insignificant or completely missed.

This skill disappears as we age, and that is sad, because obviously, we as adults also need that sense of adventure and fulfillment in our lives, else, we simply become like robots, walking around to our next appointment, doing our thing, without really knowing why. From my perspective, and from what I have found, the reason why we loose this ability to be in the present moment is because we compare what is here to what has been, we actively use our experiences and memory-bank to define and give points to our current reality. This use of memory to interact with reality also dulls our senses and makes us less sensitive and attuned to the present moment. We thus miss so much of reality, because we are busy in our mind evaluating what is here, instead of LIVING with what is here.

One clear example of this is how adults tend to judge weather such as rain, storms, cold, and similar, as ‘bad weather’ and enter a gloomy experience, and oftentimes complain at the weather. What children do with bad weather is that they embrace it and allow themselves to experience and be part of and explore that particular moment of weather. For example, rain becomes an adventure without likes, as rain offers pools of water, and different animals come out from their hiding places to get moisture and look for food. Children hence know and apply one thing in their lives that we adults tend to miss, it is not about where we are, not about what we are, not about when we are, it is about WHO WE ARE – basically meaning that – we DECIDE what our present moment will be like – either a moment of presence/interaction/connection with the physical – or a moment of existing in our mind comparing what is here to what we would like it to be like.

As adults we look for life in all the wrong places, because we have forgotten that point of presence which we embodied as children. Life will not ever be born through realizing a dream or reaching a goal, such points are merely moments of satisfaction, and enjoyment, though not the same thing as the constant and fulfilling approach to reality that children master. Hence, the secret to life does not exist in changing our material physical world, it is instead within us, in our approach, and in essence, in our relationship with ourselves. If we want to have fulfillment, adventure, and enjoyment in our lives, this is where we should look, and not make the mistake of believing that the problem is our physical reality.

The above though is only true to some extent. We do undoubtedly have physical needs, we have to eat, drink, shit and piss – and if our basic needs are not fulfilled effectively – then it is not possible, or at least very difficult, to embody presence and live fully in every moment. This is why we require a new economic system with an equal distribution of resources – to make sure that everyone has to opportunity to discover and live their unconditional and childlike expression in this world.

What is then the solution? How is it that we return to our childlike selves? I find the following quote very supportive in this regard.

“Stop thinking, and end your problems.
What difference between yes and no?
What difference between success and failure?
Must you value what others value,
avoid what others avoid?
How ridiculous!

Other people are excited,
as though they were at a parade.
I alone don’t care,
I alone am expressionless,
like an infant before it can smile.

Other people have what they need;
I alone possess nothing.
I alone drift about,
like someone without a home.
I am like an idiot, my mind is so empty.

Other people are bright;
I alone am dark.
Other people are sharp;
I alone am dull.
Other people have purpose;
I alone don’t know.
I drift like a wave on the ocean,
I blow as aimless as the wind.

I am different from ordinary people.
I drink from the Great Mother’s breasts.”

― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

The solution to stopping our continuous adult contemplation and replace it with LIFE is to STOP thinking. Thinking not only steals our attention from the present moments, it also becomes the building blocks of our life, and the problem here is that we have not even investigated the consequences of our thoughts; what does our thoughts really create? We must remind ourselves that the future will only ever be an abstract concept, something we use to make sense of time and space, however, LIFE will only ever be HERE. Thus, when we think about the future it should only be to organize and plan for our life HERE, yet that plan must not, and in reality cannot, take precedence of what is HERE. Hence, a plan, or a goal, will never in itself fulfill us, give us peace and joy – if we want to experience such words for real – they must be created HERE in our everyday life – in the mundane and recurrent. And in doing that, what we will discover and understand, which children already see, is that life HERE is not mundane, it is a constant flow of new moments that we can only ever really see if we stop thinking and instead place our full awareness in the present.


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Day 212: Self-Creation

Today I had a fascinating point open up in relation to the point of self-creation – and taking my life by the horns and designing it – instead of waiting for things to calm in the palm of my hand.

So, the context was the following: I’ve decided to move back to the town where I grew and settle in with my mother on our family farm – today I had a thought come up in regards to this prospect that contained this moaning – drop – experience. The essence of the thought was: “What if it’s boring to live there?” – and the energy experience that accompanied the thought was a sense of dullness and weariness.

What I could see was that this point is in-fact a form of self-sabotage – because what I do in participating with this thought and emotion – is that I blame my environment for not being as stimulating and satisfying as I want it to be – and I thus expect my environment to create me – I expect my surroundings to facilitate and develop me. And this is obviously limiting – because here I will forever search for some perfect environment that will fulfill my ideas – and I won’t push myself to actually create that point of interest – to ask myself – what gifts DOES my world hold? What is it here that I can learn? That is just here before my eyes, and that I can take with me?

For example with my mother, and living on the farm, there are tons of things I’m able to learn – I can learn more about animals, more about handcrafting, and being practical, dealing with more physical labor, I can learn cooking, baking – and I can do more outdoor things living so close to nature. Do when I approached the point from the starting point of a emotion – this dullness and weariness – I couldn’t see those gifts – see the cool points and opportunities of self-creation that was right before me all along.

Thus – a correction that I am now going to apply – is that when I notice I judge my environment or surroundings for apparently not facilitating my self-creation and life – I stop – and I ask myself instead – what are the gifts here? What can I CREATE with what is here? What are the potentials, the opportunities, the prospects that I can expand and move? So, instead of seeing my world in the color of emotion – stopping myself – and looking at what is the gifts? What are the potential of creation?

And this I would say is the core of what it means to create yourself – it means to take active responsibility – to work with what is HERE and to CREATE with what is here – to stop hoping that the future will bring anything, stop hoping that my environment will move points into my world, stop hoping that my life will come to me – and instead actively CREATE and BUILD it – that is real self-empowerment – and that is real JOY – to live as a creator – and create life in real time.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge living with my mother, and living on a farm as being dull, mundane and wearisome – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this aspect and part of life – instead of seeing what potential there are for self-creation – what potential there is for life to be birthed – what I can do to enrich my life and the lives of others HERE – looking at what I can push – how I can move and direct myself to create added value – instead of expecting it to turn up on my door step

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother, and the farm for causing this experience in me of dullness and weariness – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this blame is locking me into a state of not seeing that I am the creator – and that when I accept myself and my general self-experience as being dull and weary – then that is what I am going to create – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself out of this experience – and push myself to create my life – to enhance my life – to create added value – to see the potentials and the gifts that are here – and thus not anymore remain in a state of blame

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take charge of my life and my future – through asking myself how I’m able to substantiate and build my life HERE – and thus not anymore look at my environment or my future to bring me this state of fulfillment and added value – but realize that I must stand as that point – and that I’m able to align myself with this point regardless of where I am – that it’s not a matter of where I’m but how I approach things – how I see things – and that I can actually train and practice myself to see the gifts and the potentials of a environment or relationship – and then push myself to create these potentials

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this experience that comes up within me – that something is limited, or that something is too small, and insignificant, and doesn’t offer me enough challenges, or moments of expansion – to not see how this is self-sabotage – because in-fact I’m responsible for my own growth – for creating my life to be expansive – to be enjoyable – to be fascinating – to be creative and to walk the potentials that open up in my life and in my world into creation – and into actual fulfillment and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself – through holding unto this belief that apparently my world should change and offer me that point of creation – not realizing that I must actively stand as – and will myself to ask – what is the potential here? What can I create here? What can I build, form and shape here? And how can I add value to my own life and the lives of others?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my life to open up, to wait for opportunities to unfold, to wait for a process of creation to begin, to wait for life, instead of me actively willing, and creating my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how my life can become so much more – when I accept and allow myself to see the opportunities and the gifts that are here – and what I can create, pursue, and build with my life here – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not open up my eyes and see that gifts that are right in-front of me – and embrace these gifts – walk them and create them into the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I’m able to give myself some very cool points of direction in my life that will assist and support not only me – but also others in my life – and that thus – I don’t require to wait for things to unfold – but I can instead take direction and push for points to come into creation – to design my own life manifesto of who I am – and where I am going – in the personal – interpersonal and existential level of creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the decision I’ve made to go to the farm – to embrace this decision and walk with the point unconditionally – to not attempt and try anymore to fight it – but rather walk with it – and make it mine – and make it mine through actively looking for gifts and potentials that I can create and manifest through this adventure – to look where I’m able to learn – where I’m able to contribute – where there are gifts that I can develop and expand upon – and thus instead of wanting and wishing to be somewhere else – make the absolute most of what is here in my life in this very moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my process of creation must take place HERE – that my process of building and shaping myself in my life must be walked HERE – that I can’t wait for life – I can’t hope that life will unfold – I must create it – I must will into the physical and thus stand as the point – as the searchlight – that constantly looks for new ways – new paths – where I can expand – where I can move – where I can direct myself to add value – to enhance and to gift life to myself as well as others

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a state of blaming my environment, and thinking that my environment is responsible for causing me to feel limited, and less expansive, and as having less opportunities to build a life for myself – I stop – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that the real potential of creation and the real potential of creating a life for myself exists HERE – within and as my human physical body – within and as my physical world that is HERE with me in this moment – HERE are the potentials for self-creation – they are not out there somewhere in the future – they are here in my world – and it’s thus my responsibility to see them – to find the gifts – and then to walk the gifts into creation; and thus I commit myself to when this experience of blame and a thought of dropping – and standing back comes up within me – to then say NO – and look at what are the gifts, what are the potentials, what am I able to create for myself in this life, in this moment, where I am at right now? And thus walk the process of taking these gifts into creation

Why do parents fear the future of their children?

Why do parents fear the future of their children and what can be done to make the parents the foundation of a world that is best for all?

If I were a parent, looking at my child as he came of age, making he ready to explore the ‘grown up world’ – my main fear would be that of my child not being able to support himself financially in this world. I would also fear that my child were to emotionally break down or be dealt with some really tough cards in life – such as drug addictions, jail sentences, abusive relationships, or some life-altering accident. I would in essence fear that my child somehow, someway would fuck up and turn his life into hell.

Now, these fears are fascinating to look at from the perspective of the parent being the teacher and the programmer of the child. Because if a parent would have any of the above-described fears in relation to his child’s future, then this would mean the parent doesn’t trust the training given to the child. The parent knows that the child hasn’t been effectively prepared to take on and stand self-independent and self-directive in the world – but that there is a high risk that his/hers life will turn out a fuck-up. Many, many children, no, all children grow up to be adults that live fucked up lives – following their desires, likes, preferences, dislikes, fears and anxieties – walking a path of ensuring their own survival, which is a dangerous path that it’s easy to fall off.

Is then the reason as to why parents fear the future of their children? Let’s ask ourselves the following question to see if that is the case. If a parent knew that his child was effective, stable, unwavering in his application of living – would the parent then fear for the child’s future? I know that I wouldn’t, if I was a parent, because I would be certain that my child could deal with any situation arriving to be faced, take effective decisions based upon mathematics instead of a reactive and stimulated one’s, based upon fear or desire. My child would in-fact live in reality and be able to deal with reality. What would there be for me to fear?

Obviously I would probably still fear that my child was to have some kind of accident or unexpected sickness – as this would mean my child wouldn’t be able to support itself with money. So, all fears wouldn’t be removed through knowing that my child was an effective life participant. To remove these types of fear we would need to implement a system based upon equality with equal support and assistance given to everyone. Then survival would be re-assured no matter what and the parent would finally be able to let go of his worry as to his child’s future.

So, what can be done to have the parent develop and realize his ability to be an effective teacher and guide for his child? The answer is very simple. The parent must first become a teacher and guide for himself and remove the self-defeating patterns that hold the potential of destroying a cool life. These are the patterns that, if they are not removed, will be transferred to the child and as such be apart of his education.

Parents must thus become strong, self-independent, self-reliant, benevolent and humble human-beings, living not from the starting point of energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions – but instead from the starting point of mathematics, accumulating what is best for all in every breath, and as such showing their child a practical example of living perfection. Living perfection you won’t ever get into situations or experiences that doesn’t support you or those in your world – because you are not self-deluded anymore, but instead a physical being, taking decisions without blinds covering your eyes, an effective human being.

Thus – if you are a parent, or a child – it doesn’t matter – join Desteni I Process and start your journey towards perfection, wherein fear will disappear, as you will stand self-directive in your life, within the principle of what is best for all. This how we create and place a foundation in this world that will have the outflow of heaven on earth – join us!