Tag Archives: breath

Day 444: Asking Questions

What is really important? What is really valuable? Why am I here? Why am I doing what I am doing every day? Where am I going?

These questions are essential to me. It is so easy to start moving on auto-mode; going to work, going home, looking forward to the weekend, resisting Monday, and then you start again. We get caught in the rat race, in the wheel going round, and round, and we never stop to look where we are going. These questions are my moment of stopping up, taking a breath, and seeing where I am going and why.

I have listened to several documentaries covering people that have went through a terrible accident and barely surviving it. A experience that is frequently shared by the survivors is how they did not see the accident coming and how they have developed a deeper sense of gratefulness and appreciation of life after the accident. Thus the incidents actually supported the individuals to stop for a moment and take a look at their life’s and what is really important to them.

For me, at the moment, the thing I have realized is that I have a few things that are very important to me. It is my family, my child, and my process of walking to life, and it is creating value beyond myself, for life, reality, the physical, and people/nature. I do not want to live out my life in a bubble, only making sure I take care of myself. I want to contribute to a better world – not be part of the problem – but be part of the solution. Those things are really important to me, and those are the things that I want to build and create my life around. And if I would die having lived/expressed these parts of myself fully – then I would be satisfied and at peace.

I foresee that if more people would look more deeply at what they need, what would be best for them, and what they really would like to live, then life on earth would be very different. And at the moment the greatest hindrance seems to be survival. We are stuck to these survival fears, stuck to beliefs that we are not able or capable of changing our direction, because we are too dependent on money. And then our focus becomes survival, instead of realizing that we could be and do so much more. Pushing through the survival fear is difficult – however – a key that I have found is the realize that we really have no control, or at least, that our control is very limited. When we embrace the fact that life is a series of spontaneous natural changes that we have little power over – and we embrace those changes – money becomes less important – because we realize that the only resource that will stand the test of time is ourselves.

And that reminds me of a salesman that shared how he looked at the word security. He noticed that most viewed security as having a house, money and a stable income, whereas he viewed security as his own ability to handle and directed his world/life every day. And I would say that he did have a point – because what are we able to control but who we are and who we direct ourselves in every moment? Everything else is dependent upon a myriad of variables. And the Coronavirus is a perfect example of that.


Day 390: The Natural Rhythm of Breath

I have listened to a couple of Eqafe interviews cover the topic of temperature this week:

Temperature: The Origins of Temperature – Earth, Nature, and Weather
Temperature: Purification Through Heat and Cold – Earth, Nature, and Weather
Temperature: Quantum Breathing and the Rhythm of Life – Earth, Nature, and Weather

They were insightful and fascinating and I can recommend them. There was especially one part that covered rhythm and breath that I found interesting. When I first started process I was shown the four count breath. You breath in counting to four, hold, breath out counting to four, and hold – and then you restart. It was a effective method to become aware of my breathing. As I developed my relationship to my body and breath I realized that the four count breath did not fit for me – as it was not aligned with my natural rhythm of breathing – and hence I decided to practice awareness of breath without counting – and that is where I am today.

What was shared in the interview confirmed to me that there is such a thing as a rhythm of breath and that we all have our individual and specific rhythm. The four count breath assists with realizing the importance of breath – though the real rhythm of breathing is something that can only be found by ourselves.

I was also reminded of how important it is the develop my relationship with the physical. It is easy to become enveloped and the constant chatter that is provided by the mind – and then forget the awesome opportunities that are here in every moment to develop and create a bond with the physical body. Each breath is an opportunity to refine and push my presence in the physical – and a opportunity to instead of being part of the irrelevant chatter of the mind – be here and get to know what is real.

Developing presence in the physical is challenging. At some points it feels as the mind struggles and fights – and all of these seemingly important things to look at and think about pops up. That is when I utilize the tools of self-forgiveness and writing. Sometimes that is the only way to bring myself back to stability – all of the things within me has to get out – has to be directed. To only focus on breath and deny the issues that repeatedly comes through within is not progression but suppression. That is why meditation and silencing the mind alone will not be enough – we have to locate our weaknesses and change them – and the mind is very effective at locating our weak spots.

If there is a point where the mind is able to penetrate – it will push and eventually get through. Taking myself as an example – I have a couple of points – fear of money being one – that I have consequently fallen on. Hence – from the perspective I am grateful that the mind is with me – because if I am not clear on a point within me – I will fall into the chatter, the emotions and feelings – and I will believe it is real.

There are spiritual directions that advocates only looking at the thoughts, however letting them go, or, focusing on breath and not at all allowing oneself to be distracted by thoughts. Both of these paths are ineffective – because the thoughts and the mind is not the enemy – it is the collected library of me and it will reveal what I need to work with. Each and every thought reveals a point that requires to be directed. Hence – when a point comes up – I recognize it – and if there is time – I take a look at its origins and speak a self-forgiveness statement within. If there is not time – I look at it later. A supportive practice I have found is to look at and work with what comes up within me either when I lay to sleep at night – or when I have just woken up in the morning.

The interviews I mentioned in the beginning supported me to open up and look at my relationship to breath and they reminded me of how important it is to develop a stable presence of breath.


Day 355: The Insignificant, Becomes Significant

I experience my weekdays very, very differently. And mostly, it is not a matter of what happens throughout that day. It is about WHO I AM. The simple process of walking from my car to my work, one day I can experience that as boring and predictable, trapped in the rat race, and the other day, it is a small adventure that I step into. The walk is just a couple of hundred meters, but even so, if I push  myself to be present, stop my thinking processes, life opens up before me in the small.

Hence the title of the blog, The Insignificant, Becomes Significant, because that is what happens. The small things that usually go unnoticed, suddenly I am able to see them. During my walk to work, what fascinates me the most is the expression of nature. Birds are singing, flying around, or gathering food. The trees stand solid and rooted, and their foliage rustles in the wind. It is an entire world in its own. And what is remarkable is that this entire world can be easily forgotten. All it requires is one thought, and if I get hooked on the thought, instead of grounding my presence HERE, then I will not anymore be able to see, and take in what is around.

The greatest mistake we can make is believing that life is out there, behind the next creek. Children understand that there is no such thing as a life to come, and hence, they live and express themselves fully in each moment. As adults, the only thing that stands in our way from living with the same intensity and love for life, is ourselves. More specifically, our own thinking processes and energetic experiences – that is the veil we need to remove in order to see what is here.

I have seen, realized and understand, that I do not want to waste a single day, a single hour or minute, remaining stuck in an experience of blame towards the system, or reaction of apathy and lethargy towards having to work five days a week. It is not acceptable for me to be stuck in such experiences without actively moving myself to get out of them. Because, regardless of how convincing and overpowering these emotions might feel – they are never real. And the moment I allow an energy to define my relationship with life, I limit myself, and I miss out on being part of the Significant things that are here.

The solution is to continually push breath awareness, and to stop myself from participating in my mind, and with dedication, conviction and patience, bring myself back here – bring myself back to LIFE and participate here in this physical world.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 349: Taking Care of Plants

A while ago I decided to take some potted plants to my office in order to make my working environment more comfortable and supportive. However, now, one of my plants have almost died due to dehydration and the other has been affected by dehydration – because I did not water them properly. Knowing that my external environment shows me who I am within, I decided to look at what I can learn about myself from this.

The word that popped up within me was nourish. I could see that the plants died because they did not get the proper nourishment, water. And it is not that I do not care about the plants, because I do, the problem is that when I am at the office, I usually get so caught up in a high strung energy of fast and efficient movement, that I get tunnel visioned and only see my work, and what task that I should get to next, and I do not take in my environment as a whole. Interestingly enough, I did not initially see that my plants experienced a tough time, as I was so completely invested into my work.

Obviously, this is not cool, and it is something that I want to change. I would want to be stable and have oversight, be calm and capable of nourishing myself and my environment, regardless of whether I am at work, or being at home relaxing. Instead of existing in a tunnel vision, I would want to have a expansive awareness of all the various lives that touch mine on a daily basis, so that I am able to support, nourish, and give as I would like to receive.

The solution is to ground myself using breath, and then deliberately expand my awareness through looking at and noticing what is going on around me – and then deliberately push myself to give time and attention to the lives around me – because another problem is that I will sometimes notice someone or something – yet not feel that I have the time to invest myself in their lives as I am so much into my own thing.

Thus slowing down and expanding my awareness to what is around me and pushing myself to invest time and effort into the lives that touch mine – to actively participate and give support and nourish – and see, realize and understand that it is not that I do not have time in-fact – it is that I am too fearful of losing time that makes me unable to effectively give as I would like to receive.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 313: When Work Becomes A Lifestyle

In certain professions and career paths there exist this norm, an accepted and even idealized trait, that you should work a lot – that it is good to work a lot – that you will expand and bloom if you work a lot. It is a interesting way of looking at life and there are many examples of this in modern TV-series. Let us look at the series Suits for example. Here we have two guys, pulling long hours each day, working, hanging out with their colleagues, and on their free-time, which is sparse, they either plan what they are going to do at work later, or worry about things that have or that might go wrong at work.

I have myself managed to end up in one of these career paths where there is a majority that view work as an ideal and it has only been recently that I have started to question this way of life, and in that asking myself – why is it that I see working a lot as something to strive for? And looking deeper at this point, I have seen that it is not so much about the work in itself, instead what moves and drives me to put in long hours is a mix of fears, desires, and also, some genuine expressions of MOVEMENT and EXPANSION. There is in-fact a genuine urge to improve, to go further, to enhance,  and to reach perfection. However, there is one important point that is missed in all of this, and I assume it is something that has become programmed into us from birth, it is that I do not see that in ALL parts of my life there are opportunities to push for perfection.

Hence, why is it that I only choose to push and will myself to go further at my work and not for example, with the same fervency and passion, in my own inner process of self-change? Or in my daily living chores, such as cooking, cleaning, washing, doing my hair, cleaning myself, etc? What I have seen is that this drive does not exist the same way, because in my personal life, there is no reward, there is no MONEY at the end of the line, there is no boss approving my work, no colleague telling me that I am doing good, there is no STIMULUS that moves me to push myself. This is obviously a extensive limitation, and a misalignment that causes me to put in too much time at work, creating a unbalance between my personal life of leisure and responsibility, and my professional life of survival in the world system.

What I have seen that I want to create in my life in order to correct this point is a balance between my leisure life and my professional life – and also – to remind myself each day that my private leisure life is also VERY important  – because it is here that I am able to pursue interests and push points that are not at this stage accepted as a part of the working system. Such as for example, giving time and effort to the DIP courses that I am walking, or pushing myself to write more for myself, do more blogs, and when the time is there, do vlogs – and also to give myself time to investigate the current functioning of the system.

What I want to share with this blog is the importance of remembering ourselves, that it is not about what we do in the system, who remembers us, how much money we earn, or what legacy we leave behind – at the end of the day it is about WHO WE ARE – and that point of self-creation is not limited to working. In-fact, for us to expand, to become multifaceted, skilled and learned in all parts of living, we have to give ourselves time to do other things but working.

And due to this point opening up, I have begun to observe myself more intently those days when I remain at the office long after working hours – and I have seen that my experience in those moments is slightly charged and elevated, it has become an addiction to work past the clock, and even though I have handled all the responsibilities that are required, I still sit there and continue – because I do not feel like stopping. It is thus in these moments that I have begun to apply the correction of taking a deep breath, slowing down, and asking myself: ‘Do I really need to sit here and work past the clock today?’ – and then if I answer that question with a self-honest NO – I pack up my things and leave for the day.

And related to this, I wish to share something that I read: It was an article about an old man who was nearing his retirement, and he look at the new generations, and said it looked like we were all running a 100 meter race, running as fast as we could to create as much as possible. He said that actually, life, and work, is like a marathon, and to reach the end you have to retain a balance in your life. If you use up all your energy in the first kilometers, you are going to be too tired to finish. And that is insightful and it also the solution to career, to work, and actually, to most points in life – walk with moderation – balance – and see that if but one thing becomes our complete life – then we are going to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We need to have variety in our lives in order to be functional and effective. And here is then the irony, that the more balance we have, the more effective and productive we will be when we do sit down to work – because then we have a clear and rested mind and a rejuvenated and replenished body.

Day 289: Breaking The Habit Of Overworking

For most my life I have studied, and now recently, I joined the so-called workforce – now a large chunk of my days consists of what we call working. What I have come to see is that working is very much different to studying. Working is physically tiresome, it is stressful, you are very much left to your own devices, and it definitely takes more of a strain on the body. However, what I have found is that there are two ways of working; there is overworking, and working.

Overworking is when I push myself without taking brakes, without slowing myself down within myself, and creating a energetic momentum within me, fuelled by work, and the drive to get as much done as possible in the shortest amount of time possible. Overworking has consequences for the physical body. Yesterday I overworked myself, and as I woke up the morning after, I could feel how my body was a lot more tired, and depressed. Not only that, but throughout the night I had perspired, and my sheets were damp. And this experience was a direct consequence of overworking.

Looking at the beliefs and opinions circulating in society, one of them is that working hard, efficiently, and with drive is a positive thing. Being ambitious and successful is many times seen as synonymous with having a tight schedule, and constantly busy with work. However, what I have realized is that there is a quality in working slow. There are major benefits in taking breaks, allowing for fun and expected events, and doing things I enjoy, to for a moment, letting go of work.

I have had this idea that the more I work, the more I will get done. Now, I am not so sure anymore. Because, sure, when I work a lot, I will seemingly be productive, though, what is the price of that productivity, will I get more done in the long run or will I burn out? And then, how about focus and concentration, can I still produce quality products if I am tired, foggy, and absent-minded? My answer here is NO – it is not possible. As with all things, I do things best when there is a balance, when there is a holistic consideration for all the points in my world.

Hence, working must be balanced. Overworking implies a lack of balance, and the solution here is to insert small breaks into my schedule, go and take a coffee when I feel that I go into that compressed, tight, and pressured overworking-mode, and listen to my body. Success and ambition does not have to imply overworking – instead success and ambition are words that can be lived and applied in consideration of my human physical body – hence creating a balance – making sure that I give myself all the ingredients I require to live to my utmost potential.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overwork instead of accepting and allowing myself to work in a tempo and speed that is supportive for me and my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not break the habit of overworking – seeing that in order to break this habit – I require to push myself to get out of my comfort zone – and work slowly – work in consideration of and as my human physical body – to actively listen to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice gentle working – gentle working that is supportive for me and my human physical body and let go of the ideal of productivity and effectiveness – to see, realize and understand that I am in a physical reality – and because of that I cannot lead my life by these mental concepts of perfection – I have to take into account that the physical must move in a certain speed to be supported effectively – that when I overwork I create consequences for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that overworking comes from stress and anxiety – that overworking rises from a thinking pattern emerging from lack – where I believe that something is lacking and that I must run to get back on track – and that I am all the time out of sync and must rush to get back in sync – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself here as in sync

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be more natural and organic in how I approach my life – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that to create a supportive environment for myself and my body, I must listen to, and be attuned to what is here, to the information that is here in this moment, and align my participation and movement according to that

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to take recurring breaks, to walk my body, to change environments, to do something different and break routines while at work, to in that assist and support myself to get out of the overworking-mode and get into working-mode – where I move myself in breath, being aware of my reality, and of my human physical body, moving in a tempo and speed that is supportive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up overworking in fear that I am then not going to get anything done – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value and honor overworking as this supreme characteristic that I must hold unto – as it will propel me through life and make something extraordinary of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that overworking is going to lead me into a early grave – because overworking – that has very direct consequences for and as my human physical body that are not supportive – and thus I commit myself to practice natural working

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am overworking, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself – and I see, realize and understand that I will not get more done when I overwork, rather I will exhaust myself physically and mentally, and create physical consequences, a tired body, a tired mind, and a lack of life, and thus I commit myself to practice working in a comfortable speed, and tempo – to take regular breaks, and in that – nourish and care for my physical body – making sure that I take myself into account and that I listen to myself

I commit myself to stop overworking – and instead apply myself in a tempo and speed that is comfortable and supportive for my human physical body – and thus take the breaks I require in order to rejuvenate and replenish my energy

I commit myself to show by example, that in doing things in a comfortable pace, I can get just as much done as everyone else, and that it is not the speed that counts, it is WHO I AM – my presence – my interaction with the labor in the moment – that is what allows me to do really great quality work

When and as I see myself chasing minutes, chasing productivity, chasing success, I take a breath and I stop myself, and I see, realize and understand that I will never be able to achieve success and productivity if that is always points I am chasing after, and trying to get to – the solution hence is to LIVE them here – to stand as success – to stand as productivity – redefining and living these words HERE in the moment; and thus I commit myself to live productivity and success – to apply and live these words in my daily living and hence not anymore chase them

I commit myself to take the lead in creating a new way of relating to work – where work is done in a comfortable pace and tempo that is supportive for the human physical body and myself – and in this I commit myself to create balance in my life – balance between work, relaxing, commitments, and responsibilities, and make sure that I do not place too much emphasis on one single point – but that I nourish/take into consideration ALL OF ME

Day 269: Hierarchies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people that are above me in the hierarchy in my work place – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into inferiority, and fear when communicating with someone that have a higher and more important position in comparison with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to position, according to where I am in a hierarchy, whether I am on top, or on bottom, whether I am the most experienced, or the least experienced, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change my experience of myself depending on what position I have, and what position another have, and feel/be more comfortable with myself when others have lower positions than me, and I can define myself/experience myself as having a higher position than others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to acquire a feeling of being comfortable with myself through gaining a more desirable, and attainable position than what others have, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that when another have a more rewarding position than what I have, in terms of monetary benefits, then that person is better than me, is superior to me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is that I do not need to define myself according to money, and define my value/importance according to money – but to see, realize and understand that all are in-fact equal – and that money/status/position doesn’t change this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that for me to become more stable, more comfortable, and at ease with myself, I require to gain more money, and attain a higher position in comparison with others, and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself limit my living, and my expression of the word comfort – in thinking that for me to live this word I require to have more money than others – I must be the winner of the money competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back, and fear expressing myself when I am around others that have a higher grade, and a better standing than me in the system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing myself, and fear being myself around others, in thinking that I will not be accepted, and that I am not liked, and that I am strange and dislikable, and that people doesn’t want to have anything to do with me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my real, genuine self-expression, in the belief that its dirty, and wrong, and that in order for me89tatus, and become someone/something in eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my stability/standing on how much money I have in the system – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the only point that I require to stand stable in the system is my trust in myself – my trust that I will stand by and with myself and walk in stability throughout my life – and regardless of what I face – always remember and remind myself of my purpose – which is to create a life that is best for all and bring through the expression of what is best for all in everything that I do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my stability, and standing, on what position I have in the system, and on what career I make of myself in the system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let career, money, and position define me, and set up who I am, and what I am capable of doing, and what I am not capable of doing, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget myself – and who I am – and that I am in-fact capable of standing and walking in stability throughout my life – and create a future for myself that is truly magnificent – and that is truly effective – and that is best for all – and that I do not have to limit and confine this movement of and as myself to be connected to money/position/who I am in this system

When and as I see that I am holding myself back, or waiting with living/expressing/creating my life, because I believe that I do not yet hold the necessary position to create my life, to fulfill myself, and build a future for myself and this world, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that it is up to me to create – and that I do not have to wait for anything – that I do not have to wait for me to get a particular spot in the system – that I do not have to wait for me to get a particular salary – that I can decide here that I will live fulfillment as WHO I AM – and thus not anymore wait; and thus I commit myself to live in every moment – every day – the word fulfillment – in realizing that I am full here – and that I can create and build my life here in every moment – and that waiting for that is an illusion that is not real

I commit myself to stand with the courage, and stability, to be an equal participant in this world, and understand that money, position, and career does not make me – I make/create myself – and thus I commit myself to stand equal and one regardless of what position I am within – regardless of what my duties and responsibilities are – I commit myself to remember, and remind myself – that I am here – and that my primary responsibility is to walk my process of birthing myself from the physical as life