Tag Archives: changing

Day 379: Whatever it takes

When we run into problems in our life’s, usually, we will try a couple of solutions, and if nothing works, conclude that there is no solution and then give up. I have been there myself many times. And then I blame the problem, or what I perceive to be the cause of the problem. It is not my fault that I have not found a solution, because look, I have tried a couple of them.

Some weeks ago I listened to a Eqafe interview that discussed this tendency in-depth.

These interviews was about drug addiction and the difference in approach between those that are able to quit and those that are not. The deciding factor was perseverance and tenacity – the willingness to do WHATEVER it takes to get through. Those that embodied that grit were able to quit drugs. They would literally try everything, religions, rehabilitation centers, prescriptions, coaches, therapists, and so on. And eventually they would find a way.

I brought this back to my own life, and my own issues, and I could see how I actually accepted many of my problems and blamed my environment, because I was not willing to do whatever it took to find a solution. I realized that if I want to change an issue, and I find it difficult to do so, then I must push myself, and that literally means, pushing myself out of my comfort zone to try any and all things in order to move myself beyond the point of stagnation.

For example, if I experience myself to be stuck in my career, and I have tried a couple of things to change things for the better, I must be willing to expand and do things that might make me feel uncomfortable. I might have to contact a career coach, I might have to completely change my current career path, I might have to look beyond the very point of ‘career’ to see if that is really what I need, or whether there is something else, deeper down, that is bothering me. The thing is that I must be willing to do whatever it takes. Otherwise, it is obviously no surprise that things will stay the same. If I only try half-halfheartedly, do a push here and there, and then go into blame, things will remain the same, that is for sure.

Thus, change is possible. We can change most things about ourselves and this world. Whether we are able to do it or not, that is something that is mostly related to our approach, and the depth of our decision. Do we really mean it when we tell ourselves that, I am going to change this point!


Day 452: Changing Another Does Not Work

What if we would never compare ourselves to another? What if, instead of spending our time thinking, wondering, dreaming, considering what others are doing, thinking or feeling, we invested our time into our own life? What if we made it our purpose to use each day fully to CREATE ourselves, so that we can be, the best that we can be. I imagine that life on earth would be wholly different if we did.

Currently, so much of our time is vested into thinking about the lives of others. We compare, want things to feel fair, desire others to be to us in a certain way, and because of that, we forget about our own participation. The focus is so much out there, where we perceive everyone else as the point to blame, as the reason for our lives not being the way we want it to be. However, I would argue, that this is all a strategy we use to not have to face ourselves. Because our own shit, that is tough, and that requires guts. It is easy to think that someone else is at fault, it is a lot harder to recognize how we as well are responsible for how things turned out.

Blame and anger. These are emotions that eats away at us. We might believe that we are standing up for ourselves when we decide to hold unto our anger against another. We might believe that we are doing the right thing when we catch another, and release our bent up irritations unto them. Though, at the end of the day, such inner conflicts and such outer conflicts, spurred by emotions, they never lead to anything constructive – instead there is more conflict, more emotion, more anger, resentment and hate.

What is forgotten is that the world is our mirror, and that what we feel about the world, that shows us something about ourselves. If we become pissed off at someone, because we feel that they are taking something from us, that only shows that we have an issue about that as well. Attacking the mirror does not help alleviating the conflict within, instead we have to turn inwards, and look at the source of everything.

While it might feel supportive to spend our time trying to change another, it is never realistic. I have never been able to change anyone. A few times I have supported another to change themselves, though, those few times, I have been completely stable and there has been no hidden agenda. The times I have had a hidden agenda, its not been possible to come through at all. We all know when we are being duped, and we do not want anyone to get into our heads – hence we will push them out. Thus, instead of trying to change my reactions by changing others, I know go directly to the source. And when I am stable, many times I have realized that it has not even been about the other, it has been all about me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change another because I am reacting, instead of pushing and willing myself to change the reactions I have towards them – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how wanting to change another is a form of escapism, a way of trying to forget about myself and my process, make things easier for myself, to not have to see in what way I am responsible and how I am creating what is going on within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is always easier to take back responsibility to and as myself, to commit myself to look at how I am creating the point within me, and then to utilize the tools to support myself to get out of my rut – because I see that I can never move myself by trying to change another – by attempting to impose my idea of what would best for another to do – because I have to change myself – that is the only way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I am a individual – that even in a relationship/agreement – I am still a individual and I am not a pair – and thus any form of change/movement is my responsibility – and it is never something that I can put unto another – I have to live it/do it/walk it for and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my process of self-change/movement/direction – by placing my focus and attention on what my partner is doing and what my partner should change and what my partner should do differently – instead of me placing focus and attention on myself and my process and what I must do/live/create in order to make my life and the lives of others the best that it can be – and thus I see that placing focus unto me is self-empowering – because it is with myself that I have direct effect – here I can push for solutions/push for a way forward – and where I do not have to rely on another to be the way I want them to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do the changes that I see I have to do – and thus not focus on whether I perceive another is changing or not – as that only slows me down – that puts my focus unto stuff that I really cannot do anything with anyway –  and thus I commit myself to place my focus where it will make a difference – which is on myself – when I am focused on MYSELF and MY LIFE – MY WEAKNESSES – MY STRENGTHS – then I empowered and ready to make the changes that I need to progress and move forward

Self-commitment statements

When and as I am trying to change another, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that when I am trying to change another, I am missing myself, missing the point where I have power to actually do something, because with others, I do not have that power, in-fact, I cannot change another, and thus my effort and focus is wasted – the real place where I should put it – where it will be of value/support – is on myself – and thus I commit myself to focus on myself – to live that practically through applying self-forgiveness when a reaction arise, consistently writing and redefining words, and walking my process practically – and to when I have a problem – first of all – bring it back to myself to see whether I am able to find a solution

Day 222: Easily Swayed

When I make decisions about what I’m going to do, I notice that I’ve a tendency to be easily swayed and turned around – there isn’t much required for me to go back on a decision, or begin to doubt myself, and then go completely into this doubt, and change my decision completely. It’s an interesting process to follow, because I can do extensive research, place all the pro’s and con’s before me, look at who I am in relation to the point – and with great detail define my decision and through that find the most effective route for me to go. But THEN – when someone tells me that it’s a bad decision, or that I’ve missed dimensions, I’ll many times turn 180 degrees, and then without much thought align with the perspective another is conveying.

The consequence of this pattern is that I create a lot of unnecessary work for myself, and also much needless doubt and anxiety, because the fact of the matter is that I was quite certain and assured within my initial decision. Though due to me doubting myself what happens is that I go through a process of fumbling around with a new decision, thinking about the ins and outs, to then again return to my initial decision, as I realize that this was in-fact the best route for me to go.

Thus what I want to practice and establish within myself is self-reliance, and self-trust – and that when a new perspective is shared with me – that instead of me immediately turning 180 – I instead consider the new information within the stability of breath, that I look at it, and see how it fits in, whether it was a dimension that I had not initially looked at effectively, and whether some tweaks are required. Because it’s not effective to just abandon my decision – since that decision is more often than not effective – though there might be some dimensions that I’ve not considered and that I’ve missed that I require to align.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn 180 in a decision that I’ve made when I get exposed to new information, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself, fear trusting my assessment, and fear trusting the decision that I’ve made – and want to instead rely on another for making a more correct assessment and having a better and more clear perspective on the point than what I’ve – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand this self-mistrust, and instability in my decisions is something that creates consequences for me in my life and in my future – because I will shift, and turn, backwards and forwards, instead of looking at the new information within the stability of breath here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must have the courage to trust my own perspectives, my own discernment, my own process of making a decision, and look back at how I made the decision, the effort and energy I placed into it, and from that see that I do have sufficient on my feet to be able to trust myself and stand with my decision and that there is no need to turn a 180 and go back on myself and my initial assessment of the point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to rely on others in believing that they are more right than me, and also because I fear making a stand, walking a decision, in believing that the decision I’m about to make might be flawed in some way, and that I will then have to face the consequences of a faulty and ineffective decision – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’m creating consequences for myself by me not daring to take a stand, daring to stand by my decisions, by my assessment, and have the courage to face and walk into my decision and the consequences I’ve created for and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to stand within and as courage to face the consequences of my decisions, and to see, realize and understand that I’m able to learn something from a bad decision as well, and that it’s in-fact more effective for me to be stable within the decision I’ve made and within stability consider the new information that is here, and from within and as that stability of breath consider whether there are alignments required to be made within my decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as a self-doubt and become possessed with this self-doubt when there is new information coming into my life that requires me to again look at a decision that I’ve made, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not instead, when doubt comes up within me, to in stability look at the new information, to re-assess my position and see whether there are alignments to be made, and to make it practical – through practically looking at the point and what might be out of alignment and then change and re-direct these points within and as practicality – thus using doubt practically instead of making it a point that becomes a possession

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as self-doubt instead of changing doubt practically, through when and as doubt comes up within me, to see it as an opportunity and gift to re-assess my position with regards to a decision or direction that I’ve taken – to look at it practically and see whether there is something that I’ve missed – and do this instead of going into a doubt possession and remaining within and as this doubt possession

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can’t give others to responsibility to make decisions for me and my life, because they’ve not gone through the process of consideration that I’ve – and thus they have another perspective – yet I can’t completely throw away the process I’ve walked only because there is another perspective entering my life – rather I must take that perspective and look at what I’m able to learn from it – and whether there is in-fact something missing in my current decision and way of approaching something in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I accept and allow myself to go into a doubt possession – and become completely lost in this doubt – I’m in-fact creating consequences for myself and making life more ineffective – because I’m going back on points that I’d already settled within myself, thus making my life to be many ups and downs – instead of me standing in stability – standing here within and as breath – looking at the information and then within and as self-direction seeing whether there are some practical changes and alignments that are required to be made

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into doubt and anxiety, thinking that a decision I’ve made might be wrong, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and I see, realize and understand that if I accept and allow myself to go completely into this doubt I will create consequences for myself and possibly go back on decisions that I’ve made – and directions I’ve settled upon in relation to my future – and thus I commit myself to stop, breathe, and practically use this doubt through re-assessing my decision within and as the stability of breath, to see whether there is something I’ve missed, something I’ve not considered, something which I require to look at and align – and then if required make the decisions or else simply let the point go – and trust myself that I’ve considered the point and looked at it effectively

When and as I go into doubt, want to rely upon another to make decisions for me, and to see the point that is before me, as to where I am going to go with myself, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I can’t rely upon others to know where I am going and where I should go, this must be something that I establish and create for myself, and I can use others to cross-reference and use as a sparring partner, though I can’t let everything be on them to show me what is an effective decision for me – and thus I commit myself to take responsibility for my decisions, and to live the courage of walking into consequence – the consequences that I’ve created and manifested through the decisions I’ve made – and thus stand with a straight back and trust myself that I’ll be able to walk it through and learn from it – and grow from it

2012 Changing The World With The Mind = Fake

In this blog I am going to pick apart and show the deception in a statement by Colin Wilson, and this is a typical spiritual, new age statement, and it goes as follows: “The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.”

So, what it is the deception in this statement? Well obviously, the mind can’t in-fact make, or create anything physical what so ever – and as such the mind can’t change the world at all. What is required to change the world is MONEY and physical action – yet this point of common sense is often disregarded and pushed away by us humans, as we tend to like having our money to fulfill our desires, and to not have to do very much with our life’s but instead keep ourselves entertained, and content within immersing ourselves in some hobby, or something that we like doing; so that we don’t have to care about anything else but ourselves.

In terms of being able to find a justification, in order to not have to change this world, or do anything substantial and of use with ourselves, and our time here, Colin Wilson’s statement supplies the perfect match. With such a justification we’d be able to think, and feel as if we’re doing these great, and magnificent things, while in-fact we’re only hiding in our minds, living out our life’s in acceptance of the system, and in complete fear of actually standing up to do something and live the change PHYSICALLY.

This is what Desteni is all about, we’re about taking a principle that has been described, and endorsed by many religions, people, philosophers, gurus, and other spiritual people – as the principle of do unto another as you’d like to be done unto you – and then living this principle PHYSICALLY, PRACTICALLY – and this is why Desteni is so different from anything that has ever been here.

Desteni is saying that without practical action, without practical movement, without in-fact living the statement of change as yourself, in your life actually, and physically in every moment of breath – NOTHING is going to change what so ever. And this is obviously common sense, and simple to see – yet spiritualistic people spend much time to deceive themselves into believing that things can change through using the mind, through simply feeling the change – feeling compassionate and sad about starvation, and suffering – thinking that we don’t really have to physically do something, because we can all do it in the mind.

But hey, the world is a proof that this idea of change is false, spirituality, and religions, that have suggested the spiritual, and non-physical way of change have existed for decades – like Christianity for example: “wait to judgment day, then the bad will pay, and you’ll also go to heaven when you die” – or Buddhism: “be as good as you can possible be, meditate, and then you’ll go to nirvana, and everything will be cool” or new age: “hey, just accumulate love and everything will be cool”.

Though within looking at the world we see that none of these spiritual practices have lead anywhere! What we can instead see is that the capitalists, those that use money and labor-power to build up an empire for themselves, they are in control of reality – they hold the power to make decisions – and this obviously proves that in order to change the world, we must stand equal in application to these capitalists, and walk in the system and walk the necessary practical points, and in-fact, physically create change.

In-fact, the people that have placed their mark upon this world so to speak, that has been kings, and rich people – they have built buildings, printed books, printed money, made the laws, and they are the people that have lived within the realization that you create through physical accumulation – while the spiritual people and their messages of purity and love have had no effect what-so-ever in this world – none. Jesus message of do unto another as you’d like to be done unto you is not lived by anyone in the corporate world, and what president takes into account such a principle within their decisions? No they only care about money, and real physical events, and actions – and as such it’s clear that in order to be effective, and have a impact in this world – physical action is required.

Thus – conclusion – don’t fall for these love-dovey – and smoky statements of changing the world through thinking, feelings, and experience – it must be done physically – practically – actually – else it’s not real.

2012 Redefining words I


Ecstasy is not a feeling, and it’s not an experience – it’s a expression. To express me as ecstasy means that I accept and allow myself to let go fully, and within and as breath – as presence of myself here as the physical – allow myself to burst out into a uninhabited and spontaneous expression and movement. It’s me accepting and allowing myself to move and direct myself within and as self-enjoyment, as me enjoying the limitlessness of expressing myself physically – as I can sing, dance, move my hands, touch, and really interact with the physical, and simply – in a moment of complete letting go – accept and allow myself to fully experience myself as the physical – expressing myself.


Interaction is me moving myself in every moment in awareness of what is here – and as I touch I am interacting with the physical – as I breath I am interacting with the air – and as I use my eyes to navigate myself in my environment I am interacting with the pictures that I see – interaction is me accepting and allowing myself to participate and take part in what is here; and not only with humans – but with everything that is here – and as such interaction isn’t limited to only being with people, or animals – but it’s me expressing myself in awareness of myself as the physical – here.


Communication is me learning about what is here – understanding what is here – and participating with what is here in such a way that I am able to through sharing myself – and through listening – direct myself effectively and make informed decisions.

Communication is also me listening and sharing myself simply due to the enjoyment of me sharing and listening – it’s me accepting and allowing myself to experience another’s life as the words that they speak – and it’s me accepting and allowing myself to share myself with others through the words that I speak.

Communication isn’t only the words that I speak – communication is how I use my body – how I use my face – how I communicate as a whole here – accepting and allowing myself to truly express myself fully here as the entirety of me – as I speak – and as I share myself.

Communication is only communication when the starting point is clear – when the starting point is breath – here – as what is best for all – when the starting point is of mind as reaction no communication can ever take place – as then it’ll only be me reacting and responding to my own inner delusions – and no communion – as a common union – does in-fact take place. For a common union to take place self must be here – in-fact in union as standing here as the physical – and not separated and isolated in the mind.


Living attentive is to make sure that one is here in every breath – fully – and not having parts of self exist as thoughts and back chat that remove self’s attention from what is here.

Being attentive is to give oneself to every moment no matter what one do in that moment completely – it’s to be devoted to the simplicity of life; and when one walk – one walk – and when one speak – one speak – moving self here in every breath as being aware of the specificity of self.

Attentive is also to care about what one do, and how one do it – care about how one is writing a paper, or writing a article – or cleaning the house – or showering – it’s to be aware of what’s really going on here and give to one’s best capability.


Appreciation is me appreciating myself, as me enjoying myself – it’s me seeing that I am here – that I am breath and that I am here as the physical – and it’s me appreciating the expression of myself as the physical purely due to the fact that the physical is in-fact real – here – and I can experience the physical as myself.

Appreciation is me accepting and allowing myself to see that something, or someone, or myself is actually really cool – and that I am really grateful to be able to share a moment with this object or thing – or myself – and then I accept and allow myself to do so and actually appreciate what is here – to let go and but enjoy the moment that is unfolding

Appreciation is also me appreciating life – being appreciative of life – as all the various manifestations that support myself to live each day – as all the various expressions that each day show me how to in-fact be here as life – the animals, nature, and earth; but it’s also the people that show me how live words I haven’t yet found out how to live.


Self-confidence is me being able to approach each situation and moment within the realization that I am able to deal with, and direct anything that comes in my way – it’s me trusting myself, and expressing this trust as myself to communicate – to participate – to direct – to move myself in reality and get to know reality.

Self-confidence is me being able to stand in the midst of a group – and even though everyone hates me – I still remain the same – I remain breathing – I remain having my back straight – I remain in-fact trusting myself as confidence is me placing the trust into myself and as such me enabling myself to become powerful – as in me being able to move through my reality as I’d like – or see required – without any fear, self-judgment, anxiety – or other mind bullcrap.


Self-direction is me in awareness of what is here in this moment – deciding how to move myself – not because I feel like moving myself – not because I have an experience towards moving myself – but because I see through placing 1+1 together – that my movement is of practical necessity – or simply that I see that I will enjoy such a practical action – self-direction is me keeping it practical – keeping it physical – pushing myself through any sort of experience, resistance towards acting and also pushing myself through any sort of addiction and desire for a experience – and instead creating myself to be self-directed – self-willed – self-motivated here.


Self- will is me in every moment asserting myself here to stop my mind – it’s me in every moment asserting myself to move by and through considerations of practicality instead of energy – self-will is me getting out of bed in the morning when I am waking up – self-will is me not accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate and wait when there is something important that I have to do, or something that I have to do.

Self-will is me pushing through my accepted patterns and behaviors and in-fact changing myself to become a new human being – a new-born man that is living in a manner that is self-directed – and self-willed.

Self-will is when my will is not dependent upon anything outside of me – it’s not dependent upon a certain and particular outcome – it’s not dependent upon a certain particular experience – it’s self-will – not just will – but self-will. Thus self-will is me enabling myself to stand in-fact free to decide – and free to move myself – as I am not anymore dependent upon anything to move me – I move myself and I direct myself.


Self-seeing is me seeing without thinking ­– it’s me seeing the actual reality of what is here and not what I hope should be here – not what I fear will be here – not what I think could be here – but what is in-fact here as this practical physical reality – to see what is here I apply myself as breath – I move and stand one and equal as the physical to as such make it impossible for any thought or interpretation to exist within me – and as such I see reality here – I see myself.