Tag Archives: consequence

Day 409: Facing Gossip

Gossiping is widely accepted and allowed in humanity at this stage, and interestingly enough, it is often associated with close friendship and bonding – where the bond is created by diminishing and harassing another human being in words.

Gossiping is very, very destructive – and it never gives an accurate picture of another person. It is mostly done to get back in some respect or another – and the purpose is to destroy the other person and to make oneself feel better/superior. As far as character goes, gossiping says everything about the one that is doing it, and nothing about the person being gossiped about. A person that accepts and allows gossip usually feels so insecure and inferior within themselves, that they must destroy others, to be able to remain afloat.

When it comes to the consequences of gossiping, one of them is that view/opinion/relationship the people hearing the gossip have with/of the person being gossiped about, will be effected. And hence, one sentence of gossip, can potentially severely damage a cool relationship between two people.

Thus – the moment I catch myself I gossiping, whether this is something I see in my backchat, or words that I consider actually voicing, I immediately stop myself – because gossiping is not something that I accept and allow in my life.

In this interview from Eqafe you can hear life review with a person that gossiped a lot in their life, the consequences this created, and solutions that can be applied to change and stop gossiping.


Learn more about this way of living

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Day 295: Preparation and Planning – then – Execution

Today at work, I had a moment of epiphany. Now, for some context, in my line of work; precision, detail, thoroughness, and specificity are very important. An entire body of work can in practice be ruined if some small details are missed. That is why, in order to do the work effectively, one requires the abilities and skills of patience, structure, and precision. Without those it is hard to produce quality work.

So, back to the situation at my work. I had been given a task, and I was eager to get it done. And more specifically, I was in a slight rush. In my mind was circulating things like; “better get this thing done now, as I will not have any time tomorrow” – and “I must move and be productive” – so there was a movement within me of wanting to get to the state of execution – and be over and done with this project.

Now, I did execute the task, finished it, and it unfortunately turned out there were some mistakes in my work, which were pointed out to me as it was sent back to me for editing. So, in that moment I looked within me and asked myself how it is that I am creating these moments for myself, where I miss points and err because I have not paid attention, not seemingly been able to identify the mistakes at all. This brought me to the realization that I have a tendency to want to force execution – or force the ACTION stage in the process of creation.

I could see, that in my line of work, and in many other areas of life as well, the act of creation is a two-step process. First step is the planning and preparation phase. This is the phase where the point to be created is researched, the information is gathered, and the execution is planned. Basically the following questions are asked; what is going to be created, how is it going to be created, why is it going to be created, and when is it going to be created? These questions are important to answer, because when entering the phase of execution, if there is no plan, no clear direction on where I am going, it is easy for me to loose my overview, and get lost in the experience of creating.

I could see that what happens to me, and that results in these errs that I tend to make, is that I many times skip, or rush through the phase of planning and preparation, and enter prematurely into the execution phase. And then I will move around in the execution phase, in a state of forcing myself forward, trying to reach a result, leaving a sloppy trail of small errors in my wake – which will then come back to bite me in my ass later, because I have not taken the time to prepare, to execute, and then, also to cross-reference my creation. All in all, the process of creation has been rushed, which creates the consequence of a imperfect result.

I could see from my life that when I had planned and prepared effectively before proceeding into the execution state, most of the time my creations had been satisfying. For example, my most recently bought car, I am very satisfied with this purchase. This is no coincidence, because before the purchase, I put in a lot of time into researching what car would be best for me, that would fit my needs. I took myself the time to ask the questions, what is it that I want? What is it that I require? What is important and what is not? And this resulted in me buying a car that effectively satisfies my needs and requirements.

Then I have examples from when I did not plan or prepare effectively. I recently bought a couple of expensive shoes, with a leather sole. I bought them because I did require shoes to fit with one of my suits, though, I had not investigated the brand of shoes I bought, or the characteristics of leather sole shoes. And I had not really shopped around to see if there was something better out there. After I bought the shoes, which happened impulsively, I realized that these type of shoes are very sensitive to the Scandinavian climate, and can barely be utilized as outdoor shoes. And that is not very good in my situation, because what I require are shoes that can be used both outdoors, and indoors. Hence, I bought a couple of shoes that does not fully suit my needs, and the consequence of this is that I will have to purchase another couple of shoes that do fit my requirements.

Hence, planning and preparation are very important aspects in the process of creation. Without planning and preparation, there is a much greater likelihood that the phase of action will be filled with errors, mistakes and unwanted outflows. What I will practice is thus to walk through the two steps of creation with patience, specificity, and calm – not rush the process of creation – instead walking in the tempo of breath – one breath at a time. And when I am satisfied with my preparation, then I move into action, and fulfill the process of creation.

Day 249: Creating Movement – Part 2: How laziness is created – external causes

girlinwoods-1080x675Many times when we meet people, we tend to be quick to judge. After a glance, a short conversation, or meeting, we believe that we know who someone is, and we treat him or her accordingly. The fascinating thing however, is that we rarely take time to really understand another person. Obviously, the guy that went out and robbed some old lady did not become a robber overnight – all of our decisions, and the characters we live on a daily basis are created through a process of time and space. We face certain points, difficulties, challenges, or realize aspects about life, and we make changes in our way of living. This is the process of creation all human beings go through, and that is most noticeable during the teenage years.

Now, why do I bring up this point? Because it is important to understand that I was not born lazy, I wasn’t born apathetic, this was pattern I came to create through a process of time and space. I faced certain points in my life; from there I evaluated the information and made decisions that were not effectively aligned to my physical reality. Thus to say that I was just one of those ‘spoiled’ kids that didn’t want to do anything with his life is a generalization, and a simplification, and doesn’t give justice to what actually happened, and is nowhere near laying all the facts on the table. In this blog, thus, I am going to deeper into the fundamental bricks that led me to create a character of laziness and apathy, and primarily focus on the external causes the lead to laziness and apathy, which most of the times origin in the parent-child relationship. Hence, this blog will be of assistance and support for parents and others that can’t understand why their child, or someone in their life, is lazy, and indifferent.

Lack of responsibility

A friend of mine once told me that: “When you create something, you must give it responsibility”. This is very true, because without responsibility, you cannot grow or expand as a human being – without responsibility none of your actions have consequence, and regardless of what you do, it doesn’t feel as if it is for real. This is a mistake that a tremendous amount of parents do – they are afraid of giving their children responsibility, and this in turn creates consequences, which happened to me when I was a child.

Now, giving responsibility does not imply trying to control your child to do what you want – it doesn’t imply that you must threaten your child to follow through on their commitments. Giving responsibility implies a process of education, where the child or teenager learns to see and understand the nature of consequence and how this is something we create through our actions and inactions. Most parents are not sufficiently trained to educate their children in how consequences are created, and due to this they will attempt to develop conscience and responsibility in their child utilizing manipulation, fear and rewards. Unfortunately, these methods does not direct the origin of the issue, which is that the child haven’t formed an ability to understand the role they play in their environment, and how their life affect the lives of others.

Thus, what I have found in my research into laziness, and apathy, is that one of the primary causes of this behavioral dysfunction, is lack of responsibility, or rather, a lack of understanding responsibility. In my case this was a pattern that developed due to how my parents saw me, and in turn treated me – and basically they never gave me any responsibility of my own. No matter what I did, in the end, I always did it for someone other than myself – and my motivation to do it was so that I would not get punished, or so I would get a reward – hence not because I actually understood what I was doing.

It is clear that I can’t blame my parents for this, because my parents were not shown this area of child education by their parents. In-fact most people do not grow up until they get children of their own. Only then they realize their responsibility towards their environment, and are basically forced to snap out of any tendency to slack or be lazy. Though this can all be avoided through making sure that we give responsibility to our children – which basically entails seeing and making them equal to ourselves – were we give them charge of a certain point and then assist and support them to walk through the point and in that grow, and realize their interconnectedness with other parts of life.

Affluence

If you take a look at the first world countries, and the teenagers in these countries, and compare them to teenagers living in developing countries, you will many times notice a fascinating difference. The youngsters growing up in a developing country are oftentimes more mature, self-independent, self-reliant, and strong – have a goal set in mind and are daily motivating themselves to create their goal. This is maturity that very few teenagers, and youngsters acquire in the more affluent first world countries – and the cause of this is: Our relationship to money.

Taking myself as an example, I grew up in a family where all I had to do was point at something, and eventually I would get it. There was no effort, no movement, no willpower required for me to get what I wanted, what I wanted just came to me. Obviously my parents had good intentions, though the consequence was that I formed a misaligned relationship to self-creation and the point of building a life for myself in this world. Deep within me I formed an idea that things would just come to me, that my major life decisions would just be made for me, that my life would just easily flow forward, and become what I wanted it to become, without any effort, willpower or drive on my side. Undeniably, this is not how things work in actuality.

Though, I am not saying that children must be deprived of money, and that they have to work for their money to understand what money is and what role it plays in relation to self-creation. What I am saying is that most parents neglect the important point of early on showing their child the effort that is required to create your own path in life in relation to career, education, and other survival points – and why it is important to create a life for yourself. Due to this, children grow up oblivious of the tough reality that awaits them when their time in school is over, and because they are so used to get everything they want to, they do not have the skill of self-disciplined movement that is required to create something extraordinary.

Hence, when the parent steps in too much, and doesn’t assist and support the child to develop their own understanding and relationship to creation, money, career, and movement in the system – a consequence that forms is laziness, apathy and indifference in the child. This is what happened to me, and many of my friends – we simply did not have clear understanding of what is required to create for ourselves a supportive and enjoyable lifestyle in this world.

Lack of freedom

Another important aspect of how laziness and apathy is created, which also, most often, stems from the parent-child relationship, is lack of freedom. This point couples closely with lack of responsibility, though it is slightly different. The freedom I look at here is the freedom to make decisions, the freedom to make the wrong decisions, the freedom to choose your life, and what to create with it. Obviously, here, I am not saying that its supportive to just stand by and watch while someone is clearly abusing or creating severe consequences for themselves – it is instead important to step in and assist and support through sharing insights, and realizations than trying to force a change in the child.

In my own life, I didn’t have much freedom of my own – the simple reason being that my parents wanted to control most dimensions of my life. In particular they wished to control my plans for the future, my way of interacting with the world, my morals, my values, and my thinking processes. The consequence of this was that I in my teenage years went through the usual state of rebellion, where I basically started to create many consequences for myself, just to show my parents that I indeed had my freedom – that I was in control. And one of the points that I used to portray this apparent freedom of mine, was to show to others how I didn’t care about anything – how I was totally free from the control of others – apathy and laziness was thus a way for me to reject the adult world and achieve my freedom of choice.

The problem here is obviously that trying to live freedom in this way is very consequential, and it’s not even real freedom – what I lived out was more an attempt to SHOW others that I was free. Though was I then free to begin with? When my starting point was to prove to others that I was free? So, what is missing in the parent-child relationship, and what must be created for the child to not feel that they have to rebel in order to feel free, is that the child must be given the freedom to create their own lives from an early age. This freedom must entail, the freedom of making mistakes, the freedom of being different, and the freedom of not being/thinking/living like the parents.

Summary

In this blog I have investigated and shared some of the external causes of laziness and apathy in people. These causes are primarily found in the parent-child relationship and basically have the same origin point: The child is not assisted and supported to develop and nurture their own individual expression. Laziness is on a deep level a protest, a way of saying that, it doesn’t matter what I do, because someone is going to step in and make me do differently anyway. This is obviously a misconception, because as adults WE DO have the power to create our lives – but our childhood reminiscences have more power than what we are aware of – and there are many that can remain for an entire lifetime in a character of laziness and apathy. It doesn’t have to be this way, and in this series of blogs I am eventually going to walk through the process of correction, that will assist and support anyone stuck in a laziness-character, to step out of laziness and into self-movement.

Creating Movement – Part 1: Introduction
Creating Movement – Part 2: How laziness is created – external causes
Creating Movement – Part 3: How Laziness is Created – Internal Causes
Creating Movement – Part 4: Learning To Handle Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 5: Practical Solutions for Resistance
Creating Movement – Part 6: Baby Steps To Change
Creating Movement – Part 7: The Rewards

Day 2: I Must Make It!

A point that I’ve become aware of today is the “I must make it”-point – and this is in essence a character that I step into wherein I feel stressed out – and as if I must squeeze in as many activities as possible during my day – and unless I am able to do so – I’ve failed during my days application and accordingly I should judge myself.

To take an example – today after I was done with school I went to the gym and I swam a little – as I got home I made some food for myself, and I then proceeded to lie down in the sofa to read some blogs – now as I was laying there in the sofa I could notice that I was physically tired, and that my body would be supported by taking a nap – or maybe even deciding to go to bed early. Yet – it’s here in this moment that my program kicks in – of – “I must make it!”

So – instead of me seeing in that moment that it would be cool for me to go to bed early, or simply take a nap – and then wake up – and do the things that I’ve got the time to do in the evening – and being fine with that – I instead take a half-nap – wherein I told myself “I won’t fall asleep here” – “because I got so much to do” – and then I fell asleep – yet from time, to time I awoke somewhat stressed and checked the clock – and looked at whether I’d be able to get up at this moment to “get everything done”.

What it is that I am seeing that I am doing towards myself is that I am not accepting and allowing myself to be realistic about my capacities as to what I am able to during a day, and within that I am not accepting and allowing myself to live the realization that I can only do as much as I can do in one breath – meaning; the more I think about something in my mind – doesn’t make me more capable, and able of walking through that particular activity – because in physical reality – you can only act, create, and live in one breath – and that is the one breath that is supplied HERE – and not in the mind of past, present, and future.

In looking at what drives this character – I can see that it’s fear – and anxiety – and in essence it’s a fear that unless I push myself to get everything done everyday – which is often to much for me to handle effectively – then I will slip behind, and accordingly I am going to fail with something in my world and reality – thus I am applying myself and stepping into this character from a starting point of fear of failure – instead of accepting and allowing myself to learn to manage my time – and to within that take into consideration the fact that the physical body does not function as a machine – because the physical body requires rest, it requires to be supported, and it requires to from time, to time – lie down in the sofa and take a nap from some hours – when it’s been swimming or doing some other physically strenuous activity.

Thus – time management doesn’t imply that “I should get as much done as possible” – it implies dealing with, and planning time from a starting point of seeing how this physical reality functions – and not seeing it from a starting point of the mind – as “what I should get done” – because the physical doesn’t operate in such absolutes – it operates within organic, and complex holistic equations – wherein I can’t only take into consideration the fact that “it say’s on my calendar that I should do this thing now” – but I have to take into consideration the entirety of myself, my physical body, and my relationship to the mind – to as such make decisions that are holistic and supportive to me in the whole and that aren’t based upon a dogmatic idea of – “I must get this done now!”.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take into consideration the human physical body, myself, and my mind-body-relationship – as I plan, and structure my time – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create dogmatic and fanatic ideas of “what I must get done!” – and what I “must push myself to do!” – instead of accepting and allowing myself to remain flexible and to be here in every moment and look at what is going on – to as such be able to change and re-direct myself when and as I see that this would be best for me

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I make a plan for the day, as what things I should get done during my day – to then believe, and think – then if I am not able to get these particular points done – and move these points as I’ve planned within and as my mind – then – I am a failure, and I’ve let myself down – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push myself from a starting point of stress, and anxiety – wherein I exist in a fear of failing – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move, direct, and push myself from a starting point of and as standing here – within and as oneness and equality with and as my human physical body – and paying close attention to what it is that my body is saying me, and showing to me – and making sure that I take into consideration my body when and as I make decisions and I move myself in my world and reality

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take into consideration the fact that my human physical body is not a machine – and can’t be used, predicted, and related towards – as a machine – because my human physical body isn’t the same each and every day – my human physical body doesn’t experience itself the same each and everyday – and doesn’t need the exact same point of nutrients everyday – because my body is a organic and holistic structure – that is just as me – moving itself organically with and as each moment as it arrives here – which means that equations will change, and shift – and that these equations as such must be addressed not from a starting point of habit – but from a starting point of being receptive – and seeing what is here – and correcting the point that has opened up – here – within and as breath – in seeing what is here and moving myself into and as a solution

– As an example the following can be said: I go and swim during day 1 – and during this day I experience my body as very ecstatic, and I can feel how my body is enjoying me swimming fast – and that I push my pulse up to a higher state than normal – but as I go to swim during day 2: I can instead feel how my body feels slow, and relaxed – and how my body within that is communicating to me that I’d like to swim in a slow manner – wherein the pulse is not pushed – but wherein I instead focus upon stretching my body in the water – as I take each stroke and move myself forward in the water –

and as such – reality can’t be understood and directed from within and as knowledge – as knowledge is dead – and instead reality must be directed from directly SEEING – and HEARING – and being receptive to what is here in this very moment.

Self-commitment statements

1. When and as I see, and notice that I am not taking into consideration my body – and my body experience as I make decisions of what I am going to do with my day – and how I am going to live, and express myself during my day – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – if I was my body – I’d like for me to be considered as an equal – and to be cared for – and supported to live and exist within and as my utmost potential – as such I commit myself to listen to, hear, and experience my human physical body here – and be intimate with and as my human physical body – and not see my body as a slave that I can do whatever it is that I want to do with it

2. When and as I see, and notice that I think that unless I am able to get everything done during my day – that I’ve planned that I was going to get done – that I am a failure – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that – I am only a failure – when it is that I decide that I am a failure – and I within me equalize myself to the experience, and idea of a failure – as such I see – that instead of me judging, and defining me as a failure – I am instead able to breath – remain here – and simply continue to move myself within my day – walking my practical responsibilities – instead of thinking about what I have, and what I haven’t been able to complete; as such I commit myself to move myself with NO THOUGHT in every moment of breath – and move myself from moment, to moment – and complete and walk through each point that presents itself – without having a plan in my mind as to “how much I must get done”

3. When and as I see, and notice that I am treating, and looking at my human physical body as a machine – that is here to do my bidding – and following my rules, and directions – without any equal and one communication and decision making – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that my body is alive – and is living – experiencing – and expressing – just the way that I am – and that accordingly – my body deserves to be considered – and treated as an equal – simply because this is how I’d like for myself to be treated if I was my human physical body – and I was at the behest of a awareness – as CEO of the body – as the directive principle of the body; as such I commit myself to consider, and care for my human physical – to practice and push myself to stand equal and one with all the various manifestations and expressions of the human physical body – and to within this see that it’s not merely machine – but that it’s in-fact a organic and living organism

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2012 The Working-Man-Anxiety-Character

Writing:

Since I’ve begun to work regularly and for long hours, I’ve begun to notice a pattern of anxiety emerge within me. This pattern is in-fact within me, and there all the time as I work, yet I do not really experience, and feel to what extent that this pattern in-fact possess me, until I go to bed at night. Because I’ve noticed that, I will wake up in the middle of the night, check what time it is – to be certain that I will not miss my work – or I will be in the middle of a half-awake – half-asleep – dream – wherein I’ve lost something at my work, and I must find it. I will then sit up in my bed, and look around in complete anxiety as I try to find this lost thing, and then after a while I will realize that – oh – I am only in my bed, and I am not really at my work.

This reveals that my main-personality while working is the anxiety-personality – and more specifically – the fear of doing wrong, and facing consequences character – wherein the ultimate consequence that I obviously fear – is that I will loose my job, and consequently loose my ability to earn an income for myself.

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There ain’t no free choice only consequence

Take in consideration the outflows of your participation
Take a breath before you speak so there is no toxic leak
Because what goes around comes around ain’t nothing you can do about that
There ain’t no free choice only consequnce
Accumulate what is best for all
That is life’s call

When energy is in motion breath is like a healing lotion
And if you speak and only shit comes out to stop it that’s what self-forgiveness is all about
Because what you do will come back that’s just the way it is
There ain’t no free choice only consequence
Accumulate what is best for all that is life’s call

No matter what you feel here is the deal
It’s a system of energy fueled with thought that isn’t real
So be aware of what you say in your head
Because you’ll be alone with it at night lying in your bed
There ain’t no free choice only consequence
Accumulate what is best for all that is life’s call

To end this song in a nice what listen to what i have to say
You’re a pre-programmed machine set in ups and downs, smiles and frowns, highs and downs
Thus look at yourself as if you see someone else
Nothing is personal it’s just layers and shells upon shells
See you got no choice there is only consequence
Accumulate yourself to be free
And then help others to see

Check out this song as well: