Tag Archives: consider

Day 348: Living What Is Best, Practically

Today I looked at the following question within me: What does it mean to really CARE about life and LIVE what is best for all?

I looked at myself, my life, and my considerations in terms of future, particularly when it comes to money, and career, and I was able to see, that even though I have at times told myself that I am walking a certain direction, because I care about life and what is best for all, within me, there has always been that undercurrent of desire/greed/self-interest. And what I have realized as of late, is that this underlying positive energetic movement is fueled by negative experiences, primarily fear. Thus, this is why I have looked at the question, what would it really mean to live what is best for all?

And here I want to clarify, both for myself, and the reader, that doing what is best for all is not a selfless act – because SELF is part of ALL – and hence – BEST for ALL is also BEST for SELF – though in consideration and with regard for everyone else.

What is best for all is also and always PRACTICAL – for the simple reason that – unless something is practical – then it must be forced and when something is forced – compromise will be created in some form or another. An example would be a how it does not make sense to force a puzzle piece into place where it is not meant to be, as that might damage the piece, and the puzzle will not be at its full potential. Another important word with a similar definition is COMPATIBILITY. A solution that is best for all is always compatible – it is aligned with and designed to improve and support the participants involved.

However, only because something is practical and compatible does not mean that is best. It is surely practical to keep our lives small, repetitive, and isolated, it makes us more apt at surviving and dealing with our small lives – however – it is not optimal – it is not our full potential. Hence, another aspect of living/creating what is best, is that the decision/direction must improve, support, expand, and enhance – it must bring out the best in ourselves and those around us.

One way of taking this principle into practical application is through doing what we like to do, in a way that is best for all – as that combines the point of practicality (doing what comes easy to us) with support and expansion (doing it in a way that is best for everyone). An example would be the following. Let us say that we really enjoy making music. Then we could devote ourselves to that hobby, and at the same time integrate an aspect of sharing ourselves with others, through let’s say, giving away free lessons in learning how to play a instrument, or supporting newly formed bands to find a place to rehearse. Thus, what this shows is that Living What Is Best is not limited – it is a principle that can be brought through everywhere – and the more we utilize our creative abilities and think out of the box – the more we will be able to expand this way of living.

This also goes to show another point, that living what is best is not confined to only one part of our life, or, to only our external reality. We can apply this approach to our own minds – and ask ourselves when a thought comes up: Is this thought practical? Is this thought supportive? And if both of those questions are answered negatively – we know that the thought must be removed.

Thus to conclude – what does it mean to live what is best for all? – It means that 1) We live/decide/move according to what is practical, and 2) We make sure our decisions are supportive/enhance/expand everyone involved.


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Day 322: Research, Planning and What Goes On Behind the Scenes

Since some weeks I have been laying concrete tiles where I live and through this I have reached a couple of insights when it comes to creation in the physical. Initially, when I first made the decision to lay concrete tiles, I did not know what it entailed. I did not have any previous knowledge and as such I was required to do the necessary research. I read up on the process and realized that the tiles in themselves is only the esthetic part of the structure – what makes the tiles effective is what is under them, which is various types of tightly packed and crushed rock and sand. In-fact, if the ground work is not done effectively, which is the process of packing the rock and the sand, the tiles will begin to shift, and change their positions only after a couple of years. Hence, the quality of the tiles, and how they will look, it is all dependent on structures that you cannot immediately see when you look at surface.

I am now soon finished with this project, and I am satisfied with the results, which I know is the outflow of having committed and pushed myself to walk all parts of the creation process with specificity. And what I learned from this process is how important thorough research and planning is when it comes to living and creating in this physical world; how are we able to expect that things will turn out fine if we do not put in the time to get to know the variables of physical creation? It is impossible, and still, this has been my customary way of approaching creation – just winging it. And is not this the way we tend to approach creation in other parts of life as well?

Let us look at relationships for example. How many sit down to plan their future relationships? What words they want to be expressed and lived in the relationship, what they want out of it, and how they want to experience themselves? Very few, and still we expect that the relationship will magically turn out great. And the same goes with where we decide to live, what careers we take on, the future we walk into, how many of us actually sit down to research and plan a direction for our lives?

To learn to research and plan in all parts of our lives is empowering – because in becoming efficient, thorough and specific with these skills, we are able to establish a direction for ourselves – where we KNOW what path we are heading down – we know what we are creating, what we want, what we need, what we will accept and allow and what we will not accept and allow. And one person that I have learned a lot from in this regard is my partner. When we built our house together she was adamant about doing extensive research and having a well thought plan with regards to each small aspect of our future home. It was fascinating to see, but at that stage, I was not ready for it, and did not appreciate the skills properly. I saw my partners passion for perfection as being overly ambitious. Though, as the house stood complete, I could see the fruit of my partners specificity, and also the consequences of my own lack of specificity, because certain parts of the house that I had been in charge of did not turn out the way I wanted.

When looking at the word PLAN – it is similar to the sound of PLAY  – and PLANT – the sound of the word thus implying that planning is about PLAYING out scenarios – using our minds constructively to simulate a situation before we walk it for real – and PLANT – showing that planning is about PLANTING the seeds that will become our future. And if we for a moment take a look, a seed is basically a blueprint, that given certain conditions, will begin to grow and realize itself into manifestation. Thus, if we want to be a part of deciding our future, we have to plan, because in that we PLANT our seeds, as the words we place, which eventually, as we live and walk these words, will become our reality – that is how creation works.

It is the same things with MANIFESTOS – because what is a manifesto but a plan? A sequence of words placed unto paper describing a desired condition – and through living manifestos, we are able to MANIFEST our words into reality. Though, to know what to manifest, we have to do the research.

Now, what I have found fascinating in uncovering how important research and planning are when it comes to any form of self-creation, is that this part of creation is not necessarily visible. For example, I today live in a home that I love, that is effective, and practical, however, for my home to become this way, there has been A LOT of time and effort invested into coming up with, and preparing this creation – what can be seen as the finished house is only a minuscule part of the entire creation process. And thus, what I would like to highlight with this is the importance of learning to see beyond the immediate picture that we are faced with. Everything is not what it looks like, and even in the simplest of creations, there are most often a significant amount of preparatory labor and effort invested. And this is something I will take with me when I in the future will look for and decide to take on new projects, to take into consideration that I will not only have to do visible physical creation, but also the time required to efficiently plan and prepare for the executive phase.


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Day 299: Anxiety and Fear When I Am In The Center of Everyone’s Attention

Today a situation played out at work where I for a moment was in the center of everyone’s attention. This brought a emotion of feeling uncertainty, insecurity, and anxiety – because when I am in the center of attention – I have this tendency to think about how I am perceived and seen by others.

I have written about this point before, and also been able to change and direct this experience during a couple of instances, and now I fell, which was a bit disappointing to me. As the point was playing out, I did have a vague inner voice saying that I can correct my experience by placing my attention and focus on breath, and also apply self-forgiveness. However, that inner vague voice never materialized, as I did not act on it. And afterwards, I was sitting with this experience in myself; why did I not change, or direct this experience within me?

Hence, in this blog I am going to work with this experience further, and also clarify a couple of points to myself, and also for you, the reader as well. Firstly, what defines me is not the fall in itself, rather it is WHO I AM after the fall, and what actions I decide to walk to support myself to transcend and learn to direct the experience. Thus, in this case, I am sitting down to write out the experience, investigate it, learn from it, and eventually learn to direct it.

Secondly, I can either look at a fall as something to resent, OR, I can use a fall to my advantage – and utilize it to expand myself in my process of self-creation. This is what I am doing here through writing this blog, I am standing up within myself, saying to myself, that this experience and way of interacting with other people is not something that I wish to have as a part of my character – instead I want to be able to be in the center of attention and remain STABLE, CALM, SELF-DIRECTED, in SELF-CERTAINTY and SELF-CONFIDENCE, and be RELAXED and at EASE in my physical body. That is the vision I see for myself, and what I want to establish in my life when it comes to social interactions, and when it comes to being in the center of attention.

That being established, lets look at the specifics of this moment particular moment. I can see that the origin point, the underlying issue is in-fact self-judgment. This self-judgment is then projected unto others and takes shape in backchat such as; “What do others think about me?” – “What do others see in me?” – “Do others like me or not?” – and so forth. It also takes the shape of uncertainty, because in judging myself, I am trying to be something or someone that I hope can be accepted by another, and looking at it more deeply, actually accepted by myself.

I can see this judgment towards myself coming up when it comes to establishing relationships with others. Because, when it comes to for example, deciding to meet another, and that person does not immediately show up on time; I will have backchat come up that this person does not like me, that I have done something wrong, that I have not acted properly, that they have in some way decided to push me out of their lives because they are not content with me. Hence, this shows that on a deep level within me, I do not see or recognize my own value, I do not accept myself as being valuable. And that is why I feel so happy and positive when people seem to take a liking to me, because in my twisted self-image, I do no see myself as worthy of such a relationship.

What is the solution?

It is quite simple; practice self-acceptance and valuing myself – RECOGNIZING and SEEING the value in myself. Giving myself recognition for my strengths, skills, and abilities, and for the integrity that I have developed throughout this process. There is much more to me than I admit, a unassailable value that I have not allowed myself to embrace and stand with – as I have seen myself as flawed and imperfect. That is what must change.

So, a solution can be, that when I notice this anxiety, stress and uncertainty come up within me – that I state within myself my qualities for which I am genuinely proud – such as: Discipline, Integrity, Openness, Loyal, Curious, Investigative, Questioning, Expressive, Spontaneous, Specific, Focused, Detailed, and Structured – these are qualities that I see and recognize in myself and for which I value myself.

And thus – it is a matter of continuously stopping this self-abuse of focusing on my flaws and weaknesses, and also seeing my positive and strong sides. And then also, to accept my bad sides, to not try to hide or suppress the fact that I do have weaknesses, but to accept and embrace the entirety of me. Because suppression does not work, and real self-change cannot take place unless I allow myself to SEE what it is within me that is required to be changed and directed.

Day 219: Programmed to be indecisive

Indecision – indecision – indecision – that’s my word of the day and consequently this blog will be dedicated to opening up this point – so far I’ve been quite hard on myself for over and over again going into a state of being indecisive, pulling back on decisions, changing decisions, not following through on decisions – and being generally irresolute in my stance with regards to certain particular points in my life – one of those being MY PURPOSE – that other being CAREER – both are points that I’ve struggled with – not so much because I’ve had a lack of ideas as to what I am going to do – rather because I’ve gone back and forth – not ever feeling very self-assured in the point that I decided to walk.

So, today I found one of those fascinating things and this assisted and supported me to open up this point – and that is a zodiac birth chart – the science of the horoscope – and what really blew my mind was how specific the readings were from these charts. Some of my most idiosyncratic behavior traits were described and laid out clearly – and I’m going to make a couple of quotes from the text here.

“Weaknesses: a changeable and diffuse nature. Wastes energy by doing too many things. He lacks persistence in achieving set goals.”

“Many people with this position of the Sun have gained quite a bit of knowledge in their lifetimes, but they don’t often possess specialized knowledge. This is because Geminis have relatively short attention spans. Restlessness is especially common with this position of the Sun.”

“Weaknesses: lack of follow-up of ideas, indecision, goes back on decisions.”

So – obviously I’m able to see that this fits too well in on my character – especially the point of dipping my toes in too many points, going for too many adventures, trying to walk too many dimensions – which creates this experience of me being scattered, and all over the place – consequently not ever getting to a deeper knowledge and understanding in anything that I do.

Thus – a point that I see that I must practice for myself is to be more decisive, and structured – to create a life-path for myself that is more condensed and concentrated – to rather place my focus and attention on a couple of things and do them effectively – than to spread my attention all over the place and waste myself in trying to do it all – which is a tendency that I’ve seen coming through in many ways.

Particularly during my teenage years and early twenties I would move from point, to point, always trying to find and do something new – studying law and remaining with this topic is actually one of the first things that I’ve stuck with for an extended period of time. Usually I would be moving to yet another interest at this point – though I won’t accept and allow myself to do that this time – instead I will specify my decisions – and make sure that I’m clear on my purpose – and that I place my time into a couple of points – and that I walk them effectively and specifically.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indecisive – and irresolute with regards to decisions that I make – and plans for my future – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shift easily – to move into another direction in a heartbeat – and to have difficulty remaining with one point – and walking with one point – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can change this point through practicing sticking with my decisions – walking my plans – and being patient and persistent in my daily application – and condensing my activities and pastimes to not be so overzealous and all over the place – but rather practical, realistic and effective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I dip my toes in too many things, too many ventures, too many directions – I’m going to cause myself to do all of them rather badly – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and calm myself down when I notice I go into a high – of looking at various prospects and future potentials – as to where I could go – and instead stick with my plan – stick with my decision – stick with the path that I’ve laid out for myself – and walk it – and only change it when I notice that it isn’t practical or effective anymore – thus become more stable in my daily living and application and stop wondering around in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not deliberately push myself to make my life more condensed and concentrated – and to realize that when I put my time into a few points – but I walk those points effectively – I will be able to get more out of them – and I will be able to give more to others – and I will be able to produce effective results that can’t come when I become scattered and distracted and move myself in all kinds of directions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not condense and sectionalize my life – to place down on a paper before myself the points that I am walking and directing myself within – to place down on a paper where it is that I’d like to go with each of these points – what it is that I’d like to create – and within this remain realistic and not take on too much – not try to do too many things – but instead remain practical – remain with my breath and my human physical body – and dare to live a condensed and concentrated lifestyle that is grounded – where I place my time into a few things – yet I do these few things effectively and specifically

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to stabilize myself and my life I require to discipline myself to be more grounded – because I’ve an pre-programmed inclination to be indecisive, to be scatted and diffuse, and to move from point to point – and thus to assist and support myself – I require to deliberately make my life condensed and concentrated and grounded into practical living applications – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to make commitments to walk and give my attention to certain points and aspects in my life – and in that have the courage to walk through the fear of missing out on other points in my life

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into and as a state of indecision, and wanting to fall back on a decision, and a plan that I’ve made for myself, that I see is effective, and that will work for me – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that this is my pre-programming attempting to take me for a ride and veer my off path – and thus I commit myself to in that moment breath through the fear of missing out, and the feeling energy of excitement, and exuberance, that comes with fantasizing and creating a new future – and ground myself – through speaking with myself the plans and decisions I’ve made for myself – the focal points I’ve determined for myself in my life – and continue to walk this – and ground into and become comfortable with routine and consistency and sticking with my guns

Day 52: Too Useless To Notice Myself

Yesterday, and the day before I’ve in my Swedish blog been writing about various aspects of wanting to be noticed – in particular the dimension of anticipation, and excitement – and also the dimension of disappointment, and feeling left out – two dimensions that are opposite polarities.

Today I am going to expand on this point further by writing about a particularly interesting experience that have come up on at least two occasions during the day.

So, for some context – the first point was that I entered a moment wherein two beings where speaking – I experienced myself a little pressured and said “Hello!” – only one of the beings said “Hello!” back and the other ignored me – and in that moment of being ignored I felt hit in the stomach – like – “Shit! – He’s excluding me!” – and I tried to sort of hold my appearances up as “Pff that was nothing!” – but within me I was greatly affected, and this also showed in my physical application that became stiff, and held back.

The other situation occurred as I was to take my bike into the building where I live – I was just outside the door, and then another guy comes out – and the door is open – instead of holding the door open for me as I expected he would do he looked at me and then ventured on letting the door slam shut behind him; in that moment I yet again had that reaction of feeling hit in my solar-plexus – and experiencing it as being a attack on my personal pridethinking that – “Does this mean he doesn’t like me?” – “I am becoming ignored all the time, there must be something wrong with me – what am I doing?”

leftoutSo, I mean – both these points represented one interesting thing – “being ignored” – or “being left out” – not being seen, and not being considered – and that was what I took so hard. And how this points relates back to the wanting to be noticed-point – is that this point of being rejected, and ignored is at the opposite polarity of being seen – it’s the thing that I absolutely do not want to happen and that I tend to strive towards not happening through being a generally comfortable and nice guy to be around.

Another point that is interesting is that I see that I started to judge myself after both these situations – and within me I was both angry, sad, and slightly blameful towards the other, and also myself – thinking that this was also my fault because I wasn’t pleasurable, and comfortable enough – there was definitely something that I didn’t do the right way and this is why the situation played out as it did.

So, yet again – the primary points to work with – as my primary issues that lies at the foundation of why I experience this point – is self-respect, self-acceptance, and self-value – words that I am still practicing to live and that I am not fully in all dimensions of my reality standing effectively within and as – because obviously these points show that I still do exist in a polarity when I am around others – of searching for acceptance, and fearing rejection, and being shunned.

I can also mention here that a good blog that I’ve read lately that is also about this particular point is Anna Brix Thomsen blog about “there must be something wrong with me” – and I highly suggest that you read this if you also as me experience difficulties with being stable, and comfortable with yourself regardless of how you perceive that others treat you.

Okay – so the point I will focus my self-forgiveness, and self-commitments upon today will be this point of being ignored/rejected – and the various points that opened up within this.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel rejected, and ignored when I say something, or do something, and nobody pay’s any attention to me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when nobody seems to notice me, and go into and as a reaction of thinking that there is something wrong with me – and that if I’d been a “normal being” then people would’ve noticed me, and would’ve seen me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame, and judge myself when I feel that I am not being noticed enough – and think that there is something wrong with me because apparently I should be noticed by others, and apparently being noticed by others is what shows me that I am “normal” – and that I am “acceptable” – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally accept myself, and respect myself – and to stop defining my value, and worth according to whether I perceive that I am noticed or not – and as such live the correction of me living self-value – through not anymore speaking, and behaving from a starting point of wanting to be noticed, and wanting to be seen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that unless I am noticed I have no value, and worth – and that unless I feel as being a part of someone else’s world – there is something wrong with me, and there is something I’ve not considered – and there is something that I’ve done badly; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, and see self-value as being something that is given to me by others, and is something that will happen to me when I am able to satisfy and please others – and make others feel that they are having a good time around me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I do not feel, or perceive that another have taken notice of me, and respected me properly – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I want to be noticed, and respected by others – because I’ve not given these points to myself – I’ve not allowed myself to in-fact notice myself – meaning to see myself, to get to know myself, and be intimate with myself – and that I’ve not allowed myself to respect myself – because I’ve still accepted and allowed myself to search for others to give me value instead of me valuing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it’s impossible for me to value myself, and that I am not able to value myself because I don’t know how to do it – because I’ve never done it before – and so within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that self-value is being content with myself – and understanding that I don’t need to assert myself in any form of social setting to be okay with myself – but that I am self-value and that everything that I need, and want as being noticed is here for me to give to myself in each and every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that unless I am seen by others, and unless others respond, and react to what I am saying, or doing – that I’ve then said, or done something wrong – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I speak, and express myself – to always be nervous as to how others will respond to me – because I believe that this response will determine my value, and determine my very existence – and as such I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to value myself – and trust myself – and stop defining myself according to how I perceive that others are feeling about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to how I believe that others see me – and think that this definition that I’ve created in my mind of myself, as how I believe that others see me is in anyway real – and actual physical point – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that it’s not a real, and actual physical – and that it’s not about actual facts but only about what I feel, and experience, as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value what I feel, and what I experience more than myself – and more than my actual physical movement of and as myself here in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start to backchat about others as being “mean” and being “inconsiderate” – when I feel that they have not given me the attention that I need; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for me not feeling that I am noticed enough – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I don’t need to be noticed anymore by others – and that I am able to in-fact notice myself – I mean I can see myself in every moment and the question I should really ask myself is why hasn’t this been enough? I mean – I am here to notice me in every breath yet why have I wanted more?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, and desire to have more than me noticing myself – thinking that I am worthless, and useless, and that it doesn’t matter that I notice, and see myself – because apparently what matters is that another see and notice me, and define me as being positive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the inferiority within me as thinking that I am by design less than others, and as such that I must be noticed by others – instead of seeing, realizing, and understand that I’ve invented my design and as such it’s not inherent – and it doesn’t have to remain this way – because I am able to change myself and as such be fully content, and satisfied in me seeing, and noticing myself – and not anymore having to make sure that others feel positively towards me – but that I instead live self-value, self-worth, and self-respect here – in being stable within and as me in all social settings knowing that I am sufficient, and I am enough – and I don’t need anyone to tell me or show me this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I notice myself, or when I am aware of myself – that this doesn’t count because I am apparently useless – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop and change this self-destructive reasoning within me – to as such accept and allow myself to stand up for myself and live self-worth, and self-respect in each moment – in not allowing myself to be defined, and created by how I perceive that others experience me

Self-commitments

When and as I say, and do something, and nobody takes notice – and I react in taking it personally, thinking that there is something wrong with me – Immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that there is nothing wrong with me – but only that nobody has taken notice of me – and nothing else have really happened; as such I commit myself to breath – and simply continue to express myself in the moment without making a big deal out nobody noticing me – I express me for myself and not so that somebody can take notice of me

When and as I see that I am blaming, and judging myself as thinking that “there is something wrong with me” – because nobody seems to have taken notice of me in a moment – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t have to make it a big deal, or take it personally – I mean it’s simply that nobody noticed me and nothing more – as such I commit myself to simply breath and continue moving, and applying myself naturally here and stop any secret agenda of wanting to be accepted, or seen, or heard, or loved – I commit myself to accept, respect, and worth myself

When and as I see that I am thinking that I am worthless unless somebody takes notice of me, thinks about me, or considers me in a way so that I feel important – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I mean – I can’t live my life constantly evaluating myself upon the basis of how I think others see, and notice me – as that will make me to become a slave and nothing more but a slave – as such I commit myself to practice expressing myself without wanting anything back – expressing myself unconditionally and without searching for any form of response when I speak and express myself

I commit myself to notice, and see myself – and to practically worth myself – and to do this through practicing expressing myself unconditionally and without wanting, or desiring to have any specific response in return – and that I simply express myself naturally in the moment as a breath – speak naturally, move myself naturally – as I would’ve done if I was by myself – because in essence I am always by myself – and thus I commit myself to live self-worth, and self-respect through valuing myself unconditionally and not limit myself to feel comfortable only when I think that others think I am fun, or cool to be with

When and as I think, and believe that it’s impossible for me to value, and worth myself – because I’ve never done it; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that it’s not impossible – but it’s just convenient for me to think that it is because then I won’t have to change myself – as such I commit myself to practice living self-worth, and self-respect practically through not allowing my expression of myself to be dependent upon how others express themselves towards me

When and as I see that I become nervous about how others will respond to something that I’ve said – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t have to live this way of evaluating myself on the basis of how others respond to me – but that I am able to change my way of living so that I express myself as myself without wanting anything back – and thus that I give, and share of myself unconditionally; as such I commit myself to speak within oneness and equality as my human physical body – speak HERE and without any secret agenda as how I’d like others to respond to me – and experience me; because I see that this is self-limitation

When and as I see that I am changing myself in my way of moving, speaking, sharing, and expressing myself – because I believe that others feel a particular way about me – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that if I allow me to change because others feel a specific way about me – then this is me limiting myself, and making me less than what I am able to be; as such I commit myself to live my fullest potential in every moment through not worrying, or thinking about what others feel, or not feel in relation to me – and instead focus upon me expressing myself self-honestly in every moment of breath

When and as I see, and notice that I start to backchat about others as being “mean” and “inconsiderate” – because they’ve not given me the attention that I apparently deserve – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that what I experience has nothing to do with others – and that me not feeling that I am being given attention is my issue and it’s not anything about actual attention; as such I commit myself to simply stop and to re-align myself in the moment as me speaking, and sharing myself for and as myself here in this moment within oneness and equality as physical breath – here with my body with no starting point that is in separation from myself as here

When and as I want others to notice me, and that I am thinking it’s not enough that I notice, and see myself – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that it’s a misconception that I’ve made thinking that what others experience matters – when what matters is the physical and my movement in the physical – thus I decide who I am and not the attention I perceive that I receive from others; as such I commit myself to practice directing my human physical body – and my expression to not be dependent upon any form of expression that “get in return” – I express myself unconditionally here

When and as I see that I am thinking that I apparently must receive notice, and attention from others, because I am less by design, and inferior as a trait that I’ve been born with and can’t change – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is merely an excuse for me to not stop, and change myself – and re-align myself – because I know that I can change myself and that it’s as such just a point of actually doing it; as such I commit myself to stop whining, and victimizing myself to my experiences – and instead simply change myself in one moment – in one breath – here

When and as I think that me noticing myself, and giving myself attention – through me expressing myself within oneness and equality as my full physical awareness here – is not enough because I am apparently useless – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am the creator and thus I decide what I will accept, and allow and what not – thus I decide that I am useful – and that I am enough – that me giving me attention, and noticing myself is sufficient; as such I commit myself to notice, and give myself attention – and to be here with me – and to understand that this is everything that I require and need

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Seeing A Moment From More Than One Perspective

Some days ago I had a fascinating realization and it came to be as I was sitting with my class at a seminar. We we’re going through some details of our most current assignment, details that I had already come to understand and know – though many of my classmates didn’t hold the same understanding as me, and as such many kept asking teacher questions.

At this point the teacher started to become strained as the seminar was coming to it’s end, and there was still more points to cover, than this particular point that we’re a place of uncertainty to many of my classmates.

And in this moment I noted with myself that I started to twist and turn in my chair, I started to look at the clock behind me, and I thoughts of frustration come up within – as for example: “why can’t they see we don’t have time for these questions!” – “Why is everyone here unable to understand this simple information?” – “Can’t everyone see that the teacher is strained and that we must move one?!”

As I noticed this behavior that existed both in thought, as emotion, and as my physically becoming restless, looking at the clock behind me every one minute – I realized and understood that I wasn’t in-fact considering or seeing the experience and starting point of my classmates.

I didn’t accept and allow myself to see that to them their questions were important and needed, as they didn’t in-fact have the same understand of the point as I did, and as such they needed and required to ask these questions in order to clarify to themselves what the details of the assignment were.

And in that moment I stopped myself from existing as an experience of judgment and frustration and I brought myself back to this physical reality – and I simply let myself let go of the tenseness, and the restlessness – and I listened to the questions of my classmates; understanding that I would have asked the same questions if I didn’t have the understanding of the assignment as I currently did.

As well realizing that if I didn’t have the understanding of the assignment that I currently did – I would like to be given the time to ask sufficient with questions to make the point clear to myself, without having others becoming angry, frustrated, and irritable that “I used up to much time”. And as such this is what I applied myself as that which I would like to receive – I stopped me from existing as irritable and I gave to another that which I would to receive myself.

To apply and move oneself as this principle of giving to another as you would like to receive is stuff of simplicity – yet it holds the key to heaven on earth – as this is the simple realization we’ve all missed that has brought hell to earth instead.

Thus – walk with me – change yourself in moments where you see that you don’t consider why, where and how others are – and live in a way as how you would like others to live towards you.