Tag Archives: consideration

Day 410: Learning Empathy

These recent days I have been exploring the words empathy and compassion. In my line of work, it is both a strength and a weakness to have empathy. On the one hand – empathy is what allows me to stand in the shoes of another and truly experience their position – and when I do – that motivates me to do what is needed to support them to sort out their situation. On the other hand – too much empathy can create stress and a tendency of being overbearingly responsible – where I place too much burden on me to sort things out. Another problem is when we define empathy in the sense of taking on the emotions and feelings of another – making our ‘feel’ for the other person energetic. That can cause to make stupid decisions – as action driven by energy usually means that we do something without sufficient consideration.

Thus – there it is a balance and a skill to be empathic – empathic in the sense of feeling for another, yet at the same time keeping distance, and keeping once cool – remembering that I have my own process and they have their own – and at the end of the day – they are responsible for their life. And thus – the point is not to become overwhelmed with feeling bad for another – it is rather to understand them and see where they are at. That allows me to step in and take the direction that is best for all.

I have had difficulty implementing the word empathy because I am by nature introverted. In conversations I tend to keep my focus directed inwardly – and hence it is not easy seeing the small movements that occur in the face and body language of another. And being attentive to those aspects – that is a key in living empathy. If my focus is only on myself then I will miss the signs someone is sending me that indicates to me how they feel – and no energy will be given to actively place myself in their shoes to envision for myself how it would be like for me if I would be them. Thus for me – empathy takes effort – it is not something that naturally occurs within me.

And it is not strange that empathy does not come natural to me – if I look at my education as I grew up – there was very seldom anyone sitting down with me to share the basics of how to live and apply empathy – and in school it was never mentioned. Somehow – parents believe that their children should just understand what it means to be empathic and then proceed to live it. Though – then we miss the fact that empathy is a technique – it is not a characteristic. While the reason as to why we should apply empathy has more to do with our sense of equality – the actual application of standing in the shoes of another is technical – we use our mind to place ourselves in the experience of another. In our current education system we have a serious deficit when it comes to showing kids how to put into practice spiritual techniques that will empower them and their peers. We take it for granted that our children will developed spiritually when they are fed with information about the world and other people – and we somehow believe that everyone will turn out pretty much okay at the end of the day. And that is a mistake which we now have to undo as adults by relearning the basic techniques required to create an effective social environment.

The way I see it – empathy consists of a couple of ingredients, which are the following: 1) Receptivity 2) Sensitivity 3) Imagination. Thus – in order to apply empathy we have to firstly be receptive and take in our environment. We must be open and vulnerable and allow us to see people and events without judgments, preconceived ideas or morality. If we judge what is here, empathy will be difficult to conjure – because through judgment we put ourselves in a state of superiority – on a pedestal – and to access empathy we need to stand as an equal.

Sensitivity has to do with our ability to be in touch with our environment. To put ourselves in the shoes of another we have to be able to notice the details and allow ourselves to feel the moment – and that means we have to let ourselves go. Sensitivity thus is about letting go to fully experience what is here – and not try to rationalize, theorize or observe – it about feeling reality. And if we do not allow ourselves to go there – empathy will only ever be a thought-experiment and not an actual understanding of the experience of another.

Thirdly, imagination. Sometimes empathy can be difficult because we have no reference points. An example would be war and refugees. How can I empathize with refugees and victims of war when I have absolutely no idea how it is to be in such a position? I have grown up in a safe country with constant access to the basic necessities of life – I have been protected. Am I then even able to understand what it is like to have your home blown to pieces, parts of your family killed, and then having to leave your home country for life? The only way for me to come close is to use my imagination – and also to look for similar experiences in my own life. That way I am able to get somewhat of a understanding as to what another has gone or is going through. And applying this step usually takes some time. In order to realistically imagine something – it requires a bit of effort – because what is easy to forget is the details of the experience.

These are the ingredients that I use when I apply empathy in my life – a skill that I am still practicing and that I have had great use of so far both in my personal and professional life. From my perspective – I think that life on earth would improve greatly if more people started practicing and applying empathy in their daily life.


 

Advertisements

Day 354: Nostalgia, Why Does It Exist?

Today, I had a moment where Nostalgia arose within me. With a sense of loss I remembered passed moments in which I had lavishly enjoyed hours of making music, which stood in stark contrast with my current lifestyle, where most of my time is spent working. Instead of remaining in that experience, I stopped myself, and I gave myself a moment to question the experience.

What is Nostalgia? Why does Nostalgia comes up within me? What is the consequence of participating in Nostalgia?

One thing that I could see clearly as I asked myself these questions was that it is not like my current life is in anyway bad, or that I lack opportunities to for example, make music. In-fact, I have ample of opportunities to pursue hobbies, and thus I could see that it was not the fault of my work that I was not making music anymore. In-fact, the thing that was standing in my way of me making more music was myself – nobody and nothing else. Surely, the conditions of my life had changed since back then, though it is still a possibility for me to pursue music creation. And this then opened up another dimension of the experience of Nostalgia, with regards to the question, what is Nostalgia?

Nostalgia, it is the negative emotion, the drug of choice, that we give to ourselves to feel inferior and less than our past. It is what we use to not have to create, live, pursue, and actively expand in our current reality HERE – because when we are in an experience of Nostalgia – the past is seemingly always better and always out of reach. However, that is not true, fact is that we are still alive, and still fully capable of creating our life and future. The function of Nostalgia is thus to justify why we should not give effort and willpower into creating ourselves and our lives – why we should wait – why it is okay to be discontent with what we have here yet still remain in a experience of longing towards what we lived and experienced in the past.

The solution to Nostalgia is thus to look at where in our lives where are not living our utmost potential, where it is that we are holding back, allowing ourselves to be limited and confined, and then in that area, push ourselves to break through and live what we see is best for ourselves. Thus, it is not about recreating the past, it is about creating the future – and making sure that we always expand, move and challenge ourselves to be the best that we can become.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 322: Research, Planning and What Goes On Behind the Scenes

Since some weeks I have been laying concrete tiles where I live and through this I have reached a couple of insights when it comes to creation in the physical. Initially, when I first made the decision to lay concrete tiles, I did not know what it entailed. I did not have any previous knowledge and as such I was required to do the necessary research. I read up on the process and realized that the tiles in themselves is only the esthetic part of the structure – what makes the tiles effective is what is under them, which is various types of tightly packed and crushed rock and sand. In-fact, if the ground work is not done effectively, which is the process of packing the rock and the sand, the tiles will begin to shift, and change their positions only after a couple of years. Hence, the quality of the tiles, and how they will look, it is all dependent on structures that you cannot immediately see when you look at surface.

I am now soon finished with this project, and I am satisfied with the results, which I know is the outflow of having committed and pushed myself to walk all parts of the creation process with specificity. And what I learned from this process is how important thorough research and planning is when it comes to living and creating in this physical world; how are we able to expect that things will turn out fine if we do not put in the time to get to know the variables of physical creation? It is impossible, and still, this has been my customary way of approaching creation – just winging it. And is not this the way we tend to approach creation in other parts of life as well?

Let us look at relationships for example. How many sit down to plan their future relationships? What words they want to be expressed and lived in the relationship, what they want out of it, and how they want to experience themselves? Very few, and still we expect that the relationship will magically turn out great. And the same goes with where we decide to live, what careers we take on, the future we walk into, how many of us actually sit down to research and plan a direction for our lives?

To learn to research and plan in all parts of our lives is empowering – because in becoming efficient, thorough and specific with these skills, we are able to establish a direction for ourselves – where we KNOW what path we are heading down – we know what we are creating, what we want, what we need, what we will accept and allow and what we will not accept and allow. And one person that I have learned a lot from in this regard is my partner. When we built our house together she was adamant about doing extensive research and having a well thought plan with regards to each small aspect of our future home. It was fascinating to see, but at that stage, I was not ready for it, and did not appreciate the skills properly. I saw my partners passion for perfection as being overly ambitious. Though, as the house stood complete, I could see the fruit of my partners specificity, and also the consequences of my own lack of specificity, because certain parts of the house that I had been in charge of did not turn out the way I wanted.

When looking at the word PLAN – it is similar to the sound of PLAY  – and PLANT – the sound of the word thus implying that planning is about PLAYING out scenarios – using our minds constructively to simulate a situation before we walk it for real – and PLANT – showing that planning is about PLANTING the seeds that will become our future. And if we for a moment take a look, a seed is basically a blueprint, that given certain conditions, will begin to grow and realize itself into manifestation. Thus, if we want to be a part of deciding our future, we have to plan, because in that we PLANT our seeds, as the words we place, which eventually, as we live and walk these words, will become our reality – that is how creation works.

It is the same things with MANIFESTOS – because what is a manifesto but a plan? A sequence of words placed unto paper describing a desired condition – and through living manifestos, we are able to MANIFEST our words into reality. Though, to know what to manifest, we have to do the research.

Now, what I have found fascinating in uncovering how important research and planning are when it comes to any form of self-creation, is that this part of creation is not necessarily visible. For example, I today live in a home that I love, that is effective, and practical, however, for my home to become this way, there has been A LOT of time and effort invested into coming up with, and preparing this creation – what can be seen as the finished house is only a minuscule part of the entire creation process. And thus, what I would like to highlight with this is the importance of learning to see beyond the immediate picture that we are faced with. Everything is not what it looks like, and even in the simplest of creations, there are most often a significant amount of preparatory labor and effort invested. And this is something I will take with me when I in the future will look for and decide to take on new projects, to take into consideration that I will not only have to do visible physical creation, but also the time required to efficiently plan and prepare for the executive phase.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 278: Giving

I woke up this morning and noticed that there was a form of stress or anxiety present in my chest. I took a moment and looked within me to see where this stress and anxiety came from. What I could see was that this stress and anxiety was connected to debt, to money, and to survival. It is easy to fall into the trap of survival fear – and then remain stuck in such an experience. When in survival mode everything is about the mere continuation of one’s life, which is the drive, which is the force and momentum that push points forward.

What is unfortunate is that when stuck in this state of survival, tunnel vision sets in, and one’s world gets smaller. It gets small in the sense that the only thing that matters is survival, not seeing anymore that there are more points to living in this world, and most of us understood this as children, when we could live in this world without being governed by fear of survival.

Hence, fear of survival is that limiting experience where all focus and attention goes to achieving the basic minimum, just getting by, just making sure that one get through this day. In that there is no will, or drive to move and expand, to give of oneself, to create something extraordinary and out of this world, something awesome that would be of benefit to many people. The will to live is sucked dry by the fear of survival.

However, it does not need to be this way. Money, or rather the lack of money does not have to define who we are as beings, and what we decide to live, and what we decide to stand for and as. Our expression and commitment to life can be created to go beyond money, and that is what I am going to write about in this blog, how I have waited with standing as life in certain parts of my life, due to connecting that will to stand to money, and having a lot of money.

One point that stands out here is the point of living HERE, living HERE and not accepting and allowing fear to creep up on me. Because, one justification that has been common is that ‘Oh well this fear is valid, because I do not have any money’ – hence procrastinating stopping and changing my self-experience until I feel that I have enough money to let go of my fears. Obviously, this is not effective, because fact of the matter is that I might never have enough money to feel comfortable in letting go of my fears, and fact of the matter is that I might never feel that source of income I have is sufficiently certain for me to feel comfortable in letting go of stress. This means that if I want to live without stress and fear, and stand up as my real potential, I must take a leap of faith, and simply stop these experiences – not accept and allow them to exist within me – regardless of where I stand in relation to money and income.

What does it then mean to live without fear of money/survival, and what I can replace this fear and survival with? What expression can I live instead that will support me to become a fulfilled and effective human being in this lifetime that is contributing to a life that is best for all?

What I see is that the word GIVING is a important part of me changing myself to live my utmost potentialGIVING is important in me walking from survival and into self-expression – and within GIVING – also words such as CARE, CONSIDERATION, EQUALITY, and SUPPORT – basically – placing value and significance on my fellow human beings and looking at how I can in my life GIVE to others of myself in such a way that it will support them and enhance their lives.

And I see that this word GIVING can be applied in many contexts. I can pursue GIVING in my work environment, GIVING through placing a focus on the organization that I work for as a whole – instead of only seeing it from my perspective, and from my desires and wants. And GIVING through actually caring for others, placing them within me, and when I speak, and interact with them, recognize the other person as an equal to me – see them – hear them – and be here with them. And GIVING through when I have time and opportunity to do so, assist and support others in their work.

And then GIVING can be applied at home through assisting and support with the household work, taking on responsibilities, and taking part in caring for the environment.

And basically, what I see, is that GIVING implies giving up my self-interest, to instead consider the whole, and see what I can contribute to the whole, instead of what I can get and take from the whole. Seeing how I can support myself and my world to expand, instead of looking for opportunities for me to get my next fix of energy – it is thus a shift in perspectives – a shift in how I look at things.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the antidote to self-interest is giving, being generous and including others into my life and supporting not only myself but everyone to create a enjoyable life for themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason as to why this world face so much consequence is partly because we are just all the time taking, we all the time want things, seldom are we giving back – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make it part of my life to give back

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I only think about myself, that is when fear starts taking a hold – thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop thinking – and apply the solution of GIVING and being generous with myself, my time and my money – and hence not anymore accepting and allowing myself to be a miser that walks in this world only to have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that giving is what has been missed in this world – we humans have not considered the point of giving and within that receiving – but instead looked at this world as a place were we must do what it takes to survive – not seeing, realizing and understanding that by having that initial perception of this world – we have created it

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to develop the expression of GIVING in all parts of my life

I commit myself to investigate what it means to GIVE and how I can live the word GIVING in my life in such a that I support what is best for all

I commit myself to place myself in the shoes of another and ask myself how I can GIVE to their life in such a way that I will assist and support them to expand

I commit myself to embrace GIVING – to embrace that we are here in this world together – and that no one is free until all are free – and that hence – there is no point to only caring about myself – my life – and my future

I commit myself to push GIVING – to push through the moments when I feel that I have given to much – or I give without ever receiving – to stop feelings of fair and unfair – and instead take responsibility in this world through giving and making sure that I contribute to building and shaping what is best for all

Day 218: Recognizing Myself

One emotional experience that have come up recently with more force and fervor has been that of looking at my life, my relationships and daily living – and then comparing this to the lives of others – and in that making a conclusion – that apparently my life is a failure – my life is not good enough – and I’ve not established or walked a sufficiently fulfilling life.

For some context in terms of how the point emerged within me. I was scrolling through Facebook, and then saw a post from an old friend – and decided to see what he’s been up to. I saw that he’d acquired a new job, and that he’d been left with many comments, where his former work colleagues shared with him how much he was going to be missed at his old job.

This then triggered the particular experience within me, where I had this image come up in my mind of my bedroom as I wake up in the morning, and then followed by backchat, that was charged with an energy of failure – thus these statements emerged where I was berating myself for not through my life having created more relationships with people where they would write similar things to me – as to how much they were going to miss me and feel sad that I couldn’t be a part of their lives anymore.

The energy that was triggered by the thought and the backchat was failure – and I felt like an underachiever. What I did in that moment was to slow down, and immediately apply self-forgiveness on the energy as well as the backchat – and this assisted and supported me to clear the experience and return to the stability of breathing and being here with my human physical body. Though because this experience was intense and it’s come up several times – I saw that it was required for me to investigate it more closely.

Now, in analyzing and picking a part this experience – I’m able to see that the origin of this point is a lack of self-acceptance – and the problem is that I’ve defined self-acceptance in a relationship to success – and success in association to attaining fame and popularity in the system – because hey – that is what I saw in the comments that where directed towards my friend – he seemed popular, liked and appreciated!

Obviously, the most burning of questions is why I don’t give that appreciation to myself – or rather HOW I don’t give that appreciation and acceptance to myself – because if I was appreciating and accepting myself – would I then experience this urge and want of having others seeing, recognizing and valuing me? No – I wouldn’t.

Thus – HOW am I not giving this to myself? The first thing I’m able to see is that I don’t accept and allow myself to recognize myself for what I actually HAVE DONE and ACCOMPLISHED in my life – because there are a few things I’ve done that took great effort and willpower – that I’m actually proud over when looking back. Though that is not something that I yet allow myself to really embrace – thus – the first point of self-correction and living application that I see I can implement in my process of correcting this point – is to accept and allow myself to recognize what I’ve done and accomplished – and in that allow myself to be proud over and satisfied with myself – and thus accept and allow that point of self-recognition and self-appreciation to come through instead of hoping that others are going to give it to me.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself – and accept and allow myself to be proud over and satisfied with the points that I’ve accomplished in my life – that I’ve given effort into and walked to perfection – and that I’ve really had to push and will myself through resistances and limitations in order to create – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate my strengths, skills, aptitudes, talents and capabilities – and what I am in-fact effective and good at – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself for granted – and to compare myself with others and berate me for the weaknesses I have – instead of assisting and supporting myself to strengthen my strengths – to enhance those points in myself where I’m already effective and potent – and thus place my focus and attention on what I’m able to create in my life – instead of that which I perceive to be a problem and that I’m not able to walk

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never be satisfied and content with myself – even though I accomplish a great feat and really push myself to establish a particular point that do requires effort – to believe that I am not worthy of recognition, praise and acceptance – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy the behavior of my parents – living and creating a belief that I must never be satisfied with myself because that is apparently not something that I am accepted and allowed to give to myself – because apparently I am flawed and less than – and thus doomed to for an eternity walk in this life thirsting for acceptance yet never really ever finding a place of comfort for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the consequence of me at all times expecting more from myself – and not allowing myself to look back and see all the effective and cool points that I’ve manifested for myself – is that I am breaking myself down – instead of accepting and allowing myself to build myself – to through seeing what I’ve created and what I’ve been able to do – further push myself and become even more enthusiastic with regards to my self-creation process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the flawed starting point and premise that I’m apparently not worthy of self-acceptance, being proud over myself, and being satisfied with myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when always being discontent with myself and my efforts – I will be able to produce greater results – instead of accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that when I am berating and judging myself – I’m in-fact breaking myself down – making me less capable and driven – because I generate an emotional experience within me of feeling like a failure – that then draws all my attention – instead of me placing my focus, effort and attention upon me creating myself as life – building myself as life – and walking my life to get done and establish that which is required to be established

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself for having dedicated several years of my to myself with regards to walking this process of self-creation – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself for having soon completed a university education – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that in my life, and in that in myself which is effective, which is working – where I’m actually producing results that I should be satisfied with – because the results are actually very cool

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize myself for having walked through my resistances and pushed myself to progress in my Desteni I Process course – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take this point for granted – instead of accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that it’s something I’ve actually walked with great effort and that I’ve invested a lot of will power into – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself credit for that which I’ve walked and established

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand – that only because I recognize myself – and see my achievements – that this doesn’t have to mean that I will become complacent and self-conceited – because obviously I can still push and will myself to create my life – yet when I recognize and actually accept and allow myself to see my progress – I create this natural drive and motivation to push myself – because I’m able to see the results – I’m able to see what I’m creating and what outflows and effects my creation have on myself and in the relationships in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself credit for having pushed myself to participate as a host in the Desteni Hangouts – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take this point for granted as something that I simply should be doing – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it’s actually a commitment that I’ve made and that I’ve walked for quite some time – and that it’s been a point I’ve invested effort into and thus not something that just came to me easily – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize that point in my life and in myself as something that I walked and created that I can in-fact be proud over

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and be hard on myself for having difficulties in creating networks and relationships with other people – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s unnecessary for me to go into this state of harshness and judgmental attitude – rather I commit myself to be forgiving – to accept myself as I am at the moment – and then from that starting point begin to push myself to become more effective in creating networks and relationships – not from a starting point of thinking that I am bad, wrong or unfitting in my current state – rather that I push myself from within and as a starting point of me wanting to expand and move myself beyond my limitations – because I enjoy it and find it fascinating – and because I’ve been able to do so with many other points in my life

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that a thought arise within me of me berating and judging myself, for me apparently having a boring, unsatisfactory, inferior lifestyle in comparison with others, in terms of being accepted, recognized and seen, being popular and having many relationships – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and I see, realize and understand that this idea within me that I’m apparently a inferior human being isn’t aligned with reality – because there are many things in my life that I can be proud over, that I can give myself credit for, that I can be truly satisfied with – and thus I commit myself to recognize these aspects of my life – to give myself credit for what I’ve created and established – to give myself credit for my strengths, my skills, talents and aptitudes – and in that recognize, see and accept myself

When and as I see that I am berating and judging myself, for me not as I perceive others are able to do, creating relationships, networks, and doing these ‘fun’ ‘eventful’ and ‘interesting’ pastime activities with others – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that in approaching these weaknesses of mine from this starting point of judgment, I’m in-fact only breaking myself down, and placing even further away from moving into a solution – and thus I commit myself to accept myself as I am at this stage – and from this starting point of unconditional self-acceptance – move myself to change – to direct myself – and to create myself in those areas of my life where I see that I’m not very effective or potent – and that there is more to build and create – more things to explore, realize and live

Day 158: Social ineptness

So, today some fascinating points have come in relation to the point that I’ve opened up and committed myself to walk through to COMPLETION – the general point is that of social angst – yet this point contain many various dimensions, and a new dimension that I noticed today is in relation to a belief that I hold of myself – the belief that I am socially inept – that I am somehow worse than others at being social and that my natural expression is not sufficiently socially acceptable – and that I as such require to mold and emulate my expression to be more acceptable.

Some context: I was hanging out with some persons that are new in my world, and it was a fresh environment for me, so I didn’t really know how to place myself in it, and who I should be. As I observed myself interact in this new environment, and these new persons, I saw that what I held within me was this general experience of ‘I am less’ – and the consequential outflow of me holding unto this point of ‘I am less’ was that I didn’t express myself within the self-confidence, comfortableness, and ease that I know I am capable of – instead my expression was more held back, passive, and hesitating – not as I would express myself with for example, my family, or my partner, where I am much more at ease with myself.

Thus, why is it that I have this ‘I am less’ experience?

From what I am able to see, it’s actually a form of protection mechanism, because when I hold myself in this ‘I am less’-character – I don’t show myself, I don’t open up, and I am not really HERE – the logic here is that I am then ‘protected’ – though the part that doesn’t make sense is why I’d like to feel protected and in that sacrifice my natural expansive expression?

Really, the question must be asked, I am in-fact protecting myself from a realistic fear, or is it but an assumption that I’ve made, that if I accept and allow myself to step out of my protections, I will be ‘hurt’ and ‘attacked’? And is there really such a thing as being mentally hurt and attacked?

I’d say – NO – there isn’t – and accordingly this shyness character, this ‘I am less’-character is not something that is supportive for me – and thus I must further practice living myself out of this habitual suppression tactic and realize that it’s really nothing dangerous out there, and that there are lot’s of things to do, many people to get to know, and projects to walk, if I accept and allow myself to step out of my character of diminishment, and be myself.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am interacting with people, and placing myself in a new environment, and with people that I don’t yet have a long-term relationship, to take in the position of ‘I am less’ within myself, and go into a state and condition of being shy, passive, and held back, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto this state of being, through believing that when I am in this state of passivity I am protecting myself from harm, and accordingly I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convince myself, and believe that there is some gigantic harm awaiting for me out there, if I’d accept and allow myself to step it up, and walk out of my shell, and practice self-confidence, self-trust, and self-authority, and be at ease and comfortable with myself regardless of situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that with other people, with so-called strangers, I am required to put on a mask, and be more passive, and held-back, in the belief that apparently, with strangers, if I would express myself, I would become attacked, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this belief that ‘I will be attacked’ isn’t in anyway substantiated within me with facts, it’s but an experience, but a fear coming up within me, that I pay attention to and live according to, without having cross-referenced with physical reality whether or whether not this fear is actually real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, and accept myself as held back, shy and insecure, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive and believe that I require and must be stuck in this experience, and movement of myself as insecure, and shy, and believe that this is something I must just accept, and that there is nothing I am able to do about it, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself in moments when I notice I go into this shyness, and passive character, to say – NO – and practice, physically, practically living self-confidence, and living self-trust – through straightening my back, and looking people in the eye, and communicating with a clear and stable voice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am with others, to participate within and as, and go into a fear that ‘they are talking behind my back’ and that ‘everything I do or say will be used against me’ – and ‘I don’t know what they are thinking about me’ – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a fear of how others are going to perceive and experience my expression, and fear that I am going to say or do something that will be termed socially inept, and accordingly I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry more about what others think about me, rather than me living and participating and moving myself as my human physical body, practically, physically, here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that others are to invite me into their life’s, and give me a sense and experience of ease and comfortableness, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for others to make me comfortable, instead of me pushing, and willing myself to be comfortable, to be at ease, and to trust myself and be confident, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that only I am able to give this point to myself, and as such I must practice this point, and one point relation to self-confidence that I see I must practice to walk out of this shyness character, is stopping blaming, judging and attacking myself when I am do a mistake – or when a social interaction doesn’t turn out ‘cool’ – because when I judge myself I make myself more self-conscious and less effective at simply being myself, and trusting myself here – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push and will myself to trust myself – and to love myself and live these words as myself through stopping judging and being hard on myself when I notice I make a mistake

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will immediately be able to step out of my shyness and ‘I am less’-character and that it will go without mistakes, and without effort – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it will be a effort to bring myself out of this particular character, and how it will be a process that will take time, application, and presumably, many mistakes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept and allow myself to make mistakes, to test things out, and to apply corrections, and not be afraid or worried that they won’t work, and realize that if I fail, or make a mistake, I can simply re-consider and re-align the point, and bring the point into a correction with is effective and works for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the general crowd of people in my life thinks that I am strange and dislikes, and likes other people more than what they like me, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as this fear and anxiety, the moment I say something, or share myself with another, that my words, and my expression, is going to cause within another a judgment, and a thought that: “I don’t like you” – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice and suppress my natural and easy-going expression as myself – in fear of what others think about me – in fear of how others feel about me – not seeing, realizing and understand that it’s obviously not cool for me to bind myself up in fear and justify this through thinking that I must have each and everyone like me

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I go into the shyness, and passiveness, and ‘I am less’-character, which I can see through me becoming held back, slouching my shoulders, and becoming hesitant in relation to whether I should speak or not, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I commit myself to live self-confident – and live this through straightening my back, breathing effectively and relaxing my physical body, accepting and allowing myself to caress myself within and as myself, and hold myself, and then move myself in the moment within and as self-trust – and confidence – as me being stable and living the fact that I am an equal with others – neither less – neither more

I commit myself to stop fearing that others are speaking behind my back, and that others are creating negative experiences in relation to me, and that they are creating resistances towards me – and accordingly I commit myself to trust myself, to stand by myself, and dare to live self-honesty, and have the courage of me being stable and expressive, and the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow, regardless of what another might or might not think about me – and I commit myself to live this correction through stating NO – I will not accept and allow these thoughts and emotions to overwhelm me – when and as I notice that this ‘what are others thinking of me ‘fear’ comes up within

Day 97: Physical Decision Making

A fascinating point that I’ve more clearly begun to see during to last couple of days is that of how I accept and allow another’s words, actions and living effect my own words actions and living, and that this happens on a automatic basis, wherein I simply do not question or make a self-directed decision whether, or whether not I should live a particular point, or decide upon a particular point, I simply do it.

120620-Decision-Fatigue-300x300So, I mean, bringing this point back to it’s origin, I am able to see that the main problem I’m faced with is my tendency to follow energy, to follow experience, to follow the mind, instead of sticking with the physical, sticking with breath, sticking with slowing down, and considering all points here, and not accepting and allowing myself to make rash decisions based upon a experience. So, the point isn’t real about me becoming manipulated and moved by the words of another, it’s about me becoming moved and manipulated by my own mind – a energy comes up and then without question, without any form of standing aback to take a closer look at the point, I just go with it.

It’s definitely a form of impulsiveness, simply because I follow impulses, I follow what comes up within me as a experience, as a thought, as a energy, and I do not consider what is REAL, PHYSICAL, PRACTICAL, TANGIBLE – I mean I do not consider what is in-fact here.

It’s really fascinating – even more fascinating is how I can in moments believe that I am making a decision that is “good” for me, I am making a decision that is “effective” for me – but the reality is that what I am deciding upon is simply a energy, my decision has got nothing to do with what is in-fact real, and thus my decision is in essence compromised – because I’ve not looked at what is real, but I’ve only looked at what I experience.

So, it’s interesting, a good decision doesn’t necessarily feel good, I mean the obvious point to realize is that a good decision shouldn’t have any form of feeling or emotion attached to it, it should simply be a decision – I see this, I’ve considered this, I’ve looked at this, I decide – done. This form of decision-making is the only one that can be trusted, because it allows no room for energy – and the primary problem with energy is that in making decisions within a energy – you only consider the energy, the experience, how you feel – and within that important considerations are missed, important points are looked away from, and instead the focus becomes on the experience.

Here I see that the only solution is self-honesty – it’s to when one make a decision, to assess why is this decision made, is there a experience within me driving me, are there points I am not considering? Have everything been considered or am I moving myself within an energy, within an experience? The primary point being to QUESTION one’s decision – and not just accept anything that comes up within self as being real simply because it feels good, or bad.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions in energy, in experience, in belief, wherein I look at how I feel, how I experience myself, whether I feel good or bad about the decision, whether I experience fear or a feeling towards the decision, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this way of making decisions is totally, and completely ineffective – wherein I am accepting and allowing myself to move from within and as a starting point energy, that in turn will have the effect that I compromise important points, I do not consider what is required to be considered, I just jump to conclusions and “go for it” – which obviously leads to me to make decisions that are simply not effective but rather consequential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a “impulsive” nature – and see myself as impulsive, as making decisions fast and without really considering them, and seeing that as “who I am” – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question who I am within and as myself, and to see, realize and understand that this point of being impulsive is in-fact programming, and that the consequence of being impulsive is that I make decisions that are ineffective, I make decisions that are not clear, I make decisions that are consequential, I make decisions that have an effect in my world that I could easily foreseen if I’d just slowed down and made a more substantial consideration of the point before I moved myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that going into energy, and feeling good about a decision means that the decision is good, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I can’t trust what I feel – I can rely upon what I feel – and that in a making a decision what I must look at is the actual physical outflows, and that my effectiveness in foreseeing the consequences of my decision will only be as effective as my ability to research relevant information, and to analyze the relevant information, to look at how it moves, and to make predictions based upon probabilities and possibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change my starting point in relation to decisions so that I make decisions that are effective in relation to what it is that I want to achieve, and realizing that all decisions must have a particular starting point else they will be hard to make – because it’s in establishing the starting point, as to what I want to achieve with the decision, that I will be able to look at my world and in reality and make a decision that will create the best possible environment for me to be able to walk through my decision into reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as energy in relation to making decisions, wherein I make decisions based upon how I feel, be it fear, or be it feeling – not considering the consequences of my decisions, the outflows of my decisions, the actual and real part of my decisions which is how I influence my life, the life of others, how I influence life on a greater scale – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow myself down before making decisions, to not slow myself down before participating in a particular point, to as such give myself the stability, and ability to make a decision as to who I am, and what I am – to make a decision as to whether I will participate or not – as to whether I will make a decision or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to become self-directed – meaning that I stand as the decision-maker in my life in every moment of breath, I decide who I am, I decide what I am, I decide when I am, I decide how I am – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as this decision maker within myself wherein I push myself to slow down, to consider all points, to consider myself, to look at the point and not just go with the flow, not just do what I feel, do what I experience, do what I want – but that I slow down and consider

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that impulsive decision-making have the consequence that I will create a life for myself wherein I have really no control, I have no actual insight and understanding into what it is that I am doing, I am just doing something, walking something, participating in something, without an actual sound starting point as seeing clearly what it is that I am doing; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here – and within this I accept and allow myself to slow down, to take that breath, to look inside myself, to look into myself, to question where it is that I am coming from, to question where it is that I am going, to not just accept what is coming up within me but to make sure that I am directive and stable within and as my decisions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions on a whim instead of realizing that in making decision on a whim I am not considering all relevant points, I am not considering and looking at points effectively, I am just making a decision on a whim because I feel like it – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the limited nature of feelings and emotions – and how in looking at and moving myself from a starting point of emotions as what I feel and experience the consequence is that I won’t in-fact be able to create a life for myself that is effective – all will be motivated by experience, all will be motivated by energy, and never will I’ve taken into account what is real and actual as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I make decisions, to assess decisions based on how I feel about them, to think, perceive, and believe that when I feel really good about a decision, then it means that it’s a good decisions, and to when I feel really fearful, or bad about a decision, this means it’s a bad decision; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I can’t possibly evaluate the effectiveness of decisions upon the basis of how I feel about them, simply because I can’t trust what I feel about decisions, I can’t trust what I experience in relation to decisions, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to take the entire decision making process back to a physical level – wherein I look at the actual physical real time points that are involved within a decision – and then make an assessment as to what decision would be the best looking at the most effective outflows of each and every decision

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am about to make a rash decision, and when I see that I am about to move myself upon the basis of a feeling, or emotion, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and I see, realize, and understand that I can’t move myself from within and as this possession of energy because it will only create consequences, it will only create outflows as me creating a life for myself this is not effective because it’s not based upon an actual physical assessment of my situation; as such I commit myself to slow down when making decisions, and make sure that my decision is based on actual physical considerations and not upon any form or experience of energy

When and as I see that I am evaluating and looking at decisions from a basis of energy, wherein I value a decision either as positive, or as negative, depending on how I feel about it, and how I experience myself in relation to the point, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I can’t trust my assessment of a decision when it’s done within energy, I mean the only valid point is to assess the actual physical practical outflows of a decision, the actual physical and practical implications of a decision – not the experience thereof; as such I commit myself to evaluate decisions whether they’re effective or not upon the basis of the physical effects and consequences of each decision – and not on the basis of how I feel to and towards the decision

Enhanced by Zemanta