Tag Archives: courage

Day 402: Holding Back and Imprisoning Myself

In this blog post I am going to bring up a couple of interviews that was done recently on Eqafe – more specifically: Holding Back and Imprisoning My Life – Life Review and Holding Back and Imprisoning My Life – Life Review – Part 2.

What is discussed in these interviews is daring to take the step into the unknown, pushing oneself to not hold back, beyond one’s perceived self-image – and actually CREATING oneself. The woman in the interview did not dare to do so, and she shares why, and what others in similar positions as her can do to not make the same mistakes.

As far as taking this point back to my own life – what I see is that I can definitely push myself more intensely when it comes to taking charge of myself in situations, voicing myself, and sharing who I am, and how I see that a point can be approached. My general tendency would be to hold back, and not speak, and to allow what is going on. However – that has many times led to me making compromises – me agreeing with things that I see are not working – me doing things, participating in projects, following people and pursuing ideas, that I see are not worthwhile – because I do not dare to open up and bring my voice to the table. Thus – this is something that I will push and practice.


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Day 387: Who Do You Miss?

Yesterday, while chatting with my Destonian friends, we decided to look at WHO WE MISS and what words these persons represent to us. I looked within me and I could see that I missed my father. To me my father represents warmth, acceptance and courage. My father has always been good at meeting new people, socializing, developing and tending to relationships, and as I see it, this is partly because of my fathers WARMTH. He resonates a genuine and innocent care and consideration towards the people he is close to – an attitude of unconditional acceptance – and that is something I would like to develop and create for myself.

Warmth

What does it mean to live warmth?

The way I see it, living warmth is to dare to be open to the world and people around me – to dare to take them inside of me and embrace them. Being warm is to dare to care for more than myself – to dare to be interested in more than myself – to dare to be passionate for more than myself. Being warm is to pulsate with a passion for life and what is best for all – and not accepting and allowing myself to rationalize and find seemingly rational reasons as to why I should not care – why I should not be passionate – why I should give myself fully in service of life.

How can I live this for myself?

I see that being warm with myself is to embrace me, hence I can practice embracing and holding myself. And then I can practice it by motivating myself to CARE for the small things in my life – to CARE for people and responsibilities – to INVEST myself in life and take personal responsibility – that can be done through being serious and attentive within what I am doing – to not do anything half-arsed.

Acceptance

What does it mean to live acceptance?

Acceptance is to embrace myself unconditionally – to not accept and allow myself to make up any reasons as to why I should apparently not accept myself – why it is okay for me to judge myself – why it is okay for me to be rough on myself. Acceptance is to DARE to be gentle with myself – to DARE to be open with myself and see everything of myself without reactions.

How can I live this for myself?

When something arise within me, it might be a tough, and for some reason, uncomfortable experience or thought – instead of judging it, and then trying to suppress to – to calmly and without reactions – look at what is going on within me – to observe what is going on within me unconditionally – to see it – and then establish solutions.

Courage

What does it mean to live courage?

Courage would be to not accept and allow myself to buckle down, crumble and go into my fears. Courage is to move forward and create even though it feels tough, even though there are doubts and fears. However for me, more specifically, courage would to put myself out there, to dare to be rejected or pushed away, though not accept and allow that to define who I am and what I have decided to do for myself. This is also what my father is very effective at doing – to place himself out there in the world – to grab the opportunities as they emerge and not accept and allow himself to hold back only because he does not know the outcome beforehand.

How can I live this for myself?

I can live courage by doing that which I see is best for me – that which I see is best for all – even though there are fears and doubts within me as to actually pushing on and doing it. Hence courage is simple in its application – it is to DO IT ANYWAY.


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Day 369: Self-Forgiveness On Fear Of Living A Boring Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming but a statist, a prop, someone that is uninteresting, and uninspiring, someone that leads a boring and predictable life, that has submitted to a life of survival – and fear that people will judge me as boring, and that when I die, I will feel that I did not do enough with my life, that I did not challenge sufficiently, that I did not push myself sufficiently to walk my process of self-creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up within and as a fear of losing my time to walk process, to fear that I am missing something, that I am failing at something, that there is a unknown variable in my life, of which I am not yet aware, that is slowly but surely moving to a close, and that I will not be able to see this aspect of my life until its to late, and then I will regret myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will regret myself, that I will look back in my life and think: ‘Shit, why did I not do X or Z instead’ – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on something that I am not sure on what it is – or how I should correct it – or if there even is something for me to correct – instead of focusing on my PRACTICAL living HERE in this moment – because in this practical moment I am able to make changes – I am able to direct myself – make concrete movements as to what I am going to do – improve – change – and walk – movements that I see will have an effect – and obviously my time is better spent in this area of my life where I do see what must be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having the time in my life to do what I want to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having the space in my life to do what I want to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having the courage, the insight, the seeing, to do what I should be doing, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that there is something I should be doing, that I am not doing, and that this is causing and creating problems for me, that I am not even aware of at this moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am doing things towards myself that I am not even aware that I am doing, that I am creating problems and issues for myself, that I am not even aware of, and that I am slowly but surely losing my ground, losing my presence, losing my life vitality, and that I am not even aware of this, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my life as this constant struggle to remain afloat and in control, to remain directive and in charge, so as to not accept and allow that anything or anyone else takes charge of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my life will be without purpose and meaning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my life will be without purpose, meaning and importance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my life will become irrelevant

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being locked into a constant state of survival and search for food and water and nutrition – that all of my life will become about finding resources to survive – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that this is all my life will be and nothing more

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am going to give into and lose myself in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am going to become to engulfed in making sure that I survive in the system that I completely miss out on what is of real importance to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I have compromised myself – to fear that I have now settled into a lifestyle that is meaningless – and that I am living my life – doing things – walking a way of living and creating myself – that in essence is meaningless – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having a meaningless and insignificant life that others view as nothing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to draw stability, value and comfort within myself, through making sure that others react to, and find my life interesting, worthwhile, and significant

When and as I see myself going into this fear of losing myself in the system, losing my time, losing my purpose and drive, losing my will to live because all of me is sucked into irrelevant points, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand, that fearing to lose myself in something, indicates that I do not fully trust myself, that there is a part of me that know it is possible that I can completely go into a particular lifestyle, and then forget all about what is of real importance, hence, the solution to such a mistrust, would be to push myself and my process of self-creation, to even more, make it part of my daily living application – so that it is not something that can be lost – but a stable and always present part of myself – thus I commit myself to apply self-forgiveness within me after each reaction I have – to apply and practice living words as corrections in the moment when and as I notice I go into some form of mind experience – to continuously and with regular intervals write my blog – speak self-forgiveness out loud and continue my participation in the Desteni courses offered – to thus make sure that my process of self-creation is a living thing that I care for and tend to – and that I make a part of myself


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Day 321: My Alternate Realities

Holding on to points, this is a tendency that has opened up within me during the last week. I have encountered this when it comes to second guessing decisions I have made, where I want to hold unto the potential direction that I did not choose, and when it comes to holding unto experiences – and in particular desires/wants/urges – when these experiences come up – it is hard for me to let go.

Why is it that I do not want to let go?

From what I can see, it has to do with the idea that if I let go, I will miss out and loose something that would have made my life a lot more entertaining and effective. For example with the decisions I have made with my career, I still hold unto, and do not entirely want to embrace the direction I have chosen, because, what if, that other direction that I did not pick was the better one? And then when it comes to desires/wants/urges – it is the same thing – because usually I will have made a decision and picked a certain path to fulfill a certain desire/preference – and then the fear comes up; what if that other direction was better?

Hence, why I want to hold unto things is because I fear missing out, I fear making a mistake, I fear doing the wrong thing, I fear not being able to experience my desires/dreams the way I hoped – and hence I create a way to hold unto that potential within me. Obviously, this does not work, because in physical reality, I have already made the decision, and in-fact, I am only compromising myself and my future by holding unto a alternate reality, because how can I give myself completely to my life if I am divided within myself? A house divided will not stand.

The solution is to embrace my life as it is here – the decisions I have made – to walk them fully and see where they might take me – to not accept and allow myself to live in alternate realities – but to live in this ONE reality HERE – and make the most out of it. To live the COURAGE of letting go of any alternate reality – to remain in ONE reality and make the most of what is in-fact HERE – for REAL. Because, is there anything that I can possibly gain by holding unto a imaginary alternate reality in my mind? No, nothing, as that alternate reality is not even real, and many times, not a possibility either, as I have already committed myself to the decision I have made to such an extant that it would be ridiculous to go back on it. I see that I must EMBRACE reality as it is HERE – and work with it – and make THAT the priority – WORKING with what is ALREADY here.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in and nurture alternate realities, prospects, hopes, and unfulfilled desires, that I want to be realized in these alternate realities, and thus hold unto emotional patterns, as I fear letting them go, as letting them go, would equally mean that I let go of my alternate reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that life is not created neither lived in an alternate reality, because in-fact, there is no such thing as an alternate reality, it only exists in my mind, and hence, I want to hold unto, and live for and as my mind, for the idea of a reality that exists in my mind, instead of sticking with what is REAL here, and developing myself, my life, my physical, practical living, on a day-to-day basis, to as such construct, and create something of real value, and not merely something that exists in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my emotional reactions, because I fear letting go of my alternate reality, and hence I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not make an absolute decision, in terms of making the decision completely, fully, without looking back, making my direction and clear and then moving myself, and hence not stopping up in mid-air, to look back, and see whether it might have been better to remain behind, because fact is that I am now mid-air, I have jumped, now the process and what is relevant is to direct myself HERE – and if I do not do that – I will create consequences for and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have difficulty letting go of an emotion, most of the times, it is because I am protecting and defending an alternate reality, a hope, a desire, an urge of wanting my life to be formed and shaped in accordance with my alternate dream reality, and hence I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not will myself to let go of the point – and implement the direction of LIVING and CREATING – and BUILDING myself and my life HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my alternate realities, in how I want things to be, instead of living and participating HERE with how things REALLY are, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remember that what goes on in my mind – in my alternate dream realities – that will not ever come real – it is a imagination, a accumulation of various believes and ideas, integrated into a false story existing in my mind, that will not ever exist, because it is not of and as physical matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace REALITY – and realize that the solution to my tendency of living in alternate dream realities, is to investing myself fully into this reality – into this life – giving LIFE my everything – and hence not accepting and allowing myself to vest my attention, focus and effort into a false reality existing only as pictures and images in my mind

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to invest myself in this physical reality – to give attention, focus and effort into living and creating myself HERE – to understand that I can only create my life here when and as I am here – and I am not split in my mind between various imaginary realities

I commit myself to embrace my life as it is HERE and make the best out of it – to give myself fully – through being HERE in each and every breath – and walking in every moment with and as breath – with and as my physical body

I commit myself to create in the physical – and stop myself when I notice myself going into my alternate realities of the mind – and to instead bring myself back here – and focus myself on creating and living HERE

Day 207: Making a Decision

Recently I’ve been walking the point of forming and creating a purpose for myself, and this have brought up some reactions of anxiety and stress – it’s quite interesting to see and I understand why this is so. It’s because I’ve not before in my life actually sat myself down to see what I can do, where I can contribute, how I can contribute, and then actually making that decision for myself as to what I am going to do. It’s definitely a challenge.

One of the points that I see is obfuscating the point of purpose for me is the emotion of fear – and stress – because usually this is the emotion that I’ve utilized in order to form a direction for myself in life. So, when I am now asking myself – where and how am I going to stand in this life? And I leave behind that point of fear as being my guidance for what I should do – what comes up within me is this point of silence and nothingness – and I realize that it’s here in this point of silence and nothingness that I must insert my new direction – my purpose – and that the reason why nothing is there already – is because I’ve not yet created anything.

The fear I want to work with in this blog is that of picking the wrong purpose – because what tends to happen is that I walk through the various options that I see would be valid for me – points in which I would be effective and that I will be able to push forward – and then when it comes to making the decision – selecting and deciding upon the way forward – what arise is fear and anxiety – because shit! What if I now select the wrong purpose? What if I realize some years into the future that I went into the wrong direction – and I didn’t go into the right direction? What if? What if?

Obviously – I must be willing to fail – I must embrace the possibility that I select a purpose for myself that simply isn’t my cup of tea – yes that is a possibility – and that some years into the future I realize that – hey! This point would suit me much better – here I would be able to really express myself and bring out my skills and life-experiences – and make the best use of them possible! This is a reality with all forms of decisions – that it might turn out to be a ineffective decision that one later realize could’ve been made in a different way.

Though if I don’t embrace and accept that possibility of failure, I’ll simply never ever make a decision – and that is not an existence worth living – just remaining stuck in a state of waiting for the right decision to emerge and come to me – not realizing that I must make the decision – walk the decision – and implement the decision – and only then will reality emerge and the point open up – and I’ll be able to see whether to take it in a different direction or follow on the course I’ve set out for myself.

Thus – the obstacle that must be removed is that of the fear of making the wrong decision – instead I must accept and allow myself to stand in the courage of walking into the unknown – making the decision and walking it and seeing what will unfold – that is the way ahead and the only way that I can actually move myself to create something – the other way is to never fail with anything – yet that will imply not ever getting out of bed in the morning and doing anything whatsoever – and what kind of life is that?

Living and making decisions implies a variable of uncertainty – a variable that is unknown that can’t be foreseen – it must be lived – and what I want to create as myself is the courage to walk into that uncertainty with my head held high – not accepting and allowing myself to remain in a position of stand-still hoping that something will come to me.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of making a decision in fear that it’s the wrong decision – and thus I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to wait with making decisions because I somehow believe that the right decision will simply come to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing and embrace the possibility of making the wrong decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to polarize myself in relation to decision-making – wherein I on the one hand imagine me making the right decision – a decision that will bring happinessfulfillment – and enjoyment into my life – and on the other hand imagine making a decision that will make my life fruitless – boring and unfulfilling – and thus I forgive myself that accepted and allowed myself to exist between these two polarities of either the perfect decision – or the opposite of the perfect decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this anxiety within me of making a decision and moving forward – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to know beforehand what the decision will lead me into – what will arise from the decision – what will come from the decision – what will happen when I make the decision – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spin myself into a state of imagination in trying to calculate my future – instead of realizing that making a decision implies risk – implies a certain variable of unknown

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the decision to live courage – in making a decision – standing by that decision – and walking the consequences of that decision – and then when I’m on the other side – evaluate and look what I’m able to learn – what I’m able to take with me – what I can do more effectively – what I can do more specifically next time I stand before a decision

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a decision as to what purpose I’m going to select for myself in life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that it’s going to be the wrong purpose – that it’s going to be a purpose that will not fit me – that will not work with my life and my surroundings – and my other commitments – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can save myself from making a bad decision through not making any decision at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in not making any decision at all – I’m merely placing myself in a state of limbo – in a state of going backwards and forwards – though never actually making a decision and moving myself upon that – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this type of forward and back motion inside myself is what generates fear and anxiety – and thus I commit myself to actually make a decision – decide upon my purpose – then walk my purpose – and stop fearing that it’s the wrong purpose – rather walk it fully – completely – with my whole being and stop the thinking that is totally unnecessary

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed within and as thinking patterns of what is a good decision – and what that will lead me into – and what is a bad decision – and what that will lead me into – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself stuck in a limbo of back and forth backchat of where to go and where not to go – instead of looking at my options – then making a decision and going with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make a decision as to where I want to go in life – and then go with it – stop worrying – stop existing in this state of fear – stop being ridiculously careful that I don’t make the wrong decision and instead allow myself to go for it – to simply do it – to realize that each process of deliberation must come to an end and that is where action must start – and that it’s ridiculous to simply deliberate and think about what I am going to do – because that is not how I create – I create through movement and through making my decision practical – physical – real and actual

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make my decision – but instead wait with making my decision in the belief that I will be filled with godly inspiration and have some form of epiphany that will make everything crystal clear – and I see, realize and understand that unfortunately nothing in life is that crystal clear – and that the best I can get is some form of muddy shit that I can see through somewhat – and make out the contours on the other side – and that is what I have to go on – then the next step is to make the decision – walk the decision – and bring the decision into fruition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that a faulty decision is better than an indecision – because when making a faulty decision I’ve actually made an effort – and I’ve moved myself to do something – and that is actually something that I can be proud of even though it didn’t lead to what I hoped – though a indecision is merely me standing back hoping that something will occur that then doesn’t occur – and in that I won’t have learned anything – but to stand and wait for things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the time for waiting is now over – and that I must make a decision and move myself – and that’s just the way it is – and that is what I will do – and I realize that making a decision even though it proves to be ineffective – far outweighs the consequences of not making a decision at all

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to make decisions when I stand before a choice

I commit myself to stand by the decisions that I make and walk them to their conclusion

I commit myself to create a purpose for myself – to decide upon a purpose and then walk it

I commit myself to not anymore wait for purpose and decisions to come to me – and thus I commit myself to actively move myself to make a decision and to stand by it

When and as fear comes up within me when making a decision, that I might be making the wrong decisions, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that following this fear will lead me into not making a decision AT ALL – and that I will remain in a limbo of simply not knowing where to go – what to do – and how to do it – and that is not how I want to lead my life – and thus I commit myself to make a decision – to see that making a decision is far better than not making a decision at all – even though the decision made is ineffective – because in making a decision – at least I’ve pushed myself and made an effort to create my life – and take responsibility for my life – and learned something through that – which will be far more valuable than just waiting for someone else to step into that position for me

Day 13: Test-anxiety – Fear of Wasting Time (Part 3)

An interesting point that I’ve noticed as I’ve studied for tests here at the university is that – when I’ve spent much time preparing myself – being diligent, and specific about knowing, and comprehending each detail of the course that I’ve read – is that I will fear not getting the best grade – because if I don’t – then apparently I’ve spent all the time I’ve been preparing myself in vain.

fearoffailureAnd this is a interesting point – because it shows to me that I want to have success – yet I am not willing to face the possibility of failure that is always a constant when I challenge myself, and go after something that I know will be difficult for me to achieve. I want to have the success – yet within this I fear reaching for, and bringing myself to success – because I fear the possibility of failure.

But obviously – I can’t reach greatness – pushing myself beyond my limitations, beyond what I believe myself to be capable of – when I fear failure – and the solution I’ve created in my mind is to simply not go after the success at all and let myself fail immediately, because then I won’t have to walk through the suspense of not knowing whether I will succeed or not.

Now – the problem here is not whether I will fail, or succeed – the problem here is WHO I AM within all of this – because one thing is clear – if I do not define myself according to either success, or failure – if I do not create fear towards failure, and desire towards success – I mean – then I am really FREE to move and participate in this reality according to the laws of physics – and to challenge, and push myself without putting anything of “me” into it – because I know that – whether I succeed, or fail – I will remain the same – here – breathing – stable – without emotion – without feeling – and without thought.

Thus – being stable in regards to the outcome of my actions, and my plans – that is something I must practice – because within infesting my plans, and actions with feelings, and emotions – I am making myself blind – and I make my actions become based upon nonsense – and lack all common sense – because I only see the energies – without realizing that the energies are really not relevant – because what is relevant is what is HERE – as the PHYSICAL – as that which I can TOUCH – SEE – and INTERACT with – that is real.

And here I see that – getting the best grades possible – that is a physical point – that will really make my future life a lot easier – as I will be able to be more stable in regards with money – thus – it’s a point to pursue and manifest – and achieving this point is a success – and not achieving this point is a failure – yet – it doesn’t define WHO I AM – it’s merely practical points of consideration – and the outcome of these points will have consequences in my life but they will not determine me – unless I accept and allow it; and this is the KEY to being stable in this reality – to live the realization that I am in this world – but not off this world.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire success, and to fear failure – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to infest my practical, and physical movement in this reality with feelings, and emotions – and making my participation in this world to be about how I feel – instead of it being about what I see is practical – what is see is beneficial – and what I see is supportive

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand – that I can have success, and I can have failure – yet this doesn’t mean that who I am is success, and who I am is failure – because I DECIDE who I am – not external events – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with my plans, and to become possessed with a preferred outcome – and to think that these points define who I am – instead of walking breath by breath – and manifesting my plans, and my decisions – without defining myself according to my plans and decisions

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I won’t ever get far in this world – and be able to manifest my plans – unless I am willing to accept failure – and embrace failure – because I see, realize and understanding that in striving for success – failure is a probability – but within this it’s to see, realize, and understand that failure is not a bad thing – and it’s not a emotional thing – it’s merely a sign showing to me that I’ve not yet taken into account all practical details required to be looked at for success – and that there is some calibration required for me to in-fact achieve success

4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want results, and to want success – without being willing to give the effort, and walk the necessary challenges in order for me to get to – and manifest that success – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, and desire success to manifest automatically – and that I am only to have success – and that I am never to face failure – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that failure is natural part of living – that is not to be feared – but is to be understood and learned from – because from failure – success is born – if failure is utilized, and seen in the correct way

5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect results without me giving of myself to produce such a result – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving of myself – when I can’t be certain that the results will be what I desire – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understanding – that living within such a fear – will have the consequence that my life never leads anywhere – and that I remain stuck – because I won’t dare to face the uncertainty of life – and accordingly never move myself – but only remain in my confined comfort zone

6. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that one of the primary reasons as to why so few human-beings manage to do something truly great with their life’s – is because of fear of failure – is because fear of going where self haven’t gone before – is the fear of not having success – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how our current school system is partly responsible for creating this disease within people – wherein apparently success is the only point that is valued – not realizing that failure is a stepping stone for success – and that real success can’t exist without recognizing, and seeing what failure is – and within this understanding how to direct a failure to become a success

Self-commitments

1. When and as I see and notice that I fear failure, and that I desire success – and that I am accordingly polarizing myself within myself; I immediately stop myself – I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand – that polarizing myself, and my reality into and as energies, and experiences – will not help me – but merely serve the lessen my clarity of seeing – and send me into a living wherein I do not act as what is common sense – but according to what I feel; as such I commit myself to act according to principles – to act according to mathematics – and not according to feelings, and emotions – as these points are not designed to be trustworthy guides of how to live my life

2. When and as I see that I am defining myself according to success, and according to failure – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand – that me being successful, or failing – doesn’t define me – unless I accept and allow it – as such I commit myself to stand – and live in this reality – but not be off this reality – but remain stable – objective – here – within and as breath

3. When and as I see that I resist, and fear failure – and that I try to avoid failure through simply not going for success – challenging myself – and pushing myself to achieve – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand – that in order to succeed – I must be willing to fail – by implication – as success can’t exist without it’s shadow-double – failure – because failure is the point showing to me that I have not yet considered physical reality – and that I as such can’t reach success because I am not here – and it’s as such not my enemy – but my friend – because it’s a teacher pointing to reality saying to me – hey! You’ve not looked at how reality functions – thus you won’t succeed!; as such I commit myself to embrace failure – to learn from failure – and to dare to strive for success even when this might mean that I will fail

4. When and as I see and notice that I want to have success – without willing myself to put in the effort – that hard work – and the discipline required to create such success – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that success will, and can only arrive – and be real – when I’ve physical walked the point into creation – success being that which I’ve created which I thought, and believed was beyond me – and that was a challenge for me to create; as such I commit myself to when I see a challenge to be faced – and I see that walking this challenge could imply success – I push myself to give the effort, and the discipline – and to needed physical walk in order to manifest success here as me

5. When and as I see that I am expecting results – expecting success – without doing what is necessary to produce such results/success – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that success is mathematical in nature – implying that success is a decision that I make and walk in every moment – and not something that just happens randomly, and by luck – as such I commit myself to walk the discipline, and dedication to live by mathematics – and not by feelings, and emotions

6. When and as I see that I avoid walking a particular challenge, and avoid creating my life to be what is best for me as all – because I fear failure – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that failure is the key to success – it’s what shows me what is working, and what isn’t – thus without facing failure I won’t be able to create success; as such I commit myself to face failure – to embrace failure – and to learn from failure – and to as such enable myself to manifest success in my world and reality – and within and as myself

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