Since I began opening up my point of purpose a couple of interesting realizations have emerged – and one of these are in relation to my choice of career – my decision of what I am going to do in this life in order to make money.
The problem that I’ve been facing is that of continuously preparing, changing and altering myself in order to fit into the idea of my future, and the concept of what I am going to do with my life, and the projection of how my life will pan out – thus – trying to alter and mold myself in this breath here in order to fit into a concept of a future that I’ve created in my mind – naturally this is going to cause problems.
This is not the first time that I’ve done this – creating a goal – a end-station – a point of future fulfillment and then going full on to reach that is a trait that have been with me since I can remember. The tendency is thus to formulate a final destination in my mind and then attempt and try to shape myself here – to fit into that idea of a final destination – instead of walking in the moment – within self-trust – knowing my direction and my purpose – and thus taking it breath by breath – realizing that I can only create in alignment with me and my physical if I am HERE and aware of what is going on both within and without.
Because when following a goal, a dream, a clearly defined picture in my mind – neither me as a being, nor my physical reality is taken into account – and consequently points are compromised, forgotten or missed – and the end result even though the initial goal might be fulfilled is not at all what it makes out to be – it’s rather a picture that underneath holds a lot of suffering and harm that was lived out in order to create the idea of the perfect life.
This is what I did when I decided to become a famous and recognized guitar player – I made a goal within me of what I wanted to become – then I started to shape all of my life, myself, my looks, my clothes, what I used my time for, everything, in order to attain that one singular future – obviously resulting in compromises – also resulting in me not seeing that guitar and music might not be the things that best complement my expression – not seeing that there are many other opportunities in my world that might be more relevant for me to walk into if accept and allow myself to do so.
Thus – goals, dreams, future hopes – when made into absolutes they become blindfolds and barricades that limits us from living HERE – because to live HERE we require to open to what comes our way – open to changes, new directions, new considerations, new perspectives, new people, new goals, new insights – unknown variables that we’re not able to foresee – but that unfolds as we walk the purpose and the decision we’ve given to ourselves.
As such it’s important that we give ourselves direction – to give ourselves purpose and a way forward – yet that way forward must only ever be a road sign – a sense of direction – that “Okay – I am going this way!” – not an absolute truth of how our future must turn out – not a undebatable religion that must be fulfilled at all cost – because a road sign must not determine the final destination – that must be something I do here – I am the driver and the road sign is merely a road signing pointing the direction as to where I want to go – yet I am actively creating – willing and moving myself towards the destination – as I proceed forward in life.
Here what opens up is the point of standing as the fountain of life – and making that fountain of expression that is me the point of creation from which my movement flows and moves – it’s thus a complete shift in perspective that is required – to instead of moving from the idea of where I should go – move from HERE as SEEING where I am to go next – where I am going to place my foot thereafter. Thus – making the pivotal point of movement MYSELF – SELF – the fountain of life HERE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require the mind in order to create – and that the only way to create my future is to attempt and try to change myself here into what I believe is required and needed for me to build my future – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself within and as self-trust – and moving and directing myself in the moment to create my future and external reality with me as the primary point of creation – as the fountain of life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself as a fountain of life – and as a movement and as the motivation to create and bring things into motion – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead place my trust into plans, goals and techniques – and ways to reach what I believe I require and need in order to get somewhere – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself as the fountain of life – and create my life and living HERE – create my future HERE – create my career and my relationship to money HERE
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ve been limiting myself in relation to self-creation – and in relation to creating my life and my future – through giving authority to the mind – as believing that in order for me to create and build – in order for me to further myself – move myself and get ahead – I require to emulate and mold myself here – and prepare myself into a particular shape and form to be able to fit into my future and my coming life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk into the future – to walk into my life – to walk here and direct myself in accordance with what is opening up in the moment – to trust myself that I’ll be able to direct and live my life here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become inflexible in relation to creation – wherein I believe that I require to form one plan – one idea – one fix notion of what my future must become – and how my future must be – and then that I shape and form myself here in order for me to fit into my future – and fit into my becoming in this world – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk into this life and this world as the fountain of life – and trust myself that I’ll be able to open up and direct my life in each and every moment as it opens up – that I’ll be able to create myself and direct myself according to the points that emerge and that I can find solutions and ways to deal with my life as I see it develops and moves
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to stand as the fountain of life in relation to money and career – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in order for me to create an effective future for myself – I must become something different from what I am here – instead of me creating my future as a expression of myself – as something that I move from here into creation – that I move from myself as the living breath and the living movement of the physical into actuality and physical manifestation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’m able to walk a purpose and a direction in my life – and that I make this purpose and direction my stability and groundedness – and that I then move from this point – yet I don’t accept and allow myself to become controlled and limited by any goal or plan – but that I remain here with myself in realizing that all creation stem from this point of HERE – and that in order for creation to be effective and potent – I require to be stable within myself – and make the movement of my life come into creation from myself as the fountain of life
When and as I see that I am going into a state of inflexibility, as moving myself from within and as a starting point that I must change myself, mold myself, and refigure myself in order to fit into my idea of how my future should play out – I stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I make the goal and the plan more than me – more than what is here – more than common sense in the moment – I am limiting myself and my creation of myself into the physical – and I am making myself less effective because I wait for me to change and mold myself into what I believe I must be instead of me moving and directing myself to express myself; thus I commit myself to stand as the fountain of life – and create my future – create my life – create myself HERE – and trust myself that I will walk what comes up in my world – that I will direct myself according to the points that I see are developing here and find solutions – and find the way forward
I commit myself to trust myself to stand as the fountain of life in my world – and to create my external reality equal and one to this fountain of life – and thus CREATE myself and my life – CREATE what I want my life to be – and not anymore wait for things to emerge – and hope that things are going to happen – but move myself everyday to actually will a change in my life and in myself that I’m satisfied and content with