Tag Archives: destonian

Day 445: Stand Still and Time for Reflection

Lately part of my life has been circling around the Corona virus and in particular the effects it has had on society and on myself on a personal level. For me this virus shows us people just how vulnerable and connected with the rest of the world we are. We cannot pretend that we are all powerful creatures and that we can do whatever we want believing there will not be any consequences. It is clear that earth is changing, nature is changing, there are now clear effects that flows from our actions and inactions.

The virus pandemic is in part caused due to our destructive behavior towards nature, where we constantly grab more land to be inserted into our economy, leaving none for the wild animals and plants that are needed in this world to keep stability and equilibrium. It is specific that the virus jumped from a wild animal to a human. It was a way for the virus to survive when its own natural habitat became threatened. And now, it has all the habitat it needs, as it has free access and roam to the entire human population.

We really need to stop this notion that things just happen, that virus infections just starts to spread. Everything is specific and this virus tells us that we need to have a look at ourselves. As human beings we have a role as custodians to fulfill on this earth, we could step into the responsibility and commitment to take care of earth and the animal kingdom, yet, we simply have not been able to consider anything else but our own survival and expansion. Thus, that is what we will experience, that will be our consequence. Now we get to experience how it is when a virus, set on its own survival, will duplicate and spread itself, and kill, in order to remain alive. How does that feel? That is what nature and the animal kingdom has to go through every day because of our desire to expand and have more, and more.

Our system has stopped for a moment, markets have crashed, and people look at it as an enormous tragedy. However, is it really that? Have we actually lost something of value? This entire system is not good for anybody. It does not serve life, it does not serve what is best, and there has never been any real passion and drive to create a better world for everyone. Thus, as I see it, we have lost nothing of value. In-fact, this virus has inspired people to become self-sacrificing and benevolent. Politicians are rushing to take economic actions that will save the ecosystem of their countries. People are trying their best to support one another to make it through the crisis and nature is replenishing herself because the meat grind of capitalism has finally halted. Those are good things. Finally some changes are being forced unto humanity.

If we want a stable world for our children, we need to change ourselves, and we need to change our system. Pandemics like the Corona virus will continue to spread and become increasingly hostile unless we do something. The solution is that we take responsibility and step into our creative potential – and decide to make this world BEST FOR ALL instead of just a pleasurable place for a few lucky individuals that happen to have all the money. We need equal money for all, we need a basic income, we need economic changes that put an end to this holocaust, where people and nature becomes the prey of greed.


Day 444: Asking Questions

What is really important? What is really valuable? Why am I here? Why am I doing what I am doing every day? Where am I going?

These questions are essential to me. It is so easy to start moving on auto-mode; going to work, going home, looking forward to the weekend, resisting Monday, and then you start again. We get caught in the rat race, in the wheel going round, and round, and we never stop to look where we are going. These questions are my moment of stopping up, taking a breath, and seeing where I am going and why.

I have listened to several documentaries covering people that have went through a terrible accident and barely surviving it. A experience that is frequently shared by the survivors is how they did not see the accident coming and how they have developed a deeper sense of gratefulness and appreciation of life after the accident. Thus the incidents actually supported the individuals to stop for a moment and take a look at their life’s and what is really important to them.

For me, at the moment, the thing I have realized is that I have a few things that are very important to me. It is my family, my child, and my process of walking to life, and it is creating value beyond myself, for life, reality, the physical, and people/nature. I do not want to live out my life in a bubble, only making sure I take care of myself. I want to contribute to a better world – not be part of the problem – but be part of the solution. Those things are really important to me, and those are the things that I want to build and create my life around. And if I would die having lived/expressed these parts of myself fully – then I would be satisfied and at peace.

I foresee that if more people would look more deeply at what they need, what would be best for them, and what they really would like to live, then life on earth would be very different. And at the moment the greatest hindrance seems to be survival. We are stuck to these survival fears, stuck to beliefs that we are not able or capable of changing our direction, because we are too dependent on money. And then our focus becomes survival, instead of realizing that we could be and do so much more. Pushing through the survival fear is difficult – however – a key that I have found is the realize that we really have no control, or at least, that our control is very limited. When we embrace the fact that life is a series of spontaneous natural changes that we have little power over – and we embrace those changes – money becomes less important – because we realize that the only resource that will stand the test of time is ourselves.

And that reminds me of a salesman that shared how he looked at the word security. He noticed that most viewed security as having a house, money and a stable income, whereas he viewed security as his own ability to handle and directed his world/life every day. And I would say that he did have a point – because what are we able to control but who we are and who we direct ourselves in every moment? Everything else is dependent upon a myriad of variables. And the Coronavirus is a perfect example of that.


Day 443: What We Can Learn from the Corona Virus

The Corona virus. That is what is on every news channel, in every newspapers, everywhere. It has consumed the minds of men. A few fascinating things has happened as a consequence of the Corona virus. One of these is that the economy crashed, which shows how sensitive and weak our current system really is. If we just leave the system for a couple of days, stop working, stop buying things, then it creates massive instability. To balance this instability the central banks are attempting to kick start the economy by inserting more money into the markets – however – it does not really work.

My question in all of this is why we are accepting and allowing ourselves to have and participate in such an unstable system. How come we accept and allow ourselves to create a world where we cannot even leave for a couple of days in order to be sick. And not only that the system is not designed to handle a flu, our personal economies are also not stable enough to handle being away from work for a couple of weeks. Most of us live hand to mouth. Thus it is not strange that this virus is spreading. Our current system is not designed to handle pandemics of such scale. We should all start to look at whether this is how we want to continue live. Because things will get even worse. If we take a look at the past year, it has been a year of nature becoming volatile and out of control. Human beings cannot anymore dictate what is going to happen. The forces are too strong to be held back.

Part of me is satisfied that nature is now standing up and showing humanity what we have accepted and allowed, because this seems to be the only way that human beings will wake up and start taking life seriously. Now when the Corona virus has appeared on the scene, nothing else is really of importance but taking care of one another. The various kinds of distractions that usually have such power over us, such as the imaginary polarities and conflicts between various sexual preferences, political opinions, academic ideas, they have taken a back seat – for once – we stand united to face a threat that will require us to work together.

What can we learn from the Corona virus?

We can learn to have better hygiene overall – both within and without – cleaning ourselves thoroughly and with detail and applying self-forgiveness and correcting any inner dirt before it is allowed to become spilled out.

We can learn to work and stand together and support each-other – and use news and information in practical way to support what is best for all.

We can look at how our current practices in farming leads to the creation of new diseases and how to support each other and all countries of the earth to develop effective healthcare system that can prevent new diseases before they are created.


Day 442: The Pharmacist

I watched a Netflix documentary called The Pharmacist. It is about a man called Dan Schneider that decides to become a pharmacist to support his wife and family. He lives a quiet and heavenly life together with his wife and two children, one son and one daughter. Everything is perfect, until one day, his son is murdered in a drug deal. Dan is utterly destroyed and is thrown into a abyss of pain, confusion, sadness, hurt and anger. And to deal with this pain, he decides to catch his son’s killer. Eventually he does – however he cannot rest. Because of the way his son died his eyes turn to the medical industry and a new drug called OxyContin, which is a pain medication based on opiates, and hence, highly addictive and dangerous in larger doses.

He begins to notice a irregular pattern in the prescription of OxyContin. Young people between 20 to 25 years start coming into his shop with prescriptions written by a certain doctor called Clegget. And what stands out is that they do not seem to be in that much pain and the doses they are prescribed are unusually high. Dan becomes suspicious and starts his investigation and uncovers a can of worms. He discovers that dr. Clegget runs a pillmill, and that is basically a drug dealer that presents itself as a pain clinic.

Soon the consequences starts to emerge in Dan’s community. Young people die in overdoses in large numbers and Dan intensifies his investigations and contacts governmental agencies in order to put dr. Clegget out of business. In the end, he manages to shut down dr. Cleggets practice, and he continues his work by sharing himself and his experiences of drugs in schools.

Dan makes a definitive difference in his society. From being a middle class dad minding his own business, he is transformed by this extremely painful event, to become a force of good. He is driven by empathy as he does not want anyone else to experience what he went through. In all the young addicts he sees his son and he pushes himself with patience and remarkable perseverance. He practically lives the point of oneness and equality as he extends the care and love he experienced for his son to the rest of his world. I found that remarkable and inspiring.

What I could see is that if all of us would do this in our worlds, in our professions, in our communities, if we each would take on a point that we want to change, that we see could be better, and persevere, we would have a different world. It is interesting that Dan needs to experience a great trauma in order to realize his responsibility towards his community and that his world is not a lone island – it is part of the whole.

Dan moves beyond a factor that tends to limit us; the trust and hope we put in our governments. He is not satisfied with contacting the government. He creates his own investigation, draws his own conclusions, and form his own movement. And that is really amazing. And what is more. He does this without any particular funding but his own average, middle class salary. If we take a look at these apparently great philanthropists, such as Bill Gates, what do they do but give a small portion of their money to projects and hope that this will solve all problems? That way they can ease their conscious and keep the rest of the money to themselves. Dan Schneider he got his hands dirty. He moved with passion and did whatever it took to find a way forward – and that is the mentality we need. Rich philanthropists might have a lot of money, but that does not matter when there is no real care and love for humanity.

Thus – I learned a lot from this documentary and from Dan Schneider – what he did was fantastic. I will practice walking with his stamina and determination and seeing myself as part of the whole instead of a isolated individual in my own bubble.


Day 440: The Dark Side of Success

I recently watched a Netflix documentary called Cheer. I can recommend it. It follows the best junior college cheer leading team in USA – the Navarro College Cheer. The team members range in age from 16 to 18 and are doing their first or second year at the college – and what takes up most of their time is their training. They put in many, many hours of practice to be able to complete their gymnastic and acrobatic routines. It is athletics on a high level and several times it is explained that the career of a cheerleader is over at the age of 19, because by that time the body is worn out.

The one thing that struck me was how everyone seemed to be possessed with the want to win – to such an extent that they would go to any lengths to secure their medal. And it is interesting to see how the sport has evolved and gotten more and more extreme, where teams have constantly pushed the boundaries forward. Throughout the documentary several cheerleaders complains about aches and exhaustion. And many mentally break down because of the pressure that is induced. Still, everyone accepts this as normal, and continues – because somehow they are convinced that winning will make up for it all.

It is fascinating to see how much mental and physical pain the team and their coaches go through. Anxiety, fear, stress, conflicts, anger, irritation, blame, jealousy, day out and day in, for a year – all because of the hope to win one competition at the end of the semester. And – SPOILERS – the team does win their title in the end. But was it worth it? Everyone seems to think so, when they run out of the stadium to celebrate, drunk on feelings, feeling like they are floating – because they can call themselves CHAMPIONS.

This behavior is normal – in adults. Kids, they do not do this and neither does animals. And I think it is because they are much more present in this moment that any pain and discomfort that they experience HERE will be prioritized and solved immediately. They will not remain in the pain and the struggle for several months only to fulfill a vision in their mind – that kind of mind functionality does not exist within them. However, in us adults, it does. And because of that we are able to plague and harm ourselves in our drive for success and victory – completely oblivious to the damage we are causing.

Competition, winning, success – conditions we have come to value so highly, but why really? These things are so cold, singular, and needs separation to work. There must be a loser, there most be a failure, for someone to be the star. Is it possibly the drama and energy within it that we have come to desire, or have we never asked ourselves whether this is what we want to pursue in life? What about equality, family, support and togetherness? Working together instead of working against one another. Perhaps we are not ready to see yet the damage that our constant drive for more is creating. We are still zoned out. Though, we have a world around is that is trying to show us something is wrong. Mentally damaged children and a nature that is collapsing. Why is it that we value our capitalistic lifestyle more than giving EVERYONE what they need to live a good life. It is beyond my understanding and frustrating – because I see that we could create it.

When I was younger I played many sports and I really, really enjoyed them. Unfortunately, the coaches were possessed with the desire to win – and eventually – all joy was sucked out from the game and all that became relevant was the price. This is something we as adults have to change – we cannot allow ourselves to suck the life out of everything just because we desire success. Children should be shown an example of what it means to truly express and enjoy life unconditionally – to enjoy sports unconditionally – to enjoy what is here without dreaming about the future and something more. That is our real challenge. Winning is easy – but living – that is something we have yet to accomplish.


Day 439: Resisting Change

There is a quote from Lao Tzu that I have found very supportive and insightful when things in my reality seems to become shaky:

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

What this quote shows to me is the benefits of letting go of control and expectations. Why struggle to create something that simply does not want to come through effectively? And how many of us do this. We are stuck in life situations that we desperately try to keep moving – and all the while – there is this struggle that underlines every push. What would happen if we let go of our visions and start working with what is real? What would happen if we dare to kill our darlings and look at things with fresh eyes. Sentimentality is a completely unnecessary luggage.

I have seen this clearly when it came to the career I decided upon. The interesting thing was that I initially tried to become a musician. And even though I loved it – there was a struggle, a fight, and conflict existent. It was seldom smooth and effortless and I never got the results I wanted. It was as if there was something off – I could not get through the way I wanted. And then I decided to change direction – and I pursued a profession that I did not particularly enjoy – however – I was really good at it. And when I aligned my vision/future according to my real self and my actual strengths – and even though it was not easy – it was not the same struggle anymore. There was a light in the tunnel. And the results I achieved were very cool and convinced me that I was on the right track. I stopped resisting what was naturally here with me and instead went with it/nurtured and strengthened it.

Animals do this as well. They are most of the times extremely specifically designed to fulfill a particular role in their environment. And no animal tries to actively alter their physical design to fulfill a different purpose in their environment – because for example – they have a dream or vision about it. Animals embrace their physical strengths completely and use them – they do not resist their nature. And that is something many of us humans miss. We think we have to become something different – we compare ourselves – and we use ideas of what is good and what is bad to make decisions. None of that is based on REALITY – on WHO we really are.

Change is part of reality – resisting change is the same as resisting reality. And what happens when we do resist reality is that we create conflict – both within and without. However – this does not mean that we should become followers. Rather – we should become practical and learn to work with what is here to achieve our goals – and to align our goals to reality – and be open to change our direction when something does not work. This is something that I am practicing. And it is balancing act – because being too practical, and too accepting of what is my reality at moment, can also lead to complacency and the creation of comfort-zones. Going with the flow can easily become detrimental if there is no direction – no vision of what we want to create/manifest – and in such a state we can accept less than what we are capable of becoming/doing.

Hence – while I do not want to resist reality – I also do not want to accept reality when it is less than what it can become. And struggles do not necessarily need to indicate that our approach is misaligned – it can be a point we are trying to create that is a big challenge – yet still possible to be created. What it comes down to is self-honesty. We need to listen to ourselves, our hearts, and our self-honesty and also let some doubt in now and again, so that we can question where we are at and what we are doing and if that is what is best.


Day 438: Blaming Politicians

The politicians are to blame! We need new ones! – that is the theme of so many chronicles. It is always someone else’s job to fix the shit we are in. We are so good at spotting, describing and voicing problems, yet when it comes to fixing them – we have a long way to go. What if all those journalists and critics instead would join a party, or create a new one, and sign themselves up to be elected. However very, very few do that. And those that do, well, it is their fault that we are in this mess.

For some reason politics have become separate aspect of society and life, something that we just expect others to handle while we go to work, enjoy our hobbies and live the good life. And when it does not work, we became mad as hell. In my country of origin, Sweden, this anger and frustration has taken form in the way of people voting for a party with a slightly racist party-line with many politicians that have questionable backgrounds. It is our way of saying – fuck this shit – it does not work – then I will vote for this fucking party instead. I am not saying it is wrong to get angry – but why do we not do the math – that in order to change political outcomes – we have to engage in politics practically. We cannot just sit on the sidelines and scream and expect things to become better.

And that reminds of a quote I read today. A women that were complaining on the decline of social services that noted in a passage that it cannot be up to normal people going to work to support the less fortunate – that must be a job for the government. And my question is, why should it not be up to us? Why must we at all times have some intermediary that steps in and does things for us, in any case we will get frustrated with the end-result – because it is not as good as we  wanted it. We have placed our power to affect social and political change outside of ourselves and instead of doing something – we complain. And we are really good at complaining. If we would be able to change things by complaining, many things would be different. In-fact I suspect we would be living in heaven-on-earth. It is unfortunate that complaining never leads to anything worthwhile. Complaining is the opium of the dissatisfied. It gives the sense of something being done while all that happens is that meaningless words are uttered and then lost forever because no one acted on them.

I wonder what would happen if all of us engaged with problems and tried to establish and suggest solutions. How about, instead of writing a angry chronicle, you write a article outlining a way to solve an issue that you have noticed. And then you could send a copy of the article to the politicians you now are involved in that particular issue. That would be supportive and constructive, while complaining and ranting is the opposite. Nobody is encouraged by someone calling out all the errors and faults that they see. Though somehow, we think that politicians are different, and that they should take our concerns seriously and act upon them.

I work with law and it has happened to me many times at work that people are flabbergasted by the content and consequence of certain legal acts. And when they are at the receiving end of the law they are quick to share their discontent. What I sometimes tell them is that they do have an ability to change that particular law by engaging in politics and by democracy change the law. And that is also why we cannot blame anyone else for how our society looks. We built it. We created the laws, whether by direct action or by allowance, it does not matter, we did it. I am all for finding problems – WHEN – we take responsibility for the point by also offering or suggesting a solution. And it does not matter if others like the solution or not. What matters is that we did that little extra to show that there is a way forward and that we do not have to remain in status quo complaining forever more.

I do not say that we all have to engage in politics, though what we must all understand is that we have a responsibility as to what goes on in politics. And whether we decide to act through representatives or by creating lobbying groups or by writing articles to create a debate, it does not matter, what is important is that we take co-responsibility and stop the blame game. We need people that are willing to work out the kinks of the problems to get forward – not only those that point them out.