Tag Archives: destonians

Day 430: Sparking Life in a Survival World

It can be challenging keeping the spark of life alive and growing as we become adults and enter into the survival system of the world. All around us is designed in the principle of survival. All of the words we hear, designed in the principle of survival. You put on the news, you hear about survival. The moments where you are allowed to for a moment just be yourself and enjoy a moment are very few. However – we cannot blame the world as it is. We have to learn how to live our spark of life within what we do – and also – to schedule in moments of unconditional expression into our lives – we must treat it as something important – something we need to blossom – and not see it just as any kind of hobby.

I would say that our desire to survive limits our ability to live with a spark. If we would be less concerned about survival, life would open up. There are so many things we avoid, so many things we do, so many things we want to do that we do not, because of, fear of survival. Children do not care about that. They are childlike and not yet afraid of death. We can learn a lot from them. However, it is important to be realistic. We cannot live and express the same as children, because adults, our realities expand and we are required to take on responsibilities. The trick is learning to live with a childlike spark and still remain functional in the adult world. And that is something I have been working a lot with.

I have realized that most of my dreams/visions for the future exist because I have suppressed my childlike expression in the moment. In my dreams, where I have for example gotten a particular position in my career, I feel alive, wholesome and content. And thus I strive to create that, believing that it is only by manifesting my dream that I will be able to feel that way. This is the mistake. The truth is that the dream is only a projection, a form of postponement – the real change is waiting to be made in every moment of every breath. Few children have dreams of the future – because they live fully in every moment. Why dream of something more when there is no lack in this very moment? It does not make sense. Hence – most dreams indicate that there is a state/condition of lack existing within self.

I am not saying that all dreams are bad. We live in a practical reality – and practical changes will have an impact on our well-being. Earning more money can for example open up possibilities – meeting a partner can be a gateway to new experiences. What makes dreams deceptive is when we believe that they will change our self-relationship – change the experience we have of ourselves in every moment. That is something we take with ourselves everywhere we go – and it cannot be changed by external forces. It is a job that must be done by ourselves.

In my process I have spent a lot of time decoding my dreams/visions to understand what they are showing to me about my expression. For example – when I greatly desire to buy new power tools – this tends to be because I have had a moment of unconditional expression/enjoyment working with wood. My mind then takes this expression and translates it into a energy/desire – and if I am not careful – I will start believing that the gateway to more enjoyment is by purchasing new things. The reality is that my enjoyment/expression is dependent upon me – and it is something that I open up and create – and for that I do not need a particular power tool. This is something I apply to all of my desires/visions/dreams – I look at what they are saying about me and whether it is a genuine and practical vision of the future that I have. A desire to travel abroad can for example imply that I do not accept and allow myself to live adventure/stimulation in my everyday life. And then instead of creating that to be a part of my life – I want to experience it by traveling to a different country.

If I go back to survival – my initial point. This is a system that suppress our expressions and our spark of life. Practically speaking, survival is necessary – however – from a life-perspective – survival is not the reason why we are here. Survival is a means to an end – it is not the end in itself – and that is important to remember when everything and everyone else in the world seems to be convinced that the only thing of importance in life is to survive.


 

Advertisements

Day 429: Survival and the Environment

One thing that is not properly addressed in the climate crisis debate is the human crisis and how that is the main contributor to the destruction of nature. Lack of human rights, such as money, will make men savage opportunists that do not care about ecological balance – they care about survival. An example of this is Brazil and its use of the Amazon rain-forest. The Brazilian farmer och logger does not care about the rain-forest as a ecological resource – they view it as a source of money. And that is because the average Brazilian is in dire need of money to survive – and the amazon offers such opportunities.

When people are in need of money – they will act in a state of survival and do whatever is necessary to survive. When there are no Human Rights – there cannot be any Animal or Nature Rights. And thus – from what I see – the problems with nature and our environment will only continue and increase until we as a race stand up – together – and start taking care of one another. We cannot ignore that most countries in the world are still poor and that their inhabitants want to increase their living standards to the level of the western world. They also want I-Phones, cars, new clothes, and bigger houses. And it is understandable that the leaders of developing countries have a difficult time keeping their composure when the industrialized world wants them to cut back on their environment footprint.

Nothing exists in a vacuum. To come to grips with the environment – we have to look at the underlying causes – the reason why we put such strain on our surroundings. Why is it that we have no learnt to live in equilibrium with nature and animals? Why is it that we have not learnt to respect nature and animals as equals? The way I see it – it comes down to a few primary aspects. One of these is capitalism. This is a system built on the urge to survive and compete – and for those that are at the bottom – there is no time to value life. Capitalism needs inequality, it needs misery, it needs fear – it feeds on these conditions – because from it is birthed the motivation/drive to win and survive. That in turn apparently supports people to come up with marvelous ideas and new ways of contributing to society. The truth is that it creates a race to the finish line – nobody works together because somehow – there is not enough for everyone.

This is the real problem we need to deal with – massive inequality and poverty. Those are the real threats to our environment. And for anyone that cares about nature – it should be a given to focus also on finding solutions to these problems. The cause of all our misery is the human being forced into a state of survival – and the solution to our problems will be a human being supported into a state of stability/happiness/giving.


Day 428: Rest and Recreation

It is important to not forget to do creative and enjoyable things. When you become an adult, and you start working, and start doing adult things, it is easy that life becomes heavy, serious and burdened. Everything starts circling around responsibilities and what has to be done – and that can take a toll. Thus – I have found that I need to have an creative outlet – a part of my life must be without rules, boundaries and responsibilities – and for me – that part is such as expressions as music, gardening and painting.

There is an indication that I use to see when I need to prioritize R&R – and that is a feeling of listlessness and apathy. The experience that instead of doing something with myself and my time when I am done with my responsibilities, I rather just want to sit and take a break from sensory experiences. When that happens to me – I know I need to go into my creative space more and spend time doing some quality expression.

What happens if we do not give ourselves time for creativity and activities that we genuinely enjoy? Well – in my experience my ability to concentrate, focus and give myself in other areas of life we decrease. I will become less effective at work, less able to share myself with the people close to me, less present and less functional over-all. Thus it is important to remember that when we do stuff we enjoy – for seemingly no reason – these are essential moments that we need in order to handle and be the best that we can be in the other parts of our lives. And it is important to no compare ourselves with anyone else. There are people that can keep going without rest or leisure time. They can work for hours upon hours and they can deny themselves vacations and time for recreation – and it does not seem to bother them. However – everyone is different – and we must learn to listen to our own needs. For me – I need to have time for my hobbies every week – else this sense of exhaustion will start to emerge.


Day 427: Money Talks

What makes people lose touch with their idealism and willingness to give? One prime factor is survival. We are all geared to ensure our survival, and we live in a environment where our survival is at all times threatened – now this makes for one consequential brew.

It is fascinating to see how this urge for survival and desire to expand our monetary empires takes precedence over things that really matter. How many of us spend time and energy on pursuing solutions that will bring forth a better world compared to how many spend time browsing the web for new things to buy? Solutions for all – something that matters – is for most of us less of a priority than ensuring our own monetary growth. And even if we have plenty of money – our tendency is still to continue the race for survival. Hence – somewhere in the evolution of man – something went wrong. We became bitten by the desire to consume, spend, use and throw away. This is I would say one of the main diseases we face in the world that is also contributing to environmental instability.

And how much time do we spend finding and researching to acquire help and direction for ourselves, compared to how much time, energy and focus we put into money? If we could use the same urgency, intensity and drive that we experience towards money and give it a useful direction – this world would be very different – we would be very different – everything would be different. I would love to live in such a world where all human beings come together to help and assist one another unconditionally. Where there would be no fear of survival, because we all had each others back. At the moment that is not the case. And when someone falls others rush to fill their spot. It is not strange that we are so gripped by fear of survival – because the consequences of not making it in the system – they are very real.

It is interesting to see that many of us believe that fear of survival and competition is useful and needed to keep the world moving forward. The belief exists that unless we would be able to compete and earn more money, nobody would seek to achieve anything. Development would stop and humanity fall backwards into stages of devolution. This belief proves how little we trust ourselves and our genuine passion and spark. Because I firmly believe that all of us have a spark – a desire to give – that is not motivated by money but by a higher purpose. I have experienced this many times. When composing music, I did so because of the fulfillment and enjoyment – not because I wanted to earn more money. And in my current job. My primary motivation is the fulfillment I experience when I help, support and stand by others in their time of need.

And if money would stop being our god, I believe we would be able to enter into an era of fulfillment. We would work because it fulfilled us – not because we had to, or because we were in fear of survival. At the moment – the only sign that such a life is possible can be found in the expression of children. They are not controlled by money. They are their own masters – and instead of existing in need of more – they are content with and create their life with what they have available.

Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

Lao Tzu

This quote is so simple and yet at the same time so expansive. It pin points one of the problems with western civilization. The belief that we need more to be content. The problem is not that we do not have enough. The problem is that we have not understood or practiced how to be content with what we have. Hence we are stuck in a constant search for more. The next gadget, the next relationship, the next journey, the next job, and in our minds, the next thing will be THE thing that is going to put our heart at rest. Though there is still this emptiness, that can be filled for moment, but that will return.

Hence, to wrap it up. Fear of survival, it is a fuel that keeps is constantly on the move, constantly trying to get ahead. However, what we miss is ourselves and our expression – or spark – and in our race for the finish line – we miss to be content with ourselves. In a world with content and relaxed people, life would be so much easier. Instead of fighting to get ahead – life would be about finding what is special about ourselves and how we can use that gift to contribute to society. And that is the society I want to live in.


 

Day 426: The Spy

I am in the midst of watching a new series on Netflix called ‘The Spy’ starring Sacha Baron Cohen in the lead as Eli Cohen. The latter is based on person that have existed for real and that was one of Israel’s most successful spies. In the series we get to follow Eli Cohen has he goes through some nerve-wrecking encounters with death.

The series effectively transmits the experience of constantly being in danger of exposure that is part of the espionage trade. And being caught spying has always been treated with some of the most severe punishments available. Not only that – being caught spying also implies that your entire social network will turn against you in a moments notice. All of the relationships you have built up with your spy persona will crumble and you will be all alone in a foreign country. And that is a constant fear for the spy – because he knows he is different – he carries a enormous consequential secret that he cannot share with anyone – because if he does – he will be punished.

It is this experience of anxiety that has been the biggest takeaway for me – and it has opened up some aspects of how I function. For example – to me it is important to be honest and genuine. It is also important to have harmonic relationships and thus I will seldom do things to risk my relationships – mostly because of anxiety. And by watching this series I have been able to face some of that anxiety and understand it better. The thing about Eli Cohen is that he does not care about what others think about him. He is completely certain in himself and in his mission. He does not care about losing his relationships. He only cares about completing what he set out to do. And even though that is a limiting and destructive way to see things, when taken to the absolute as Eli Cohen do, it is something that I am able to learn from. Because with me, I care too much about how others see me, and too much about having balance and harmony in my relationships.

If there is something I want to practice and push in my life it is to be less moved by what others might think about me. I want to make my own decisions and live my life with my own self-honesty as my guide and not be moved by what others think is right or wrong – or by the emotional outbursts of others. When I am afraid of what others think about me – I end up living the life of someone else. And what is the point of that?


 

Day 425: Rewarding Relationships

Relationships are hard work and that is why they are so rewarding. There is no thing you can buy that can create the same sense of fulfillment, intimacy and meaning. We can search for it in consumerism and money – and for a moment – when we buy something new – we might feel like we are on the top of the world. Though it is just that shock of adrenaline pouring through your veins – and when the drug is used up – the same feeling of melancholic emptiness will resurface.

Relationships on the other hand, when nurtured, will support you to develop a deep feeling of gratitude and warmth. It will support and challenge you to expand yourself, to learn, to develop your communication skills, your skills in handling conflict, and more. Hence – at the same time as it can occasionally be tough – it will bring rewards. For example, the reward of seeing your child grow and develop into a self-willed and loving individual. Or the reward of seeing the relationship with your partner take on new depths of intimacy. The more you push, the more you invest, the more you move beyond your resistances, the more you will get back.

It is unfortunate when relationships are scrapped in difficult times even though there is still potential left to be discovered. However because we take the situations personally, because we react and blame, it seems rational to call it quits. The way we handle relationships in such difficult times is similar to how we as a society handle things that break down. We throw it away and buy a new one. This is how it works in a throw-away society. We believe that everything can be replaced, easily, and that it is the right way to go, when things do not work. And similarly to how we are less in touch with the things we own (not many can for example repair a car these days) – we are also less in touch with the people in our lives. Our sense dependency towards one another has disappeared and have been replaced with the opportunity to buy something new.

The way I see it – we would all be happier and more content if we would start creating deep and meaningful relationships beyond the throw-away mentality. And in-fact – not only doing so with our people-relationships – but with the relationship we have with our animals, our things, our food and interests – all of our life in-fact. If we all would have depth – we would not feel so disconnected and disassociated – because we are part of a whole. We are not alone. That sense of being alone that is created in a society ruled by money, where seemingly there is no dependencies, that is false. The creation of our current consumerist system has made it more difficult to see how we are all connected and dependent on each-other – though underneath the surface – the dependency is there. And even though we might not anymore be dependent on our immediate neighbor – all of us on planet Earth shares the same destiny.

There are many new and interesting developments in the world where I see this urge to have depth and meaning flourishing into various kinds of events. For example, it has become popular to grow your own vegetables, to buy second hand clothes, and to buy food that is produced ethically. We do this because we want to get in touch with what is real and experience the fulfillment of having, caring for and investing ourselves into our relationships. The entire package – not only the experience of buying, owning and using.

I myself have for some time been growing vegetables. And it has helped me to see and appreciate the value in food and the effort it takes to produce it. When I buy my groceries in the store, it is impossible to see the process behind every product, and hence it becomes easier to take it all for granted. And I have walked a similar process with relationships to understand why depth and intimacy is not something that can be created in an instance – but that it requires effort and time to build.


Day 424: Big Changes In Small Steps

There is this notion that change must imply something big, massive – one decisive revolution – one impactful movement that puts everything on the line. What I have noticed within myself is that  this belief about how change takes place often has discouraged me from pushing to make the apparently insignificant changes in my life. When I have considered changing these aspects, or contributing to society in a small way, by for example engaging in a political group, I have thought that there is no use – it will only bring about so little – there is simply no meaning to it – hence I will not do anything at all.

This kind of thinking shows us two belief systems. One of them is that we alone are too small and insignificant to make any kind of lasting impact in the world. The other is that what we do and how we live in our day-to-day life does not matter – and that we have to become president, famous, a star, to have any form of influence. The result of living out these belief systems is that we do not do anything at all – and that we do not push for the small improvements in our life – because we believe them to be of no worth. We do not even push ourselves to correct our immediate relationships – because what is the use? It will not create any lasting change anyway.

And it is interesting as well to observe how people that have lived so called successful and influential life’s, many times have had massive issues in their private relationships. They have only been able to live their passion to improve and expand outwardly into the system, and not been able to share this process with their close ones. And many times the personal hell they created not only for themselves but also for those around them caused deep ripples. Hence – it is important to remember that all types of change for the better are important – not only those happening out in the world system.

The key is to stop valuing and comparing the movement to improve, to empower and to change. We have to understand that each and every step forward that is taken is needed no matter how small it was. And that the interesting thing about change is that it takes place in the small, in the parts that are barely noticeable, and then one day, the small parts have together formed so much momentum, that what seems to be a big and overwhelming change takes place over night. However what has been missed are the small, apparently insignificant actions, that brought about that shift. And this can unfortunately go both ways. We are also able to accumulate acts that are negative and that diminish us – and then after a while – we notice the destructive end result without being able to see how we got into such a bad situation. This is the magic of accumulation in the small.

The same principle of accumulation can be found in how what we think will eventually influence what we speak, and that what we speak will eventually influence how we act, and that our actions will eventually become our habits and our general character. In when we are at the end of such a process – it seems as if it has always been that way. For example – we have apparently always been lazy and there is now nothing we can do about it because it is such a big and general characteristic to change. However creating that laziness was a process that initially started in the small, in the minuscule, in the barely noticeable, with apparently innocent acceptances and allowances, that then got bigger, bigger and bigger.

Hence – anyone that feels that change – whether in the system or personally – is too much – and because of that does not do anything – remember that change takes place in the small and manageable. Change takes place in our sphere of influence – and unless we are HERE – PRESENT – and WILLING to act we will miss our moments of opportunity – because you will have opportunities – every day to take the path you desire for yourself, your fellow man and our common future.