Tag Archives: direct

Day 363: Self-Expansion, What is it?

Self-expansion, what does that mean? How are we able to live self-expansion in our lives in a practical, concrete and simple way?

These are questions that I will be walking for the coming week, as I will delve into and practice making the SELF-EXPANSION part of my daily life. Thus far I have seen that living self-expansion in a moment can be about making a decision to walk a different path than what I have done before. This point opened up to me as I was talking to my partner. I could sense that our discussion was moving towards subjects that we usually disagree on, and that a part of me was already preparing and bracing for a coming conflict. In that moment, I decided to change my approach. I decided to not participate in the discussion from a starting point of conflict, but instead look at how I could expand myself as well as my partner through the way I was communicating and sharing myself. I could see that there were many points of potential expansion hidden behind the veil of emotion that a conflict situation usually brings about. Hence I pushed myself to open up and communicate about those points of expansion which I could and it changed how I experienced myself – and instead of having a conflict that would harm both me and my partner – I was able to expand.

Hence, what I am able to see thus far about the word SELF-EXPANSION is that it is ALWAYS here, and the situations/circumstances/parts of our lives that contain most of these self-expansion opportunities are those where we have accepted some form of emotional or feeling possession to take control. In those moments, when we notice that an emotion or feeling is on the rise, a supportive correction is to stop up and instead ask: ‘How am I able to EXPAND in this moment?’ – and then actively look for ways in which to change the direction of the moment, from walking the normal, trite sequence of events, that we know all to well where they will lead us – to instead deciding upon a new path for ourselves.

I find that self-expansion is similar to what Neo faced in first movie in The Matrix trilogy, where Neo initially wanted to bail, and Trinity said the following to him: ‘Because you have been down there, Neo. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends. And I know that’s not where you want to be.’ The same is true with the decision we make in the moment to expand ourselves, because we do have a choice, to either go down the same path that we have done before, and we know where it ends, and that we are never satisfied with the results it brings, OR – to make a decision to create something NEW – to deliberately MOVE ourselves into SELF-EXPANSION.

In the dictionary – Expand is defined as:

Become or make larger or more extensive

If we then add SELF before expansion – this adds up to SELF in a moment becoming larger or more extensive – and obviously it is not about body mass. It is about enlarging and expanding our own stand – allowing ourselves to become MORE than what we have been – to expand and guide and move ourselves to be able to live in a way that is BEST.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 360: Certainty Must Come From Within

Purpose and clarity as to what I am going to do, who I am going to be, what direction that I will take on and live, what future I will create, that is a desire that has arisen within me frequently over the last years. In-fact, it has been a recurring point since my teenage years – the urge and desire to have a clearly defined path for myself.

I am not sure exactly when it began, however I have since long had a tendency to want one point that I can aim to accomplish – one interest – one hobby – one part of my life – that I want to bring to its full potential and master so completely that I know it by heart. I used to be comfortable doing things for no particular reason but that I enjoyed doing it, though slowly that  changed. For example, when I started playing computer games, it was because I enjoyed it a lot. In-fact I found it amazingly fun, and I would play game after game. Then, something changed. I began to deliberately focus on becoming ‘good’ at a particular games, and ‘better than’ others. Competition became part of my gaming experience, and now it was not anymore a question of me enjoying myself, it was now about taking it to the next level, so that I could win. I did this with many games – I continued to play them even though I did not necessarily like them, because I was good at them, and I wanted to win.

The same happened with other interests, usually they began as unconditional and innocent projects that I would take on and enjoy with all of my heart – then – they would change and become a way to achieve victory.

As I have progressed through life, this tendency of becoming obsessed with one project, one movement, one drive, has morphed and changed and spilled over into purpose, and have thus become a way of achieving certainty. This metamorphosis has definitely been fueled by the world system, where there are continuously stories promoted about people that seemingly only have one point of purpose in their life, that they follow religiously, and are through that able to achieve success. Making sure that we have a fixed route, we know where we are going, we know what we will do, for me, that has become a way of creating stability and certainty, believing that I need to know my place in my external reality to be stable, and to know myself.

Obviously, this idea of life and purpose is limited. It is limited because in placing our focus and attention on the external reality, we miss that it is not our external reality that determines who we are, it is us that determines our external reality – it is us that decide who we are – and this WHO WE ARE is in turn reflected by our external reality. That principle is the key to any form of creation – it is the key to understanding why our creations sometimes falter, why they other times work out perfectly, and why our life looks the way it looks.

Thus – I see, realize and understand, that my focus, instead of being placed at developing my external reality, first and foremost must be placed at developing/creating/refining my inner reality – and from that will naturally flow a direction as I stand stable within myself and move in breath. Life cannot be predicted beforehand, it must be lived and directed in the moment. Life can only become a certainty, when we stand with certainty within ourselves – and hence there is no point to look for a purpose or clarity out there – unless we have established that for ourselves. It all begins with self, every time.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 343: Taking Charge of Work

It is not necessarily fun or enjoyable to work. In a very real sense, we are slaves to money, and we must work if we wish to survive. From that perspective, work is simply something we must do in order to get to and have time for the good things in life. Usually, the good things would be hobbies, family, friends, partying, traveling, and similar things. However, if we look at the time spent in the various compartments/dimensions of our lives, work is definitely one of the things we do the most. The majority of people spend their entire lives working, and have only a small amount of time left each day to spend on themselves. And when this is the case, it does not make sense to look and relate to work as something we have to get by and move past with as little involvement as possible – because – if we do – we will MISS OUT.

Work, even though we have to do it, it can become a rewarding, challenging and fascinating experience. What I have seen since opening this point up is that when we react to, and define work as only that ‘thing we just have to get through’ – we miss the countless of dimensions that exists within work where we are able to improve and expand. And it does not necessarily have to be about the work, meaning the physical action or actions we are involved within that defines our work. Instead, the the point of expansion can be found in unpredictable places and towards things that we would normally not pay any attention to.

For example, for me, what initially opened up as a challenge, and point within which I could expand, was living the word thorough. And this is because, in my line of work, being thorough is very important – and if one point is missed – this can have big repercussions. When I had mastered thoroughness, what opened up for me was balance, from the perspective that in order for me to be the best me, I had to develop and maintain a balance between leisure time, and time spent working. Recently, what has come up has been the word structure, which I am practicing through making daily to-do lists, following and developing effective routines, and before I begin with something, to slow down, and look at how I can approach the task in the best manner possible.

Though, what I mentioned above, that is only the bigger processes that I have walked. I have also worked with experiences in relation to colleagues, the pressures related to work, expectations that I have placed on myself, desires, inferiority, and more. What I want to say is that, if we are open to changing and developing ourselves to reach and stand as our utmost potential, work is a supreme location to be at – it is where we want to be – because we will face life straight head on – and it is in that face-to-face contact – that we have the opportunity to live – design – and create ourselves.

Instead of reacting to work, we should actively ask ourselves, what is it that I can do expand myself when I am working? Where can I push myself? Where can I develop myself? What can I learn from my colleagues? Where are my weaknesses and how can I turn them into strengths, and how am I able to strengthen my strengths even further?

Seen this way, working becomes something more, it becomes a place of creation, and not merely that place where you go to earn money, to afterwards go home, and only then do what you enjoy to do. Really, we should not have any separation in our lives, where we see one part of our existence as a prison where we cannot do anything but wait till we are released, and another part as our personal heaven where we want to spend every single minute. Regardless of where we are at, we have an opportunity to expand, create, move, and go beyond our limitations. And that must always be a part of our awareness. Hence it should not be our environment that creates us, we should do that, with our decisions, and the words we live.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 323: Redefining the word possession

In this blog I am going to work with redefining the word possession. I have decided to work with this word because since I moved to a farm, and within that started to take care of all the various houses, machines, stables, and tools that are here, I been feeling locked/trapped by all of these responsibilities. I have experienced myself as if my possessions possess me – and that my life is solely about making sure that all of these things around me work properly and are at their utmost potential. Hence, I have seen a need to clarify my relationship to things, and to make sure that I am not possessed by what is in my world, but that I possess/own/use what is in my world. To support myself in this process or redefining possession I have listened to the Eqafe interview ‘Possessed or Possessor? – Relationship Success Support’.

How I have l lived the word possession thus far

I have lived the word possession mostly with relation emotional/feeling experiences, as in being possessed by them, however, with regards to things and material possessions, this I have not experienced as a big or problematic. Usually I have not placed sentimental value on my home, or things that I own, and it has been easy for me, to without a feeling of loss, move to a new place. However, some things have been close to my heart, for example guitars I have purchased, technical equipment, and other similar stuff that I have saved up to, and then bought after a long period of desire. Those things I have felt responsible for and connected to in a different way. And when such things have gone missing, or been damaged, it has caused me to become upset and emotional.

In terms of the word possession, I have had a negative emotional connotation to this word, and seen it as a weakness of character. Apparently, to possess, or become possessed is bad – however as I look at it now I do see that possession does not have to be defined as either good or bad – and it can instead be seen for what it is – owning/controlling/having access to a particular gods.

Dictionary definition

1 [mass noun] the state of having, owning, or controlling something.
– Law visible power or control over something, as distinct from lawful ownership; holding or occupancy as distinct from ownership.
– informal the state of possessing an illegal drug: they’re charged with possession.
– (in soccer, rugby, and other ball games) temporary control of the ball by a player or team.
2 (usu. possessions) something that is owned or possessed.
• a territory or country controlled or governed by another: France’s former colonial possessions.
3 [ mass noun ] the state of being controlled by a demon or spirit: they said prayers to protect the people inside the hall from demonic possession.
– the state of being completely dominated by an idea or emotion: fear took possession of my soul.

Etymology

mid-14c., “act or fact of possessing, a taking possession, occupation,” also “thing possessed, that which is possessed,” from Old French possession “fact of having and holding; what is possessed;” also “demonic possession,” and directly from Latin possessionem (nominative possessio), noun of action from past participle stem of possidere “to possess” (see possess). Legal property sense is earliest; demonic sense first recorded 1580s. Phrase possession is nine (or eleven) points of the law is out of a supposed 10 (or 12). With eleven from 1640s; with nine from 1690s

Sounding of the word

Post-it-session
Position
Poor-session
Posse-easePus-session
Post-station

Creative writing

Possession is a form of position. The word indicates my position in relation to something else. For example, if I possess a car, then I have a certain position in relation to that car – a position of ownership – which means that I exact a form of control over that object. However, in another sense, it is not possible for me to own anything, because all things will stay behind as I die. Further, even though I might loose everything I have, the things I have owned still exists within me, as the stories, experiences, realizations and processes that I have walked. Everything exists equally within me as without. Hence, possession takes place HERE in my immediate environment, with the things I can touch and see. Other things, that are not in my immediate environment, they are not things I possess, as I do not exact control over them.

The word possession thus, defined practically, would simply entail having a thing in my immediate presence that I exact some form of control over and can manipulate as I please; it clarifies my position in relation to something else in a moment, wherein my position is that of controlling the object.

Redefinition

Controlling an object that is in my immediate presence

Day 264: Fear of Missing the Train

When I have now become a regular commuter, I have come to notice a fear of missing the train. Now this fear is interesting to observe, because it is a cool example of the irrational nature of fears. Even though I am mostly 10 to 15 minutes early, I will still have a urgency, and fear that I must get on the train as fast as possible, because apparently it will potentially leave before I have boarded. I have had this fear as far back as I can remember, and it is not only with trains, I have fears of being late to meetings, and other type of appointments as well – and because of that I am usually earlier than everyone else.

Looking more deeply into this fear, I see that the fear of being too late hides a fear of the unpredictable, because what does it represent to miss an appointed time? Usually what follows is something unpredictable, or maybe a conflict, at least, it is not something that I am able to foresee. Looking even deeper, this fear of the unpredictable also reveals still another layer: Lack of self-trust. Because why would it be that I fear the unpredictable? Due to me believing that I am not able to handle that situation, believing that I need to be prepared and already have all the information in order to effectively direct my life.

This latest point that I mentioned is also fascinating to look into, because this is a problem that I have had with regards to bigger decisions in my life. I have been fearful, and indecisive when it comes to making decision, simply because I am not sure on how it is going to play out, what is going to happen – thus – facing the unknown/the unpredictable/that which I am not able to prepare for.

My fear of missing train as such really links back to a fear of the unpredictable/fear of the unknown. This goes to show how our day-to-day lives, and our small fears of everyday things can show us something a lot more meaningful about ourselves. The solution that I see to this point is to develop a self-trust in myself even in the face of the unknown – and to when this fear of the unknown/unpredictable comes up within me – to then say to myself that no – I will not accept and allow myself to fear the unknown – I will trust myself to walk into the unknown and direct myself within it effectively – or at least allow myself to make the mistakes, learn from them, and become effective in directing and moving myself in the unknown.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that which I am not able to predict, or control, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to direct myself in that which is unknown, and unchartered to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not develop self-trust in directing myself in that which us unknown, and unchartered territory for me – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize fear as a coping mechanism for me to not have to face the unknown and that which I am not able to control, direct, or foresee

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the only way I can become better at directing myself in the unpredictable and unknown – is through trusting myself to walk into it – and when I am in it – push myself to be stable here – and look for solutions – establish a direction for myself that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear missing my train, and become stressed, and anxious as I am going to my train, because I fear that I might miss it, and fear what might come out of that, and that I cannot control and exactly know the consequences of me missing my train, and how I am going to deal with this, if it happens in my life – hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into, and exist within and as a state of fear, and anxiety, and worry, where I believe that I will be better off, by hiding in these experiences, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the only way to really grow is to put myself into the deep end of the pool – and learn to swim

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare myself to be more comfortable with taking the train, and with not being so early to the train, realizing that I can give myself some moments, and that there is still urgency for me to go to the train, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actively stop these thoughts of fear of missing my train

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when this fear of missing my train comes up, to see that what I really fear is loosing control, and not having full direction on my life and where it is that I am going – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up control, and fear ending up in a situation and position where I can’t predict what will happen next – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent upon predictability for me to be able to trust myself – and see what my next step will be – and where it is that I am going next

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable of handling the unknown, and the unpredictable, and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself, and hold myself back in this distrust, and try to cope with this distrust through fear, and worry – where I believe that if I fear and worry – I will protect myself from consequential outflows and more effectively be able to make decisions in my life that are right and will lead me to the best outflow possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on fear and worry to apparently protect me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that fear and worry only makes me less capable of analyzing, and guiding myself through a moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I do not need to know exactly what is going to happen in the future for me to be able to see what the best direction for me is, and how to best deal with the situation that I am in – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice remaining stable and grounded here when I am faced with a moment where I don’t have control and overview – and where I am not sure what is going to happen and where my decisions will lead me

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into fear, and worry, because I am faced with a moment where I don’t have control, and the future is unpredictable, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that even though I might not specifically now where to go from here, and what is going to happen, this doesn’t have to destabilize and make me less effective, because I decide who I am – and I decide how to deal with moments that come my way – and hence I commit myself to stabilize myself using my breath – and practice remaining grounded and walking into my future even though I am not sure on what is going to happen

When and as I see myself distrusting myself, and using fear, and worry to apparently prepare myself, and make myself alert to deal with a unpredictable future, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I don’t need, nor do I require fear and worry to be effective in my life – and to stabilize myself to make effective decisions when I am not clear on the direction in my life – and hence I commit myself to stabilize myself – and move myself from moment to moment – to look for a solution and a direction in every moment – and trust myself that I will find a solution if I continue to push and do not accept and allow myself to give up

Day 262: Finding a Solution

a puzzle piece made of grassWhen I turn on the television and look at the conventional newscasts that are aired every night, most often what will be shared is problems. There are problems with schools, problems with politicians, problems with money, problems with crime, problems with jobs, problems with immigrants. Seemingly millions of problems, yet, what is very, very rare is the sharing of a solution. Why is that?

To answer this question, let us take a look at our own lives, and how we approach difficulties, issues, conflicts, and other tough points that arise in our day-to-day living. Because where is our focus? We look at the problem – and over, and over again we regurgitate in our minds how big our problems are. And what we many times miss is to actively look for the SOLUTIONS. So, in this blog I am going to share a practical living application that has assisted and supported me to be more immediate, and direct when it comes to handling problems that open up in my world – and walk them into a SOLUTION.

I will share a short story from my own life that will serve as an example of this practical application: I am at the moment building an expansion to my mother’s farmhouse. The plan is that my partner and I are going to live here, and share the spacious farm environment together with my mother. It is really a fun process to be part off. Though, when it comes to building, and acquiring a house like this, it requires a lot of capital, and because of this my partner and I have had to take on a loan. And today is I was looking at the building site, and the development of the expansion, a anxiety come up from within, and it went like this: “Oh, we are taking on so much debt to be able to do this! Shit! I could have decided to live more cheaply! Man, now I will be stuck with this for a long time!”

When that thought, and energy came up within me, initially I went into it. Then I applied self-forgiveness, and instead of continuing to exist in a state of worry/anxiety I began to look at a SOLUTION. Hence, I asked myself, what is the solution to this problem I am facing? And I realized that, instead of worrying about what this project costs, I can appreciate the fact that I do have the opportunity to do something like this in my life, and really involve myself in the construction of my future abode. And instead of looking at the debt as a point of pressure, see that me taking on this debt does allow me to walk, and experience a cool process of creation together with my partner. Thus I am in an optimum position to actually create, and be part of building the future of my life from the ground up, because an important part of my future will be my house, where I am going to live.

When I realized this, I could see that it was up to me to define WHO I AM in relation to this project that I have committed myself to walk. And I understood that I must make the decision, and unless I do that, my circumstances will do it for me. But do I want to walk through my life and feel pressured just because I have debt? No – I want to be able to live, and appreciate the environment and the life I am creating for myself. Hence the solution to my problem is to live this appreciation, this enjoyment, and push myself to explore and participate in this adventure that is unfolding day by day.

This is thus an example of the practical application of how we are able find SOLUTIONS to the inner conflicts we face. I have practiced the point of immediately as a reaction comes up within me, apply a self-forgiveness statement, and then look for, and live a solution. It is not as easy as it sounds, but developing such a skill is priceless – and really – it is what we as humanity needs to create. We are too much in love with our problems and it is not good for us – thus as a rule of thumb – I suggest that we place the focus in our minds 90 % on solutions, and only 10 % on finding and gauging problems.

Day 223: Quantifying Process

In my process up to this point I have encountered some tools/technologies that are truly amazing and using them have assisted and supported me to come back from mind-possessions faster than what I could have imagined was possible. It is unfortunate that the general public does not know about these tools because using them is for a lack of better word life changing.

The first tool/technology I want to bring up is self-forgiveness spoken out loud –for those that are not aware of self-forgiveness you are able to research the basics HERE. I will not venture into the basics in this blog but rather open up the benefits I have discovered in doing self-forgiveness out loud, with the emphasis on the ‘out loud’ part. Because when we voice our self-forgiveness there are some fascinating physical effects that takes place – obviously we require ourselves to be self-honest in our self-forgiveness else it is not going to have the desired effect – though this is another point.

So, let me take an example from my own life in how I have used self-forgiveness – speaking it out loud – to drastically change my experience of myself within a pattern: Some months ago I started to become aware of a stress pattern that I went into when I directed myself to do my studies or other money related responsibilities within the system. The stress experience felt deeply ingrained, and most of the times I would not even be able to see or detect the stress energy as it emerged within me – instead my heart started to beat faster and my body began to produce more saliva, there was an immediate physical possession. Now this was obviously because the stress energy had already formed a personality that activated on a physical level in the same instant as I faced the stimulus of work, responsibilities and commitments with regards to money.

Due to the nature of the stress reaction that I was facing, with regards to the immediate possession it produced, it felt almost impossible to take directive principle of the experience. Because as I said, I would only become aware of the fact that I was stressed out, when it had already developed into a physical possession. And physical possessions tend to be very difficult to step out of and effectively change – the rule is that to effectively change a pattern, the correction must be inserted in a preceding timeline – before the pattern has reached the point of physical possession. Though, with stress, because it followed no clear timeline that accumulated into a possession, but instead went drove me into a possession instantly – I experienced it as a big challenge to get my directive principle into the equation.

Thus, here is where the technology of self-forgiveness out loud really assisted and supported me to release myself from my bondage to the stress-personality – because in order to strengthen my stand and solidify my foundation to be able to on a physical level direct the Stress personality, I utilized specific tonalities within my self-forgiveness – to through the tonalities and words assist and support myself to step into the living application of the correction. With stress, the voice tonality and living word that I had to practice in order to direct the personality was decisiveness, assertiveness and authority.

Through utilizing this tonality I managed to change and direct my stress personality – because through practicing sounding myself into the correction, I programmed myself on a physical level to have the necessary foundation, clarity, and direction – to immediately as the stress came up within me – direct myself with the necessary tenacity and willpower to stop the energy and insert my living correction. Thus this is the power of applying self-forgiveness out loud – and the potential of using SOUND in order to change ourselves – because it’s not just words – it’s not just sounds – it’s in-fact a living statement that we’re making that serve to program – or rather DIRECT – ourselves on a physical level.

It’s actually obvious when you consider it, the words we speak to ourselves are the roadmaps of our lives, it is through these we plan and create who we are – and the sounds we use is the expressions with which we are living our charts – and when we use our sound to support ourselves, to strengthen ourselves, to build ourselves, and in the sounds practice living the new vision we have set for ourselves – we make it a lot easier for ourselves to direct, and correct ourselves when we are faced with the real thing.

Really, with these tools there is nothing that can’t be changed, due to the simple reason that words and sounds are the building blocks of our character and within that our lives – and when we begin directing these dimensions and aspects of ourselves we are re-programming ourselves on a fundamental level – and in this we design and define ourselves in a way that will provide lasting and sustainable results.

Day 161: The Principle of What is Best for All

Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible out come for all

In relation to some decisions that I’ve had to make recently, I’ve seen how this principle above, hasn’t been implemented fully in my life yet, which results in me often being very ambivalent, and uncertain about decisions, future play-outs, how I am going to live, and what I am going to do – simply because: There are so many directions, ways and paths, and no unifying principle that I’ve allowed myself to use to guide myself in the decisions.

Thus, I realize that I can practice this principle, particularly in relation to career decisions, because this is something that I’ve looked at through a glass colored with my own preferences, fears, desires, and expectations, instead of looking at what would be best for all. When I look at my future, what I can do, where I can place myself, and how I can live my life to its fullest potential, its actually quite easy to see where I can make the most of myself and my life – when I remove the personal the decision becomes much more easy to make.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make decisions through looking at what would be best for all, and as such I see, realize and understand that decision making becomes complicated when I involve the mind, as my desires, fears, preferences, etc. and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make myself clear within, breathe, and look at all the information involved within and as a decision, and look at it not from a point of personality, but rather look at it from a starting point and perspective of what would be best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not look at my future, my career, my life, from a starting point of what is best for all, and I see, realize and understand how much more simple it becomes to make a decision, and to look at where and how I can place myself in my world, when I do it objectively, and when I do it without my personal preferences coming into play, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not when I look at my future, and decisions, and points to be walked, to do so HERE, without my personal preferences, to instead look at what would be best for everyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at myself, my skills, my potential, and my abilities, not from a starting point of “what can I get out of it” – but rather look at what this world, this physical reality, and humanity can get out of me, and how I can place myself in the most supportive and effective position that would be meaningful, and have purpose, and that would support and nurture others in their process of creating for themselves a life in this world that is dignified

Self-commitments

I commit myself to, when and as I am making decisions, looking at my future, to be objective, and look at how I can place myself in such a way that would be best for everyone involved, that would lead to the biggest maximal impact, and affect the most change, and as such I commit myself to be objective, and look at myself and this world from a starting point of being objective, and looking at what is best for all, and releasing my personal preferences, desires, wants and needs

Day 66: From Personal To Physical Living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally, and to believe that everything that occurs in my world is a personal attack against me, and that accordingly my world is against me, and that what I must do to survive in this world is to spend every minute of my time to fight against this world, believing that if I was to stop fighting, I would become overrun, and completely destroyed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that other human beings are in essence out to get me, and that thus the common sense is to make sure that I have my defense system set up at all times, wherein I utilize such points as fear, anxiety, and emotions, to guide myself in my world, and to avoid situations that I perceive to be threatening, and to avoid, and push away people that I perceive to be threatening, and that I perceive can harm my survival in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lock myself into a state of taking things personally, wherein I will blame my world as having harmed me, and having insulted, and personally diminished me, and that I am thus allowed to blame, I am allowed to go into a state of victimization because apparently what others do to me, and how I feel about it, it’s others responsibility and thus I am simply allowed to relax back into a state of blame, and a state of shoving my experiences unto others, thinking that it’s others fault and not my own

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how ineffective I become in my direction, and movement in reality when I take things personally, and how when I take things personally, everything becomes about me, it becomes about my feelings, my thoughts, my ideas, my perceptions, and that I within this completely forget the point of realizing that I am a equal participant in this world, and that nothing in this world just happens by itself, and that nothing in this world is a coincidence, and that only within standing in this point of responsibility am I in-fact able to have a impact in this world, and I am able to change, and direct points that come up – because I don’t take it personally, I stand stable here, and I direct the point within and as objectivity as what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive, and believe that I gain something by taking things personally, and use taking things personally as a sort of introverted punishment, wherein I try to make others feel guilty, and feel bad about themselves, because apparently they harmed me greatly, and thus I am now allowed to look at others as the bad guys, and have others feel responsible for how I experience myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this is limiting me, and how there is really no need to take anything personal – I mean to be a personality, a point in this world subjected to individuality as “my world” – that is simply limitation because it implies I must fight for my survival; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not align myself with life principle here – standing as what is best for all – not as a individual but as all as one as equal here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that for me to be effective, and have a impact in this world, I must let go of the point of taking things personally in everyway possible, because one of the points I am going to face extensively in this world in walking out of limitation, is rejection, is anger, is frustration, and it’s the mind demons of others; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to not take things personally, but to realize that what another experience is not about me – and even if it’s about me – the point of making the information emotional is simply ridiculous and serves no purpose; because the most effective way to change is simply to SEE and then DIRECT here in oneness and equality in one breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that it’s my decision to take things personally, and that taking things personally is not a creation of nature, it’s not a natural point that must exist within me so to speak, I mean it’s a point that I’ve created through looking at how my parents look at, and perceive themselves in relation to the world, wherein I’ve believed that taking it personally is a normal, and acceptable human trait, and that I should hold unto this point, and continue living the way my parents have lived; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is not a effective starting point from which to live, and that I require to change this point within myself – and accordingly not live from within and as a starting point of wanting to be my parents, but realizing that my parents information has been flawed and that I must re-design myself according to common sense as what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that taking things personally is a program, a mind creation that exists as thoughts, experiences, emotions and feelings – and that in the physical as living here, there is no concept such as taking things personally, as there is simply HERE – and when a point arise HERE the point is simply directed – and there is no experience, there is no thought, there is no emotions, there is no feeling – and that is the difference between direct physical living, and mind living; the mind creates lot’s of unnecessary shit and the physical DIRECTS immediately here – equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how I am not benefiting anything in holding unto taking things personally, and that all I am doing is that I am preventing myself from standing as a example in my reality, wherein I direct myself to live, and make decisions that are best for all, and wherein I am not held back, or hindered, or stupefied be and through the mind as emotions, thoughts, and feelings; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize the superiority of the human physical body – and see, realize, and understand that the physical body directs points HERE and that there is no bullshit within it – it’s simply directing the point here and then getting it done with – clearing the point – clearing the ineffectiveness – and then moving unto the next point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend, and hold unto the point of taking things personally, believing that it’s some type of protection towards others, and that I am within holding unto things personally apparently making sure that I can’t be fucked with, because I make sure that I am sensitive, and that I am really alert as to when someone apparently “attack me” – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the limitation in this starting point, and to realize that I am not protecting myself towards anything – I mean I am only secluding myself in my mind trying to avoid facing myself through blaming others, and justifying this through thinking that it’s necessary while it’s in-fact not at all necessary and that taking it personally only serves to make me more ineffective in my daily application and living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become tense, and uncomfortable, and nervous when and as I perceive that someone is angry at me, and go into a state of defense, and protection, wherein I take the perceived anger of another personally, and I go into a state of lock-down – wherein I blame the other person for my lock-down, and for my experience of discomfort and feeling tense; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that I require, and need to hold unto this state of tenseness, and that I have not choice, I have no freedom to make a decision that I should experience myself otherwise; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am able to change my experience myself through in the moment breathing out the tenseness, and the discomfort – and to bring myself back here – to equalize myself here as breath as the physical – and to state who and what I am – to state how I live; and to practice living stability through breathing as stability here within and as each and every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I experience discomfort within me, or when and as I experience myself as being tense, to have a reoccurring pattern within me of blame, wherein I immediately state that: “the reason must be someone else!” – “someone else is doing this to me!” – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the obvious common sense, that I am alone in my mind, that I am alone in my physical body, and thus what I experience within and as me is always a creation of and as the mind as the points in me that I’ve not directed one and equal here; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop blaming others, and to take full responsibility for myself, and too realize that what goes on within me is my responsibility, is my point to direct and walk

When and as I see that I take something personally, and I go into a state of discomfort, and tenseness, and I blame others, as being the reason for my experience, and I hold unto my experience as a way of protecting myself; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that: I am responsible for what occurs within me, and that nobody but me is able to direct this point to a completeness, and that I can blame, and point fingers all my life, but change will only occur when I decide to live self-responsibility; as such I commit myself to stop blaming, to stop pointing fingers, and to stop looking at others as being the fault, the mistake, and the point of wrong; and I bring myself back here and realize that it’s all about me – and as such I am the solution – and I must correct myself

When and as I see that I am taking things personally and that I look at things occurring in my world as being a personal attack against me, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize, and understand that nothing is personal, because I mean, everything is here as the physical, thus there is really no personal point, it’s instead a physical point, and in the physical all points are simply directed HERE with no experience, with no point of personal interpretation; as such I commit myself to face, and direct points HERE as breath with no experience and no point of personal interpretation – but to face what is here as breath within oneness and equality as here

Enhanced by Zemanta

Day 40: Continuing With Nervousness

Today I listened to the interview “Finalising Nervousness Support” – and the point that hit home with me was the nervousness is most-often caused by lack of preparation.

stressThis made me consider a few points in relation to my studies – because as I’ve shared in this blog I’ve experienced much nervousness in relation to walking my exams, and writing the final test – and this nervousness did occur this time around as well. So – when I began to considered the point that nervousness is very much related to one’s level of preparation – I realized that one dimension of my nervousness in relation to my exams might have to do with a problem with my vocabulary – and that the reason I do experience nervousness in relation to my exams is because it’s me actually showing myself that I’ve not integrated the vocabulary of the course effectively, with clarity, and specificity.

As I looked on this point – I utilized some memories from the past of when I’ve written my exam before, because by now I’ve written the term-exam 5 times already – and I compared my various study techniques, and then also looked at my experience of nervousness in relation to then at a later stage writing the exam. What I could see was that when I’d utilized the study technique of writing the information down – that was the exam that I’d experienced myself the least nervous, and also the exam on which I’d received the best results – fascinating!

This “finding” so to speak also correlates with what I’ve recently learned about “the natural learning ability” of the human being – and how we as human beings integrate information the most effectively. Writing information down is one of these physical practical points that give’s the physical body a opportunity to work with the information for real – and which also establish a more effective output – because in only reading information what one do is that one establish an ineffective input. So – I will cross-reference these points during my next term, and accordingly spend much more time writing information than I’ve done before – to see what the effect of this will be, and whether this will allow me to integrate the information more effectively.

Okay – that was what I had to share about my findings in relation to the natural learning ability, vocabulary effectiveness, and it’s influence on my experience of nervousness – though this is not the only dimension that affects my experience of nervousness. There are three words that I see play a role in my nervousness-experience – these are “unknown”, “unexpected”, “unplanned” – and these points are also much related to the experience of stress – which there is a cool interview about that you can hear here. So – in essence I will dedicate my self-forgiveness in this blog towards investigating my relationship towards these three words, and also apply commitment statements – as to how to correct my relationship with these words so that I can study in the stability, and silence of breath – and do my exams in the stability and silence of breath – with no movement within me what-so-ever.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a fear of the unknown, a fear of that which I can’t control, and can’t foresee – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into nervousness, and stress when and as I don’t have a complete control over my reality – and I do not know exactly what is going to happen in the next moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if I do not have complete control, complete mastery over my physical reality – and that I can foresee everything that will happen in my world – that I am vulnerable to destruction, and annihilation – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my fear of the unknown, my fear of the unexpected, and my fear of the unplanned – through thinking that I am protecting myself by holding unto this fear – and that this fear helps me to be effective in living – while really – the opposite is true – because what I fear I create – which is so because in living as fear – I am not seeing, and utilizing common sense in my direct movement here – and thus the likelihood of me creating compromising situations, and moments for myself is much greater

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a fear, and anxiety towards letting go of control – and trusting myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate control to self-trust – not realizing the self-trust is not dependent upon control – because self-trust stands regardless of external stimuli movements – as self-trust is a point that is developed, and created by self – and as such not dependent upon a particular external point to move, or exist in a particular way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear, anxiety, and nervousness towards not being able to foresee whether my life will be “happy” or filled with struggles, and strife’s – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify holding unto control, and stress – and nervousness – in thinking, and believing that this increases my likelihood of experiencing a “happy” life – not seeing the simple common sense – that living within anxiety, stress, and nervous I can’t ever be in anyway “happy” – as I will constantly exist in a worry, and state of fear – that something is going to occur and happen that I do not have any form of control over

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being powerless, and unable to impose change on my life, and reality – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify holding unto stress, and nervousness – thinking that when I hold unto these experiences I will at least be able to protect myself from having a situation manifest wherein I am powerless, or unable to change my reality – not realizing that stress, and nervousness are mental experiences and not a physical practical and useable skill that assists me in moving myself effectively in my life – and thus completely irrational experiences that do not help to assure my physical well-being in this world, and reality what-so-ever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason I fear loosing power, and loosing control – is because I’ve not allowed myself to create these words as living words of and as myself – but that I’ve allowed myself to define these words as my ability to manipulate, and control my exterior reality – not realizing that this is not power, and this is not control – it’s merely a form of physical movement bound by the laws of the physical reality – but not a actual power, and a actual control – because all the time – regardless of how “powerful” I might consider myself to be – I will always be subject to the laws of the physical world and reality – and as such I understand that real control, and real power – can only be real and actual when I stand as those points within and as me as a living expression of me – as a living statement of who I am in each and every breath – wherein I decide what and who I am – and what principle I stand and live by

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I stand certain in who I am – certain in what I am – certain in why I am – there can’t be any nervousness, or stress – because these points are in essence based upon fear of death – as the fear of loosing all form of control over this external reality – and this fear can’t exist when I stand within me in such a stability, and depth of silence – that I understand that who I am can’t be moved, touched, or defined by death – as I stand as the power within me that in all-ways decide who I am – and within this that I create who I am – thus creating life from nothing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the experiences of stress, and nervousness – allowing myself to go into and as a state of preparation – as trying to avoid a disastrous event from taking place – and through these experiences attempting and trying to control my reality; and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand the simplicity of physically controlling my exterior reality as a point of self-movement – and even though I am not able to have full control – I am able to have somewhat effective control and create this control without any form of experience such as stress, or nervous – because physically directing, and moving my reality is not about mental experiences – it’s about my effectiveness of communication – my effectiveness of physical movement – my effectiveness in social interaction with others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how stress, and nervousness literally are illusions – because – they do not produce anything of benefit – they do not assist me in stabilizing my life, and my daily living – they do not assist me in actually walking through my exams – they do not assist me in actually making sure that I have money, and financial stability – they do not in-fact do anything but exist within me as a experience – that in essence only serve to disturb me, and take my focus away from living, and moving myself in my day-to-day life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the points of unexpectedness, unplanned events, and the unknown – realizing, and understand that I will never be able to have complete control over this reality – as such it’s completely unnecessary to create experiences of stress, and nervousness because I do not have that control – I mean – it’s impossible to have such a control so why continue to fight reality? As such I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to align myself with the actual functioning of this physical world and reality – and stop fighting it – stop resisting it – and stop trying to change it to match my inner belief, and hope of what I’d like this reality to be like

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I go into and as a state of stress, and nervousness – because I see that I am approaching uncharted territory – and I can’t be completely sure on the outcome of what I am taking on and walking; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – there is no reason to fear uncharted territory – I mean sure – there might come an event that is painful, uncomfortable, or even an event that leads to my death – but – that is the nature of this reality – and it’s completely stupid to fear the nature of this reality as what is here – because it doesn’t help, it doesn’t assist, and it doesn’t change this reality; as such I commit myself to embrace the functioning and movement of this reality – and work with what is here – and practically train, and practice moving myself in such a way in this reality – that I am able to avoid and direct potentially harmful, or uncomfortable experiences, and events – as such – stopping myself from relying upon fear, nervousness, and stress – and instead relying upon common sense deduction

When and as I see that I go into a state of nervousness, because I don’t know how to be, or how to move, or how to direct myself in a given situation – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – me experiencing nervousness does not assist, and support me to walk, and direct the situation – I mean – it would be far more effective for me to stop for a while – observe the situation – and develop solutions – solutions are far more effective in having actual physical positive results than nervousness; as such I commit myself to instead of going into nervousness when I face the unknown – to make the unknown known – and develop solution for me to direct, and effectively move myself within that which is now known

When and as I see that I go into stress – as fearing that I will run unto an unplanned, and unexpected event – and that I will not be able to deal with this event – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – stress merely serves to make me blind to what is here – not see what is here – and not be able to effectively process what is here – stress is like a energetic blindfold that I take on thinking that it will help me to navigate my reality – obviously that isn’t so; as such I commit myself to face the unexpected, to face the unplanned – with a straight back – and effective breathing – realizing that the only way to effectively live in this life is to live physically – breath by breath – walking actual practical solution instead of going into my mind as energetic experiences of positive, or negative

When and as I see that I am going into and as a fear of not being in control, and not having power over my world – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that power, and control over this world is in essence an illusion – something that isn’t real – but merely real in my mind; as such I commit myself to live real power, and real control – which are points that I live AS ME – as me living the decision in every moment that I am life as all as one as equal – and that the principle which I stand by – and make my decisions by is what is best for all – and giving to another as I’d like to receive

Enhanced by Zemanta