Tag Archives: direction

Day 447: Self-Determination

Today I want to open up the word self-determination. In international law there exist a right of self-determination. It is defined in the context of the right for a group of people to decide their own direction/destiny. For example, the right for Swedish people to decide their own direction and not be bothered by other countries stepping in, and making decisions for the Swedish people.

In the context of SELF – self-determination, as I see it, is about me deciding WHO I AM. And this is not a right, it is a decision. The decision must be made in every moment, because otherwise, someone or something else will determine me. Especially in today’s world, where there a literally billions of distractions/temptations that all want a piece of our attention/life, it is important to be self-determined.

What does it mean to be self-determined? An example would be, that if I walk into a room, and in this room there are a couple of angry people that start to yell and scream at me – the principle of self-determination would be lived out through me deciding what word I am going to live and thus not accepting and allowing myself to REACT to the reactions/energies of the people in the room. Hence, it is about ACTING instead of REACTING.

And what does it mean to act instead of react? To act is a movement that comes from within self – there is clarity and understanding – acting is an expression of and as self and not merely something that is motivated and driven from within and as a energy. Hence, there is a distinct difference between acting and reacting, between self-determination and weak-mindedness. The difficult part of self-determination is pushing through those moments of reaction that will occur, because the reaction is tempting, it is the easy way, what feels right. If someone says or does something mean unto us, hell, we want to get back, because, it is the right thing to do? It is the just thing to do? However – it is clearly not the BEST thing to do. A self-determined act is thus never about making things even – it is about acting from the heart – seeing what is best – and realizing that potential practically.

It cannot be stressed enough – that self-determination is a key factor in being able to stand stable and solid in this world. Without self-determination we will be thrown around on the roller-coaster of life, with ups and downs, failures and successes, highs and lows. With self-determination, the ups and downs of life are immaterial – because regardless of what happens – I DECIDE who I am – I DETERMINE who I am. And thus, in the face of successes and failures, I am determined to remain STABLE – in the face of ups and downs – I am determined to remain clear – because I decide to live/do what is best for me.

There is no life path that is going to give me a stable/easy/predictable life – if I want stability in my life – I will have to live it and determine it for and as myself.

 


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Day 446: Finding Passion and Purpose

Passion and purpose. Things that I have had a tendency to look for out there. I am confident that I am not alone in that. It is like the words passion and purpose in themselves have a energy of exertion – towards/against something/someone else but self here.

Though, I have realized a couple of interesting points for myself as of late. I sat down to write on the words of passion and purpose and I ended up asking myself the following question. Is it even possible to SHARE/GIVE passion and purpose towards the world out there if we have not yet given ourselves these words within ourselves in our relationship towards ourselves?

I would say, NO, it is not possible. And the world as well as history is literally full of examples. People that have moved themselves arduously to create/manifest a particular outcome/goal that would empower/enrich humanity in some way – but that along the way forgot COMPLETELY about themselves. Let us look at the main character in the movie Kinsey, which is based on Alfred Kinsey, the famous sexologist who founded the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex. In the movie, Alfred Kinsey is depicted as utterly and wholly passionate with his project of mapping the sexual inclinations of the American people. Again and again, his stout determination comes through. He lives focused and purposefully.

Though, he might have been passionate and purposeful with his project to map out sex. However in the movie, he is depicted as having many character flaws and problems. One example being, that he works too much, and that he does not have time for his spouse and his children, or that he lets his work take over and change the way he relates to his family – making everything about what he is currently researching at his work. At the end of the movie, it becomes clear that he has worked too hard. His body is frail and he over exhausts himself. His purpose, his passion, becomes a drug – a way to hide from himself – and not a point of GIVING.

The movie Kinsey nicely exemplifies what I touched upon above. That real purpose and passion, it always begins from within. You cannot go out into the world and believe that you are going to make a lasting impact, unless you have effectively changed your own flaws. The same goes in relationships and agreements, you cannot attempt to support another to change, unless you have walked through and supported yourself to change that point. The within reflects the without.

I have realized that finding passion and purpose is the wrong way to look at it. Rather, the point is to CREATE passion and purpose, and begin living these words in the SMALL for and as myself – in my small world. Then, when I have established the words as a consistent part of my daily living – I can expand – and take on a slightly bigger point.

Hence, trying to find purpose would be a dead end alley. The point is rather to CREATE self in all ways – when that is done properly – purpose – or rather – a clear direction – will emerge naturally. And it is thus important to remember, that when we start to look for something to give us direction out there, it means that we have not yet given direction to our own process of self-creation.

 


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Day 441: Making Plans and Following Them

I like making plans. In-fact it makes me excited to consider the potentials of the future, what I can do with it, what goals can be realized and what directions can be taken. Though, what is more difficult for me is to stick with the plan. It is also harder for me to plan my day-to-day life – you know – the small apparently insignificant things we have to tend to. To me, this indicates one thing, and that is that planning is not yet a word/expression that I am living as a grounded and realistic approach to life. It is still more of a form of entertainment rather than a practical tool to be used in making myself and my daily living more streamlined and effective.

One example that comes to mind, that exemplifies my tendency to ‘winging it’ instead of structuring my approach, is that I do not tend to look in my almanac throughout my week. And that in itself is a tell, because guess what, I usually sit down and map out my week, in my almanac. Though when it comes to applying it throughout the week, I rely on my good memory, and improvise a lot as well. However, this causes me to forget what I have planned, miss responsibilities and ‘to-do’s’.

Though, there is yet another reason why I do not tend to look in the almanac throughout my week, and that is a underlying stress, a sense of urgency, where I do not feel as if I have the time to stop up and make any plans, or for that matter, check up upon and follow the plans that I have already made. However, I do understand on a theoretical level, and I have also seen it in practice, that when I plan and streamline my day, this helps me to be more efficient with my time, to get more done, and to move more smoothly through my day.

Thus, the points I want to work with regards to the word planning/structure is to be realistic when I make my plans, to push myself to plan, and follow my plans, with regards to my day-to-day living.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited when I make my plans, and to make them too ambitious, too lofty, where I become excited over the fact that I can plan, imagine and think things up, however, not considering the practical living of the plan – and also taking into consideration WHO I AM as a person, and what would be realistic for me to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow through on the plans that I make, because when it comes to following through, I no longer have that exciting energy within me, and now, it is all physical, and it is all about discipline, and it as all about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire my plans to live for me, to hope that when I have made a plan, that it is enough and that I do not have to do anymore, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire plans so that I can feel comfortable in knowing that I am going to go forward with my life – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that plans are only what I make of them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that plans are a direction in and as themselves, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the direction, the movement, it will always be ME – plans is only ever a tool that I am able to use in order to structure and create an overview in my life and make it easier for me to stand as the direction and stand as the movement in my life – and stand as the way forward – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use plans as a support tool and not something upon which I rely to move myself forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my plans are my guide, that my plans are what should move me forward, that my plans are what will move me through life, that I can place trust and reliance on my plans – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited and joyful when I make plans because I believe that they are actually going to be realized automatically and that I am going to achieve everything that I think about and look at – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that my plans will not do such a thing, that I will have to stand as the point of direction in my life and my life forward – no plan will do that for me

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to live the word planning through structuring my daily living in a realistic and grounded way, where I plan and streamline my day-to-day commitments and responsibilities in a supportive manner

I commit myself to follow through on what I have planned, to actively look at my calendar and my to-do list, to use it as a support and a reference point, from which I move myself

When and as I see myself going into a state of ‘winging’ it – a state of stress and anxiety, where I do not want to spend time on planning, referencing my plans, or following my plans, because I feel that it takes too much time, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that planning does take time, though it is something that will pay back, because when I plan, I create a overview, and I create a foundation for efficiency and expression – because I know where I am, where I am going and what is required to be done – and thus I commit myself to stop up, take a breath and commit time each day to planning my movement and my time


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Day 435: Changing The Small Yet Significant Points

When I look at what change, revolution, momentum and creation means to me, I see that I have given these words extensive, BIG definitions. For change to be important, it has to be BIG, unless it is a massive movement in the right direction, it means nothing – apparently. I have realized that this way of thinking has many times caused me to glance over what is HERE, taking the opportunities in my life for granted, and not effectively using the opportunities in my life to CHANGE.

The fascinating thing is that change many times is impossible in the big, that is, unless the small has been changed first. Because the big is constituted by the small. Our money system for example is constituted by many, many small/individual human beings, all with their own lives, and all contributing in some way or another to our current way of handling money. Thus, to try and change the big, which in this case would be the money system, and expect it to work, without as well having changed the small, the individual human beings relationship to money, that is not possible. And in my personal life, the same reasoning can be applied. If I want to really contribute to a life that is best on a big, global scale, then I must first walk it in the small. Can I even hope to make a difference in the big, which without a doubt will pose more of a challenge, if I have not even changed the small for myself? No – not possible.

This week I have pushed myself to become aware of the small points in my life and experience of myself that I want to change. It is things like changing how I wake up in the morning, how I walk to work, how I dress for work, how I am with my daughter when changing her diapers, how I am with myself. It is things like how I engage and participate at work, at home, and with friends and family. Do I really move myself, engage and flow as much as I could do, or is there an unexplored potential to be found?

When change is brought back to the small, it is easier to see what points there are that needs direction. If I look at only the big, out there, change becomes cumbersome, uncertain, because, what to change? Where to focus? Where to go? It is so big, where should I direct my attention? While, when I bring my attention back to the small, it is clear what must be changed – because it is right here in front of me – it is easy to see what I can do for myself that would make my life and that are part of my life a whole lot better. And then, what is missed when the focus gets placed on changing the big, is how, when I become and feel better, this will influence the people that I am in contact with in my life.

The small, the apparently insignificant, the points that are taken for granted, that is where change happens – and that is where I have a direct access to self-change. It is in the small moments where I am able to build and work towards creating the big moments, and hence, it is important to remember, that anything big, is made up out small parts.

The solution for myself is the following: When I notice that I am judging my environment/where or with whom I am with – because I feel as if it does not offer the opportunity for change that I want – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to focus on creating and building/moving change in the small and the apparently insignificant – I commit myself to be attentive to all parts in my life – to be attentive and look at the small that I want to change – to recognize these parts and to push myself to change them – and thus – accumulate a change in the big through committing to and changing in the small.


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Day 412: Potential

Today I am going to open up the word POTENTIAL.

Recently I looked at a documentary covering the campaign of the current president of France, Emmanuel Macron. It was an interesting view of the political machinery, from the inside. However, I am not going to review the content of the film, but rather my reactions towards it. The reactions that came up within me was that of stress, as well as comparison. I compared myself to Emmanuel Macron and the position he has achieved. The backchat went something like this:

‘My god, he is only 39 years old, and already president. What have I achieved with my life? I must get a move on if I am going to do something with myself.’

After a chat with my Desteni I Process buddy (she helps me a lot!) I reached the conclusion that the reaction had to do with how I had defined the word potential. The way I saw the word, it was still imbued with the various ideas marketed in the current system of what it means to be successful, what it means to achieve, what it means to become someone in this world; and those are mostly about getting money, or having influence or power. In my life, neither of those factors are particularly salient, at least not to the extent where I can compare myself to a president. Hence, in my mind, the comparison with Emmanuel Macron, fell out in such a way that I was the loser.

Thus – it is time to redefine the word potential. An interesting point to note is that I do not have difficulties in seeing the potential of others. In-fact, that is natural to me. And the potential I see within others is not limited to the polarities of the system and ideas of success – rather – I am able to see how they would be able to contribute/give/expand within their current situation and in their daily living. It is really fascinating actually. An example would for example be my neighbor, who is a farmer. Now, in his life, and profession, and because of who he is, I see the potential of him inviting young people, children, to follow him and learn what a farmer does. I can see that he would be able to give a lot of himself through such a set-up – a POTENTIAL. Though, when I look at my own life, I have experienced a lot more difficulty in trying to establish, what is my potential, and what I am able to do with myself in this lifetime to assist and support myself and others.

Let’s redefine the word POTENTIAL

Sounding the word

Potent-See-All
Potent-All
Pour-Ten-Shallow
Pool-Of-All
Pool-Of-My-All
Pour-Into-The-Shallow

Creative writing

I see that word potential is about filling and empty space. A shallow pool waiting to be filled. The pool has a certain amount of water when it is filled to its brim, its utmost. Living the word potential, is hence about recognizing the amount of water that should be in the pool, and then filling it with water – manifesting its utmost. And filling my pool with water would be the process of realizing/manifesting my potential.

In the world system potential oftentimes has a very limited definition. Mostly it is connected to either sex or money. However, there is obviously a lot more to the word potential. What I see at the moment is that most aspects of our lives holds a unfulfilled potential. For example, the way I drive my car. In certain traffic situations I might be sloppy and careless – and I see that I could do/become more in that particular context of of my life – there is a POTENTIAL for EXPANSION – a pool that is not yet filled. Hence – realizing my potential in that context would be to actually push myself to in similar traffic situations become more attentive and careful.

Thus potential is not limited to improving ourselves in our career or in our ability to acquire and hold unto a partner. Potential is everywhere – and really – our task is to learn to SEE the potential. And to be able to SEE our potential we must learn to recognize what we are dissatisfied with and want to change, learn to see and become inspired by the examples of others, so that we see that we are able to see that there is MORE, and learn to listen to ourselves and bring forth those inner visions we have, were we see we could move and expand with regards to a particular point, into the foreground of our lives, where they can become part of our daily movement and living.

Living potential is as such very much about being ACTIVE and constantly MOVING, CHALLENGING, PUSHING myself forward to see what more I am able to do, and what more I am able to become. Because really, what stands in my way most of the times is that I am not sufficiently ON THE BALL to catch and move on the potential when it opens up.

Redefinition of the word POTENTIAL

Pushing Myself To Make A Moment/Expression/Point The Best That It Can Be


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Day 411: Creating My Own Path

I recently watched a Netflix original series called ‘GLOW’, where one of the characters, a disillusioned and uncomfortably direct and simultaneously honest movie director, explains to one of his actresses, that is supposed to play the ‘bad guy’ in his movie, that there is great power in learning how to not give a fuck about being hated/disliked by others. This line struck a chord with me an hence I want to expand on it in this blog.

From what I have come understand, of both of myself and others, is that our average/normal way of going about life, is that we want to be loved by others, and act accordingly, which is achieved mostly by trying to please others. There are a few people that gets off by doing the opposite, they want to feel hated and disliked, because that makes them feel empowered. Obviously, none of these polarities are a solution, and does not assist and support with growth and mutual self-expansion. If we move around in our life’s trying to be loved by others, well, in some way or another, that will always lead us to compromise and change ourselves to fit in and try to be the way we believe others wants us to be. If we go around deliberately instigating conflicts, and trying to make others dislike others, well, then we are as well changing ourselves to have others respond to us in a particular – we will still be a slave. The base problem in both scenarios is that we define and live according to the response/stimuli that we get from others – and that is what we need to move away from.

A consequence of only acting/living according to what we believe others want, or do not want us to be/do, is that we do not get to know ourselves. Instead we are moved by fickle and ephemeral experiences, change our direction on a whim, what is popular and what is not popular, what is desirable and what is not desirable (generally speaking), we move there – without really understanding why, or having looked at whether it would be best for us or not. It is a form of herd-mentality – and obviously it is a lot easier to just go with the flow. Then we do not have to look within, consider, assess, ponder, and asks ourselves; Okay, but WHO AM I within all of this? And maybe this is the reason we are so prone to move and act according to the stimuli others present to us in our lives, we really do not want to go through the inner conflict of getting to know ourselves and deciding upon a direction? At least this has been the case with me.

While moving with the flow requires no particular self-will or self-discipline, and mostly, comes very naturally, choosing upon and going in our own direction, is in my experience a lot more tough, at least the first times it is done. The times when I have decided to do what I see is common sense, while at the same time, I have had a desire to follow along with what everyone else was doing (which happened to be something different), I have been very conflicted about the decision. Sometimes I have wanted to go back on what I decided, because, what if my way is the wrong way? What if everyone else is right, and I am making a complete fool out of myself? This is characteristic I have found in terms of choosing and deciding upon our personal path, when we do, we have ALL the RESPONSIBILITY. We cannot blame person X for ‘putting us in this position’ – no we did it ourselves. However, that is also what I truly enjoy about making decisions for and as MYSELF – I am responsible – I am the creator – I move – I make it happen – and it will NOT happen by itself.

Thus, the solution as I see to change myself, from needing some form of response form others, to instead making and walking decisions that I have made myself, is to develop common sense – and learn to trust my common sense. If I have made a calculated decision, because I have seen that it is best, and someone else comes and says – ‘No, this is what is best!’ – if I stand clear within myself and know the specifics of my decisions – then I am less likely to fall into doubt and uncertainty. When I am clear within myself with regards to why I am doing what I am doing, I cannot be swayed and controlled the same way as I would otherwise.

Hence, this is exemplifies another point, it is not about being different, not about fear of what others might think about me – the reactions I have within me towards the input/response/stimuli of others reveals to me my relationship with myself – and if there is any form of dependency – that implies that I have not yet developed and stood as a point of grounded, decisive and clear point of common sense in my own life – but that I still wish to push the responsibility of my decisions unto others. As such, on a deeper dimension, it shows that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand accountable for my own life. The solution to this point is to live accountability – and do that through practicing STANDING with and by the decisions that I make – in terms of establishing what is BEST for ALL before I make a decision – and then deciding according to the assessment I have made. This way I will develop accountability – and at the same time – become a lot better at making decisions for myself, as well as standing with and by them even though others might say that I should do or think differently.


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Day 395: The Power of Writing

How to remain self-honest and walk process, how to not get distracted and lost in the entertainment offered within the system, how to keep one’s focus and chosen direction in life even though so much time goes into working, money, and other forms of responsibilities that must be handled in order to survive?

These are questions I have been looking at recently, because in acquiring a full time job, getting access to more money and a easier, more comfortable life, it is easy to forget what is important, it is easy to forget one’s purpose, and forgetting that, so many people in this world are without their basic necessities, living in unacceptable conditions, in a system that does not cater to the needs of everyone. What I have found as a solution to this problem is WRITING – the WRITTEN word – that has become my sanity and point of grounding. When everything spins fast, sitting down by my computer, and establishing the words I want to live and stand as within my life helps a lot. In writing, I am able to reaffirm my purpose, direction, movement – I am able to remind myself of what is crucial and what I want to do with myself – because with writing – I have a moment with myself where I am able to deliberately choose my WORDS – and my words become my WORLD.

If we take a look out in the world – we are constantly bombarded with words; advertisements, newspapers, television programs, books, music, conversations with other people – there is a on going soundboard of words entering our worlds daily. Hence – it is not strange that if we ourselves do not take responsibility to design ourselves according to the words we see are best – that we will slowly but surely loose focus – start to slip – forget – become led astray – because we begin to live and integrate words that others have put out into the world – instead of sticking with our own words – that we have decided upon because we see that they are best for us.

Because of this I have decided to put in some time to write most mornings before I leave for work – I use a pen and a paper and I allow it to take time required. However, with writing, I have found that it is not the amount written that matters, it is the principle, the direction, the clarity, the intent, the decisiveness in the words. I can write for an entire day – though if I am not self-honest – it will mean nothing at all. Same is true the other way around, I can write but one sentence, however with that sentence I can change my entire day – I can make a clear decision as to who I am going to be and live that day and then apply it – and through that make a directive and supportive movement in my life.

Hence – with writing – the power lies in writing words that MATTER – writing words that come from the HEART – and then – through writing – looking for and establishing solutions that can be lived PRACTICALLY – PHYSICALLY – HERE. It is through process of placing words that matter that I have been able to support myself to remain grounded and focused on my direction – and hence it is something that I would suggest for anyone interested in supporting themselves to make and create something more with their lives – a life lived from within and as principle – and not moved from thought to thought without any plan or goal.

 


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