Tag Archives: dream

Day 413: Success

I am now reading a book about becoming successful – and there are a few points I have been pondering about how we tend to view the concept of success – generally speaking.

One of the first ideas of success that comes through in the book is that success is about becoming recognized. I find that having such an idea of success becomes limiting, because, when you strive to be recognized in all that you do, how are you then able to remember and remain with your own purpose/direction/stability? Secondly, if our success is determined by whether others determine it as success by recognizing us, have we then ever really been the creators of our success, and walked the process for and as ourselves, or have we just spent a lot of time trying to convince others to like us? The dangerous thing about success is thus the tendency to become completely engulfed in the energy/experience/feeling of being seen/recognized/famous – and earning a lot of money. Because when we are in that zone – it is so easy to forget about ourselves – and forget about what is real.

In this book, the main character lives and breaths creating success/money for himself. He begins his day at 0530 by working out and answering e-mails, and stops his work day by 2200. His entire day is booked with meetings, events, and performances, all intended to increase his fortunes and broaden his influence. And in the world system – this person is highly respected and is given much attention for his abilities. However – I would like to question – why we tend to give this type of living so much attention? Why is it that we glorify hard work and earning money, when in-fact, much of the important things in life has nothing to do with work? And how come we do not give the same super-hero status to mothers, that give birth, and work long, long hours taking care of their babies, and raising them to become adults, and handle all the housework, and make it possible for their men to have glorious careers in the world system? That part of life is many times forgotten, or it is not given the same value.

I would argue that it is because we have become fooled into defining success through money and fame. If we make money and become famous, we are automatically successful. However, what is success really? When I look at it within myself, what comes through is that success is a more simple concept. Success on a base level is accomplishing and bringing projects/aspects in our life to their fullest potential. It is not about money or fame – it is about investing and giving ourselves – and moving beyond our limitations – raise our standards and create more. Thus – success can be lived and experienced regardless where you are in life – regardless of where you live – regardless of what job you have. Success for the mother that stays at home with her children is to stand as her best self and be an example to her children – and to passionately nurture and care for them. Success for the farmer is to invest himself fully in his crops and cattle, and make sure that they have the best life possible, and that he produce nutritious food.

Success is thus not about where we are at – it is about WHO WE ARE – and it is not a objective and static concept. Becoming successful is different depending on who you ask. And that is why we should not glorify any one single person as some form of master of life. Everyone has something to bring to the table – we are all strong in some aspect of our life. And – a society is only as strong as its most vulnerable and desolate inhabitants – which is why we need to life all of us up and give room in the spotlight. Because when we only place attention on the people we deem to be successful by evaluating whether they are famous or have money – we miss so much. There are many others in society that have something to show – that is sidestepped and diminished – because they do not live up to the standards of the world system.

All of us deserve to be recognized for who we are – and all of us deserve to be able to live and share our success in the world – and not feel forced to take on a ready-made definition of success that is fluctuating in the system.

Day 358: From Dreaming To Self-Creation

There is a big misconception in society. That dreams are meant to be followed and fulfilled, that dreams are something positive that we should have in our lives and that will motivate us to move forward. This is not true. In-fact, dreams most of the time cause a devolution to happen, instead of a evolution. The reasons for this are easy to see. Firstly, dreams are always created/experienced/felt within the mind. Hence, following and valuing dreams automatically causes a rift, where self gets separated from the physical living that is here. And instead of living, interacting, and expanding with what is HERE and REAL – self becomes consumed by the dream – and pursues a direction that is only based on this image.

It is similar to a drug addiction. The addict will be motivated by his urge to consume drugs and he will easily forget his reality in order to fulfill his desires, and according to the addict, what is of primary importance is to realize his addiction. In this state of mind, responsibilities, consideration and care for others as well as self, will be given secondary importance. The consequences of such a behavior is obvious – most of us have seen what drug addiction does to a human being if the addiction is allowed to continue for a prolonged time. And even though the addiction to dreams does not have the same visible and consequential outflows as drug addiction, dreaming still seriously impacts our ability to live effectively and consider the life of others.

However, there is another thing about dreams that is not understood. Dreams are not meant to be followed, in-fact, the function of dreaming is to be a way sign, a way to navigate and look at what is currently amiss within self as a living expression. The solution to dreaming is thus to learn to decode the dreams and see what they are showing about self and in that answer the question, what is missing within self that causes this dream to exist?

An example from my own life would be the following. I dream/desire to get a new power tool that would allow me to perform a new woodworking technique, and hence support me to expand and challenge myself in my hobby of woodworking. Looking at the content of the dream, the words that come through are NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE. Thus, what the dream is showing, is not that that I must have a new power tool. Rather, the dream indicates that I am not practicing living the words NEW, EXPAND and CHALLENGE in relation to my hobby of woodworking. And looking at my relationship with woodworking, I can see that this is true, and that instead of moving myself to take on new projects, I have accepted and allowed myself to wait, and hold back, believing that with the last project I finished, I was now allowed to feel satisfied with myself and put my woodworking hobby to the side for a moment.

The trick is thus to make the substance and essence of the dreams/desires that come up within us PRACTICAL and LIVABLE here – to make them concrete and put them into action – in such a way that we are able to live what our dreams show us instead of trying to align our reality to the visual content of the dream – because it is NOT about the visuals – it is about OURSELVES and our SELF-EXPRESSION.

To summarize and conclude: We look at the RESONANCE and SUBSTANCE of the dreams – the WORDS that can be read in between the lines – and put those words/expressions into PRACTICAL application in our Daily Living – that is the solution.

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Day 337: How To End Rear View Mirror Living?

When you build something big, such as a house, there will (unless you are MacGyver or some other perfect individual) be mistakes made, things missed, points forgotten, or not considered sufficiently. I know because I have been there, it is not possible, or at least, close to impossible to build the perfect house, or the perfect what-so-ever. In the end, there will always be things that could have been better. For me, it has been sometimes difficult to come to terms with these mistakes, that after the house has been finished, each day openly and glaringly stares me in my face. The emotion is there, that deep urge, and desire, to be able to turn back time and make a different decision, the right one. And even though it is of no point to go in my mind go back in time, and consider these things, the experience driving this thought-process is an experience that it could potentially change something, there is that nagging experience, that maybe, maybe if I stick with it, and look at it once more, it will change.

This way of approaching life – which I coin Rear-View-Mirror-Living – is a real party killer. The consequences of ‘Rear-Mirroring’ (the verb conjugation of my new word) is that I will not give the necessary attention to my life HERE, I will not focus on improving and pushing my daily living forward, but my thoughts, and my considerations will remain in the past – LIFE here will become but a empty narrative – bereft of substance – because all of my being will be in the past. The main problem thus is that no CREATION will happen as all attention is gathered on what has already been created – and the faults/mistakes of that particular creation – it is a form of regret. And we, sane people, can all agree that living in regret is no way to live, though few of us are able to use that regret, the Rear-Mirror-Living, as keys to self-expansion and building a better life for ourselves. In other words, making the enemy our friend.

What we see in our rear view and that bugs us will be consequences created by aspects of ourselves which we are able to change in the present. Unfortunately however, what we see in our rear view, such as regrets, will often end up as an emotion a – a state of dissatisfaction and a point that we continuously go back to in order to ponder – only serving our mind and not our physical creation. Hence, what is missed in that state of pondering about the past is that we can instead look at HOW we created the particular situation that is now a point of regret within us; What about our character was responsible for creating the situation/point we now experience a regret towards? Because, if we are able to see HOW we created a particular point in the past, we can identify where we are creating the same in our present reality, and thus how we are able to assist and support ourselves to change, and realign, to NOT recreate the past.

A part from us being able to shift the tendency of Rear-View-Mirror-Living into a present and future oriented CREATION living – what is important when it comes to stopping our ‘looking back phenomena’ is to dare to NOT think – having the courage to simply STOP. I have noticed that at times, I have felt compelled to think about something, and oftentimes the illusion is that I am able to reach some form of conclusion or state of release by thinking, thus making me anxious of stopping my thought process, because what if I then miss out on this great realization I am apparently about to have? However, I have realized that, thinking about these things, without exception, always leads to an even more unstable and conflicted state of mind. Release only comes through letting go of the process of thinking, and that takes some courage, because it implies letting go of the problem/issue/experience that is the foundation of the thought pattern. And because we let go of a foundation, we now have to create our own self – our own direction/movement/future – that is why it is so scary – we are entering into the unknown.

Let us look at another perspective on this point: When someone goes of rambling about mistakes they did in the past, it is easy to attempt and try to comfort them by telling them that things are not as bad as they think. This however is not an efficient way of approaching the Rear-View-Character – what instead should be brought to their attention is that by looking at the mechanics of HOW their past moment was created – and HOW those mechanics are still a part of their present life – and as such – they will be able to stop themselves from recreating their past. Hence their focus and effort should be placed on aligning and changing these inefficient traits, memes and quirks (their current self-mechanics) so that they can walk into a better future. When we look at the past pro-actively – it can be a GREAT source of knowledge that we are able to use to get to know ourselves better.

To sum it up. Rear-View-Mirror-Living (do I have copyright on this term now?) is in its essence an addiction to thoughts – we want to think about our past – feel good or bad about it – continuously assess, value, pinpoint, and define with our minds. This is a LIMITATION – because by existing in a Rear View State – we miss out on CREATING our life HERE. This brings me into the solution – which is to CREATE: CREATE our future – CREATE our character – CREATE our skills, abilities, our integrity, our state of mind, our WHO WE ARE – and NOT leave anything to to chance. In that process of CREATION – we are able to use our inner Rear View Mirror to LEARN about ourselves – to see where we need fine tuning, and to understand, what consequences our characters and patterns have the potential of creating. However – the Rear View must never become a purpose in itself – we USE it to expand – not to be in a constant state of looking back.

Learn more about this way of living:

Day 335: Slowing Down

Of all animal species on earth, human beings is the only one capable of creating a dream/goal/vision, and then, walk through life with the sole focus of fulfilling that future point of creation. All other types of animals lives and creates in the moment with no particular idea of how they would like their future to look like. As much as this skill we have is what makes us powerful, extraordinary and capable of building magnificent things, it is also our greatest weakness, in particular when our drive/desire to bring something into creation ‘out there’ gets in the way of living and experiencing life on a day to day basis HERE.

To better understand this point I will share an example from my own life. All since beginning my university studies some 6 years ago, I have been very motivated to get through them and to dive into the world system and start applying myself in my area of expertise. This focus of mine was initially very supportive, because I was clear and determined, I knew where I was going and had a general idea of how I was going to get there. However, when I was about to finish my studies, and I applied for the last advanced courses, a doubt and insecurity started to creep up within me. I had achieved excellent marks and before me was a world of opportunities, though the problem was that I had no particular interest or passion in any field or area. For me, all the various focuses that I could decide to move into where the same. On top of this, there was a conflict within me, as to whether I should choose a focus where there was more money, or a focus that was more aligned with what I enjoyed to do.

This uncertainty grew within me and continued for a long while after I was done with my university studies. I just did not feel comfortable in deciding on a focus, on a direction, and on where I wanted to take my life. I felt like it was too much of a decision, because, what if I made the wrong decision? What if I after several years realized that I had moved in the wrong direction? What was I supposed to do then? At that point I would have wasted all of these years, when I instead could have made the right decision immediately. Hence, what became my focus was what I wanted to do in the future, not, what I wanted to do, and what I was already involved with HERE. Because, as I was having these uncertainties about my future, I at the same time enrolled in a advanced class, and I continued to pursue hobbies and leisurely interests – yet always with this little voice deep inside my mind reminding me that I did not really know what to make of myself in my future.

It is fascinating to look back and see how this pattern of wanting to know and be clear on who I am going to be, and what I am going to do in my future plays out, and what that consequences flows from this mind design. In trying so desperately to know what we going to create with our lives, we miss out on the actual real life process of creating and building ourselves, our days, our interests, our careers, and all of the various things that are included in this thing we call life. Instead of creation being HERE, in the moment, in the physical, something that we express naturally as WHO WE ARE, life then becomes mechanic, where we fill ourselves up with logical assessments and attempts at making final and conclusive decisions as to where we are going, FORGETTING that, life can only be effectively lived in the moment – and while it is possible to have a plan and general outline of where we are going – it is not possible to decide upon where we will end up eventually.

I had a chat with a friend of mine during the time when my uncertainties reached a peak, and she shared with me the following:

We often think that things only get moving THERE in the FUTURE – when all the while, to create that future – starts with EVERY DAY, that little you do to get things moving and building on it however much you can with each passing day.

This statement has been the SOLUTION for me to move out of my inner madness of continuously wondering about, considering, and looking at what I should do – and instead embracing what is HERE.

I find it fascinating how it is so, so easy to become overwhelmed and lost within feelings and fantasies of what we should be doing, want to do, feel like doing, resist doing, hope to do, dream about doing, instead of focusing on WHAT WE ARE DOING and what is POSSIBLE in the life we already live here. It is so easy to get lost in thoughts about doing and experiencing things that are not a practical or a realistic option, and at the same time, completely forgetting and missing what is right in-front of us.

Now, creation starts HERE, with the small and seemingly insignificant acts that things moving in the direction we have foreseen. If you have an urge to learn a new language, however, you have looked at it and realized that there is no time to do to pursue a course or travel a country where that language is spoken – then – instead of getting stuck in that state of wondering – look at of the box – what small thing are you able to do in your everyday life that will bring you closer to the goal that you have set for yourself. Maybe, one such act would be to buy a audio beginners language course and then practice and  learn the new language while driving to work?

When we SLOW the fuck DOWN – stop rushing and looking at what we must reach out there in the future – and bring our focus BACK HERE – that is when shit starts to make sense. Whatever it is that we want, on some level, it is already here and ripe for the taking – we just need to open our eyes – see it – and act.

Learn more about this way of living:

Day 321: My Alternate Realities

Holding on to points, this is a tendency that has opened up within me during the last week. I have encountered this when it comes to second guessing decisions I have made, where I want to hold unto the potential direction that I did not choose, and when it comes to holding unto experiences – and in particular desires/wants/urges – when these experiences come up – it is hard for me to let go.

Why is it that I do not want to let go?

From what I can see, it has to do with the idea that if I let go, I will miss out and loose something that would have made my life a lot more entertaining and effective. For example with the decisions I have made with my career, I still hold unto, and do not entirely want to embrace the direction I have chosen, because, what if, that other direction that I did not pick was the better one? And then when it comes to desires/wants/urges – it is the same thing – because usually I will have made a decision and picked a certain path to fulfill a certain desire/preference – and then the fear comes up; what if that other direction was better?

Hence, why I want to hold unto things is because I fear missing out, I fear making a mistake, I fear doing the wrong thing, I fear not being able to experience my desires/dreams the way I hoped – and hence I create a way to hold unto that potential within me. Obviously, this does not work, because in physical reality, I have already made the decision, and in-fact, I am only compromising myself and my future by holding unto a alternate reality, because how can I give myself completely to my life if I am divided within myself? A house divided will not stand.

The solution is to embrace my life as it is here – the decisions I have made – to walk them fully and see where they might take me – to not accept and allow myself to live in alternate realities – but to live in this ONE reality HERE – and make the most out of it. To live the COURAGE of letting go of any alternate reality – to remain in ONE reality and make the most of what is in-fact HERE – for REAL. Because, is there anything that I can possibly gain by holding unto a imaginary alternate reality in my mind? No, nothing, as that alternate reality is not even real, and many times, not a possibility either, as I have already committed myself to the decision I have made to such an extant that it would be ridiculous to go back on it. I see that I must EMBRACE reality as it is HERE – and work with it – and make THAT the priority – WORKING with what is ALREADY here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in and nurture alternate realities, prospects, hopes, and unfulfilled desires, that I want to be realized in these alternate realities, and thus hold unto emotional patterns, as I fear letting them go, as letting them go, would equally mean that I let go of my alternate reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that life is not created neither lived in an alternate reality, because in-fact, there is no such thing as an alternate reality, it only exists in my mind, and hence, I want to hold unto, and live for and as my mind, for the idea of a reality that exists in my mind, instead of sticking with what is REAL here, and developing myself, my life, my physical, practical living, on a day-to-day basis, to as such construct, and create something of real value, and not merely something that exists in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my emotional reactions, because I fear letting go of my alternate reality, and hence I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not make an absolute decision, in terms of making the decision completely, fully, without looking back, making my direction and clear and then moving myself, and hence not stopping up in mid-air, to look back, and see whether it might have been better to remain behind, because fact is that I am now mid-air, I have jumped, now the process and what is relevant is to direct myself HERE – and if I do not do that – I will create consequences for and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have difficulty letting go of an emotion, most of the times, it is because I am protecting and defending an alternate reality, a hope, a desire, an urge of wanting my life to be formed and shaped in accordance with my alternate dream reality, and hence I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not will myself to let go of the point – and implement the direction of LIVING and CREATING – and BUILDING myself and my life HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my alternate realities, in how I want things to be, instead of living and participating HERE with how things REALLY are, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remember that what goes on in my mind – in my alternate dream realities – that will not ever come real – it is a imagination, a accumulation of various believes and ideas, integrated into a false story existing in my mind, that will not ever exist, because it is not of and as physical matter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace REALITY – and realize that the solution to my tendency of living in alternate dream realities, is to investing myself fully into this reality – into this life – giving LIFE my everything – and hence not accepting and allowing myself to vest my attention, focus and effort into a false reality existing only as pictures and images in my mind

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to invest myself in this physical reality – to give attention, focus and effort into living and creating myself HERE – to understand that I can only create my life here when and as I am here – and I am not split in my mind between various imaginary realities

I commit myself to embrace my life as it is HERE and make the best out of it – to give myself fully – through being HERE in each and every breath – and walking in every moment with and as breath – with and as my physical body

I commit myself to create in the physical – and stop myself when I notice myself going into my alternate realities of the mind – and to instead bring myself back here – and focus myself on creating and living HERE

Day 307: Longing For More

About two years ago I started planning my future when it came to career, living arrangements, and what type of future that I wanted to experience in my life. In this process I was able to reach a few conclusions, such as for example: I want to live on the country side and I want to be able to have a career in which I can be flexible and steer my working hours in a way that fits me. Now I am at a stage where I have realized parts of my plan, and where I have come to see, that the assessments I made two years ago where in many ways correct. My plan has worked out in many respecs– and I should be happy. Though the fascinating thing is that, I am not.

Because, here I am, having reached my goals, finding out that things are not the way I imagined – and with that I mean – the way I perceived that they would feel. For example, in living on the country side, what I perceive to be amiss in my environment now is ambition and career-driven people. And then further, I feel that the small city which I live close to is to small, not enough people, it is too plain, and boring. Instead of being satisfied, my mind is moving towards a future in one of the bigger cities – something that I have planned to avoid due to the various inconveniences that go with living in a bigger city; such as housing prices, infrastructure, transportation, living costs etc. Hence, I find this development within me fascinating. And what I have realized is that this tendency of wanting what is not here, of seeing that is over there, and the bad that is here, it is a tendency I have had for some time – the inability to settle down and be content with what is here – and thus – work with what is here instead of trying to escape it.

Instead of appreciating what I have and the positive aspects of my reality, what stands out is the negative, what stands out is what I do not have, and what I feel that I should have. And this has been a theme in my life, mostly I have felt that my life is somewhere there, in the future, my life will begin in a year or two, my life will begin when I get over there, and in that process of projection, I miss the life that is HERE. Because I have seen, that it is not so much about WHERE you are, it is about WHO you are – WHO you are determines EVERYTHING. You can live in the most perfect of worlds, and still, if you are not stable and settled within yourself, there will still exist a restlessness deep inside, a want to get out, to experience something different, to not be here, but to get away.

What is then the solution?

The solution is to realize that projections into the future indicates what is amiss in my expression and practical living HERE – and hence – the projection is a coping mechanism – because through projections we are able to feel as if we are some time, some day actually going to reach our goals/dreams/wishes – however – we will not – because that projection only exists in the first place because we are not living that experience as ourselves.

For example, with me, what I now long for is a bustling city, filled with opportunities and momentum – and hence – a place where I can feel challenged and where I still have security and stability – and I also see that my projection contains a touch of fulfillment and completion – it is as if I will only somewhere in my future be able to realize myself as fulfillment – and feel utterly at ease with myself – no longing. Though this is as well an illusion – because fulfillment and completion can never come to me from my outside world – it can never be something that I find out there – instead these are words that I must live – that I must bring to life through living on a moment to moment basis.

Hence, when projections of the future come up, this can be utilized as a support, through asking oneself; what does these projections show me about myself? What is is that I have not created and lived HERE for and as myself that I am still projecting into the future? Thus instead of trying to reach my projection – I can instead bring my projection HERE – and make that desire/want/wish/preference that I see out there – a part of my living reality HERE as how I live – how I stand in thought, word and deed. This is the key to being able to create anything – because suddenly we are not bound by space and time – we are bound by our own initiative, push and drive – and how much we will ourselves to create ourselves.

Day 285: Grounded In My Responsibilities

One thing that I am really good at is being creative, imagining things, experimenting, finding new ways, and finding solutions to problems. It is a skill that I have developed through my life and that has also been inherent since birth – I have always been this way. Now, this skill, of being flexible and fast in my thought processes also has a downside – and this is hence a weakness that I have had through most my life – the ability to remain grounded and steadfast.

An example of how this polarity plays out is the following. During my weekends I have several responsibilities to attend to. Most importantly is cleaning, and then also tending to the chickens at the farm where I live. Though, what tends to happen is that my imagination starts running, and I concoct several other things I would also like to do; projects I would like to complete, things I would like to build, stuff I would like to investigate and research, etc. I then tend to become worked up about my imaginative ideas, which seem to be so much fun, and then my attention/focus go to these. What consequently happens is that I am not sufficiently grounded/stable in my reality, and because of this I forget responsibilities, I down prioritize things that are important and that should be given priority, and I become absent-minded and forgetful.

The problem as such is that I am not enough grounded in my physical body, not sufficiently steadfast in sticking with my responsibilities, which leads to unwanted consequences. Hence, what I want to change with myself is this point of me accepting and allowing myself to become carried away in imaginations and future plans – and replace this tendency of dreaming myself into states of exhilaration with a stability and sense of being grounded in my physical body. In order to be effective in this life I require having a balance – thus it is no solution to be constantly grounded in the physical, and never accept and allow my imagination to run, to see what possibilities there are for expansion and movement, and it is no solution to be constantly imagining new things, starting new projects and not following through on them.

Imagination and inner projection can be useful when they are self-directed, and when they do not get in the way of my responsibilities here in the physical. Thus something that I can practice, is for example, to give myself a moment each day where I ask myself the question: “Okay, what can be improved, what can be expanded, what is it that I can create in my life that would be of benefit?” – and then otherwise throughout my day, as I am tending to my responsibilities, to practice remaining grounded in the physical, and present with what I am doing. That way I will be able to create a balance in my life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overly active in my imagination, where I create these grand plans, and projects, and I feel really exhilarated, not seeing, realizing and understanding that when I compromise my already existent responsibilities, projects, and commitments when and as I accept and allow myself to exist in a state of constant projection, imagination, and forward motion towards something different than what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice being grounded and steadfast in my decisions, projects, plans and responsibilities, to push through the temptation of imagining other things I could be doing, or other things I could be experiencing – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is for me to embrace repetition, and routine, and understand that these words are an important part of creation in this physical reality – that to build and create something – one have to walk the same or similar actions many times over until the point that one wants to create stands here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that being grounded here in the physical in itself offers opportunities of discovery, and adventure, where I can for example notice new things, or develop my skills in what I am doing in that moment, become more specific, and expand myself in someway or another, which I would not have been able to do if I instead was in my mind dreaming – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself as a physical being – understanding that exhilaration, adventure and excitement are words that I can live within exploring and walking this physical reality here – and that I do not need my mind to stand as and walk my life within and as these words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to dreaming and imagination, and believe that this is the only way I can experience exhilaration, and excitement – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not experiment with living excitement and exhilaration in my physical reality with my physical body – to see how it is that I can experience these words for real and not just as energy in my mind

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into imagination, projections, and a inner excitement, exaltation, because I can create things in my mind, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that when and as I accept and allow myself to venture into the realm of imagination, I forget what is here, and I do not pay sufficient, and enough attention to what I am doing here in the physical, which leads to me compromising responsibilities, and commitments – and thus I commit myself to remain grounded, physical and steadfast when I am walking through my day – to practice walking with one feet in-front of the other and being aware of every step and movement that I make

I commit myself to take time each day to sit down and look at what I can do with my life, with myself, and the resources I have at my disposal, to as such, each day push myself to expand, and see where I am able to create and expand myself and my reality – and hence I commit myself to direct this process of imagination and inner creation – and thus not accept and allow it to simply happen now and again – when I am not in control – and not specific about what I am doing in my mind

I commit myself to create a balance between imagination/projection/creating my future – and living HERE in the physical – understanding that when I accept and allow myself to venture into imagination-mode while I am doing things here in the physical, I will compromise myself and the moment that I am walking, because my focus and attention will be elsewhere – and hence I commit myself to be specific within myself when I accept and allow myself to go into ‘future-creation’ mode – to create it within myself as a decision and do this in moments when I am not compromising my relationship with this physical world

Day 209: The Fountain of Life

Since I began opening up my point of purpose a couple of interesting realizations have emerged – and one of these are in relation to my choice of career – my decision of what I am going to do in this life in order to make money.

The problem that I’ve been facing is that of continuously preparing, changing and altering myself in order to fit into the idea of my future, and the concept of what I am going to do with my life, and the projection of how my life will pan out – thus – trying to alter and mold myself in this breath here in order to fit into a concept of a future that I’ve created in my mind – naturally this is going to cause problems.

This is not the first time that I’ve done this – creating a goal – a end-station – a point of future fulfillment and then going full on to reach that is a trait that have been with me since I can remember. The tendency is thus to formulate a final destination in my mind and then attempt and try to shape myself here – to fit into that idea of a final destination – instead of walking in the moment – within self-trust – knowing my direction and my purpose – and thus taking it breath by breath – realizing that I can only create in alignment with me and my physical if I am HERE and aware of what is going on both within and without.

Because when following a goal, a dream, a clearly defined picture in my mind – neither me as a being, nor my physical reality is taken into account – and consequently points are compromised, forgotten or missed – and the end result even though the initial goal might be fulfilled is not at all what it makes out to be – it’s rather a picture that underneath holds a lot of suffering and harm that was lived out in order to create the idea of the perfect life.

This is what I did when I decided to become a famous and recognized guitar player – I made a goal within me of what I wanted to become – then I started to shape all of my life, myself, my looks, my clothes, what I used my time for, everything, in order to attain that one singular future – obviously resulting in compromises – also resulting in me not seeing that guitar and music might not be the things that best complement my expression – not seeing that there are many other opportunities in my world that might be more relevant for me to walk into if accept and allow myself to do so.

Thus – goals, dreams, future hopes – when made into absolutes they become blindfolds and barricades that limits us from living HERE – because to live HERE we require to open to what comes our way – open to changes, new directions, new considerations, new perspectives, new people, new goals, new insights – unknown variables that we’re not able to foresee – but that unfolds as we walk the purpose and the decision we’ve given to ourselves.

As such it’s important that we give ourselves direction – to give ourselves purpose and a way forward – yet that way forward must only ever be a road sign – a sense of direction – that “Okay – I am going this way!” – not an absolute truth of how our future must turn out – not a undebatable religion that must be fulfilled at all cost – because a road sign must not determine the final destination – that must be something I do here – I am the driver and the road sign is merely a road signing pointing the direction as to where I want to go – yet I am actively creating – willing and moving myself towards the destination – as I proceed forward in life.

Here what opens up is the point of standing as the fountain of life – and making that fountain of expression that is me the point of creation from which my movement flows and moves – it’s thus a complete shift in perspective that is required – to instead of moving from the idea of where I should go – move from HERE as SEEING where I am to go next – where I am going to place my foot thereafter. Thus – making the pivotal point of movement MYSELF – SELF – the fountain of life HERE.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require the mind in order to create – and that the only way to create my future is to attempt and try to change myself here into what I believe is required and needed for me to build my future – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself within and as self-trust – and moving and directing myself in the moment to create my future and external reality with me as the primary point of creation – as the fountain of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself as a fountain of life – and as a movement and as the motivation to create and bring things into motion – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead place my trust into plans, goals and techniques – and ways to reach what I believe I require and need in order to get somewhere – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace myself as the fountain of life – and create my life and living HERE – create my future HERE – create my career and my relationship to money HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ve been limiting myself in relation to self-creation – and in relation to creating my life and my future – through giving authority to the mind – as believing that in order for me to create and build – in order for me to further myself – move myself and get ahead – I require to emulate and mold myself here – and prepare myself into a particular shape and form to be able to fit into my future and my coming life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk into the future – to walk into my life – to walk here and direct myself in accordance with what is opening up in the moment – to trust myself that I’ll be able to direct and live my life here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become inflexible in relation to creation – wherein I believe that I require to form one plan – one idea – one fix notion of what my future must become – and how my future must be – and then that I shape and form myself here in order for me to fit into my future – and fit into my becoming in this world – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk into this life and this world as the fountain of life – and trust myself that I’ll be able to open up and direct my life in each and every moment as it opens up – that I’ll be able to create myself and direct myself according to the points that emerge and that I can find solutions and ways to deal with my life as I see it develops and moves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to stand as the fountain of life in relation to money and career – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that in order for me to create an effective future for myself – I must become something different from what I am here – instead of me creating my future as a expression of myself – as something that I move from here into creation – that I move from myself as the living breath and the living movement of the physical into actuality and physical manifestation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’m able to walk a purpose and a direction in my life – and that I make this purpose and direction my stability and groundedness – and that I then move from this point – yet I don’t accept and allow myself to become controlled and limited by any goal or plan – but that I remain here with myself in realizing that all creation stem from this point of HERE – and that in order for creation to be effective and potent – I require to be stable within myself – and make the movement of my life come into creation from myself as the fountain of life

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a state of inflexibility, as moving myself from within and as a starting point that I must change myself, mold myself, and refigure myself in order to fit into my idea of how my future should play out – I stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I make the goal and the plan more than me – more than what is here – more than common sense in the moment – I am limiting myself and my creation of myself into the physical – and I am making myself less effective because I wait for me to change and mold myself into what I believe I must be instead of me moving and directing myself to express myself; thus I commit myself to stand as the fountain of life – and create my future – create my life – create myself HERE – and trust myself that I will walk what comes up in my world – that I will direct myself according to the points that I see are developing here and find solutions – and find the way forward

I commit myself to trust myself to stand as the fountain of life in my world – and to create my external reality equal and one to this fountain of life – and thus CREATE myself and my life – CREATE what I want my life to be – and not anymore wait for things to emerge – and hope that things are going to happen – but move myself everyday to actually will a change in my life and in myself that I’m satisfied and content with

Day 201: Studies and Self-Worth

The season of exams usually comes with stress and anxiety for me – though this time around I’ve been willing myself to consistently utilize the tool of self-forgiveness and breathing to bring myself out of this worrisome state of mind.

In going deeper into these reactions I’ve realized one fascinating thing – that often the reason that I am anxious and worried is because I want to receive a good mark, and excel in the course – though – and here is the interesting part – it’s not actually for ME. I’ve found that the reason I want to excel, the reason I want to get great marks is because I want OTHERS to like me, to be impressed by me, to find some worth and value in me – and so this shows an interesting separation in my starting point in regards to studies – that there exist a point of wanting to prove myself to others, and build my self-value and worth through the reactions, and experiences others have towards me.

I’ve seen that there are some primary persons that I desire to impress, and included in that number is my parents, and my family – even though I am soon in my thirties this point exist within me – that I want to show how good I am to my parents and through that gain a feeling of value and worth. Otherwise there is no actual person I want to impress, rather it’s me wanting to be impressive in general, and to be that I require to be in some favorable and highly regarded position in the system – where I will be seen as a winner, gain the respect and admiration from others, and apparently within that be valuable.

Thus – the point I want to reach is to get back to myself – and do my studies for ME – set high standards and far reaching goals for MYSELF – and not to impress another – and in this be unconditional with myself – and if I happen to fail in reaching my goals or living up to my standards – to then assist and support myself to enhance myself – and not judge myself, or go into worry, fear, and anxiety – rather push myself, will myself, and drive myself – yet without a energy driving me forward.

So, I see that when I study for my exams, and when I do my exams, I can transform this desire to be approved, to instead utilizing these situations as challenges, where I push myself to remain stable in the face of adversities and challenges – and where I push myself to reach my goals, and apply myself to the best of my ability – and not accept and allow anything less of myself than what I know am capable of – and where I take into account that my studiousness will pay off in that it will be a stepping stone into my future – thus I take the point back to myself – and make studying something I do for myself – make exams something that I do for me – make schooling and education something that I do for me – something that I walk and that I can utilize to challenge myself, grow and expand.

Thus – instead of anxiety and stress – rather look with excitement and thrill towards placing myself in a situation where I will be challenged mentally and physically – because there I know that I can push myself, will myself, and expand myself beyond what I thought myself capable of doing – as such I walk into the system realizing that it’s an adventure that will challenge me in a multitude of ways – and that even though it might be physically arduous and tough – I can still enjoy and utilize the process as nourishment in my self-growth – because I decide to do that.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change and transform the challenge of walking in the system, the difficulties, that hardships, into points that I use to grow, to expand and to develop myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make schooling, exams, and university studies an expression of myself – something that I do for myself – something that I will myself to excel within and create the best possible outcome within – as a personal challenge for me to expand myself – as well as realizing that it’s through this process that I am setting the bedrock for my future in the world money system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the challenge, the difficulty, and the arduous process of creating a life for myself in this world, and this system – and see, realize and understand that even though it can be physically and demanding – that I don’t require to burden myself emotionally – but that I can walk through it and remain within and as the stability my human physical body provides – and utilize my life as a platform upon which I create the character of life I see have the potential to live – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my exam that I am going to have tomorrow – to embrace all possible outcomes – to embrace all possible outflows – and to stabilize myself within and as my human physical body and remain stable throughout the event

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to excel in my studies, and get the best mark, get recognized and highly valued by my teachers, and my parents, thinking that this is how I generate value for myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally value myself – to not unconditionally give myself the piece of mind to know that regardless of the outcome of the test and my exams – I will stand by myself in stability within and as my human physical body – and not accept and allow myself to be influenced on a feeling or emotional level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nervous and anxious as to not producing the best mark tomorrow at my exam – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and define my self-value and self-worth according to the mark I receive – and according to the reactions I receive from family members and other close relatives as to my grades – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus not accept myself unconditionally – and embrace the test and all outcomes and realize that regardless of what mark I receive I will still love myself – and accept myself – and not accept and allow myself to limit my relationship with myself upon the basis of how I am graded and categorized in the system of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous and anxious that I won’t produce the best mark – that I will receive questions that are too difficult and tough to get through – and that I am because of that going to fail with my exam – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a hope and desire within me – that I am going to succeed with my exams – that I am going to succeed with my education – that I am going to be able to get a fantastic and desirable job when I am done with my degree – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto that positive self-image in my mind – and have that as a desire that burns within me and drives me forward – not realizing that this creates an equal amount of fear and anxiety that serves to stagnate me and make me mentally ineffective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my value through the self-definition that ‘I am intelligent’ and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the only real value and skill that I have is that I can study effectively, memorize information, and then repeat it before teachers and get good grades in school – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my relationship with myself in thinking that all of my stability and my value rests upon my enabling myself to achieve in school – not seeing, realizing and understanding that this is not all of me – that this doesn’t signify the entirety of my relationship with myself – and thus I commit myself to accept and value myself regardless of how I am evaluated and defined through marks and grades in school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value and accept myself regardless of marks and grades in school – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that marks and grades in school is my only asset – the only thing that I have to compete with in this harsh and brutal world – and that thus I must at all stages always impress upon others – and make sure that I get the best grades – the best marks – and that I prove my excellence and capabilities to others – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and give myself the present of valuing and accepting myself unconditionally – not accepting and allowing any roadblocks within me to stand in the way of me living me life in a constant state of stability – where I don’t fluctuate or move regardless of the situation I am facing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for acceptance and stability – and expect these expressions to come through when and if I am able to effectively place myself in the world system – and create a life for myself that is stable with regards to money – and where I have a prestigious and highly regarded job – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my own salvation – to wait for my own life to happen – instead of me giving myself permission and allowance to live that here – to not anymore wait for something to manifest in my future – but instead give this point to myself here – that I am stability – that I am sound and grounded – and regardless of the outcome of my test and my exam – I will stand here grounded and stable with myself and not accept and allow myself to waver

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into the worrisome-character, as thinking about whether or whether not I am going to get the best mark in the test and exam to come, and whether or whether not I’ll be able to get a good and prestigious job in the future – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this fear and anxiety is misplaced – that I don’t require it and need to live a fulfilling life – and that I must give myself the permission to not succeed with my goals and plans – and be fine with that – and stand in such a way within me that regardless of how my physical reality moves – I remain grounded – physical – sound and stable – and nothing moves within me; thus I commit myself to breathe through these reactions – and ground myself back into my physical body – and state to myself that I am here – and I accept and value myself regardless of the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to with self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements – work with my self-experience – so that I don’t anymore go into anxiety and fear when I am faced with challenges in this world with regards to money – and thus I commit myself to practice and create a stability within me that can’t be touched – that is unbreakable – that is untouchable – and that regardless of the outcome in my world – I stand within and as this stability and move myself

I commit myself to accept and love myself regardless of the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to not base my value and worth on the outcome of my exam

I commit myself to support myself through the exam – and through writing the exam – through breathing and grounding myself back into my human physical body – and not accepting and allowing myself to make this event in anyway emotional – but rather walk through it as the physical and mental challenge that it is in-fact – and enjoy the point of seeing how effective I can be in this pressure situation – and how I can push myself to be stable and walk the point regardless of the pressure of the situation

Day 188: Forgetting To Live

It’s quite easy to fall into a pattern of being – and a way of accepting and seeing yourself when there is no one around to point out that this is what is happening – luckily I’m part of a group that’s walking to create a world that is best for all – and in this group we do assist and support each-other to point out when we see that we’ve been going into a pattern of being that is not assisting and supporting us in our expression.

So, yesterday I had a discussion with someone about experiences that I’ve had recently, that I’ve been unable to explain – and what came forward was that I’ve in stood back within myself and waited – and this have created the consequence that I’ve placed emotional stress on myself and that I’ve begun creating the experience of ‘losing my lust for life’.

I could relate to what this person told me – and I could see where in my life that I’ve been standing back and waiting – though it took a while for me to realize that this ‘standing back’ have actually happened most extensively within me – and in particular in regards to a pattern of dread towards future/career/education – that I’ve been writing about here. So, I’ve not actually taken this pattern to a conclusion – I lived into my physical world – and that is one point where I see that I’ve been waiting. I’ve been waiting for my self-forgiveness and my dedication in writing to take this point into correction – and in that I’ve not willed myself to each and every time this fear comes up – to say: NO – I will not accept and allow this – I will not lead my life by fear! – Because I see that this is what is required – I require putting my self-forgiveness and my writings into physical, practical application and stop waiting for something to do this for me.

I also got the question as to how I am able to make my relationship to career/future/money more interesting – and here I realized that there are opportunities in my life in relation to these aspects – that holds the answer – that there are very specific points that would imply making my life in these aspects more interesting and challenging – and the problem is that I’ve not yet embraced those points – and accepted and allowed myself to walk them into create – without hesitation – without fear – without wanting someone else to make a decision for me – without doubting my decision and myself within it – but instead doing it – getting it – moving myself and getting it done.

Thus – I see before me that I’ve some practical applications to start working with:

Look at how I am able make my life in the context of money/career/education/future – more interesting/challenging

Stop waiting and walk the necessary corrections that are required to be walked – and don’t expect this to happen by itself

Start owning my decisions, responsibilities, future – start owning my life – in that I make the decision – I walk – and I move – because I decided to do so

If I am to summarize what I’ve learned – and what I see that I need to incorporate in my life – it comes down to one word – LIFE – meaning to realize that I am here – and the only place to create and live is HERE – I can’t wait for life to happen to me – I must create/direct and will life into existence.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my life to happen – to wait for myself to stop certain accepted and allowed reactions in my mind – to wait for myself to change – to wait for myself to expand – to wait for myself to find the right decision – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can wait for an eternity because I have to make that decision – I have to make the final movement and say – this is where I am going – this what I am doing – and this is why I am doing it – end of story – let’s go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring into my life the living of playfulness and the application of being like a breath of life – meaning: to not fear living – to not fear going into the unknown – to not fear challenges – to instead face my life with playfulness and self-trust – in realizing that whatever is going to happen – I will stand here with myself and walk through the point – and get it done until it’s done – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace this point of walking into my future fearlessly – realizing that I will only create fear within myself when and as I start thinking – and thus I commit myself to end all thinking – make a decision – and then walk my decision until it’s done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for LIFE, friskiness and playfulness outside of myself in relationships – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am looking for and desiring this point – because I’ve not made the decision within me to walk – and trust myself in what I walk – and get it done – to make a decision that I see will benefit everyone – and then take that decision into practical living – to stop doubting myself – to stop fearing what ifs – and just go for it – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop waiting within myself – and start acting – start actively changing within and without – making myself the creator of the decisions that I’ve made – owning my decisions – and owning my life – and creating/directing the life I want to have for myself in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my mind will throw up any and all kind of things when I make a decision to go into a direction that is not pre-programmed in myself – or in this world – and that thus I can’t expect the mind to support me in the decisions that I make – but I must stand as my own support – I must stand as my own rock – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make a decision and that build my house on a rock – which is myself – and realizing that I will never change myself when I’ve made the decision unless it’s not practical – and thus I move myself with the decision and get it done – and don’t expect any support from the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for myself to own my life – own my decisions – own my direction in life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly project myself into the future – and in the future create these various ideas of myself of what I am going to do and what I am not going to do – instead of taking that into physical – practical application HERE – to thus – stop waiting and bring into manifestation that which I see are keys for me to create the life that I want for myself – and the life that I want for everyone else – also understanding that the life I want for myself must be in alignment with the life of all – because when I only see and consider myself and my experience within it all – I am going to compromise myself and disempower myself – and abuse others with the excuse that I have free choice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s easy to slip back into the mind when I accept and allow certain points to not be directed – but instead to fester, grow and remain – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed it to take such a long time for me to get to this point – where I realize that I have to implement changes – that I have to move myself – and that I can’t accept and allow myself to anymore remain stagnant and immovable within me; and thus I commit myself to realize the importance of self-writing – of keeping myself in-check – where I see where I am going – what’s going on within me – and also realizing the importance of taking points to a conclusion – of opening up the reactions – and then going through them until I’m at a point of conclusion and I know what to do – where to go – and how to build and create my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I know what I have to do – that I’ve seen it clearly for myself for quite some time the direction I have to go into – and that this fear that has come up is in-fact merely resistance because the way before me is not pre-programmed – is not what I feel like doing – it’s not what I dreamed and hoped for me to do in this life – it’s instead hard work and it’s simply physical – practical living and application; and thus I commit myself to walk the path I see is set for myself – and create my life – walk through the resistance as fear and realize that I don’t require an energy of feeling good to move and motivate me in my life

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to stop the fear that I’ve accepted and allowed to run me and take me for rides in my mind – and in this I commit myself to own my decisions for my future – my life – and my world

I commit myself to stop waiting – both within and without – and instead of waiting – take active movement – active decision – to decide where I am going and what I must to do get there – and then start moving myself

I commit myself to integrate playfulness into my life – and stop making my life a series of routines that I do in order to survive – and instead make and create my life as an expression that is here for the benefit of everyone – as what is best for all

I commit myself to look at and apply solutions into my life as to how I am able to make the aspect of my life in relation to career/future/education more interesting and challenging – and thus I commit myself to stop fear – and instead push myself to live