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Day 364: Developing Self-Reliance

The most recurring experience as of late has been fear – mostly fear of survival. I have been working diligently with the point and made some notable progress, there is however still a lot to be walked. One aspect of the fear that I have yet to transcend is that of fearing authorities and superiors that in some way have power to effect my ability to survive. Because they are able to influence, for example, my access to money, the fear seems to be justified and reasonable when it arise. Obviously, I am aware that this is not the case, though the fact that this experience exists within me does reveal an interesting point; that there exist a hope/desire to be taken care of and supported by authorities.

If a negative experience exists, which in this case is fear, then a positive experience will exist as well, and in this case that positive experience is security and feeling backed. Hence, for me, authorities have become a means of substantiating my own lack of self-reliance.

Apart from forgiving the fear, the solution I see is to develop self-reliance. For example, that could be done through pushing myself to take active responsibility for my work and career – and not in anyway accept and allow myself to rely upon my employer to secure my influx of money – but to make sure that I am a effective, that my skills are superior, that I am professional and able to offer a service that is needed. Thus I take charge of my own self-creation, planning and access to money, and remove the variable, of needing my employer to stand behind me as a point of security.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely upon my superiors and authorities to handle my life for me – and to blame them when things does not go the way I want – and to feel good and love them when things do go the way that I want – instead of placing reliance back where it belongs – with myself – and thus making sure that I do live in such a way where I direct my life – I create my life – and where it is not about relying on someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being abandoned and judged by my superiors in fear of loosing my access to money and security, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to when I am able to please my superiors, to feel secure, safe and well cared for – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate within a polarity in relation to my superiors, and the system, where I on the one hand love it, and on the other, fear it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is to stand equal and one with and as the system, with and as my superiors, to understand that in order to be stable within me, I require to take full responsibility for myself, my future, and my direction, and my actions at work, and to make sure that I am walking and creating my life in such a way that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to be able to handle my own survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the system to deal with and secure my survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not strong enough, or developed enough, or ready yet to take responsibility for my survival – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a parent and someone to care for me in the system – to seek for someone to be there for me and show me the way – instead of me taking full responsibility for myself and the direction of and as my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define myself as inferior to the system, inferior to my employer, inferior to survival, and thus believe that I cannot rely on myself, but that I need the system to stand beside me and support me – to be there as a father figure for me because I am not able to do it by myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear developing a real and sound reliance within myself – where I do not assume that things will work out and be alright – but where I take the appropriate actions to ensure that I move myself in a direction that is best for me and others in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the system, my superiors, when things do not work out in relation to my survival, when I make mistakes, and fear arise, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that I have created the pattern within me, that I have made the decisions and that it has nothing to do with the system, my superiors, my employers – in-fact it is a pattern I have developed where I fear taking active responsibility for myself – and I place my reliance out there into something else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to care for me, to support me, to be there for me, and to make my life secure and easy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to make my life comfortable, to give my life direction, to move my life in the ‘right’ direction, to secure my life – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that money is in-fact a dead object – that it is not something that can save me and my future – that is something only I can do for myself – and thus fact is that money is a tool – something that I can use that support myself – however that support will only ever be as effective as I am within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to ensure my future, to rely on money to walk my process, to rely on money to take care of me, to rely on money to make things work for me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this belief that money will take care of everything – it is just that – a belief – and fact is that real security, real safety, real direction and care will only ever arise from my own decision and movement to stand as and live those words actively within and as my life

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into either a fear or desire towards money, within the context of the belief that money can care for me, money will solve all problems, money will support me, money will ensure security and safety, I take a breath, I stop myself, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this is an illusion that I have created for myself – that in-fact money is only as effective as I am within myself – and that if I am not clear – stable and directive – then money will not support me – and thus I commit myself to take back directive principle – to take charge of myself and my life and actively move myself to care for myself, to solve problems, to support me and to develop security and stability in my life – as who I am – and more concretely – I commit myself to do that through continuously pursuing to make the best of my life – to look for and act on opportunities when they do arise – to push my writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and my in the moment correction – to develop a stability that stands through the difficult times

When and as I see myself going into either a positive or a negative experience in relation to an event to concerns my superior, as either feeling safe, secure and cared for, or feeling that my survival is threatened, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this polarity within me indicates that I have not yet developed self-reliance and self-standing within me – in particular in relation to survival and money – and that I still want someone to care for me – and thus I commit myself to stop – to breathe and bring me back here – and instead – in the moment – look at how I am able to improve, expand, develop myself and move – how I can learn from mistakes to become more efficient in survival and moving myself in my reality – and what I can further strengthen and improve that already works – to thus take active charge of my self-development and utilize my failures and successes to guide me forward and to improve myself

 


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Day 341: Hierarchies and Money

Deeply embedded in the human conscious we find some strange ideas about life. One of these is the belief that earning a lot of money equals that we are valuable and important as a person. Money, and having a job, throughout the ages this has been the determining factor as to where in society we will be positioned/valued. If we are poor and have a job of no significance or importance, we will be considered as less valuable, and if the opposite is true, we will be an example for humanity to follow.

This brainwashing that we accepted and allowed has some pretty serious consequences. First off, we have a far to lenient approach to with regards to respect for property, and the right for each one of us to pursue our happiness. The fact is that we have a many that are too rich, and that horde, causing widespread poverty, because their money had to come from somewhere. And we cannot blame these rich, apparently successful people, because we have created them, and secretly, we all hope for the same thing, to hit the jackpot and that we will make some serious money. That is why we continue placing our respect in money, instead of respecting ourselves, and determining our value on the basis of how we live.

The interesting thing is that we have created a completely dysfunctional society, mostly because we are too busy creating our own lives, protecting and building our lives and utilizing money to do that, while not caring sufficiently about each-other – and instead of coming together to build a flowing society where all are cared for, we create enormous structures of control. Though the solution is not control, the solution is not more work, more education, the solution is that we as humanity come together, and look beyond our own personal interests – and see what we are able to create that is best for all.

This pattern of only looking at ourselves, it recurs again and again. A while ago I read an interesting article about coral bleaching. In the article it was discussed how massive coral bleaching had now reached the great barrier reef, and for those that do not know, coral bleaching is bad stuff for corals. What was interesting to note was that the Australian authorities had been aware of coral bleaching since the eighties, though because it had not reached the great barrier reef, no one had really taken note of the danger. Instead the Australian authorities had seen coral bleaching as someone else’s problem, simply because it was not there at the moment. And then, a couple of years later it happened, and now it was too late. And during all this time, the solution had been known, to decrease emissions of fossil fuels on a global level.

The insight here is that in a world that is connected in a multitude of ways, there is no such thing as someone else’s problem. When we have issues with the usage of fossil fuels creating inconsistent weather patterns, then we cannot think that only because those weather patterns are not yet threatening the piece of land we live on, that it is okay to continue a practice that is clearly creating consequences. Because any consequence in this world will directly or indirectly impact us. And this is one of the great things about globalization; we are now able to see with a lot more clarity how our actions ripple throughout the world – and how in a global economy – it is not possible to protect one’s own country from global instability.

Another striking example of we how we tend to only care for and consider ourselves is the refugee situation. Particularly in Sweden this is an interesting topic to explore. Because it is public knowledge that number one reason for people becoming displaced is war. And interestingly enough, Sweden has a big and prosperous arms industry, and it is ranked the third largest arms exporter per capita after Israel and Russia. In Sweden we have a lot of refugees and it has become a big problem. Thus we are now starting to see the consequences of our arms industry, as the victims of war is trying to create a safe life for themselves – and this consequence is now not only out there in some foreign country – no – it is right here at our porch.

Back to the issue of people being rich and poor. What I want to point out here is that when we accept and allow this extreme separation in society, between those that have made it, and those that have not, we are creating consequences, not only for those that are poor, but also for those that are rich. Poverty is a breeding ground for crime, diseases, lack of education, drug abuse, etc. If we want to have a life and society that is efficient and works for everyone, without unnecessary consequences, the acceptance of the rich and poor must be erased, and replaced with a motivation to care for all equally. It is not possible to control consequences, they will slip through the cracks, as is the case with the refugees. Consequences must be prevented at their roots, the original issue must be directed, else we will end up going in circles.

And why do we still hold unto this archaic and dysfunctional model of society? Why have we not changed? Because we do, secretly or overtly, want to hold unto to our current societal set-up, where we have a chance of becoming successful, earning a lot of money, and apparently becoming someone that is important. We still want to win and be rewarded for it. However, it is possible to compete and become successful even though such expressions and processes are not linked to property, money, and wealth. Optimally, competition and success should be used as bait, and motivation, for us to become better as people – so that we are able to realize our full potential in this life and share that with others.

The solution I see is the follow: We stop seeing money as the determining factor for value and worth, and instead make sure that money is a tool, something we utilize to practically create our lives, but where it is has no deeper importance or meaning – it is just money. And also to stop our fears when it comes to money, to as such make sure that we stop accepting and allowing ourselves to horde money, saving it ‘for a rainy day’ or to have ‘more money’. We have to earth our relationship with money and make it PRACTICAL.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value money more than people – and believe that it is money that makes the man

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify and hold unto the idea that a rich person is better than a poor person – and strive to achieve wealth so that I can feel better than others – not seeing, realizing and understanding that money is simply a practical point – something that we require to survive – however not something that defines our character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hold unto a society where we are allowed to pursue our happiness regardless of the consequences it creates in the lives of others – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how I am in-fact, creating unconsciously, a system that is not best for all, a system of hierarchies, because I want to feel like a winner, and for winner to exist we must also have losers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can become better buy having more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am winning buy having more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better than others when I have more money than them – or a better education

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more important than others because I have a education that could potentially allow me to earn a lot of money – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this belief that money makes the man – and that it is through getting more money that I can prove myself in this world system – and show that I am of equal value in comparison with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others when it comes to money and earning potential – and feel inferior to those that earn more than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others when it comes to money and earning potential – and feel superior to those that earn less than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of valuing people and things according to their monetary value – instead of seeing all that is here as equals – all made of the same matter and coming from the same source

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a inner system of evaluation where money is the most important factor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want to have a system of competition where the participants is evaluated according to money – so that I have chance of winning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am creating long-term consequences by accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how my inner relationship with money, is connected to what is happening in the world system – and is connected to how points are currently functioning and operating on a bigger scale – where there is a huge competition in relation to money – and no common sense – where it is seen as justified and okay for one person to own as much money as an entire country – and where poverty, malnutrition, and all other consequences of not having money is then apparently okay

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an inner money system where it is seen as justified and acceptable to have a system of competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify competition within me as good – because apparently it brings out the best in people – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it in-fact does not bring out the best in people – but rather brings out the most shit in people – where we will do anything and everything to survive and win – and those any integrity and self-respect will go out the window

Self-commitment statements

When and as I become possessed with positive, or negative feelings in relation to money, where I compare myself to others, and see myself as either superior, or inferior, depending on whether I have more or less money than them, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand how this way of viewing and defining myself limits me, and that it creates consequences on a global level, because I am part in, and participating in a system of competition, where one of the consequences is poverty, thus I commit myself to stop – and to value me and others according to what we do to bring through a world that is best for all – according to our purpose and reason for existing in this world – as to what we give to this world as a whole

I commit myself to develop value as myself through giving to this world – living a life of purpose where I am giving of myself to create a better reality and world for everyone – and where I am thus practically living the word value – and not only relating value to an attempt to acquire and earn more money to feel better than others


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Day 267: Work and Money Fears

What I have noticed is that the work environment is very much associated with fears and anxieties, because within this environment, you are valued, judged, and ranked on the basis of your actions or non-actions. Your livelihood is dependent upon these reactions being positive – and when they are not – for some reason or another – fear will arise.

In my work I recently had an evaluation with my employer – and some of the things that was said made me wonder about whether I am not making a good impression on my environment – and whether I am being disliked and whether people talk behind my back. Obviously, these are only assumptions, since nothing was said to me directly, so I will not focus my writings on that, but rather on the emotions that came up within me, because this backchat started to move in my mind: ‘What are others really thinking about me?’

The emotions that came up I would describe as being a deep seated, churning anxiety, mixed together with embarrassment, and inferiority – and also a fear of the future. These experiences were mixed together in what felt like a ball rooted deep down in my chest/solar plexus area. My response to this experience was to start to think out ways in which I am able to ameliorate this damage that I perceived has already been done in my life. I began to make up various decisions, and directions that I could take, that would have people like me more – all of these ‘solutions’ obviously not valid – because what is the actual problem here? The problem is that I am reacting, and basically, that I am existing in a state of self-preservation and fear, instead of self-expression, and stability, and awareness of myself as life in every moment of breath – because that is what should be me directive principle, and what I stand by in every moment.

Hence, I find it cool that this point opened up. In a way it is similar to school, and how we during this time in our life‘s are very worried about what others think about us, who is popular and who isn’t – and what happens? No or very little focus is placed on actually studying. Same thing happens in the job environment – so much focus is placed on being liked, on fitting in, on doing a good job ‘for others’ – that no or little time is spent on actually doing, developing and progressing within one’s work.

What I see as a solution is to see, realize and understand, that what is most important is that I am satisfied in the work that I produce, that I push myself to be a effective, working cog in the machinery that is the organization for which I work. The focus must be on serving and standing one and equal with the group of people that make up the work environment, because there are a lot of people relying on the services, and products of this particular organization. The focus must be on me remaining self-honest, and placing my focus on what is actually important – and what is important is to be a supportive, reliable, and trustworthy colleague, that not only contributes to the organization, but that goes the extra mile to make work and the products produced extraordinary – a colleague that actually cares.

When the focus is to please others, to be liked, appreciated, and feel good, can there then be any genuine passion, care and devotion to ones work/labor? No – it will all be done to please others, and in this self-expression will vanish, and what will be left is a empty shell – someone that acts as if he cares, but it is all for show.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as a reaction of fear and anxiety when I believe that others might dislike me, and not want me around them, because they do not see and perceive me as being a particularly good worker, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted nad allowed myself to make my focus to be about others, instead of me remaining here with and as my human physical body, and me remembering WHO I AM – and WHERE I AM GOING – and what it is that I am doing here – where it is obvious that I am not here to be liked and to please others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my priority when it comes to work, and labor is to become liked by others, and to be appreciated by others, and to have a cool, and comfortable experience with others, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that when I am at work, my priority is not to please, but to in self-honesty, walk and create the best work that I can produce – because I see that this is my responsibility and what my purpose within work in-fact is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become worried, and fearful that I am not living up to the expectations of others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume, and try to create the idea of what expectations others might have upon me, and within this also believe that my security in life is dependent upon others liking me, and me living up to their expectations, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that my focus should instead be HERE – me standing clear within myself and performing my work because I see that this is what is best for all – that I stand as an example for others as well in terms of what it means to care for – and really, genuinely, do ones work with pride and integrity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with work, where my relationship is defined within the emotions of fear, worry, and anxiety, and the purpose within my work is self-preservation, and self-interest – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I can change this relationship to work, and also within this understand that what is important to direct in my work environment, is my responsibilities and commitments within my work, and not being liked and having others react positively to my presence and awareness – and thus I commit myself to make work something that exists within me as a responsibility, as a commitment, as something that I walk and express for and as myself – where I work according to my self-honesty with the purpose to create and produce the best work possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that work as been corrupted in the mind of humans to be about self-preservation, self-interest, and desire, when it could instead be genuine self-expression, when work could become that point in each human beings life, where we strive to perfect ourselves, our expression and live our fullest potential – and thus I commit myself to redefine work – to see that work can become that point in my life where I push myself to excel and become the best that I can be – where I push myself to become effective and an example as to what it means to live with integrity and truly care, and be passionate about the work one produce and create

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I accept and allow my main priority in life to be what others think about, I miss the fact that there is a lot more important things to be aware of, to tend to, and to make part of my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that one of these things that are so very important, is for me to express myself, and to actually care for others, and give to others as I’d like to receive – I mean – isn’t that a far more important thing to focus on than what others think about me? And thus I commit myself to realize that what others think about me is pointless – because what matters is WHO I AM in-fact – and that only I know – and thus I commit myself to live the best version of myself possible – and to develop actual genuine care towards other human beings – and real genuine integrity and passion to give – so that I can stand as an example of what it means to make work someone more than only being about money, self-preservation and self-interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution to fear is living care, and giving as I’d like to receive – to not anymore place all focus on ME, and what I want, and what I have, but to see that there is a lot more to life than ME – and thus place my focus on others – to open myself up and expand myself to take others into consideration – and to care for others as I would for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution to fear is caring for other others and more than only myself, and my life – and thus I commit myself to expand my sphere of care and include others in my world – and be/act/live towards/with them as I would for myself – and thus I commit myself to practice in my daily living – implementing and living care/consideration/giving

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into fear and anxiety in relation to work, in relation to what others think of me, and value me, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that the solution to transcending this fear is to start caring, considering, and giving to others as I would for myself – that the solution is to expand my sphere of consideration to include others as equals to me – and thus I commit myself to practice having others within me – and when I make decisions, when I live and move myself throughout my day – to have in my heart – all other participants and members of life – and thus not live but for me – but for all

When and as I see myself going into fear, and embarrassment, because I perceive and think that I am not being liked around others, and that I give off a strange, and uncomfortable vibe, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that fear is a product of self-interest, and thus I can change this through turning my attention to how I can assist and support others and be of a genuine service to others – and thus I commit myself to take this into my awareness in my daily living – asking myself – how can I be off service to life – and assist and support others to stand up and live as their fullest potential

Day 166: Wasting or Saving Time?

I will write about time, and my future today – in particular the fear of wasting my time.

So, today the following occurred, my partner asked me to assist her in removing a tick from one of our cats, and I said yes – but within me I was reluctant, and I didn’t really want to do it – the reason being: I felt as if this project of removing the tick was a waste of my time, the time I could’ve instead used to make sure I survive – doing ‘important’ work things.

The same point of fear of wasting time comes up when I decide to go out for a walk to support my body, or practice pilates in order to support my back – I fear that I am wasting my time, because each and every second of my day isn’t spent at making sure that I survive and that I make a living for myself.

It’s interesting, because due to my fear of wasting time, that stems back to fear of survival, I will compromise points in my life that supports my body, and thus my survival, such as going out for a walk, cooking a wholesome meal for myself, or taking care of my body – and I will as well compromise the wellbeing of others, such as the wellbeing of my cat, because I feel that it’s a waste of time to spend some moments removing a tick.

What is wasting time? Isn’t wasting time not using time properly? I mean, using my time to do something that isn’t for money, that can’t be wasting my time – that’s rather using my time, but doing something else with my time than protecting my continued survival in the system. Thus, the definition of wasting time, I’ve currently connected to the point of wasting money, loosing money, and not getting ahead in the system, but that’s not a clear and common sense definition of wasting time. An effective definition of wasting time is rather, to spend time in my mind, thinking, fearing, worrying, or feeling – being separate from my body and my world, and reality that is here – that is the very essence of wasting time – that is to say: not being PRESENT and HERE with myself in time, and with time. Thus, the most important point is not WHAT I do with my time, but WHO I am within what I do with my time, because that is the point that has real weight, and answers the question as to whether I am wasting my time or not.

Though, its obvious that I do require to spend time on survival, and money, because without that, my life can’t function – though – I see that this point doesn’t have to be walked in a state of stress and fear, that unless I am spending time on survival, I am wasting my time – Instead I can look at what requires to be done, how much time it will take, and then do it – then when I am done, I am done, and I’ve thus used my time to direct my responsibilities, and I can move on and use my time for other purposes.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value my time according to how much money I am able to make in that time, or how many skills I am able to develop within that time that will allow me to make money, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define to value of myself and my life according to money, and believe that unless I spend my time on making money, or pushing myself to survive in this world, than this is time that I’ve wasted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly think about how I am spending my time, and whether, or whether not I am spending my time wisely, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this constant questioning comes from within and as a anxiety, and fear of wasting my time, wasting my life, and not doing or creating something productive or visible with my life, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I don’t need and require this constant anxiety, that I can instead simply look at what requires to be done, and organize, and plan my life to suit what requires to be moved, and then move the points accordingly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this anxiety exists within me, because I perceive that I am not doing enough, that I am not creating, or moving enough, and that I must do more in order for me to be effective, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself what it is that I am able to do, and whether I am doing what I can, or whether I can do more, instead of accepting and allowing this worry, and fear to remain on a abstract level, where I just feel like I am not doing enough, but wherein I haven’t actually schematized for myself exactly how I am using my time, and also asked myself, what I want to use my time for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that to give myself time, to for example watch a movie, or go outside and take a walk, that is not a waste of time, because giving myself such a point, I am actually nurturing and supporting myself, and strengthening myself to be able to walk, and stand, and continue to apply myself in this process – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not decide for myself what I want to do, how much I want to contribute, where I want to contribute, and how I want to design, and create my life, and accordingly my a schedule for each day of the week, so that there is no anxiety, there is no fear, because I know what to do, I know what to spend my time on, and there is no questions about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a fear that I will not have enough time to spend on my business that I am walking, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a fear of wasting time, and fear that I don’t have enough time to put into my business, and due to this, my business will not move forward, and I will not be able to create anything for myself, in my life, because there is no money coming in, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as fear in relation to this point, instead of accepting and allowing myself to plan how much time I am to give to my business, to plan how much time I am to give to my process, to be specific, and make some decisions within myself, so that there needs to be no worry, because I know what I am doing, and I know how I am doing it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this fear of wasting time, and this anxiety I experience, is actually very undefined, and I realize that it partly arises because I haven’t given myself a clear direction, and defined for myself what it is that I want to complete, and create, and move each and every day, and each and every week, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make clear directives for myself as to what it is that I want to create in this life, and then structure my time accordingly, and in my schedule, make room for me-time – where I for example go out and walk, and also make room for others in my life to come through, room for me helping and assisting them, room for being social, room for writing, and as such create my schedule and life in balance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a resistance towards helping my partner to take care of the cats, because I experience such a help to be a waste of time, something that will eat up much of my day – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this signifies, and shows, that I am in that moment possessed with and as stress, and with and as fear, and I see, realize and understand that no harm will come to what I am doing, or participating within, if I take five or ten minutes, to assist and support my partner with the cats – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be flexible with my schedule, to when I’ve decided to do something, also be able to stop doing that thing, and do something else, when that is required, without it causing fear or anxiety within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and define helping my partner with taking care of the cats as being less important, and less valuable than me doing my studies, or me spending time on my business, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create these ideas, and perceptions of myself, and time, wherein I see time as this elusive and hard-to-catch manifestation, that I require to constantly have my eye on, and push myself to use as effectively as I am able to, because if I don’t, it will run away, and disappear in the cracks between my fingers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to fight to hold unto time, and exist within and as a fear of loosing time, wherein I believe that if I stop fighting, and if I stop struggling trying to keep in time, then I am going to loose myself, and loose my effectiveness, and loose my momentum, and my life will come to halt, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, and bring myself back here, and realize that time is here in every moment, that time is not something that I am able to loose, or miss, or squander, because it’s here – I simply have to decide to live HERE with and as time, and direct myself in common sense, in time – and as such stopping to look, or trying to save time – but instead live within and as the time I am given HERE

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into stress, anxiety, worry or fear about the future, about my time, and that I am not using it effectively enough to stabilize myself in my life, and get my business, and other projects going, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that time is HERE, that time is not a elusive construct that I require to find, and save, and catch, and make sure it doesn’t run away – and as such I commit myself to take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body, and stabilize myself HERE – and walk HERE one and equal with time, and instead of fearing that I don’t use my time, direct myself as time – to make sure that I am living within directive decisions and that I am not living in fear of loosing time, or in worry that I am not doing enough

I commit myself to clearly define the goals of my life, to clearly define the priorities of my life, so that there exists no room for second-guessing, so that there exists no room for fear, or doubt, or anxiety, but that I know what I am doing, and why I am doing it, and how I am doing it

2012 Family Law and the Nature of Marriage Revealed

I’m at the moment studying family law, and more specifically marriage law, and within this I’ve found some interesting and revealing points about marriage, as what the nature of marriage actually exists as.

Now the most revealing point as to what marriage in-fact is, because it’s not at all about love as you’ll come to see, is found within the structure of the marriage law. It consists of about 20 chapters, each containing some 10 paragraphs, and of these 20 chapters almost half of them is about the topic of how money is to be divided between the partners when they break up, and how the partners should support each-other with money, if for example one of them has been at home with the kids a lot, and as such by the time of the break up, do not have a education, or a stable income. Most of the law is as such regulating the point of how money should be divided, and shared between the partners – both in marriage, and as well when the marriage is broken up. This is revealing, because it shows that the actual point as to why people go into a marriage is not because they love each other, or care for each other, but because of the financial security it provides.

It’s also fascinating to see that lot’s of the regulations that exists in and around this topic of money is about how one of the partners is able to protect their personal wealth from being given to the other partner if the marriage would end.

What does then show?

It shows that even though it’s in this world promoted that marriage is about love, and care for each-other – it’s in essence a mechanism of survival – wherein two beings come together to as such have a financial stability. The marriage law reveals the true nature of why, and how we form relationships, and why continue to be in these relationships, and what is in-fact controlling our decisions in terms of who we select as our partner, and how we behave when we break up with our partner – it’s all about the fear of survival, which is expressed as the fear of loosing money, and the desire to have more money.

Desteni has pointed this out several times, that the physical relationships we form in our world, are almost never about anything else than our survival, and that the curvy women will seek out the males that has the most money, as such compromising themselves in order to survive; ending up with a male that they might not even enjoy to be with, only because of the point of assuring a consistent and continuous influx of money.

There is as such no real love in this world, there is only fear, and the attempt by people to escape this fear, as this gruesome and brutal reality through forming relationships, through marrying and promising each-other to financially support each other to the day that they die. That isn’t a cool starting point from which to form a actual, supportive and beneficial relationships – it’s instead a starting point from which will flow compromise, seclusion and isolation – as we give up ourselves to our fears, and live out our life’s in complete prettification of what would happen if we’d one day be without money.

Those that profess love, light and happiness – and the movies that presents the dream of the perfect marriage, are in-fact the representation of how we within ourselves lie to ourselves, as we think that what we do, and who we decide to be with – we’re doing from the starting point of love – and that we within all of this are happy; when in-fact and in actuality we making our decisions from a starting point of fear of survival and nothing else.

Within forming these marriages, we might for a while be able to escape our fears, and for a moment attain financial stability, and we as such feel safe and secure – yet the cause, and origin of our fear isn’t ever dealt with or directed, but left as it is – and this cause and origin of our fears is found in how our current money system functions.

Our current money system is a brutal monster, that allows for no one to live for what they actually love – as what we for example find immensely pleasurable doing, or being with a person that we find expand our application of ourselves, and make us more effective in daily living; no in order to exist in this reality, all decisions that are made must be made from within and as the consideration of money, no one can as such live “for themselves” as in exploring who they actually are, and how they in-fact experience themselves, as all this must be given up in order to survive.

We’ve created a system that only supports the fear of survival, as the result of not having enough money in this current system will have the consequence of death – without money you’re nothing – no food – no home – no security – no nothing – how can we then even expect that there is supposed to be any real love in this world? There can’t be.

To form marriages is but a escape, a small and isolated, secluded group-experience within this world, wherein we for a moment feel that we can relax – at the cost of giving all of ourselves up, as who we actually are – but it’s no solution. It’s not a solution because the children born in the marriage will face the same problem that the parents faced as they came of age, and realized that without finding a partner in this world, they would be far more vulnerable to the ruthlessness of our current money system, and as such the children will eventually come to follow in the footsteps of their parents, as in compromising themselves for money, in order to survive.

This entire world is the outflow of each of us individually compromising ourselves in order to survive, wherein we suppress ourselves, our individual self-expression, and we abandon our integrity, and our principles, just so that we can feel safe and survive. And because no one is willing to stand up, and face their fears, and to walk into the system alone, and bring forth a solution that would finally remove the very origin of our fears, as our fear of not having enough money to survive – the world remains at is it has remained during generations before us.

Though, we can’t let this go on any longer – human beings can’t continue to suppress, hide, and devalue themselves through accepting and allowing fear to be their god. Within accepting and allowing fear to be our god we give up upon so much, we in-fact give up upon everything, because we give up upon ourselves.

Let’s stop for a second to imagine how this world would be if money wouldn’t anymore be a issue, ask yourself the question what you would do if money wouldn’t anymore be the key to your survival, because you survival would be unconditionally given to you, and not only your survival, but all that which you need and require to really live, and become the best that you can be; would you still be living the same life? Would you still be in the same marriage? Would you still work at the same job?

See how much we are in-fact slaves – yet the slavery from past times is now only made to be more hidden, more deceptive, wherein the illusions of love, freedom, and happiness are chanted again, and again, and again, only to seclude ourselves from the obvious truth – that we’re in-fact slaves!

The proof that you’re a slave rests with your money, that is your chain, but it’s also the key – because when we change the nature of money, from always lacking, to there always being plentiful of it, for everyone in equal amounts, then suddenly we’ve made our chain into a supportive foundation upon which we’re able to stand, and explore this reality, and ourselves in this reality, living the question of who we’d like to be, and how we’d like to experience ourselves in this life, without any fear lurking in the back of our minds.

See – without money you’re nothing – and with money you’re able to fulfill all your dreams – as such realize the simplicity of the solution as implementing a new money system in this world, as a equal money system – wherein you would be given all the money you require, to buy for yourself all that which you need and require to live a perfect life. This would change everything, exactly everything – and suddenly we’d have no more marriages being formed from the starting point of fear of survival, but we’d instead have agreements being formed as a self-willed decision by two individuals to walk with and support each other in this life, to become the best that they’re able to be.

The marriage law reveals the nature of this reality, as fear of survival, which has the outflow of us compromising ourselves into relationships built upon fear – yet the marriage law also shows us the solution to our problems – it’s all about money – all about giving all that which they require in order to live effectively.

So – let’s not become trapped in our fears, and seek to continue the legacy of our parents, as in seeking out a partner in order to survive and escape from our fear – but let’s see to it that we manifest a world, and a reality that is best for all – where all have all that they require and need, so that we never again place ourselves in a position where we make a decision out of fear of survival, as the fear of not having enough money.

Sex in Relationships

Sex also plays a part in who we experience ourselves attracted to, and decide to create a relationship with – you can learn more on that topic through listening to this:

How Taxi Drivers are Murdered by Money

I’ve some time ago decided to make a salary as a taxi-driver. This led me to study for the tests that all taxi-drivers must pass in order to receive their taxi-drivers license.

Now, I managed to pass my tests – yay! But this is not why I am writing this article. What I instead want to expose is some of the known behaviors of man in relation to driving-accidents, which revealed to me as I studied for the tests. It’s about traffic-accidents in relation to the unavoidable need of all humans to sleep.

See – in my study-books I could read the following: “Tiredness might be the cause in more than 40% of all cases of accidents with a deadly outcome on the highway. In other types of accidents the ratio is lower, but as a sole reason for accidents, tiredness is still much prevalent.”

Further you can read: “Sleepiness in many professions causes the possibility for a accident to double. With professional-drivers and similar groups of people the possibility that a accident might happen rise up to 15 to 20 times.”

I mean, check these numbers out, especially the last one’s. That the possibility of an accident rises 15 to 20 times for professional-drivers, directly in relation to tiredness, is nothing to joke around about. And if you have ever worked the night-shift, you know that around 3-5, all that you want to do is sleep, and that it takes a effort of will to remain awake – that is not good news if you travel at 90 m/ph on a highway; because if you fall asleep, you and others might be in the danger zone of dying, or possibly become paralyzed for the rest your of life’s.

Still, knowing these numbers, we send out our taxi-drivers in the middle of the night, when we are well aware that the human physical body is designed to sleep in the nighttime. Why are we doing this? Why are our politicians allowing this? I mean, in Sweden our politicians have placed a goal that no one should be paralyzed or killed in the traffic – no one – and it’s called the zero-vision. How the fuck can you possibly fulfill that vision when you send out people in the traffic, driving several tons of steel, not being fully awake? I mean, it’s a proven scientific fact that if you are asleep and drive a car, you won’t drive your car very well – actually you’ll drive your car like shit – so bad in-fact that you’ll with all likelihood kill yourself and others.

Then why aren’t we stopping our taxi-drivers and other professional drivers from committing suicide on our roads? Well, my friend, I’ll tell you why, we live in a fucked up money system! See – we force people to do the most stupid things – such as sacrificing their life – to have them make money – because if anyone finds himself or herself without money in this world – man – they are simply fucked!

So, are we murderers? Are our politician’s murderers?  Yes – by implication they are – we are all murderers because we’ve accepted and allowed this system to continue. We sacrifice people in all kinds of stupid ways only to make sure that we get that juicy green gold at the end of the day – not questioning – not challenging – whether we actually need to have this current money system and whether we actually need to live the way we live!

No one, no matter what his crime, should be forced to go out and drive a car in the middle of the night when there are scientifically proven facts that this will increase his or hers likelihood of being involved in an accident – that is simply unacceptable! Everyone deserves to live a life wherein they are safe from physical harm – wherein they are never in anyway forced to compromise their physical wellbeing in order to survive.

For this to become a reality we need a new system, as our current system do not accept and allow such laws to be implemented, as our current system is completely dependent upon money. So, research equal money, as this is the solution – wherein all people will be treated with respect and care – and as such we will finally be able to implement the zero-vision for real – wherein no human being will be harmed, die or be paralyzed in the traffic – or anywhere else for that matter!

Investigate – equal money for all!

Facts taken from: Svenska Taxiförarförbundet, Taxiförarlegitimation – en självstudiekurs, 2010:1