Tag Archives: ease

Day 313: When Work Becomes A Lifestyle

In certain professions and career paths there exist this norm, an accepted and even idealized trait, that you should work a lot – that it is good to work a lot – that you will expand and bloom if you work a lot. It is a interesting way of looking at life and there are many examples of this in modern TV-series. Let us look at the series Suits for example. Here we have two guys, pulling long hours each day, working, hanging out with their colleagues, and on their free-time, which is sparse, they either plan what they are going to do at work later, or worry about things that have or that might go wrong at work.

I have myself managed to end up in one of these career paths where there is a majority that view work as an ideal and it has only been recently that I have started to question this way of life, and in that asking myself – why is it that I see working a lot as something to strive for? And looking deeper at this point, I have seen that it is not so much about the work in itself, instead what moves and drives me to put in long hours is a mix of fears, desires, and also, some genuine expressions of MOVEMENT and EXPANSION. There is in-fact a genuine urge to improve, to go further, to enhance,  and to reach perfection. However, there is one important point that is missed in all of this, and I assume it is something that has become programmed into us from birth, it is that I do not see that in ALL parts of my life there are opportunities to push for perfection.

Hence, why is it that I only choose to push and will myself to go further at my work and not for example, with the same fervency and passion, in my own inner process of self-change? Or in my daily living chores, such as cooking, cleaning, washing, doing my hair, cleaning myself, etc? What I have seen is that this drive does not exist the same way, because in my personal life, there is no reward, there is no MONEY at the end of the line, there is no boss approving my work, no colleague telling me that I am doing good, there is no STIMULUS that moves me to push myself. This is obviously a extensive limitation, and a misalignment that causes me to put in too much time at work, creating a unbalance between my personal life of leisure and responsibility, and my professional life of survival in the world system.

What I have seen that I want to create in my life in order to correct this point is a balance between my leisure life and my professional life – and also – to remind myself each day that my private leisure life is also VERY important  – because it is here that I am able to pursue interests and push points that are not at this stage accepted as a part of the working system. Such as for example, giving time and effort to the DIP courses that I am walking, or pushing myself to write more for myself, do more blogs, and when the time is there, do vlogs – and also to give myself time to investigate the current functioning of the system.

What I want to share with this blog is the importance of remembering ourselves, that it is not about what we do in the system, who remembers us, how much money we earn, or what legacy we leave behind – at the end of the day it is about WHO WE ARE – and that point of self-creation is not limited to working. In-fact, for us to expand, to become multifaceted, skilled and learned in all parts of living, we have to give ourselves time to do other things but working.

And due to this point opening up, I have begun to observe myself more intently those days when I remain at the office long after working hours – and I have seen that my experience in those moments is slightly charged and elevated, it has become an addiction to work past the clock, and even though I have handled all the responsibilities that are required, I still sit there and continue – because I do not feel like stopping. It is thus in these moments that I have begun to apply the correction of taking a deep breath, slowing down, and asking myself: ‘Do I really need to sit here and work past the clock today?’ – and then if I answer that question with a self-honest NO – I pack up my things and leave for the day.

And related to this, I wish to share something that I read: It was an article about an old man who was nearing his retirement, and he look at the new generations, and said it looked like we were all running a 100 meter race, running as fast as we could to create as much as possible. He said that actually, life, and work, is like a marathon, and to reach the end you have to retain a balance in your life. If you use up all your energy in the first kilometers, you are going to be too tired to finish. And that is insightful and it also the solution to career, to work, and actually, to most points in life – walk with moderation – balance – and see that if but one thing becomes our complete life – then we are going to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We need to have variety in our lives in order to be functional and effective. And here is then the irony, that the more balance we have, the more effective and productive we will be when we do sit down to work – because then we have a clear and rested mind and a rejuvenated and replenished body.

Day 129: What Happens When I Exercise?

Today I did some exercising, and in doing that I applied the techniques, and methods shared in this (https://eqafe.com/p/exercising-your-quantum-mind-with-clarity-quantum-mind-self-awareness) Eqafe Interview. What is suggested is to when exercising, to be aware of where it is the mind moves, what thoughts comes up, what backchats, what images and fantasies, because these are specific points that the mind will attempt to strengthen.

When I did my exercising I noticed that my thoughts were primarily going towards two points, and the one of these was work, career, and money – and the other was sex. More specifically, the work and career point circled around education, and I could see how I was planning for the future in my mind, trying to calculate what would be the best option, and route for me to go. In regards to the sex point, it was more specifically around the point of ‘trying to find satisfaction’ – wherein my backchat was going to various problems I experience in relation to sex, and sexuality, and in that blaming other persons, eventualities, and life in general, for my experience of myself within and as sex.

Thus, the subsequent text is dedicated to self-forgiveness and self-commitment statements on the first of these mentioned points.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan and calculate in my mind what education I should take, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that these ‘planning thoughts’ are not self-directed, and that the origin of these thoughts are in-fact fear – as fear of the future – fear of the unknown – fear of survival – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not trust myself that regardless of the choice of education I make – that I will deal with the situation that arise and find a solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in my education, instead placing trust in myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in money, and to place trust in the system, instead of placing trust in myself – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire the system, money, and education to live my life for me – and hope that all will be well as long as I walk these points somewhat satisfactorily

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that education, money, and the system are but tools that I am able to utilize in creating myself and my life – yet the primary responsibility always lies with me – and as such I see, realize and understand that trust must be placed within me – because I will be the point that stands and face and walk through my life – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I place trust outside of myself, I am creating, and generating anxiety, and fear, because I will attempt and try to control that point outside me, all the while knowing, that this particular point can’t be controlled, and can’t be mastered

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasize, dream and imagine about having the perfect career, and the perfect education, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to into this dream, and symbol of the perfect life, project an experience of calm, serenity, and security, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order for me to live these words as calm, serenity, and security, I must have an education, I must have a job, I must have an income, I must have this shining, bright, and promising future – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ve within this separated myself from the words of calm, serenity, and security

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strive to live stability, and to strive to feel calm, serene, and secure in my life through attempting and trying to attain the perfect career – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am limiting myself through believing that in order for me to live a life of serenity, calm and security, I must have a career, I must be hired by someone and have a job, have a family, and have a house, with a dog – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to make each moment an expression of myself wherein I decide to relax my body, to let go of that fear, and anxious and allow myself to FEEL and BE here with this moment, and as such live serenity, security, and calm – as me being serene here – fully present in this moment – as me being securely stabilized within and as my physical awareness and presence here, as me being calm and physically relaxed, not accepting and allowing any form of mind participation in myself – but that I am instead fully here – fully with the present moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how a career, and how money, and how property can’t give me what I desire, because the fact is that attempting and trying to reach these points in life is only an attempt to suppress the inherent point of fear of survival that exists within all human beings, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not deal with, and correct the origin point which makes me go into these dreams and fantasies, which is fear of survival, fear of the unpredictable, fear of a sudden death, fear of a unpredictable death, fear of not being able to foresee my coming life and plan it to fit my desires

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand that fear of survival is what makes me not live in the first place, thus living my life within and as fear of survival is equal and one to not living at all, thus it’s really quite ironic to fear for one’s survival while one don’t even live in the first place – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the focus, and importance of my life to actually learn to live – to actually learn to appreciate and be grateful for this physical world and the moment to moment living that it exists within and as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the perfect career will not save me from my own fear, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my survival, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my future, and to fear for my continued existence in this world, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life to be all about fear, and believing that I require to protect myself from this fear, and build my life as a wall trying to remove, and separate myself from this fear – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the simplicity of forgiving the fear, of letting go of the fear, of simply not accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by and as fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that fear is a human creation, that fear is not natural, it’s not something that should exist within me, it’s rather something that I’ve accepted, and something that I’ve allowed to grow within me, to the point of complete possession, and complete control – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remove these plants of fear within me, realizing that there is nothing in this world that can save me from fear, there is no career, no house, no salary, no future, no partner, no love, no child, no family that can save me from myself and my own self-created hell – as fear – and as such I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to understand that when fear comes up within me – the solution is to STOP participating – to FORGIVE and let go – and not to try to protect myself from it through in my mind building the apparent ‘perfect’ protected life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I look at the future, and I look at various possibilities, as what I might do, or not do, to go into fear, and to fear that I will select and walk the wrong possibility, the possibility that will not lead me to a protected, safe, and guarded life, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how there is no protected, secure, and guarded life, how there is in reality only the physical here – and this world and it’s nature is completely unpredictable – and as such I am in effect not able to protect myself – and as such the solution is not to build a secure future for myself – but to release myself from this possession of fear that I’ve accepted and allowed within me – and to instead push and will myself to embrace the future – and walk into the unknown – trusting myself that I will be able to deal with the situations that arise

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am going into fear of the future, and I begin to project, dream and fantasize about the perfect life, the perfect future, the secure, stable, and easy future that will make me feel so grounded, serene, and calm – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I realize that there is no future that can save me from myself – and there is not future that is a solution to fear – because fear is self-generated – self-created – self-willed – and as such I commit myself to BREATHE and to live HERE within and as the physical – and be physically calm and relaxed with my body – stable in my breathing – and as such practically live the words serenity, calm, and security – here within and as my human physical body as myself – and as such let go of the projection of these words apparently being out there in some form of career

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I Want Everyone To Like Me!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a character of fear, and anxiety when I start school – as fearing to meet new people – as fearing to make myself look inadequate and stupid in-front of new people – worrying that my reputation, and how others talk about me might become negative – instead of accepting and allowing myself to let go of all fears, and express myself here as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and fear that I am not being seen enough, and by a sufficient amount of people – and that I as such will be forgotten, and not be popular – but be one of those people that nobody see – and nobody know – existing within and as a character of being a socialite – wherein I want to know that others know about me – in fear that unless others know about me I will be useless – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about how others see me, or interpret me – and instead live HERE one and equal as my human physical body – and see, realize and understand that when I exist up there in my head in worry and fear – I am missing out on precious breathing moments here with myself – as physical moments of interaction here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as worry, and fear of introducing myself to other people – and exist within and as fear and fear – then when I meet other people that they will instantly dislike me, and decide that they do not want to be with me – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about how I am perceived in social contexts – and instead accept and allow myself to move myself here with breath – to participate without thoughts – with self-interest – as defining me as someone that apparently needs a certain social setting to be comfortable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live and apply myself as the self-independence and self-reliance that I’ve observed in cats – as cats have the ability to move from one environment to the other – and interact with new beings – without the slightest worry and fear that they will be disliked by the beings with which they participate – as the are totally self-reliant, and live self-independence here – not requiring or needing any form of validation or comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I meet new people, and find myself in situations of interacting/speaking with other human beings – to go into and as the fear that I will not be accepted – and start to think about what value and worth I have in relation to other human beings – and where I am placed within and as the “social hierarchy” that I’ve made up in my mind – not seeing, realizing and understanding that all of my experience – all of my ideas are not real – they are merely interpretations that I’ve superimposed unto this physical reality – instead of living and applying myself here – ONE and EQUAL as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk myself as a fake-face – as accepting and allowing myself to speak in a fake voice – to speak as being fake interested in others – to speak as being fake excited, or worried – or annoyed with certain points in my world – only in order to get into a group, and get to be recognized by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop when I see that I am speaking and interacting from within and as a starting point of wanting to be accepted and validated by a group of people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the technique of complaining – and gossiping about certain points in my world, and reality – in order to create relationships with other beings – so that I will not feel alone, and left-out – instead of bringing myself back here to this physical reality – and walking myself one and equal as the physical – seeing, realizing and understanding that I can’t ever be secluded – or left-out – as I am here as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others that express themselves more lively, and fearless than me – and think that such people are better than me – and possess a quality that make them better than me – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop comparing myself with others, and instead focus upon discovering myself as a physical being HERE – stop worrying about how I am perceived and whether I am good, or not good – and instead walk, and apply myself HERE as the physical one and equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make interacting, and participating with other human beings into a energy-game where I will attempt and try to gain the attention and recognition of others – and wherein I will try and attempt to be seen, and validated by others – wherein I will compromise and suppress myself in order to be seen as normal, and as fun to be with and around – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop compromising myself – stop thinking that I have to fit in – stop thinking that there is something wrong with me when I am not able to speak, and communicate about the same points as everyone else – and instead of attempting and trying to be like others – to instead accept and allow myself to be like – and get to know myself as a physical being here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried that I will be forgotten by others – and that I will be rejected by others – and to try and attempt to stop this from happening – compromise and suppress myself – wherein I will speak, and move myself from within and as a starting point of fear – and anxiety – and inferiority – and worry – as fearing that I will one day be alone and without any company – instead of accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as all-one – to accept the fact that I am not like everyone else – as I am here – walking breath – as ME – as a individual – and that as such – it’s nothing strange, or weird, or bad – that I won’t be able to create a relationship with each individual in my world – as I simply do not fit – exist within and as the same position as others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there is something wrong with me unless I am able to communicate with, and entertain – and create a relationship with every being that is in my world – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding – that there is nothing bad – there is nothing wrong – it’s simply that there is no point of common interest, or connection – and that this is nothing bad, or wrong – and that I don’t have to force myself to communicate with such a being – but that I can simply let it go and remain here as breath – and walk self-honesty in every moment

I commit myself to walk self-honesty – and as such not try and attempt to force myself to communicate and create relationships with beings that I do not share any common interest – or point of connection with – and as such I commit myself to breath and participate within and as the interactions that emerge here naturally as me

I commit myself to walk self-honesty – as not emulating myself to fit into – and mold myself to become accepted by others – but instead walk here as a real being and as such form real relationships – with beings that I share points of interest with – or that I am simply able to speak, and share myself with as myself – as the real me – wherein I don’t have to emulate, or change myself – or speak about things that I really do not care about – only in order to hold unto a idea of a relationship with another being

I commit myself to form relationships with others HERE as myself as breath – wherein I as such commit myself to live REAL to be REAL – and to walk myself as REAL here – and as such communicate for real – as breath – as not preparing myself to speak – as not looking in myself what I can speak with another about – but accepting and allowing myself to flow, and interact fluidly here

I commit myself to when I notice that I go into the fear of not being accepted – the fear of not having sufficient with relationships – the fear of not being liked – that I immediately stop myself, take a deep breath and bring myself back here to the physical – and that I instead walk myself HERE as a physical being – and that I appreciate myself here – that I am grateful for myself here – and that I enjoy myself here – whether I am all-one – or I interacting with others

I commit myself to remain the same – constant – yesterday, today and tomorrow – whether I speak, and interact with others – or whether I am by myself in my apartment – or whether I am out walking on the town; and as such I commit myself to stop looking for something more – to stop believing that I am insufficient and that I require to form relationships to grow myself – and I instead commit myself to participate with other from a starting point of: “I am satisfied with myself here and I don’t require another to give me comfort, and surety – as I am here

I commit myself to stop attempting, and trying to force relationships in my world – to force myself to speak, and interact – and as I notice that I do so – to immediately stop myself, take a deep breath and bring myself back here – and walk myself as breath as the physical – enjoying myself HERE – appreciating myself HERE – and being satisfied with myself HERE

2012 And How I Came To Fall In Love With Desteni

I had just finished the gymnasium and I was searching for something, I wanted there to be something in life more exciting than money – something meaningful – something that I could dedicate my life towards, and find true enjoyment doing; so far I hadn’t found anything that I could completely immerse myself in, I hadn’t found anything that fulfilled me – so I felt empty.

It was in this state of emptiness that I decided to travel the world too see if I could find what I was looking for outside the borders of my birth-country – I went to Asia – I found nothing – what was I looking for? What was it that was missing in my life? How come that nothing of what I did felt valuable, substantial, of any worth? How come I felt empty at all times? What was it that was missing?

I tried following my dream – to become an artist – I thought that maybe me becoming an artist would fulfill me? I managed to find a gig, I managed to play in-front of a crowd – I managed to get a couple of people to tell me that I was good at singing, and good at playing guitar – yet still – what is it that is missing? Why can’t I be satisfied with myself? Why does it feel as if there always something left be done, no matter how much do?

I wanted an answer – I wanted to be able to enjoy myself – I remembered my childhood clearly – I knew that when I was young I had experienced myself differently – I had been able to enjoy myself, and find the most simple things to be so utterly fascinating, and exciting – playing football with my friends – bathing in the lake – having a pet lizard, feeding it and looking at how it ate small worms – building villages out of sand, and then playing with the small sand houses – I remembered this time well, and I knew that as I had grown older – this ability of mine that I had possessed as a child, to be able to immerse myself in the movement of the moment, had gone missing.

Something had to be done – an answer had to be found – a solution had to be created – I couldn’t continue to live and experience myself as I did – I wanted to return to my childhood experience of myself – but how? Where was the answer? And why was I the only one that felt as I did? Didn’t anyone else feel that, as they came to grow and become older, they slowly but surely ran stale, like water once running freely and abundantly in a lake, but year by year slowly and almost unnoticeably drying out, until one day no more water remains – that was how I felt – like a fountain of water that didn’t anymore have access to it’s water supply – there was something missing.

I found spirituality – I found meditation – I found the belief in ascension – this made somewhat sense I thought and I tried to empty my mind, too breath and somehow change the experience of myself, and find some type of peace, or comfortableness – this didn’t work – I wanted it to work – I deceived myself into believing that it worked, but in essence I remained the same – still this same restlessness – this same unease – this experience of wanting to go somewhere, yet no matter how many times I got there – there was still another there to go to.

Then I found Desteni – due to my experience of myself, as having realized that I was empty, that there was something missing in my life, and that there was something fundamentally flawed and wrong with how I experienced, expressed, lived myself – I knew that that this was in-fact the answer I had been looking for – I was ready to hear – more than ready to hear – I understood that I had somehow, without me realizing, or seeing it died during my years of coming to age, and I knew that Desteni offered and shared the practical way of bringing myself back to life – self-forgiveness – self-corrective application – self-honesty – common sense and breath.

I was looking for my youth – for the ability a child owns of being able to enjoy themselves without any addiction needed to be fulfilled – no love – no sex – no weed – no alcohol – no dreams – no money – no success – no power – no ascension – simply living self-enjoyment here – no more and no less – this was what Desteni showed me – how this can be done – how the expression of living as the innocence of a child can be re-created and re-stored – this was what I had been looking for all along.

None of my friends understood or saw what Desteni presented – the reason – they were all to satisfied with holding on to their perceived experienced of satisfaction, created through the usage of various drugs – whether it be sex – whether it be alcohol – whether it be drugs – they simply didn’t want to face that inner experience of emptiness and pointlessness that I came to see and experience within me – this experience that I had for quite some time been suppressing with the usage of drugs and additives; but no more – I wanted to exist without additives – without a constant need of placing myself into an experience of fabricated bliss – that really was only me not being aware of myself anymore – but existing completely secluded from reality and how I in-fact felt.

Desteni presents the most important message ever shared with mankind – Desteni presents the way back to innocence – the way back to self-expression – the way back to self-trust – the way back to self-enjoyment – the way back to ourselves – we’ve all been children – we all know how it is to laugh because we so much enjoy expressing ourselves in the most simple and rudimentary ways – Desteni offers all that apply the tools presented the way back to the ability to laugh – too enjoy moments seemingly boring and uneventful – Desteni offers substance to fill the experience of emptiness we all carry inside ourselves – filling ourselves with ourselves – making ourselves to become substantial, practical, and physical beings.

Thus – I am the example that our childhood can’t be lost – it can only be forgotten – though it’s our responsibility to bring ourselves back to life – to end the existence of ourselves as lost in a mind – lost in thinking – lost in feeling – lost in perceiving – lost in believing – and first and foremost – lost in FEAR – though all of these mental delusions can be deleted – and what can be placed in it’s stead is actual self-experience, and actual self-expression – this is something that mustn’t be missed out on – though it’s up each and everyone – we all have free choice – we either birth ourselves yet again, or we remain stagnant until we finally run dry and die.

Life is waiting for you to take it upon yourself to bring yourself back from the dead – what are you waiting for?

Featured Art Work by Andrew Gable
Facebook Link – http://www.facebook.com/andrewgableartist
Youtube channel – http://www.youtube.com/user/ANDREWGABLE1?feature=mhee
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Blog Links:
Process Blog – http://andrewgablehere.wordpress.com/
Artist Blog – http://andrewgableartist.wordpress.com/

And

Ann Van Den Broek
Facebook link: http://www.facebook.com/AnnVandenBroeck
Youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/users/Spamann
Blog links:
http://beneath-the-rose.blogspot.com/
http://theatomdecides.blogspot.com/
http://earthsreview.blogspot.com/
http://beyondthenight.blogspot.com/