Tag Archives: easy

Day 436: Too Easy-Going?

Is it possible to be too easy going? Too relaxed? To comfortable?

Throughout most of my life, I have had an easy time to remain calm. When others would go into stress or anxiety, I would usually remain placid. It has not been a skill/talent that I have actively developed, it has instead been with me from birth – even as a baby I was calm and content. And, it is clear that this calm has been a strength many times. However, it has also become a weakness.

I have realized that being calm and content, for me, it lead to creating apathy – which I would define as the characteristic of accepting what is here because it works – and not putting in the effort to establish and create what would be BEST for me instead. Another consequence was that, because I was calm and felt relatively at ease regardless of the situation, I did not develop the skill of actively engaging with my reality – asking HOW I want this situation to play out – WHAT would be BEST? Hence – I entrenched myself into a observer personality – where I just looked at what was going on instead of ACTING.

Thus, to answer my initial question, YES it is possible to be too calm. If calmness become the modus operandi, a constant, and further, a hiding place, to not have to put in the effort to put myself out there, to create, to actively engage, to actively participate and be a part of molding/creating/shaping my life/reality. Obviously, it is not being calm in itself that is the problem, what I see, is that being calm becomes a problem when I rely on this mode of being to bring myself through any and all situations – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding – that sometimes – other skills/expressions but calm are required to handle life.

Thus, something that I want to create in myself is to be more active and engaged in my life – and one solution that I have seen is the following: When I am in the midst of a situation, where I notice that I am going into observer mode, collapsing into a state of being ‘too calm’, that I take a breath, and ask myself, ‘What is that I want to create in this situation? What direction/movement would be BEST for me?’ – that I hence, as a first step – establish for myself what it is that I want – so that do not flow through the moment as an observer, indifferent to what is going on around me.

And this is a way of approaching situations that I can start to practice equally in moments when I am not retracting myself into an observer mode. For example, when I get to work in the morning, and I am about to begin my day, I see that it would be supportive for me to stop for a moment, to take a breath, and to ask myself how and where I want to go. This will assist and support me to develop drive and precision when it comes to actually creating/building the life for myself/others that I see is BEST.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in a state of being too calm – where I accept and allow my environment and my life to go without direction – and be less than best – because I am comfortable and at ease with things being half way best – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push and practice this voice within me of asking WHAT IS BEST? And then to motivate myself to pursue what is best – to not settle for that which works, that which is okay, that which is reasonable, but to in all parts of my life pursue and move towards that which is the best direction and movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow what is not best, because it works, instead of pushing towards and pursuing that which is best – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that dissatisfaction, feeling discontent, can be supportive emotions – that assist and support me to break out of my comfort zones and to transform my comfort zones into zones that are best for me and others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put in the effort and will to make each part and aspect of my life, my own, in the sense that I am actively involved in that part of my life, to create and make out of it, the best that it can be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in the ‘I am comfortable’ quagmire – where I stop pursuing the best – and creating myself according to what I know is my potential – because my life is easy and I do not feel like changing anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too easy going, too comfortable and too flexible with my life, to the extent where I accept and allow myself to become satisfied and at ease with all kinds of unsupportive arrangements, that are not the best, but that works for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to take a stand, and to make a decision as to what I will accept and allow, and what I will not accept and allow, to develop a relationship with my life, in the sense that I pursue and push for what I know is best – and do not settle only for what works and what is comfortable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself, what is BEST for me and my life, and the life of others, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for what is comfortable, instead of pushing for what is best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work to change that which I am not satisfied with, to not push and will myself to make the best out of my life, and to not accept things as is, only because I am not bothered by them

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself accepting my life to be as is, because I am not bothered by it, even though I know it is not for the best, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I must push myself to make decisions for myself as to what I will accept and allow, and what I will not accept and allow, that it is not enough for things to just be comfortable, thing is, that they should be BEST – and thus I commit myself to push and will myself to bring through what is BEST in each and every circumstance – and not settle for that which works


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Day 434: How to Create Better Solutions

When faced with a problem, an issue, a difficulty, a tendency that I have noticed within myself, is that in the effort to correct/change this point, I will use positive, strong and abstract words. An example would be the following: I see that I tend to get angry at my partner for not picking up the dishtowel and placing it where I think it should be. I decide to correct this point and create the following correction: “I will love my partner and respect her even though she wants to do things differently in the kitchen”. Hence, a positive, yet, vague and abstract sentence. Now, what I have come to realize, is that this is a problem.

What is problematic with these types of corrections is that they do not offer a concrete, direct and immediate solution – there is not a set guideline for what to do when the pattern arise – and because of that it is very easy to fall back into old behaviors. Because what does it really mean to ‘love’ my partner in this context? Should I remain quiet? Should I go and give my partner a kiss? Should I look at my partner lovingly and then proceed to simply change the positioning of the dishtowel myself? And what does it mean to respect that my partner wants to do things differently in the kitchen in this particular situation? Should I then respect it, however, still be angry about it?

Vague words creates uncertainty and indecisiveness in the moment of correction, because we do not have a clear image/vision of what we are going to create. In the world system, this mistake can be found in my places. One example is human rights. They do sound lovely; we should respect everyone, and each person is born free and with the same rights as everyone else. Though in practical terms, what do these beautiful words mean? Should everyone then have the same salary? What does it really mean? And because there is no clear and precise structure placed through the words – what happens is… nothing. Since the implementation of Human Rights, next to nothing has happened – and partially – that is because there has not been a structural and specifically defined way forward.

What is important to think about when creating a correction/solution for oneself?

There are a few guidelines that I use when I define a solution for myself – and these I have found to consistently support me to define effective and empowering corrections. Firstly, I make sure that the correction is GROUNDED, and with that I mean that the solution is a physical or mental movement that can be easily understood and acted upon. An example would be, to take a deep breath. That is simple, easy to understand and practical solution. I know how to take a deep breath every day.

Secondly, I make the solution EASY. There is no point in designing/imagining a long and complex set of movements or words that I am to speak, because later in the day, I will forget it anyway. Hence, I have realized that I need something that sticks. I need a catchy solution, a bit like a song that sticks on my brain. One solution I had, when I practiced structure and following through on plans, was to each time I noticed that I wanted to veer and digress from what I was doing, to say: ‘No, focus’ – and then I turned my attention back to the project I was doing.

Thirdly, I push myself to have the solution be SPECIFIC. The solution should be complete and finished, precise, in what I am supposed to do, when and how – when the moment comes and the correction must be applied – there should not be anything more to consider – but simply to apply.

Thus, GROUNDED, EASY and SPECIFIC, these are three guidelines I use when creating and defining solutions for myself, and they have assisted and supported me a lot in defining supportive ways for me to live and correct inefficient living patterns.


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Day 364: Developing Self-Reliance

The most recurring experience as of late has been fear – mostly fear of survival. I have been working diligently with the point and made some notable progress, there is however still a lot to be walked. One aspect of the fear that I have yet to transcend is that of fearing authorities and superiors that in some way have power to effect my ability to survive. Because they are able to influence, for example, my access to money, the fear seems to be justified and reasonable when it arise. Obviously, I am aware that this is not the case, though the fact that this experience exists within me does reveal an interesting point; that there exist a hope/desire to be taken care of and supported by authorities.

If a negative experience exists, which in this case is fear, then a positive experience will exist as well, and in this case that positive experience is security and feeling backed. Hence, for me, authorities have become a means of substantiating my own lack of self-reliance.

Apart from forgiving the fear, the solution I see is to develop self-reliance. For example, that could be done through pushing myself to take active responsibility for my work and career – and not in anyway accept and allow myself to rely upon my employer to secure my influx of money – but to make sure that I am a effective, that my skills are superior, that I am professional and able to offer a service that is needed. Thus I take charge of my own self-creation, planning and access to money, and remove the variable, of needing my employer to stand behind me as a point of security.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely upon my superiors and authorities to handle my life for me – and to blame them when things does not go the way I want – and to feel good and love them when things do go the way that I want – instead of placing reliance back where it belongs – with myself – and thus making sure that I do live in such a way where I direct my life – I create my life – and where it is not about relying on someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being abandoned and judged by my superiors in fear of loosing my access to money and security, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to when I am able to please my superiors, to feel secure, safe and well cared for – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate within a polarity in relation to my superiors, and the system, where I on the one hand love it, and on the other, fear it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is to stand equal and one with and as the system, with and as my superiors, to understand that in order to be stable within me, I require to take full responsibility for myself, my future, and my direction, and my actions at work, and to make sure that I am walking and creating my life in such a way that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to be able to handle my own survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the system to deal with and secure my survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not strong enough, or developed enough, or ready yet to take responsibility for my survival – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a parent and someone to care for me in the system – to seek for someone to be there for me and show me the way – instead of me taking full responsibility for myself and the direction of and as my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define myself as inferior to the system, inferior to my employer, inferior to survival, and thus believe that I cannot rely on myself, but that I need the system to stand beside me and support me – to be there as a father figure for me because I am not able to do it by myself – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear developing a real and sound reliance within myself – where I do not assume that things will work out and be alright – but where I take the appropriate actions to ensure that I move myself in a direction that is best for me and others in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the system, my superiors, when things do not work out in relation to my survival, when I make mistakes, and fear arise, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that I have created the pattern within me, that I have made the decisions and that it has nothing to do with the system, my superiors, my employers – in-fact it is a pattern I have developed where I fear taking active responsibility for myself – and I place my reliance out there into something else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to care for me, to support me, to be there for me, and to make my life secure and easy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to make my life comfortable, to give my life direction, to move my life in the ‘right’ direction, to secure my life – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that money is in-fact a dead object – that it is not something that can save me and my future – that is something only I can do for myself – and thus fact is that money is a tool – something that I can use that support myself – however that support will only ever be as effective as I am within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on money to ensure my future, to rely on money to walk my process, to rely on money to take care of me, to rely on money to make things work for me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this belief that money will take care of everything – it is just that – a belief – and fact is that real security, real safety, real direction and care will only ever arise from my own decision and movement to stand as and live those words actively within and as my life

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into either a fear or desire towards money, within the context of the belief that money can care for me, money will solve all problems, money will support me, money will ensure security and safety, I take a breath, I stop myself, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this is an illusion that I have created for myself – that in-fact money is only as effective as I am within myself – and that if I am not clear – stable and directive – then money will not support me – and thus I commit myself to take back directive principle – to take charge of myself and my life and actively move myself to care for myself, to solve problems, to support me and to develop security and stability in my life – as who I am – and more concretely – I commit myself to do that through continuously pursuing to make the best of my life – to look for and act on opportunities when they do arise – to push my writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and my in the moment correction – to develop a stability that stands through the difficult times

When and as I see myself going into either a positive or a negative experience in relation to an event to concerns my superior, as either feeling safe, secure and cared for, or feeling that my survival is threatened, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this polarity within me indicates that I have not yet developed self-reliance and self-standing within me – in particular in relation to survival and money – and that I still want someone to care for me – and thus I commit myself to stop – to breathe and bring me back here – and instead – in the moment – look at how I am able to improve, expand, develop myself and move – how I can learn from mistakes to become more efficient in survival and moving myself in my reality – and what I can further strengthen and improve that already works – to thus take active charge of my self-development and utilize my failures and successes to guide me forward and to improve myself

 


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Day 334: Let Me Get Organized!

The problem

There is a reason that this blog is called a dreamers journey to life. The reason being, that I am a dreamer. As a dreamer, the way I approach tasks, schedule my week, handle my work responsibilities, is many times quite chaotic. This is not because I am a irresponsible person, or because I do not care about making the best of my days, it is because I tend to be more in a state of what I next, and also because, I at the same time get very caught up in THIS MOMENT, where I start to analyze, consider, and look at what is here, to such an extent that I loose track of time. Ergo, this set of conditions have lead to the following consequences: I forget things, I handle things in a rush because there is no adequate plan and not enough time time.

I discussed this tendency of mine with a friend, and within that I could see that a appropriate word for me to practice living is ORGANIZE. Hence, in the following blog, I will redefine, and look at how I can practically live this word in my day to day living.

Redefining the Word Organize

How I have lived the word thus far in my life

My lack of organizational skills became apparent to me when I started high school. With more subjects, classes, and exams, it got increasingly difficult to have everything in my head. And then, on-top of school, I had hobbies, and leisurely interests, which I also had to keep track of. Needless to say, this resulted in me forgetting things, and because I was not used to utilizing a calendar, or a almanac – and because I did not at that point in my life regard the consequences as sufficiently severe – I simply allowed this problem to fester. I enjoyed to see myself as a free spirit, easy going, boundless, creative and imaginative, and obviously NOT tied down to boring, time-based conditions.

However, as I began university, I started to apply myself more when it came to organization. I developed time management skills, learned how to plan my studies, and make sure that I had sufficient with time to handle my responsibilities, and got quite good at it. However, only to a certain extent. I was still quite chaotic in how I approached things, and in my private sphere, where I was not forced organize in the same way, I simply did not do it.

One could thus say, that the reason I have not applied and become effective with the word organize, is because I have not practiced it enough and deliberately made it a part of my life.

Current definition

Dictionary definition

  1. arrange systematically; order: organize lessons in a planned way.
    • coordinate the activities of (a person or group) efficiently: she was unsuited to anything where she had to organize herself.
    • form (a number of people) into a trade union or other political group: we all believed in the need to organize women.
  2. make arrangements or preparations for (an event or activity): social programmes are organized by the school.
    • take responsibility for providing or arranging: Julie organized food and drink for the band.
  3. archaic arrange or form into a living being or tissue.

Etymology

Organize
early 15c., “construct, establish,” from Middle French organiser and directly from Medieval Latin organizare, from Latin organum “instrument, organ” (see organ). Related: Organized; organizing.

Organized
1590s, “furnished with organs,” past participle adjective from organize (v.). Meaning “forming a whole of interdependent parts” is from 1817. Organized crime attested from 1929.

Sounding the word

Organ-eyes

Or-gone-eyes

Organ-I-See

Or-gain-I-See

Creative Writing

An organ, which is a independent part or function within a greater whole, is part of the word organize. Further, in organize we find the words I-See, thus forming the sentence, Organ I See – and this to me goes to show that organize is about seeing various parts, how they work together, and how to direct them, in a holistic way. Thus living the word organize, is about having an overview, seeing all the various organs that form my day in my life, and each day, as a organ that form part of my life. I have the organ of waking up, the organ of eating breakfast, preparing myself for work, using my car, all of these aspects are important to take into consideration when I create my day – and if I loose perspective – and only place focus on ONE organ – such as for example one particular task that I have to get done at work – then my day will not function effectively as I will not pay adequate attention to the other organs of my life.

An important part of living the word organized is thus to remain grounded, to breath, and to not loose myself only ONE moment, but to keep an overview of where I am going next, while at the same time, placing the necessary attention on the ORGAN/MOMENT that I am participating i HERE.

Redefinition

Seeing, directing and structuring independent parts to create an efficient whole

Practical living application

How am I able to live this word practically in my day to day living?

  • At the beginning of my day, look at what must be done that particular day, walk through it in my mind, see the various individual parts, and structure them into a efficient whole
  • At the end of each week, sit down with myself and look at what must be done the coming week, and use my calendar, or almanac to see and take notice of each individual part that make up my coming week, and structure them into a efficient whole
  • When I approach a task, look at what parts the task contain, and how I am able to systematize and structure these parts to form an efficient whole
  • To ask throughout my day, stop for moments, and look ahead, to see whether there is parts in my day that I must take into consideration and act upon – and to see how I can structure them into the flow of my day
  • To use routine, and systems to make daily living easier, for example, through always putting my keys in the same place as I get home, through noting down things (parts of my day) that I suspect I will forget otherwise
  • To consistently, and persistently use to-do lists, and my almanac to structure my life, and make sure that I get to the things which I need to get to
  • To not trust that I will remember things, and instead note it down.

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Day 318: Insider or Outsider, Where Do You Want To Be?

Have you ever felt like an outsider? The word is usually used in the context of social interaction, the forming and shaping of groups, friendships, and other social structures – and it identifies the individuals that are not part of the social structure that has developed. In the dictionary, an outsider is, among other things, defined as a person who is not accepted by or who isolates themselves from society.

Looking at the emotional charge of the word, it has a definitive negative emotional connotation. Being an outsider is not something that is defined as a positive characteristic of a person, and hence, many of us, are very much fearful of excommunication, of bullying, and being pushed away from our current social setting, that is to say, from the group within which we have come to define ourselves. Existing within such a fear is a limitation, and hence it is clear that, for anyone feeling like an outsider, the solution is not to strive to become an insider, the solution is not to build your self-image, and self-value upon you being part of a group. For us to be self-reliant, self-confident, effective people with integrity to be able to stand for what we see is best for all, there cannot be any emotional dependency on a group of people.

Being an outsider is however not a solution, and what I have found in my own process of walking through and directing the ‘outsider-character’ is that it is also a mind-construct with a core point of fear. Here the fear is also that of being excommunicated and pushed out from the group, however the tactic is different. Instead of playing along with the game, and aiming to be accepted and loved by a group, the strategy is to never be part of a group to begin with, because then the fear of being rejected by a group will never materialize. It is a more cunning way of avoiding the hurtful experience of rejection, however, it is also severely limiting our potential as human beings to expand, form relationships and get to know people.

The solution is not to try and make ourselves friends with everyone, and the solution is not to become an outsider and push people away. What I have realized is that in order to transcend this polarity of either being an insider, or an outsider, we have to deal with the core issues – and that is in both cases – fear. For me, this fear has consisted out of the fear of rejection, fear of not being accepted, fear of not being liked and fear of not fitting in.

To deal with these fears, what I did was that I asked myself questions, such as the following: ‘Why do I fear rejection? Why do I fear not being accepted? Why do I fear not being liked and not fitting in?’ – and what came through here is that all of these fears relate back to me – and that I have not developed a sufficient self-standing, self-acceptance, and self-value. Because would I be able to fear rejection if I knew that regardless of what happened, I would always stand with and by myself and be fulfilled and whole in that? And would I fear not being liked or fitting in, if I would enjoy myself, and perfectly well, fit into my own life the way I see is best for all?

The answer to those questions is no – and as such we are able to learn a lot about ourselves through investigating how we feel around groups of people, how we interact, how we think and whether we decide to become an outsider or an insider. I have found that our emotional experiences is only ever a consequence of a misalignment in our relationship with ourselves, and should only be used as a guiding light to find the real underlying issues.

I have found that the most efficient way to direct these underlying issues, which are the real problem, is to LIVE WORDS. The process of living words is easy to understand and it is being thoroughly walked through at the School of Ultimate Living, which I suggest anyone interested in changing deep seated compromising habits and patterns to pay a visit to. Living Words basically means that we establish a word, with a definition, that effectively serves as a placeholder for a new expression we want to establish in our lives, and then we put that new expression into practice.

With me, I established that the word self-acceptance would assist and support me to change my experience of myself. I looked at how I could express this word in my day-to-day living – in this I saw that I regularly throughout my days – judged myself for how I interacted with people. I thought back on my interactions either defining them as ‘good’ or as ‘bad’. I defined a interaction as good when there was a flow to the conversation and a natural comfortableness between the other person and I. The interaction was defined as bad when there was a miscommunication, an emotion coming through, uncertainty coming to the surface, or some other external or internal event occurred that stopped the ‘flow’ in the moment.

Then I could see that an effective way of living self-acceptance would be to stop these assessments of myself and my social interactions with others – and to replace this assessment chatter with me accepting myself in the moment of interaction – and doing that through relaxing my body, feeling my breath, and bringing myself back HERE whenever I could see that this assessment chatter wanted to come up within me. Hence practically developing and LIVING self-acceptance – and through this process I have been able to change my experience of myself when it comes to groups – where I am not anymore as afraid of what people might think of me, and how well I fit in, or whether I am liked or not.

Living words is a efficient way of transcending the polarity of being an insider or outsider – and it places the focus back on self. Because it is not about whether we feel apart of the group or not, it is all a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves – and hence – all of our lives can be used as a support for us to get to know ourselves more intimately and establish new patterns and expressions that are best for all.


Other blogs on this topic:

Day 577 – Do I not belong?

437. What to Do when Feeling like an Outcast?

Outsiders – day 695

461: You Don’t Have to be an Outsider – Invite Yourself In

Day 1102: Stepping out of Your Comfort Zone

Day 148- Isolating Myself from Relationship’s

The Outsider – Day 511

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Day 313: When Work Becomes A Lifestyle

In certain professions and career paths there exist this norm, an accepted and even idealized trait, that you should work a lot – that it is good to work a lot – that you will expand and bloom if you work a lot. It is a interesting way of looking at life and there are many examples of this in modern TV-series. Let us look at the series Suits for example. Here we have two guys, pulling long hours each day, working, hanging out with their colleagues, and on their free-time, which is sparse, they either plan what they are going to do at work later, or worry about things that have or that might go wrong at work.

I have myself managed to end up in one of these career paths where there is a majority that view work as an ideal and it has only been recently that I have started to question this way of life, and in that asking myself – why is it that I see working a lot as something to strive for? And looking deeper at this point, I have seen that it is not so much about the work in itself, instead what moves and drives me to put in long hours is a mix of fears, desires, and also, some genuine expressions of MOVEMENT and EXPANSION. There is in-fact a genuine urge to improve, to go further, to enhance,  and to reach perfection. However, there is one important point that is missed in all of this, and I assume it is something that has become programmed into us from birth, it is that I do not see that in ALL parts of my life there are opportunities to push for perfection.

Hence, why is it that I only choose to push and will myself to go further at my work and not for example, with the same fervency and passion, in my own inner process of self-change? Or in my daily living chores, such as cooking, cleaning, washing, doing my hair, cleaning myself, etc? What I have seen is that this drive does not exist the same way, because in my personal life, there is no reward, there is no MONEY at the end of the line, there is no boss approving my work, no colleague telling me that I am doing good, there is no STIMULUS that moves me to push myself. This is obviously a extensive limitation, and a misalignment that causes me to put in too much time at work, creating a unbalance between my personal life of leisure and responsibility, and my professional life of survival in the world system.

What I have seen that I want to create in my life in order to correct this point is a balance between my leisure life and my professional life – and also – to remind myself each day that my private leisure life is also VERY important  – because it is here that I am able to pursue interests and push points that are not at this stage accepted as a part of the working system. Such as for example, giving time and effort to the DIP courses that I am walking, or pushing myself to write more for myself, do more blogs, and when the time is there, do vlogs – and also to give myself time to investigate the current functioning of the system.

What I want to share with this blog is the importance of remembering ourselves, that it is not about what we do in the system, who remembers us, how much money we earn, or what legacy we leave behind – at the end of the day it is about WHO WE ARE – and that point of self-creation is not limited to working. In-fact, for us to expand, to become multifaceted, skilled and learned in all parts of living, we have to give ourselves time to do other things but working.

And due to this point opening up, I have begun to observe myself more intently those days when I remain at the office long after working hours – and I have seen that my experience in those moments is slightly charged and elevated, it has become an addiction to work past the clock, and even though I have handled all the responsibilities that are required, I still sit there and continue – because I do not feel like stopping. It is thus in these moments that I have begun to apply the correction of taking a deep breath, slowing down, and asking myself: ‘Do I really need to sit here and work past the clock today?’ – and then if I answer that question with a self-honest NO – I pack up my things and leave for the day.

And related to this, I wish to share something that I read: It was an article about an old man who was nearing his retirement, and he look at the new generations, and said it looked like we were all running a 100 meter race, running as fast as we could to create as much as possible. He said that actually, life, and work, is like a marathon, and to reach the end you have to retain a balance in your life. If you use up all your energy in the first kilometers, you are going to be too tired to finish. And that is insightful and it also the solution to career, to work, and actually, to most points in life – walk with moderation – balance – and see that if but one thing becomes our complete life – then we are going to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We need to have variety in our lives in order to be functional and effective. And here is then the irony, that the more balance we have, the more effective and productive we will be when we do sit down to work – because then we have a clear and rested mind and a rejuvenated and replenished body.

Day 262: Finding a Solution

a puzzle piece made of grassWhen I turn on the television and look at the conventional newscasts that are aired every night, most often what will be shared is problems. There are problems with schools, problems with politicians, problems with money, problems with crime, problems with jobs, problems with immigrants. Seemingly millions of problems, yet, what is very, very rare is the sharing of a solution. Why is that?

To answer this question, let us take a look at our own lives, and how we approach difficulties, issues, conflicts, and other tough points that arise in our day-to-day living. Because where is our focus? We look at the problem – and over, and over again we regurgitate in our minds how big our problems are. And what we many times miss is to actively look for the SOLUTIONS. So, in this blog I am going to share a practical living application that has assisted and supported me to be more immediate, and direct when it comes to handling problems that open up in my world – and walk them into a SOLUTION.

I will share a short story from my own life that will serve as an example of this practical application: I am at the moment building an expansion to my mother’s farmhouse. The plan is that my partner and I are going to live here, and share the spacious farm environment together with my mother. It is really a fun process to be part off. Though, when it comes to building, and acquiring a house like this, it requires a lot of capital, and because of this my partner and I have had to take on a loan. And today is I was looking at the building site, and the development of the expansion, a anxiety come up from within, and it went like this: “Oh, we are taking on so much debt to be able to do this! Shit! I could have decided to live more cheaply! Man, now I will be stuck with this for a long time!”

When that thought, and energy came up within me, initially I went into it. Then I applied self-forgiveness, and instead of continuing to exist in a state of worry/anxiety I began to look at a SOLUTION. Hence, I asked myself, what is the solution to this problem I am facing? And I realized that, instead of worrying about what this project costs, I can appreciate the fact that I do have the opportunity to do something like this in my life, and really involve myself in the construction of my future abode. And instead of looking at the debt as a point of pressure, see that me taking on this debt does allow me to walk, and experience a cool process of creation together with my partner. Thus I am in an optimum position to actually create, and be part of building the future of my life from the ground up, because an important part of my future will be my house, where I am going to live.

When I realized this, I could see that it was up to me to define WHO I AM in relation to this project that I have committed myself to walk. And I understood that I must make the decision, and unless I do that, my circumstances will do it for me. But do I want to walk through my life and feel pressured just because I have debt? No – I want to be able to live, and appreciate the environment and the life I am creating for myself. Hence the solution to my problem is to live this appreciation, this enjoyment, and push myself to explore and participate in this adventure that is unfolding day by day.

This is thus an example of the practical application of how we are able find SOLUTIONS to the inner conflicts we face. I have practiced the point of immediately as a reaction comes up within me, apply a self-forgiveness statement, and then look for, and live a solution. It is not as easy as it sounds, but developing such a skill is priceless – and really – it is what we as humanity needs to create. We are too much in love with our problems and it is not good for us – thus as a rule of thumb – I suggest that we place the focus in our minds 90 % on solutions, and only 10 % on finding and gauging problems.