Tag Archives: effort

Day 365: Solutions Instead of Defeat

Today I listened to the following interview on Eqafe: Interview Request – Polar Bears, Ice Melting, and Manifested Consequence. And as is always the case with Eqafe interviews, they assist and support me in opening up new insights and realizations.

When I listened to this interview, what opened up was the point of how I tend to feel defeated when I look at the world and the problems we are facing. It is not only because of how big the problems are, but because there seems to be only a minority of people that cares about finding solutions, and a majority that prefers to live in ignorance. There is however a alternative to defeat. That is changing my focus, from seeing the problems, to instead seeing the solutions. And I find this to be true not only in regards to world problems, but also in relation to my own personal issues – I often forget about the SOLUTIONS.

It is as if our minds are addicted to the problems and to the experience of defeat. We like to find the problems, to talk about the problems, to become stressed about the problems, and to give up in the face our problems. Finding solutions to the problems, that is secondary, and many times, nonexistent. That is the case with environmental issues such as the melting of the ice caps or global warming. We become stressed and emotional, and then we give up – we accept defeat and that it is too late to do anything, that is, before we have even begun. The proper response would have been to USE that stress as a motivation to get off our asses and start doing something about it.

And with regards to our personal issues. When a point opens up that seems to be too big, we easily accept defeat. Or, when we have tried a couple of different solutions, we stop pushing tell ourselves that it is no use. And then we come up with a justification as to why we are not continuing to push. This has happened to me several times – I will face a difficult point – and when I notice that it is going to take a lot out of me to change the point – accepting defeat is not far away. Though, I do have examples from my life where I have not accepted defeat. In those moments, what I have done, is that when I have been at the brink of giving up, I have taken a deep breath and re-focused my attention. I have then again looked at what it is that I want to achieve, and why I want to achieve it. I have reminded myself of my goals – and after pausing for a moment – I have moved myself to continue.

The trick has been to move beyond the point of feeling defeated. And this way I have been able to learn many skills that I initially perceived as impossible for me to acquire. One example is playing guitar. When I began, I could not fathom that I would one day be able to play the songs of my favorite bands. But I kept on practicing, I kept on looking at tips for how to improve on my technique, and then, at some point, I was suddenly able to play the songs I wanted to. It was a process of accumulation, where I day in and day out practiced a little, grew a little, moved a little – and in time – those small moments accumulated into a big change/movement – I learned to play guitar!

In this process of moving beyond defeat, solutions are essential. If I keep my focus on the problem, I will create more of it, get deeper into it, loose my sense of clarity and direction. I might even forget what it is that I WANT to happen, what is my goal? And then all I do is to try and find ways to cope with what is happening, instead of actively finding ways to definitively solve the problem. Understanding the problem is only the first step, the rest of the steps is about establishing a solid and sustainable change – and that is where the focus should be: What is that I want to create?

I will continue to practice this point of moving past defeat and creating solutions. Especially when a emotion comes up within me, presenting me with a problem, to then convert that emotional energy into a movement within me to instead look for a solution to the problem that I face. To not accept and allow myself to get stuck in a quagmire but to keep on moving – to keep on expanding – to keep on CREATING.


 

Day 343: Taking Charge of Work

It is not necessarily fun or enjoyable to work. In a very real sense, we are slaves to money, and we must work if we wish to survive. From that perspective, work is simply something we must do in order to get to and have time for the good things in life. Usually, the good things would be hobbies, family, friends, partying, traveling, and similar things. However, if we look at the time spent in the various compartments/dimensions of our lives, work is definitely one of the things we do the most. The majority of people spend their entire lives working, and have only a small amount of time left each day to spend on themselves. And when this is the case, it does not make sense to look and relate to work as something we have to get by and move past with as little involvement as possible – because – if we do – we will MISS OUT.

Work, even though we have to do it, it can become a rewarding, challenging and fascinating experience. What I have seen since opening this point up is that when we react to, and define work as only that ‘thing we just have to get through’ – we miss the countless of dimensions that exists within work where we are able to improve and expand. And it does not necessarily have to be about the work, meaning the physical action or actions we are involved within that defines our work. Instead, the the point of expansion can be found in unpredictable places and towards things that we would normally not pay any attention to.

For example, for me, what initially opened up as a challenge, and point within which I could expand, was living the word thorough. And this is because, in my line of work, being thorough is very important – and if one point is missed – this can have big repercussions. When I had mastered thoroughness, what opened up for me was balance, from the perspective that in order for me to be the best me, I had to develop and maintain a balance between leisure time, and time spent working. Recently, what has come up has been the word structure, which I am practicing through making daily to-do lists, following and developing effective routines, and before I begin with something, to slow down, and look at how I can approach the task in the best manner possible.

Though, what I mentioned above, that is only the bigger processes that I have walked. I have also worked with experiences in relation to colleagues, the pressures related to work, expectations that I have placed on myself, desires, inferiority, and more. What I want to say is that, if we are open to changing and developing ourselves to reach and stand as our utmost potential, work is a supreme location to be at – it is where we want to be – because we will face life straight head on – and it is in that face-to-face contact – that we have the opportunity to live – design – and create ourselves.

Instead of reacting to work, we should actively ask ourselves, what is it that I can do expand myself when I am working? Where can I push myself? Where can I develop myself? What can I learn from my colleagues? Where are my weaknesses and how can I turn them into strengths, and how am I able to strengthen my strengths even further?

Seen this way, working becomes something more, it becomes a place of creation, and not merely that place where you go to earn money, to afterwards go home, and only then do what you enjoy to do. Really, we should not have any separation in our lives, where we see one part of our existence as a prison where we cannot do anything but wait till we are released, and another part as our personal heaven where we want to spend every single minute. Regardless of where we are at, we have an opportunity to expand, create, move, and go beyond our limitations. And that must always be a part of our awareness. Hence it should not be our environment that creates us, we should do that, with our decisions, and the words we live.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 293: Being Social and Outgoing

Being social and outgoing, for some that might be easy, for others, me included, it is difficult and oftentimes something connected with resistance and insecurity. For me, I have felt comfortable standing more in the background when it comes to social interactions, and especially in group contexts. My preference have been, and still is, to interact with, and get to know people on a one on one basis and move forward in a slow tempo. However, in this world, that type of interaction is many times not possible, and in the professional world, we are many times expected to be outgoing, social, look happy, and pleasant. And unfortunately, we tend to judge on the basis of first impression, and then create our relationship with each other on the basis of that, instead of getting to know the other individual on a more deep, and intimate level, which always takes time.

So, in the professional world, and generally speaking, creating relationships in the world system demands that we develop and utilize the skill of creating a positive first impression. Not that much is required for a successful first impression, it is usually just being dressed properly, smiling, asking how the other person is doing. Though for me, this has been hard, because I feel like a sell out – because inside of me I am not really feeling/living that happiness/smile – or that real interest when I am asking how the other person is doing – it is currently an act made from a starting point of survival.

Now, I do see that there is a potential to change this interaction with other people, from being survival driven, to instead be self-driven – where the starting point is not ‘making a good impression’ – but rather sharing myself with another person in a moment – hence – giving of myself to another person in a moment through my words, my actions, and my behavior – showing to them that I am there with them in that moment and that I am meeting them – seeing them in that moment – recognizing them and allowing them into my world.

Thus, what must change within me is WHO I AM when approaching another person, and instead of being self-conscious, and worried about how the other person sees me, to instead be open, and comfortable, and sharing myself with the other person, giving that person a moment of my time where my presence and awareness is fully HERE – where they can feel that I am present – I am here – and that I am meeting them.

Why? Because that is how I would like another to meet me. I would like them to see me, and recognize me as an equal, and that they would take some time to get to know me, to ask me some questions, and open up a line of communication. There are very few people that are able to do this, and those few that are, I am immediately able to notice it in how I relax with them, and naturally open up in my expression – because I can see that they accept me and allow me to come into their world for a moment and take up their attention.

There is a potential to create these unconditional moments of meeting other people everyday in the world system. It is all a matter of how we define the relationship. If we label it as only being a professional relationship, then that is all it will ever be. If we however are open and unconditional, and we give of ourselves, maybe that relationship will develop in another direction. I have been able to see this for myself, where I have initially created a label for a relationship such as being professional, and then, as I have communicated more with the person, the relationship have changed, opened up, and become a lot more deep and intimate.

It is really cool what can develop if we are open, and if we give of ourselves through being present, here, aware, and make an effort to get to know others, communicate, see others, and recognize them for their skills, and unique potential. Though, it does not come by itself, as I mentioned, it requires effort and a push – especially if we have a tendency to withdraw – then there must be a daily pushing outwards until that point of unconditional giving in social situations is established.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change socialization, meeting new people, interacting, and speaking into a self-expression – a moment where I give of myself to another unconditionally – where I am present and aware as I for a moment meet another – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to corrupt this meeting of another human being into being only about survival, about fitting in, about being accepted – instead of seeing it as a moment of connecting with another universe and the opportunities such a connection can provide

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that every meeting with a new human being – is an opportunity to expand myself – and an opportunity for me to get to know someone else – to get a new and fresh look on life as I look on life through the eyes of someone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that in order to change my relationship with meeting new people, I will have to push through my comfort zones, and I will have to push the point of being HERE and OPEN and PARTICIPATE in the moment – pushing myself to be a part of the moment instead of withdrawing into myself and holding myself back in my zone of comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that meeting another, and creating relationships is an opportunity for me to expand myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see relationships and meeting new people as a nuisance and as something that I do not particularly enjoy to do – yet something that I must force myself to do so that I am able to fit in – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change this to instead being ME – GIVING of myself – GIVING of myself as my self-expression – as my unique way of interacting with and looking at the world – and that I am as such able to assist and support others to expand equally as they are assisting and supporting me to expand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people based on first impression, to judge them on the basis of memories, and ideas of how people should behave, and to judge them on the basis of how I feel about them, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this judgment is not real – that it is an experience and not an actual knowing of the other person – and thus I commit myself to make the effort to get to know people for real through communicating with them – through being present and aware with them – through being HERE and not in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know someone when I have an experience about that person – and when I have seen how that person interacts in one situation and in one moment – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I cannot know someone, and judge someone on the basis of one moment – and that people are much more than only one character in one moment, and that I can get to see this when I make the effort to get to know people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not show myself, and open myself up to people when I am interacting with them – to stand in my physical body in such a way that I am HERE and that I do not accept and allow myself to withdraw myself and go into a state of hiding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself out into the physical – through my body language – through my voice – through how I am standing and interacting here in this moment – to push myself outwards into this physical reality and stand

Self-commitments

When and as I see myself going into a state of hiding, through the way I place my body, with my shoulders slouching, looking downwards, and wanting to escape into myself, I stop, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this is not a solution – and in order to get to know my reality, to get to know people, to expand – I must face it – be part of it – stand and move in it – and that is done through coming out of my body – out from hiding – and standing in the middle of it all facing life – and thus I commit myself to push myself to stand in my chest area – and push myself out into physical reality through my voice, my body language, and my presence

I commit myself to make the effort to get to know others through communication, interaction and participation – and I commit myself to create the comfort zone with others – where I can be myself – through consistently pushing myself to communicate and break the ice – break the isolation and the fear – and establish that real comfort zone – where I am comfortable in being with another and being myself – because I have created that comfort in my relationship with another person through communication and interaction

I commit myself to push through resistance and awkwardness that might come up as I make an effort to communicate, participate and interact – and I commit myself to see, realize and understand that it is a matter of practice

I commit myself to present, aware and here – and make the focus of a moment with another – that I GIVE myself unconditionally – that I SHARE myself unconditionally – and do not accept and allow myself to remain withdrawn and hidden far back inside of myself

Day 127: Devolution and the Solution

A fascinating aspect of the so-called evolution of humanity is that we’ve actually become more and more dependent upon technology, more and more dependent upon money, and less and less self-reliable. We’ve defined this as human greatness – because apparently we’re now able to spend our time on ‘more important things’ rather than growing our food, and managing livestock.

Though, if we take a closer look on this phenomena, we’re able to see that we have digressed, and the state of the average human being is really that of a slave, both mentally, and physically, we’ve enslaved ourselves into a relationship of servitude and dependency – we don’t know anymore how food is grown, we don’t know anymore how sicknesses can be treated organically – and overall as our lifestyle have become more comfortable and easy – we as beings have become less physical and more mental – to the extent where we nowadays see very few children playing outside. This was unthinkable only 30 years ago, and I myself as a child played a lot in the woods, and playing various sports with my friends – this form of interaction with the physical doesn’t anymore exist.

So, we say that we have evolved, but the truth is that we haven’t – and regardless of the fact that some people, in some countries have a comfortable life, there is massive poverty and suffering existing all over the world – which proves that we haven’t even been able to evolve our political and economical system, even though we undoubtedly have had more time to think about things – as we’ve not been forced to work as much.

The question we should ask ourselves is why have we digressed? Why have we devolved? Why have not been able to by each generation improve ourselves, our genetics and overall education and understanding of this world? What is the reason for our fall?

There are obviously many aspects to this point – but one of the more prevalent points that I have found, as to why we don’t improve, I have seen through looking at myself, and my life – and what I have come to understand is that one of the most limiting and debilitating points that exists – is that tendency of blinding myself – which in essence mean that I make excuses for myself and the way I exist – I justify why I exist the way I exist, and leave it without taking any further action – and now – this is a absolutely fascinating behavior.

I mean, let’s look at this from a common sense perspective, how come I do not allow myself to change immediately when I see a point that requires change? Why is it that I do not without hesitation go to a solution? Because it’s easy to see, that immediately going to the solution, would be easier for me – I would actually correct a limiting point within me, it would be done, and then I wouldn’t anymore have to cycle that point again and again – yet still – I don’t – Why?

The only reason I have been able to see as to why I don’t change, and why I rather make excuses than immediately going to the solution, is because it takes effort to change, it takes effort to challenge one’s accepted and habitual ways – though looking at it in common sense – it’s obvious that in not changing the point – I am actually create such much arduous pain that it would obviously be less of an effort to change myself immediately – instead of having to go through the entire process of consequence, pain and suffering.

Thus, we should really ask ourselves when we see a point within ourselves that we don’t change, do not investigate, reflect upon, or recognize, but instead swiftly shove away with the use of some excuse – why is it that I accept and allow this behavior from myself, and HOW can I change it? How can I make sure that I do not continue this tendency of accepting and allowing – but that I instead stand up within myself – and start questioning what is going on?

What I have found through my process of change, is that one cool application of allowing myself to see myself, and recognize what is going on within me, is through writing, and applying self-forgiveness – because when I do this – before me on paper – undoubtedly is the real existence of me – and that makes it much more difficult to make up an excuse and just shove it all away.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself, and hide from self-change, and self-direction, through existing within and as my mind, and not accepting and allowing myself to dedicate myself to write, and apply self-forgiveness, because I know that in writing, and applying self-forgiveness, I will in-fact place myself in a position of seeing myself, and give myself and opportunity to change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution for self-change is that I stop making excuses for how I exist within and as myself, and instead immediately go to the solution, defining and specifying the problem, so that I will be able to make a concrete, and practical change within myself, that is specific

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I keep things in my mind, and I do not write them out, I tend to generalize my issues, and problems, and in that my solutions will be ineffective, and I will only remain with a problem, and a issue, instead of immediately giving myself to opportunity to sit down and specify the problem, so that I see specifically what I am facing, what thoughts, what excuses, what emotions, and what feelings, so that I am immediately able to direct myself and change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses for how I exist, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse making excuses with a solution, thinking, believing and perceiving that when I make an excuses, that when I make some sort of justification in regards to what I experience, and in that shove the problem away, that I have then apparently solved the problem, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I haven’t in-fact solved the problem, I have merely shoved the problem away, I have merely made myself unaware of the problem

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the excuse that it’s to hard to change myself, or that I have participated too much in a particular point, and because of that the point is too much integrated, and I can’t move, or direct it effectively – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that obvious common sense that – I created the point – thus I am able to change the point – and this is the fact with everything I experience – I created it – either directly or implicitly – and thus I am responsible for re-directing the point into and as a solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the simple common sense, that when and as I accept and allow myself to become obsessed within and as excuses, which is me saying to myself, that I am not able to change, and that it’s completely reasonable, and correct that I am not able to change, then I am limiting myself, and placing myself in waiting mode, wherein I wait for myself to come and change myself – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop waiting – and instead immediately strive to the rescue of myself – and change myself without hesitation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the excuse as to why I am not changing myself, thinking that, the thoughts are too automatic, they just come up within me, and apparently this then makes it impossible for me to change, and direct myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the thoughts automatic, and that it’s in-fact not something that I am unable to change – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to change, and direct myself into and as a solution – and walk the point of immediately finding a solution to the point of the thoughts being automatic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait with changing myself, and wait with directing myself, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go through excuses and justifications, before I go to the point of change, instead of immediately re-directing myself to a point of change within me, wherein I accept and allow myself to not wait, but I instead act and move myself, and construct a solution to the point that I am facing

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am using excuses to not change, that I justifying my state of being, and not immediately going to the solution, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that waiting for change is unnecessary, and making excuses is in-fact a waste of time, which I could’ve used to move myself to self-change; as such I commit myself to practice going to the solution – to not be stuck in the problem – but direct myself to find and walk a solution

When and as I see that I am resisting writing, and applying self-forgiveness, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I realize that I am in this wanting to avoid facing and seeing the real nature of myself, and in a way I am avoiding self-change – as such I commit myself to push through this resistance, to stabilize myself here within and as breath, and write, and apply self-forgiveness until I am clear – here – and stable

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